silentregrets

I write about my own thoughts and experiences, both past and present.

[silentregrets]

Dear Universe,

I never want to go through this again. Please, no more lessons. I’ve had enough. Don’t you think I’ve learned enough?

-painful lessons

[silentregrets]

Nothing is real. If I keep telling myself that nothing is real then nothing can hurt me. Nobody can break my heart. Nothing can make me cry. Nothing is real.

-disassociation

[silentregrets]

You went from being my favorite person to a complete stranger in an instant.

-and it’s fucking with my head

[silentregrets]

I’ve been trying to keep myself busy to forget about you and it’s been working...for the most part. But sometimes, whether it’s late at night or when I’m studying alone in the library, you manage to slip through the cracks for a moment.

—then i shut you out again

[silentregrets]

you spend the night with her

i spend the night listening to lofi songs

pleading with the universe

to make you mine

yet, she always tells me “no”

[silentregrets]

Cruel universe; I’ll never be worthy of you.

[silentregrets]

Watching you talk to everyone else but me makes me feel ugly on the inside.

-insecurities

[silentregrets]

I made myself sad by falling for you. I played myself. How could I be so stupid? Goddamn I’m so stupid.

-here we go again

[silentregrets]

I’m jealous and you’re not even mine.

-wtf is wrong with me

[silentregrets]

Currently and consistently reimagining a world where I’m able to tell you how I feel.

[silentregrets]

Perhaps one day I’d tell you what it was like to love you in secret for all those years. Perhaps one day you’d tell me you’ve always felt the same.

-or perhaps not

[silentregrets]

Your writings are so beautiful. Makes me imagine it was my crush saying them. But that'd never happen.

Haha, I know the struggle. Thank you for your kind words! :)

[silentregrets]

I miss you so much. I’ve been keeping myself busy and it’s not as hard as it used to be. But then I get moments like this when all I want—more than anything in the world—is to have a conversation with you. All I want is another moment with you.

-and i wonder, will this feeling ever go away?

[silentregrets]

I bet she’s sitting next to you right now and you still feel so alone.

-was it worth it?

[silentregrets]

I wish you loved me as much as you love getting high.

—you’re addicted to drugs and I’m addicted to you

[silentregrets]

It’s midnight and lonliness is wrecking you. You sit in the dark side of your room and ponder on whether it’s because you’re a terrible person or simply because you are nobody’s priority. Or second choice. Or third. Or fourth...or fifth...

—which is it?

[silentregrets]

Birthdays are depressing when you wish that you were never born.

—late july vibes