The Musings

because life is hard enough with nowhere to put your thoughts

[silknglaze]

yes, my life may be hard and filled with these awful things. but right now? right now, im laughing! The rest can wait.

[silknglaze]

going to see family is odd because as soon as I walk through those doors, im hit with all my life at once.

I'm 17 and filled with fiery rage for my unresolved youth.

I'm 8 and beginning to realize this isn't right.

I'm 13 and wanting to be everything I'm not.

I'm 4 and want a mother's love.

I'm 20 and filled with the sorrow of what could have been.

And yet, I keep coming back.

[silknglaze]

the hardest part of major life events is the continuing on. what do you mean my world hasn't stopped because of this mind altering thing?

[silknglaze]

i wish i had the freedom to shout and rave without worry of others. to let myself be angry, just once.

[silknglaze]

let me be weak, for once. let me weep into someone's arms without care for how i look or how they feel. let me be loved enough to be cared for.

[silknglaze]

im sick of resilience. for once, i wish to lay in a field of flowers with worry of the night creeping in.

[silknglaze]

making a therapist cry feels successful in a sadistic kind of way, but making every therapist is deafening.

[silknglaze]

i want to be known, but i don't wish to be analyzed. im sick of being read like a book.

[silknglaze]

i always wished to never have regret, but ive come to realize that regret is just the natural part of growing up. there are always choices to be made. and to think youll never make a bad one is foolish. regret is proof that you know better now.

[silknglaze]

i wish not to be cured, but rather to be free to live without woe