So I've finally graduated and don't know if I'm happy or petrified...
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@silwenworld
So I've finally graduated and don't know if I'm happy or petrified...
So when this song appeared on my yt recommendations, the only thing I could think of was how perfect it would have been for Red :D And so here is my little contribution to the Blacklist with the song My Name Is by Once Monsters :)
I thought fans hated rederina 'cause of transphobia, but most fans hate it 'cause they love red x elizabeth...
personally I can't think of a friend or lover of katarina sacrificing so much for her daughter..., that's why I think red is katarina...
I'd love to know others' opinions, if it's not katarina, who the hell is red?
there's a theory of a magical brother that has never been mentioned...
it's more logic to think red was a woman LOL
I'm actually on board with Redarina theory, even if I would prefer them taking it in a different direction, but If Redarina was the endgame? I'm fine with it. As to who else he may have been, ever since it had been revealed that he was an imposter, I thought Red wasn't related to Liz in any way. My theory was that his family had been taken, and he had been led to believe they were dead - hence the Christmas story and what he had later said to Fouler. Liz, somehow, would have been the key for him to get them back. I know it not necessarily explains the ways he had gone to protect her, but I think that if he was led to believe that if something had happened to her, the chance to be reunited with his daughter would have been gone as well, then it makes some sense. And in time, he also grew to care for her as just Lizzy - I have never seen them in a romantic way, but I wouldn't mind if they went this route xD the chemistry was there, so why not, even if I saw it as him messing with her most of the time, it's clear where the shipping is coming from.
But as I said, the Redarina would also be good in my opinion as it has the grounds to make it so, but it doesn't add up with some things from earlier seasons at least in my mind, but I'm willing to turn a blind eye on that :P
I'm alive though completely exhausted and want the Uni to be over. I want to write as I have all things planned out how they should go down, but the only energy I have when not studying is to lay in bed and watch tv-shows... That said I'm now trapped in Blacklist hell and unsurprisingly a Reddington stan... well.
But I've passed the biggest exam that could ground me! It seems I'll be a doctor in about a month and a half... Don't know if I should be happy or terrified.
oh, I love how the exam went like shit even though it was easy, but my brain is stupid and can't remember things... Well, at least I got drunk and played some games, so there's something.
Sudoku - Chapter 2
Summary: Nicholas Rush was like one, giant, brain-damaging sudoku which when one thought to have all figured out changed all the variables, leaving them in no better position when they had started, but when an accident during exploration of the newest part of the ship has dire consequences for the scientist the rest will have to do their best to help the man they had all thought to be an emotionless bastard. [Chapter 1] [AO3] Drifting in nothingness, not knowing who or where he was, was a weird, if not unsettling feeling. He was a person, a male, a... husband? Or at least he had been, once. Not anymore. Or maybe?
He wished he could understand what was happening to him.
Nick. It's not real.
Wasn't it?
*
Colonel Everett Young swept his hand over his tired eyes, sighing as he lowered himself into the chair. Rush had been in and out of consciousness for the last couple of days, and one could only guess how he would act each time. It wasn't constant - and TJ couldn't explain what was happening to the man even if she wanted to. She was just as lost as the Colonel.
One could think that being stranded on an alien ship in a faraway and foreign galaxy was the worst thing that could happen to a person. Young could believe that it had been what everyone had thought, at least at first, but it seemed that with every passing day, the universe made its sole purpose of proving to them that they had been, in fact, very wrong. In the latest couple of days, the Colonel grew to realise that losing one's mind was, in fact, the worst thing that could happen - Not being left for dead on an unknown planet, experimented on by the aliens, nor losing someone who you had probably loved. No.
Watching Rush was painful, to say the least. When awake, he would either be confused, angry or scared. Young had seen how fear had looked like in the other man's eyes, but this time, it was eternally different. It was a deep and profound dread of not knowing who or where one was and so unfitting for Rush that it left Young deeply unsettled every time it had happened.
There had been days when the scientists didn't recognise any of them - not Young, not TJ, Eli, or even Chloe. The only person he would have vaguely responded and actively had searched for had been his wife, whom - at least to Colonel's knowledge - had been dead for quite some time, which was problematic on a whole different level. But now, as he watched Rush flinch in his sleep, Young didn't know which was worse - that or when the man woke up with no recognition at all.
"Get your hands off me!"
"What's going on? Stay the hell away!"
Everett could feel the chill going down his body at the memory of those empty and scared eyes, so unlike Rush's that they could belong to a different person.
"What's happening to me?"
He shook his head. It was a good thing that Rush lost consciousness even quicker after those episodes than the other ones. They were disturbing but rarer as time went by, and they still didn't know why.
It almost looked as if...
No.
"I'm doctor Nicholas Rush. I'm a math teacher, not a soldier or any of that stupid stuff, and I don't know any of you. Have you seen Gloria?"
Young swallowed. If Rush's brain was resetting itself, one could only hope it would come on the right track with time. But knowing their luck, it would be anything but that simple.
"Don't hit me!"
Young just hoped he would be wrong for all their sake.
"Um, I think I hit my head or something? I hate to be a bother..."
He sighed again and looked down at the time on his wristwatch. If the pattern had been any clue at all, Rush should be waking up in about three minutes. But would it be Rush or the man who Young didn't recognise at all?
*
Sudoku - Chapter 2
Summary: Nicholas Rush was like one, giant, brain-damaging sudoku which when one thought to have all figured out changed all the variables, leaving them in no better position when they had started, but when an accident during exploration of the newest part of the ship has dire consequences for the scientist the rest will have to do their best to help the man they had all thought to be an emotionless bastard. [Chapter 1] [AO3] Drifting in nothingness, not knowing who or where he was, was a weird, if not unsettling feeling. He was a person, a male, a... husband? Or at least he had been, once. Not anymore. Or maybe?
He wished he could understand what was happening to him.
Nick. It's not real.
Wasn't it?
*
Colonel Everett Young swept his hand over his tired eyes, sighing as he lowered himself into the chair. Rush had been in and out of consciousness for the last couple of days, and one could only guess how he would act each time. It wasn't constant - and TJ couldn't explain what was happening to the man even if she wanted to. She was just as lost as the Colonel.
One could think that being stranded on an alien ship in a faraway and foreign galaxy was the worst thing that could happen to a person. Young could believe that it had been what everyone had thought, at least at first, but it seemed that with every passing day, the universe made its sole purpose of proving to them that they had been, in fact, very wrong. In the latest couple of days, the Colonel grew to realise that losing one's mind was, in fact, the worst thing that could happen - Not being left for dead on an unknown planet, experimented on by the aliens, nor losing someone who you had probably loved. No.
Watching Rush was painful, to say the least. When awake, he would either be confused, angry or scared. Young had seen how fear had looked like in the other man's eyes, but this time, it was eternally different. It was a deep and profound dread of not knowing who or where one was and so unfitting for Rush that it left Young deeply unsettled every time it had happened.
There had been days when the scientists didn't recognise any of them - not Young, not TJ, Eli, or even Chloe. The only person he would have vaguely responded and actively had searched for had been his wife, whom - at least to Colonel's knowledge - had been dead for quite some time, which was problematic on a whole different level. But now, as he watched Rush flinch in his sleep, Young didn't know which was worse - that or when the man woke up with no recognition at all.
"Get your hands off me!"
"What's going on? Stay the hell away!"
Everett could feel the chill going down his body at the memory of those empty and scared eyes, so unlike Rush's that they could belong to a different person.
"What's happening to me?"
He shook his head. It was a good thing that Rush lost consciousness even quicker after those episodes than the other ones. They were disturbing but rarer as time went by, and they still didn't know why.
It almost looked as if...
No.
"I'm doctor Nicholas Rush. I'm a math teacher, not a soldier or any of that stupid stuff, and I don't know any of you. Have you seen Gloria?"
Young swallowed. If Rush's brain was resetting itself, one could only hope it would come on the right track with time. But knowing their luck, it would be anything but that simple.
"Don't hit me!"
Young just hoped he would be wrong for all their sake.
"Um, I think I hit my head or something? I hate to be a bother..."
He sighed again and looked down at the time on his wristwatch. If the pattern had been any clue at all, Rush should be waking up in about three minutes. But would it be Rush or the man who Young didn't recognise at all?
*
TMI Tuesday
Hi, folks!
Last week was pretty hectic for me, mainly because of my nephew that I had to take care of and well, my next exam 2 weeks away now... I have a feeling it won’t get better xd
I’ve done some work on A Song That Never Ends and started a small one-shot with Thranduil from the Hobbit Movie!verse which will mainly be an angsty character study. I still don’t have a title for that, but considering I’ve been listening to Jenny of Oldstones on repeat while writing that it will probably be something from the song 😅
Haven’t touch Sudoku sadly, but I hope to write the end of chapter 2 on the train if I don’t fall asleep and reading to psychiatry won’t work...
Anyway, that’s how things stand. If you have any questions, either for me or the characters from my fics hit me up! I’ll happily answer any of them ;) The ask games from last week and 2 weeks ago are still a go too :) My askbox is HERE
My fics are HERE Take care!
Why, out of nowhere, was I hit with all movie!Thranduil feels and yearning to write a story with him? As if I didn’t get enough of angst with Rush seeing and talking to his dead wife, believing she’s still alive, now I want to write about Thranduil still suffering about the loss of his wife, too… (OK, maybe watching bts from Hobbit are partly to blame, and the fact that I’m still bitter that those 50s with Gandalf taking to Thranduil about the gems of Lasgalen…)
@peacehopeandrats, I blame you for stirring the angst goblin back to life and demanding a sacrifice :P
Um.. you’re welcome? I know only as much about this realm as there are seeds in a grape. Lol
The one thing I know with conviction is that the elk was a horse named Moose. I will never forget that, especially since @eirian-houpe went on about how ridiculous the whole thing was for him to have the beast in the first place.
Oh, and there’s a ring involved, but one can’t just walk it into… someplace.
You guys! Thranduil angst is glorious… it makes me want to get back to writing more of Laer o Faen… and yeah @peacehopeandrats that mount was ridic.
*screams incoherently while kicking open the door* You have Thranduil fanfic?! :D You can bet I’m gonna stalk it! I want to laugh every time I see that “elk” xD But I give credit when it's due and say that only Thranduil could still look majestic on that thing. If it was Elrond, I would probably roll into a ditch while laughing. “Behold. This is my battle elk that’s not really an elk.”
I must say that I love how they combined Thranduil with Thingol and the whole extra backstory they gave him. And the idea of digging into Thranduil’s head is enough of a temptation to dig more into it :D
Why, out of nowhere, was I hit with all movie!Thranduil feels and yearning to write a story with him? As if I didn’t get enough of angst with Rush seeing and talking to his dead wife, believing she’s still alive, now I want to write about Thranduil still suffering about the loss of his wife, too… (OK, maybe watching bts from Hobbit are partly to blame, and the fact that I’m still bitter that those 50s with Gandalf taking to Thranduil about the gems of Lasgalen…)
@peacehopeandrats, I blame you for stirring the angst goblin back to life and demanding a sacrifice :P
Um.. you’re welcome? I know only as much about this realm as there are seeds in a grape. Lol
The one thing I know with conviction is that the elk was a horse named Moose. I will never forget that, especially since @eirian-houpe went on about how ridiculous the whole thing was for him to have the beast in the first place.
Oh, and there’s a ring involved, but one can’t just walk it into… someplace.
That Elk was ridiculous, but he looked majestic on it, so I didn’t mind as much xD
Let’s say that Thranduil was ready to go to war with the dwarves because of the gems that they didn’t want to give back. And those gems were the only reminder of his late wife that had been killed hundreds of years ago. So I have a feeling the guy is still not over it at all 😅
So yeah, talking about the angst material, that’s just poking my brain xD
Why, out of nowhere, was I hit with all movie!Thranduil feels and yearning to write a story with him? As if I didn’t get enough of angst with Rush seeing and talking to his dead wife, believing she’s still alive, now I want to write about Thranduil still suffering about the loss of his wife, too... (OK, maybe watching bts from Hobbit are partly to blame, and the fact that I’m still bitter that those 50s with Gandalf taking to Thranduil about the gems of Lasgalen...)
@peacehopeandrats, I blame you for stirring the angst goblin back to life and demanding a sacrifice :P
How about your fic writers asks #50? Please.
Firstly thx for the ask! <3 And now, let's see: 50. If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? Angst, hands down - I don’t think that I’ve written anything that hadn’t got a least a sprinkle of it 😅 Maybe Silky Shirts and Warm Blankets? But I bet if I ever wrote a sequel to this, I would throw some angst in. There is just something in this genre (the same goes for hurt/comfort) that I can’t see myself not writing in it as I’m always drawn towards characters and situations that can be explored in that spectrum :D I love to write about emotional aspects, so its always about what the character was feeling in that particular moment, what was driving him, what was going on inside his head, and it usually ends up all angsty 😅 , But there needs to be some happy ending, though even if only bitter-sweet, it can’t be all doom and gloom ;)
You say that you’re resisting the urge to scrap and rewrite older, unfinished fics. Is this due to changes in your writing style, a change in where you want the story to go, or some other reason? How do you cope with the urge?
To prevent myself from scrapping I make sure I forget about whatever issue I have with the work. Sort of like Rumple, I work with thread. Keeping my hands busy while I have the computer read to me keeps me from making a note of what nonsense I created that needs changing.
My current series of stitching projects is not very well displayed here:
What I want to scrap is a bunch of stuff that doesn't make sense. Scenes that overlap and shouldn't, and places where I clearly took a break between writing sessions and was clumsy about returning to it.
The stitchings are soooo good *.* Do you plan to frame them, or will they stay just like they are now? I must say that the one with red wine gives me some serious Denethor vibes, I don't know why 😅
Haha.
I have been stitching my entire life and this series is the first that I have truly documented. I never thought to take pictures of my work, at least not until I was a Rumbeller.
These are kits that I bought. Counted cross stitch that came with thread and pattern, but I also make my own. Haven't done that in years though. Last two big projects before this set was a set of baby gifts for some friends in Austria. Regret never photographing those elves on toadstool or the mountain goats climbing the baby blocks.
I don't frame my work, usually because I am giving it to people who are taking it with them on a plane. No, I take that back, I did a wedding gift for friends of mine, a seashell wreath. That one I did frame because I drove it to their house.
These I would like a friend of mine to have. If she takes them I will probably mail them as is because they'd be going across the country to California. If she doesn't take them I'll just roll them up and store them somewhere.
As a person who has two left hands to this sort of things, I wouldn’t be able to even follow a drown out pattern, so I consider it a whole other league on its own ;D
You say that you’re resisting the urge to scrap and rewrite older, unfinished fics. Is this due to changes in your writing style, a change in where you want the story to go, or some other reason? How do you cope with the urge?
To prevent myself from scrapping I make sure I forget about whatever issue I have with the work. Sort of like Rumple, I work with thread. Keeping my hands busy while I have the computer read to me keeps me from making a note of what nonsense I created that needs changing.
My current series of stitching projects is not very well displayed here:
What I want to scrap is a bunch of stuff that doesn't make sense. Scenes that overlap and shouldn't, and places where I clearly took a break between writing sessions and was clumsy about returning to it.
The stitchings are soooo good *.* Do you plan to frame them, or will they stay just like they are now? I must say that the one with red wine gives me some serious Denethor vibes, I don't know why 😅
Fanfiction Writer Asks: 24, 27 & 28? :)
Thx for the ask, Nonnie :D Prepare for a long one!
24. How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?
That’s a complicated one. I think that my biggest problem is not wide enough vocabulary for that sort of thing. When I get to the moment where I know it’s just right to put a smutty scene, I grit my teeth almost every time because I see the scene, but describing it is a whole other affair xD The first smut I’ve written was for SnowWells in the Flash fandom, and oh boy, isn’t it cringy now when I read it 😅 I think that what helped to establish my approach to this kind of stuff was reading the Witcher - I just adore the way Sapkowski’s way to describe what is going on without outright telling :D The other problem of mine is that sex scenes as a whole are quite dynamic, and my obsessive self always caches myself that if they stayed in this or that kind of position for too long, someone would be really hurting. Or I’m writing and sudenly realise that I have no idea what a character is doing with their hands or legs - are they still where they were a moment before? Did they move them? Isn’t it awkward? Who knows xD I love describing kissing, though :) That’s why when I write, I focus more on foreplay than the actual act and then move to the emotional aspect and the “telling without telling” :D I quite like the way it works, and I hope it’s equally nice to read ;D I think that the first kind of scene in this style, with every aspect and all, was in ASTNE, but I might be mistaken ;D 27. Do you make a general outline for your stories, or do you just go with the flow?
It depends. Mostly I make it up as it goes, but I do get the general idea of where I want it to end. The Dried Rose was supposed to be a one-shot but ended up as a series :D The Last Petal was supposed to be maybe 4 chapters long, with Golds return and then reunion with his son after a time skip and look at it now - I think there are still at least 5 chapters left :D Granny’s husband and his gang weren’t in the original plan at all; the idea of Prentice and Gold working in his pawnshop poped to my mind when I wrote the line about Moe pawning his wife’s ring ;) In ASTNE, Lacey was supposed to be just Lacey, but then I decided to make her a false identity, so she’s still Lacey but also Belle. The final confrontation that is to come is also a little bit different than what I have imagined at first :d I mostly know more or less what I want the characters to do or what the main theme for a chapter will be, but how will everyone get to that point is a different story xD 28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?
Oh, I don’t know, maybe that it’ll become my main form of spending my free time but also a commitment on its own? :D That summaries are always important, and I’m still bad at coming up with them? xD It’s hard to think about something at the moment - I blame my headache for that 😅
Thx again for the ask; they’re always fun!
Fanfiction Writer Asks
Most of the writer ask posts I come across are only like ten or so questions long so I thought I’d try to make a longer one because we like talking about our writing! Feel free to reblog!
1) How old were you when you first starting writing fanfiction?
2) What fandoms do you write for and do you have a particular favourite if you write for more than one?
3) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.
4) What is your favourite genre to write for?
5) If you had to choose a favourite out of all of your multi chaptered stories, which would it be and why?
6) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?
7) When is your preferred time to write?
8) Where do you take your inspiration from?
9) In your xxx fic, what’s your favourite scene that you wrote?
10) In your xxx fic, why did you decide to end it like that? Did you have an alternative ending in mind?
11) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?
12) Who is your favourite character to write for? Why?
13) Who is your least favourite character to write for? Why?
14) How did you come up with the title for the xxx? - You can ask about multiple stories.
15) If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?
16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?
17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.
18) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?
19) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?
20) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?
21) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?
22) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?
23) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?
24) How do you feel about writing smutty scenes?
25) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?
26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write?
27) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?
28) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fanfiction?
29) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?
30) In contrast to 29 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at?
31) Send me a fic recommendation and I’ll post it for my followers to see! (The asker is to send the rec not the answerer)
32) Are any of your characters based on real people?
33) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?
34) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?
35) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?
36) Can you give us a spoiler for one of your WIP’s?
37) What’s the funniest story you’ve written?
38) If you could collab with any other writer on here, who would it be? (Perhaps this question will inspire some collabs!) If you’re shy, don’t tag the blog, just name it.
39) Do you prefer first, second or third person?
40) Do people know you write fanfiction?
41) What’s you favourite minor character you’ve written?
42) Song fic - What made you decide to use the song xxx for xxx.
43) Has anyone ever guessed the plot twist of one of your fics before you posted it?
44) What is the last line you wrote?
45) What spurs you on during the writing process?
46) I really loved your xxx fic. If you were ever to do a sequel, what do you think might happen in it?
47) Here’s a fic title - insert a made up title. What would this story be about?
48) What’s your favourite trope to write?
49) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?
50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?
TMI Tuesday
Hi, everyone!
It's Tuesday, and it means I'm here to answer all your burning questions if you have any ;)
The past week has been a little stressful - my exam from psychiatry is 3 weeks away, and I'm in a deep shithole as to my knowledge level. Like, the textbook is OK to just read it, but I want to burn it on a stake when it comes to learning from it. The graphic design is all over the place, and it's hard to pick which parts are important and which aren't. The fact that there just have to be names for every small thing isn't helping at all. The situation with covid in Poland doesn't help my anxiety, but well, one has to live with it, I guess.
I don't hold my hopes up for doing much during the next week - my sister is coming with my favourite four-year-old menace as the kindergartens are closed, and they have work, so I'll have to occupy the kiddo, between trying to learn and helping my mum with cooking xD But there is some good news!
I've almost finished the next chapter of Sudoku! (I should have up in a couple of days, I think). There is one last scene left to write, and I think the whole thing will close within 3, maybe 4 chapters total. I'm leaning towards 3, but if the next one ends too long, I may split it, so we'll see. You have no idea how relieved it makes me xD
I got 600 words for the next chapter of Until the Last Petal Falls. I didn't work much on it as Sudoku became a priority, but it's more or less planned out :D
I'll reblog some ask game later for anyone interested to play :D
Anyway, take care, all of you!
My askbox is HERE