[simperdie]

Okay but imagine a yandere Albert who doesn't have much sexual experience due to his focus on his job but he NEEDS to be sure he won't make a fool of himself when he finally has you under him, so he spends a few months having (carefully vetted) one night stands to perfect his technique

[simperdie]

Albert Wesker is the type to fuck you in public, cum inside, and immediately pull your pants up so he doesn't have to deal with the mess

[simperdie]

I have fallen for the "Albert doesn't like music with lyrics" propaganda but I do think if he was in a relationship he would force himself to listen to your favorite songs at least once so he could examine the lyrics and themes

[simperdie]

I hc that Eddie likes to handle most of the chores around the house (more like insists on doing them, really), but every once in a while he'll ask you to do something for him when he just can't get to it that day (ignore the tinge of red in his cheeks and the way he avoids your gaze while he asks if you could please, please do the dishes for him because he's just sooo busy).

You agree of course, even wearing the frilly apron he handed you- but you never manage to actually finish whatever task he's given you that day. The sight of his wife taking care of his home is everything he’s ever wanted, and he immediately gets so hard he feels lightheaded. He can't even hold back long enough to get you to your bedroom, fucking you against the nearest surface and praising you endlessly even if you only washed a single dish before he dragged you away. He makes sure you can't don’t lift a finger for the rest of the week

[simperdie]

Albert will never see you as an equal, but if he's in an actual honest to god relationship with you that's a sure sign that he at least sees you as above every other human on the planet. It doesn't even matter if you very clearly.. aren't, he's a master at twisting every one of your imperfections into a positive trait (he has to convince himself that there's some kind of tangible advantage to being with you beyond feelings, because if there isn't then he has to admit that he just loves you)

[simperdie]

I saw a glitch once where an ex pop attacked the player at the last second before the shuttle gate closed and he ended up in the shuttle with them for a second, and I can't stop thinking about how fucking scary that would be if you were a reagent !!! Like imagine one of the PAs dives at you at the last second and you get locked in the gate with them for a few moments, bodies pressed uncomfortably close, before you both tumble into the shuttle- such a small space, and absolutely nowhere to hide

How long do you think you'd be locked in there with them before Murkoff managed to separate you? You'd probably get all the way back to the sleep room before anyone even realized what happened- and the doctors definitely wouldn't be thinking of your safety while trying to coax the PA out of the shuttle !! Honestly they'd probably be glad you're trapped in there too, something to keep the Prime Asset busy so they don't destroy anything important-

Just,, thinking about getting fucked into the blood stained floor, so loud everyone outside the shuttle can hear it, and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it....... I think Ihauve covid

[simperdie]

Albert Wesker who thinks he's pretending to be in a loving relationship with you to get what he wants but he ends up just... being in a loving relationship with you. He started his flirtations with every intention of manipulating you for his own purposes, but you manage to distract him enough to forget his original plan every time he speaks with you - eventually he wakes up in your shared bed after ten years of marriage and realizes he can't even remember what he was trying to use you for in the first place

[simperdie]

Expanding on this a little because I'm still thinking about it- I feel like the only reason this even happens is because he thinks there's absolutely no way it could happen to him. He's above things like "romantic interest" and "lust", so that can't be what he's feeling for you- he just needs to study you a liiiiittle more, then he'll have it all figured out and he can move on to getting what he needs from you. Yes, he'll get that information/object/satisfaction he initially approached you for and be on his merry way.... after just one more date

[simperdie]

I am a brat tamer Victor Gideon believer 100% but I don't think he dislikes being with someone who does their best to follow his every command to the letter. I mean he's definitely going to start making up reasons to punish you if you go too long without messing up but that's just part of the fun-

[simperdie]

Albert Wesker who thinks he's pretending to be in a loving relationship with you to get what he wants but he ends up just... being in a loving relationship with you. He started his flirtations with every intention of manipulating you for his own purposes, but you manage to distract him enough to forget his original plan every time he speaks with you - eventually he wakes up in your shared bed after ten years of marriage and realizes he can't even remember what he was trying to use you for in the first place

[simperdie]

Autistic Albert Wesker is so so dear to me,,,

[strawberisapphic]

everyone has a ship thats just: theyre perfect. they hate each other. theyre married. they havent spoken in 15 years. they have date nights three times a week. theyre divorced. theyre pining, its unrequited. its requited. theyre starcrossed. theyre meant to be. theyre doomed by the narrative. they love each other. theyve never held hands. they wont stop making out at parties. they cant look each other in the eye

[simperdie]

AND IF I SAID STANARRATOR

[simperdie]

I think Albert pretends that his favorite candy is super dark bitter chocolate or licorice or something but every once in a while he lets himself have a swedish fish

[maryawrites]

If anything I’m sorry we didn’t get to see Eddie force-bathing anyone like I am 100% sure he’d do. He might waterboard you the slightest bit but goddamnit you’re walking away sparkling

[simperdie]

YEEEESSSS YES YES YES

[simperdie]

Victor Gideon and Dr Easterman of course of course but have we considered,, Zeno and Jeremy Blaire ????

[simperdie]

SPOILERS for the new Trials trailer

Seeing the way the new victim follows Coyle around in the trailer and how Coyle and Easterman were talking about if you love someone you let them go so they can crawl back to you,,,

1. Hot, I've covered this

2. It's making me imagine a trial where the victim isn't tied down somewhere and instead runs from the reagents and towards the Prime Asset knowing they'll be safer with them,,,,

[simperdie]

Victor knows you're together before you do

[simperdie]

Comparing hand sizes with Victor,,,,, oouuuugghh

His hands are massive and rough, maybe a little cold- you trace the lines on his palm and the deep cracks leading up his wrist and he nearly shivers. He makes a couple of low comments about the size difference between you, his hypnotic voice distracting you as he slowly reverses your positions until he's the one holding your hand, exploring the softer texture and any marks he finds. Before you know it he's demonstrating how just one of his hands fits around both of your wrists and oh look now you can't move :)