NAMASTA @simplicity2222 - Tumblr Blog

10/24/25.

I keep thinking about when you asked about Steve and shared your feelings. I was honestly surprised by how perceptive you were — I never realized that anything I felt had shown through or that you could sense it.

I’m sorry that we weren’t truthful about actually being married. Looking back on what you said, you were right — Steve does build me up in loving way with his written words and messages. In the beginning, meeting at hotels , we were both all about you as amazing as that is ..

I want to thank you for validating me without me even having to explain myself — for just listening. Especially about what happened at Hedo with my friend I thought was my ride-or-die. I guess she’s not when she’s drinking. She has every right to be upset, but the way she handled it felt like such a betrayal. It’s left a painful heaviness in my heart, and I feel foolish for trusting her so deeply.

But with you, I never had to think about whether I could trust you. Somehow you already see me — even the scared parts I try to hide behind my tough exterior. It’s eerie, in a good way, how you see through that “badass” persona I project.

I appreciate you — deeply, and on so many levels.

Sept 24 , 2025

I need to understand what your expectations and desires are going to be in Jamaica.

When I came back from Maui, I tried to keep reality in focus so we could really enjoy our time together. But in the last few days, your irritation with me has surfaced again, and I’ve heard the words you’ve spoken in anger. Those words made it clear that what I’ve been holding onto—the idea of us being fully devoted to one another—may not be how you see things.

I’m starting to accept that maybe I’ve been living in a fantasy, while you feel differently. I know you’ve said some promises were simply things you thought I wanted to hear, especially in the passion of the bedroom. That realization is confusing and painful for me, and honestly, I’m scared.

I’m not sure I’m ready to share you, even as I try to release the idea of “forever” that I thought we both wanted. That’s why I need a clear vision from you of what you expect from our relationship—especially on this trip. I’m not asking to push or argue; I’m asking so I won’t be blindsided or hurt if irritation turns into anger while we’re in Jamaica.

I want us to enjoy the time, and knowing what you truly want will help me approach it with open eyes and fewer misunderstandings.

We haven’t even discussed that fact that Kathy and Eric are under the impression that we are full swao since you have been playing with Kathy and I this year.

Please kindly respond with a clear honest vision of your expectations

Thank you

Jeannie

#Youtube

I just drove to Steve’s - I am so tired - Under My right rib is painful - its feels swallowen. It hurts to breathe

I googled under right rib hurts And is swollen after being grabbed and lift then thrown

Says it probably a muscle tear

A couple years ago He did the same thing before while we were making love and I was on top of and he thought i wasnt in to it - but that time he throw me into wall under the TV

Well now thinking there was a few more - Either way The Kat time I was concern because i have a cyst in my spleen.

I just took a muscle relaxer and hopefully that helps -

By the way he never paid 50/50 for the medical bills either . Never apologized for any of it - he sats I deserved it

He turns into this unbelievable monster - It fucks with head.

I took 1 car load out today - Tomorrow I am taking another -

Coming back from Jamaica - I plan to be gone with in a week . I am just leaving and not telling him .

I accepted his x wife and family come first . I accepted that I can’t dive with him because his co partners don’t want woman in the boat . I have accepted a way of living in a home that I never lived in. I have accepted he is not romantic or would never do a grand jester no less a little one besides eating my pussy . ( Which in my opinion , his talent has gone down ) i have accepted that he feels I am day by day. ( his words )

But now I am done with being blind sided by him -

I will NOT accept him abandoning me over silly ass shit . Okay get upset and need your space , but you still show love - with a hug and say “things will be okay I just need space “.

Instead he tears me down and says how awful I am -

Then I up all night , thinking how can someone I love and he says he loves me say such horrible things about my persona .

I want a normal relationship with normal problems -

I would love to have someone to love that loves me just as much . Shows some chilvary ( it actual turns me on )

I have officially given up on Steve ever truly being the man he proclaims he is . He says he my husband - but a husband doesn’t torture his wife for 3 days for misunderstanding a text she sent about time -

Sorry I just needed to vent to you - reassurance on giving me strength to break away from Steve being my trauma something ( i forget what the therapists call it ). Because I met Steve, Omg ironically because I needed to feel loved

After I lost my whole blood line and my baby sister murder. well my Mom was still alive and Michael my husband was in hospice So I found Steve at the tail end

He was my protector - he made sure we met once a week. - things he gave up sometimes for that was wowing . He would ravation my body and make love to me passionately for hours

Fast fwd to the last few years. If zi ask for him to racation my body - do a few position we used to do in the first year - he gets pissed and says I am being demanding - then gets whiny saying sorry i am not good enough - So i haven’t asked in years

He still defends that what I wrote says I will be home in 45 mins . He is never wrong - if I just apologies for everything , usually he goes back to nice Steve .

I am proud of myself - that I did come here so he didn’t have something else to whine about . Told him I am tired. -

Wrapped my ribs - icing it now ( along with my toe)

He is in the office doing stuff on his computer .

Praying this pill kicks in so i don’t have to deal with him later .

—

Stupid question, but where were you?

He made me go to t mobile , because my phone is on its last leg . I wanted to wait till after Jamaica since it’s just my personal phone . Ill probably use the business phone more because of the camera quality . I am still trying to get that one set up -

Ie 6 hours on 09/08 when I couldn’t get Kellys party pictures to text , email , even dropbox .

I arrived to T mobile just before 1 on Sunday . I really didn’t want to be there . All I could do was order a phone that will be shipped to me next month after it’s off back order

Either way , In my mind I was being a good obient wife and keep him pleased

Wrong

—-

The first

Magical dream

There we were, standing barefoot on the warm beach, the sun glistening against my skin. From my view, I watched you peel off your shirt, revealing that beautiful, irresistible chest. We stepped into the ocean together, adjusting our snorkel gear as the tide rolled in.

The water was a little murky, but the magic of Hawaiʻi never failed—bright tropical fish darted around us, including the humuhumunukunukuapuaʻa, shimmering beneath the waves. Then you spotted a turtle and called me over. We swam hand in hand, following it through streams of golden sunlight filtering into the water.

You suddenly stopped, pulled me against your chest, and kissed me with such passion that the world melted away. Your eyes shimmered with layers of color as we stared into each other, my heart racing as you held me closer. In that embrace, as you slid inside me, we were swept into pure paradise—making love in the rhythm of the ocean itself.

The feelings rushing through me were beyond words—waves of pleasure that left me trembling as you explored every part of me, sending me spiraling into release again and again.

How could something so perfect be real? From the night we first met under the rain in Haʻikū, to this moment making love in the waters of Lāhainā, our connection has only deepened.

And still—I wanted more. I longed for the moments to come in Kihei, to lose myself in your touch again, to stay forever in the shelter of your embrace, where tenderness, passion, and chivalry meet. In your arms, is paradise !

“Once in Kīhei, you revealed even more of your soul to me. With you, everything felt easy—open, unfiltered, without a trace of judgment. We spent the night lost in rhythm, our bodies dancing and colliding, breaking only for showers before returning to the heat—hot, sticky, and sweet with passion.”

“I awoke craving you all over again. The sunrise kissed my skin, but the only energy I felt was the fire you had left inside me. As reality tried to pull me away, I longed for just five more minutes of sleep so I didn’t have to leave this dream—five more breaths, five more touches, five more waves of passion with you.”

“Mahalo—more than you will ever know. You are my dream of a safe haven, where I can be raw and sensual without fear. No armor. No hardened ‘badass lady’ holding it all in. No pressure. Just freedom. Just ease. Just pure, effortless ecstasy.”

My birthday wishes - because I am just a fool

1. Your kind words

When you reassure me after you’ve raised your voice, it lets me know you’ll stop and choose love instead. I want to feel you as my pillar—someone who holds me for life without judgment, someone who can always see the bigger picture of us.

2. Both of Us

I will embrace the times when you bark, if you can embrace my plea not to be spoken to that way.

I will accept that sometimes you may bark, and I ask you to accept my reaction in saying “please don’t talk to me that way.” Together, let’s treasure us—because our trust is precious, and protecting it is the most important thing we can do.

3. Support

It would mean so much if you encouraged me with my ACLA application, helping me with patience and positivity. Your support gives me courage, and it makes me feel like we’re a team facing life together.

4. Acceptance

Please accept me as I am. When you’re irritated, I hope you won’t put me down or treat me as your opponent. And when I ask for a little more love, I hope you’ll see it as an honor—because in those moments I am turning to you, choosing you, trusting you with my heart and needs. Those moments aren’t about the way you are treating me , it’s about me and the battles I face outside of us .

3 days later. ( text )

——-

————-

Pulling teeth

I

My birthday wishes

1. Your kind words

When you reassure me after you’ve raised your voice, it lets me know you’ll stop and choose love instead. I want to feel you as my pillar—someone who holds me for life without judgment, someone who can always see the bigger picture of us.

2. Both of Us

I will embrace the times when you bark, if you can embrace my plea not to be spoken to that way.

I will accept that sometimes you may bark, and I ask you to accept my reaction in saying “please don’t talk to me that way.” Together, let’s treasure us—because our trust is precious, and protecting it is the most important thing we can do.

3. Support

It would mean so much if you encouraged me with my ACLA application, helping me with patience and positivity. Your support gives me courage, and it makes me feel like we’re a team facing life together.

4. Acceptance

Please accept me as I am. When you’re irritated, I hope you won’t put me down or treat me as your opponent. And when I ask for a little more love, I hope you’ll see it as an honor—because in those moments I am turning to you, choosing you, trusting you with my heart and needs. Those moments aren’t about the way you are treating me , it’s about me and the battles I face outside of us .

You wanna know what all that brass on my wall looked like before it meant me ?

#Youtube

This is my perspective-

I felt myself falling, and it was a serene, peaceful experience. Suddenly, I caught sight of a beautiful woman—not Ruby—bathed in beams of sunlight. A thought crossed my mind: She is here to help me; I should go back up. In that moment, a knot of embarrassment twisted in the pit of my stomach. Yet, almost instantly, I was enveloped by a profound sense of love and protection. I don’t remember much , just coughing up water - which was very odd it was like throwing up that mucus when your sick , but gushing water . Then I was in the second dive deck on my side . Then laying in my bunk being woken up to not sleep or lay down incase of secondary drowning. ( Which made me cranky ). I sat there in the floor for the 3 hour ride back , i actually started crying ( yes with those eyelashes). Made my eye red . I had that lonely feeling again . i wish I could fall into someone arms and feel protected. I wish I had someone . When the boat docked , I sucked it up as I usually do and put on my mask and made it off the boat with my stuff. The good news is the crew put ask my stuff in one area ready to go in my bag .

In the car , I attempted to drive , but it took me about 2 hour’s to find the right freeway .

Others view

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Eye witness Cindi

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

Yesterday I didn’t dive with CWD , even though we were diving the position of P38 that I researched a couple of years ago . They didn’t find it , survey with lines was impossible with the new stringy kelp. But they found bullets

Watched the movie Last Breathe tonight I liked the documentary better

I felt myself falling, and it was a serene, peaceful experience. Suddenly, I caught sight of a beautiful woman—not Ruby—bathed in beams of sunlight. A thought crossed my mind: She is here to help me; I should go back up. In that moment, a knot of embarrassment twisted in the pit of my stomach. Yet, almost instantly, I was enveloped by a profound sense of love and protection.

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