morally ambiguous heroes

a bunch of losers playing d&d or alternatively, a bunch of morally ambiguous people and a priest fucking shit up

[tieflinglich]

[mediumsizedboy]

Any elder gods out there looking to trade mystic powers in exchange for loyal service in the physical planes? Asking for a friend

[rafawriter]

Wizards of the Coast is releasing an official app to support your D&D campaign

Stacks of papers are a staple at any regular Dungeons & Dragons game, but Wizards of the Coast is finally offering a digital client to help gamers manage their characters. Today at PAX East, the c...

[hoiist]

@lazyninjartist

[lightandwinged]

@irritatedhiss

[aliflux]

Y’all. Y’all. D&D Beyond is also a website, no smart phone required. It’s also in beta, right now.

I am using the shit out of the compendium to bone up on my 5th edition knowledge, I’ve seen it evolve and get better, it’s fuckin sweet.

Homebrew help? It’s gonna fuckin be there dudes. It’s phase 3 but it’s guaranteed, you can see it on the main page.

It’s gonna have a fucking character builder/character sheet. This shit is transferable between devices, just log in and go.

Best part though: D&D Beyond? Open beta, no money, no limited selection. You’re in, just fuckin sign up. Do it. They’ve got a forum set up to give you a voice in what should or should not be done.

Go, help WC build the best resource for D&D to ever exist.

[grimeclown]

necromancy? u mean recycling

[grimeclown]

look b*tch if youre just sitting n rotting in your familys 10th century crypt and im fighting off giant spiders with nothing but my wits and a shortsword you dont need your bones for anything but i sure do so whats the problem

[sinbindnd]

every dnd game

dm: alright, so here's a situation with a choice, and i cannot emphasize enough that there might be huge consequences in your decision

almost every other player: ok, can we like.. investigate... i dont want to jump int-

That One Player: I DO THE THING

[queenqueso]

To the person who put this together, BLESS YOU

[dungeonsdonuts-deactivated20200]

This is quite possibly the best and most complete 5e D&D reference set ever. The concise info design on this is amazing!

[sinbindnd]

quotes 20170309

The only way I’m going to hell is if you go first!

I forgot I started biblically insulting you last time.

Oh Ivel, cry me a river. I’ll cry you a fucking coffin.

EAT MY ASS

[sinbindnd]

tfw you get stingy pt. 5 & 6

After trying to steal from a general goods store and nearly getting drowned, the party is wandering through the jungle.

They found the temple, but there was a magical barrier keeping them out. They found out a pedestal that had an inscription, mentioning a sword of destiny in the elven settlement. The party headed there and found the Keeper of the Sword.

The Keeper was an extreme hoarder, but Ivel found it by pure luck. Rushing back, they returned to the temple to confront the God.

They had an epic battle where Ivel stole the show; wielding the Sword of Destiny he leapt up and put the sword through the Warrior God’s head as a final blow, shouting the words EAT MY ASS. Sadly enough this epic display also took a bit of his life force.

They freed Aesthetic, who was imprisoned there, before going to the Temple’s vault where they found money and various artefacts with their name on it.

They returned to the mainland after, finding that the Regent was overthrown, the Prince had ascended the throne, and their dog and horses in good health.

THE END

[neonprotagonist]

New form of joke: telling someone to roll an ability check for something that obviously doesn’t need that type of check

[neonprotagonist]

“I wanna see if this dead body is anyone we recognize” “Roll an acrobatics check”

[sinbindnd]

tfw u are stingy and u get cursed pt 4

our heroes(?) helped capture a navy ship and then paid the captain 15 gold and an egg for it. they called it the friendship. pirate captain stone egged ival.

the crew arrived at polemos, the warrior city. they went to the tavern after talking to a random commoner who was a stickler for grammar.

they talked to a handsome adventurer who told them that the temple was four days north.

then they talked to a grump man who didn’t give them much information.

then they talked to a goth hivemind cult who stole an idol after telling them about an elven settlement on the island that didn’t like them.

and then they talked to a mysterious stranger, wearing a metal mask. this stranger brought them drinks and answered their questions. they learned that the elven settlement was six days north, that they were infamous in chrysofos after their escapade at the palace. then they started asking them personal questions, guessing that this was somebody from the city they started out in

[sinbindnd]

quotes 110117

“I want to ship” “You bourgeoisie fuck”

“how about instead of paying, I pay you with how high I can stick my leggy in the air”

“that’s nearly all my gold, can anyone spot me?” “[points at ival] there you are”

“inside this soul is my egg”

“bitch, you didn’t bring that up” “I did you just weren’t listening” “you weren’t relevant enough to be listening for”

“will you be nameless? How will we find you in a crowd?” “don’t”

“I will trade other bodily fluids” “uh….” “I will cry”

“I think im cursed because im this beautiful and someone threw an egg at me”

[sinbindnd]

tfw u are stingy and u get cursed pt 3

this time the crew got to talk to Fennec in his incredibly lavish room, where he told them about that every hundred years or so there’s a Red Moon and the warrior god and his challenger have a rematch.

He also gave them a trinket to gain safe passage from a pirate captain.

And roundhouse kicked Gnipper for sitting on his bed, so that was fun.

After a night in the tavern they went to the harbour where they talked to the pirate Captain and to the Navy Admiral. They decided to go with the Admiral.

After a party celebrating a win they got InterrogatedTM by the Admiral who’s got very strict values about morals and saving people trapped in rooms.

Gnipper and Ivel got marooned, and the others had the chance to join them or not. Ruby tried to convince the Admiral not to do this by being a hysterical pregnant woman but failed. They all got marooned and out of pettiness tried to set the flagship of the Navy on fire.

After 8 days they got picked up by the pirate captain, only to be quickly attacked by other pirates.

[sinbindnd]

quotes 01112016

who is sending you all these gifts, friend? why was my first thought the pope

it’s always sunny in dnd: gnipper destroys the moon

wait they have meals why am i buying so much cheese

‘lets go talk to my pirate friends’ ‘i thought you said you had no pirate friends’ ‘well im going to make some ye bitch’

‘also my backup singer is a seal’

‘i have a question: what’s worse, murdering people or interrogating people during a party?’

‘so these two are gonna get marooned’ ‘PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME WITH HIM’

‘whatever gods there are, i’m gonna lick their asses’

‘of course i’m going to turn around, how else would i fuck the sand vagina’

[sinbindnd]

we can’t judge them for not having soap and smelling “@ libby”

he’s not an assassin, he’s an assman. he’s into butts. - just end yourself

he doesn’t like us, i pissed on him

“i can’t take you seriously whe you’re just waving a hammer around” “so you can take me seriously with elf ears and dots on my face?” “when do I ever take you seriously?”

he doesn’t have a sick mom, he doesn’t have a sick dad, he just has sick moves

[sinbindnd]

tfw u are stingy and u get cursed pt. 2

the crew talked to the Fennec for a brief moment. At first he was reluctant to talk but after convincing him they were sent by Persephone he became more talkative.

the Fennec talked about the war god’s cult and the challenger who potentially defeated him under the Red Moon. But before the Fennec could come to the conclusion of the story, four guards burst into the tavern to kill them and Gnipper almost died :(!!!!!!!!!

The group killed three of the guards and let the fourth one, who in his own stupidity stabbed himself in the foot, go.

The Fennec was impressed (and a little creeped out by Gnipper’s hand collection) and offered them access to his room, where it would be safer to tal.

[sinbindnd]

Seventh grade career aptitude test: You should be a Hermit Philosopher

[tangoproxy]

how to include Dungeons & Dragons on your resume

[space-age-babe]

@minter-is-coming