Maya Sunriviere was just trying to finish her last semester of high school and get the hell off this reservation. But when a man she barely knows lays some weird archaic claim on her, the tribal council steps in and tells her what her destiny will be. That won’t stop Maya from searching for another way out though.
Timeline: This story take place seven years after the events in Breaking Dawn.
Pairing: Paul Lahote x Original Quileute Female Character
Warnings/Tags: Sexual Content, Sexual Tension/Frustration, Jealousy, Controlling Behavior, Resolved Angst, Smut, Age Gap, Highschool/College, Original Characters, Giving Paul Lahote the Love He Deserves
Status: Ongoing
Find me here too: Ao3
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Chapters:
One—Get me out of here
Two—Tonight's alright for a bonfire
Three—The council meets on a Saturday
Four—Sunday blues
Five—Fortune favors the audacious
Six—Set out the welcome mat
Seven—Always take the candy
Eight—Strangers who already know your name
Nine—Crashing a party you were invited to
Ten—There's more than one way to sleep with your friends
Life is full of choices. Impossible ones. Easy ones. Choices with consequences more dire than what you realized. But that never stopped me from making them with my whole chest.
Paul left late the next morning citing a meeting somewhere up north with Jacob in Toronto. It was both a relief and filled Maya with a sense of dread as she tried to keep her face even when he kissed her goodbye for the fifth time in the brownstone’s foyer. When his hand grazed, then gripped her waist, she had to stop herself from flinching away.
And when the door finally shut behind him, Maya let out a long breath and closed her eyes tightly. There was no way. She was just stressed out, like last year, and must be recovering from that awful cold. It was just a stress response, it had to be. Still, Maya counted off the weeks since her last period over and over in her head. One, two, three, four, five, six, almost seven weeks. The number seven echoed in her mind as she fixed herself some oatmeal and then stared into the distance as she ate at the kitchen island.
Over the next few weeks, Maya practiced avoidance. She avoided Rosalie and Emmett as much as possible, which meant practically living in the library. She avoided Arden’s office, citing her ongoing cold that she wanted to shield him from until she was one hundred percent better, and instead had another TA ferry the papers needed from her hideout in the library, the coffee shop, anywhere else. Maya avoided friends and any sort of social engagement, bracing herself against the winter cold and opting instead to focus on her coursework and options for the summer for another internship.
But most of all, Maya avoided Paul, even though every waking moment she yearned for home, to see him, and smell him enveloping her. She avoided his calls, and only returned them when she knew he’d be out on rounds or in meetings per their shared calendar. She avoided lengthy texts and dodged questions about upcoming plans to see one another, swiftly changing the subject or ignoring it entirely.
The deprivation caused a different kind of ache to develop, almost a cramp in her sides and lower abdomen that had her nearly buckling over in pain on her way to the library once again, one icy February morning. Maya paused, her breath an icy fog in front of her as her nose dripped and eyes watered. Her heartbeat sped up and she felt every joint seem to light on fire at once and then quickly subside as she tried to get her bearings.
Each day was a bargain. Every morning a promise to herself that she’d wait just one more week, one more day, one more hour until she figured things out, or knew for sure what it was. She passed the campus clinic every day on her way to the library, the red signage like a bloody beacon begging her in. But still, she bargained.
She did not, however, avoid Becks or Keye. Instead, she kept her promise and refused to disappear on them. It was easy to avoid conversations about herself with Becks—she was juggling two babies—Ephriam and Novi—and keeping it about her and her day-to-day was no sweat.
Keye was a little harder to keep focused. Maya mostly talked about school, but she could feel in some small tense moments that Keye knew something was off. But she didn’t press it and Maya worked harder to stay light and positive in each new facetime. She assumed that’s why Paul wasn’t banging down her door because she was tangentially avoiding him—Becks was keeping him in the loop and he was practicing trust.
Maya almost felt bad about that.
She felt so much worse about the calls with her mother though. All thoughts about planning the wedding had left her mind with this new stress beating incessantly at the back of her head. Rish, for all her motherly goodness, did not seem to notice this new blooming anxiety in Maya however as she prattled on about colors, venues, and dress shopping. It was enough to just nod along, but it left her with a soft and sick feeling.
Her appointment with her gynecologist came and went without her putting in new birth control. She spent the hours tucked away in the library the week before the semester began, combing through reading and prepping for her upcoming classes. And just tried to keep breathing evenly.
Maya felt like a ghost, floating through campus, a hood up covering her head as she shivered against the biting January chill. Her limbs never felt warm, as if all the warmth was creeping inward protectively. She was so distracted on her way to the library that she didn’t even notice the arm that shot out and grabbed her’s, effectively stopping her in the middle of the quad.
“Maya?” the voice sounded muffled, as if it was underwater for a second. Maya’s gaze was glued to the hand on her cold arm. “Maya? Are you okay?” When she lifted her eyes, she was met with the warm, angled face of Arden. Fuck. She blinked a couple of times to clear away what she hoped was just the foggy look in her eyes before pasting on a hesitant smile.
“Arden, sorry, I didn’t see you.” her voice rasped on the end as if she hadn’t taken a drink of water in awhile. When was the last time she did, she wondered. Arden’s brow furrowed as he took her in quickly, scanning her from head to toe. Maya curled in on herself reflexively as her eyes darted to the side.
“Is everything okay? You missed the TA meeting and I thought—,” Arden sounded genuinely worried. Maya shook her head quickly and took a step away from him.
“Oh gosh, sorry. Yeah, I must have f-forgot. I’ve just been working in the library doing research and…” her voice trailed off, hoping that was sufficient enough of an answer. Arden didn’t seem convinced.
“Is something…has something happened?” Arden’s eyes darted around campus as if looking for someone. Maya’s eyes widened when she realized what he was alluding to.
“No! Oh, no, god no. I’m fine. Really. Just a little distracted. I’m fine. Paul and I are fine,” Maya nearly heard herself begging him to believe her and pulled back further. “I should get going. Sorry I missed the meeting. I’ll be at the next one. Promise!” She tried to give a more reassuring smile, but as she darted around him and hurried toward the library, she could feel his eyes on her back.
Maya closed her eyes as she briefly passed the health clinic this time on the way to the library.
“Hey babe. I finally caught you.” Paul’s warm timber sunk into her bones and made her shiver.
“Hey,” she breathed. Maya had finally answered one of his calls when she couldn’t bear not to hear his voice any longer. The ache abated almost instantly and it made her heart stutter briefly. She was still mildly irritated with the effect Paul had on nearly every part of her, but this time, the relief his voice brought was almost immediate and she couldn’t care to think about anything else.
“How are you?” he broached casually. Maya’s breath hitched and she looked off to the side. She was currently sandwiched between two rolling bookcases, deep in the library. As she pressed the phone harder against her ear she swallowed and nodded, trying to keep the tears from traveling to her voice as she said.
“Fine, yeah good. I just wanted to…” it was no use. She knew he’d hear her distress if she kept speaking. So she decided to try and change the subject. “Where are you?”
“Some roadside motel in Alaska. Jacob wanted us to keep a low profile while we try to scout some tracks.” Maya wrinkled her nose at that. She knew Paul was up north with Jacob off and on looking for something but she hadn’t bothered to ask.
“Do you know what you’re tracking?” Good. She sounded almost normal that time. Paul took a deep breath and Maya thought for a minute he wasn’t going to tell her. But then he said easily,
“Yeah. Another pack.”
Maya’s brows knit together in confusion, “Another pack? Like, a wolf pack?!”
“Yup. Jake has been trying to get in contact with them for the past year. He made brief contact after Novi was born by sheer accident but hasn’t been able to find them since. Quil might be our best bet. He’s got some distant family up here who might be able to tip us off in one direction or another, but Jake has wanted us to hide our presence as much as possible in case they’re spooked.” Maya’s mind was racing.
Why on earth would Jacob be looking for another pack? And how did she not even consider the fact that there may be more than just her tribe’s? A headache bloomed behind her eyes and she tried to will it away.
When she didn’t say anything further, she heard Paul’s voice echo, that faraway, underwater sound indicating that she had drifted away again, “My? You there?”
“Y-yeah, sorry. I…just didn’t realize,” she rubbed her forehead and licked her lips. That temporary relief Paul’s voice gave her each time he spoke abated quicker this time and she was desperate to clutch onto that warmth for just a bit longer.
“Maya?”
“Yeah?” she rubbed her cheeks realizing they were wet with tears.
“Baby, do you need me?” He said it so easily. And the obvious fact nearly made her knees buckle. She nodded her head violently, silently, before swallowing hard and saying:
“No. No, I’m fine. I’m just tired. This semester has been rough and it’s barely started. I’m okay, I promise,” she heard that begging tone creep into her voice again. Paul was quiet for a long time before he replied.
“I love you,” the words held the finality that signaled the end of a call.
“I love you,too.” she said quickly and hung up. When she bit down on her hand to help quell the tears, she knew there was nothing left to do now but the obvious.
For once, Maya called a cab. The snow had begun in earnest as she trekked across campus and she didn’t feel like walking or even taking the bus.
When she tucked into the backseat of the warmth and quiet of the cab, she let out a deep breath after giving the driver her address. He pulled out into the street and started driving carefully across the slick streets.
It had been less than twenty four hours since her call with Paul in the library, but every bit of stress felt washed anew. Maya laid her head back against the seat and closed her eyes, reliving the past hour of her life.
The doctor shut the door behind her and sat at the low stool in front of Maya as she perched on the exam table, her heart thudding loudly in her chest. The doctor gave her what she hoped was a reassuring smile, but it was as if Maya knew the words before she even opened her mouth.
Pregnant. She was, in fact, pregnant.
The doctor glanced down at the clipboard in her lap, rattling off some options but Maya heard none of them. That rushing sound filled her ears until she felt the cool hand of the doctor on her shoulder.
She was standing in front of her. When did she stand up?
“Take your time and come to the front when you’re ready. The nurse will have some paperwork you can take with you to mull everything over. Just let me know if you have any questions, okay?”
Maya felt herself nod and then, she was alone.
Well, almost.
She had looked down at her abdomen and just took several deep breaths. No tears came. No dread, or fear, or upset. Just relief.
Maybe that was the most surprising of all—the immense relief she felt at just knowing.
At some point Maya had gotten up, her legs numb from sitting up on the high exam table and wobbled uncertainty toward the front desk where the nurse gave her paperwork and pamphlets.
The sound of wet tires slowing to a stop in front of the towering brownstone brought Maya back to herself. That relief had stayed with her after she’d left the clinic, but as she paid the driver and ambled up the steps to unlock the front door, she was hit with a wave of exhaustion.
As the door clicked shut behind her in the low light of the foyer, she had only just stuffed the remaining paperwork she had desperately clutched on the drive over down into her bag before she heard that soft, reassuring voice that would find her in every life.
“Maya,” Paul stood next to the foot of the stairs that led upstairs to her room. Her mouth fell partially open as she took him in. He was actually here, dripping from the snow that had instantly melted as it met his too hot skin. His hands were shoved into the front pocket of his dark jeans and his black shirt did nothing to hide his broad, muscular frame.
Maya took three quick steps toward him, the tears already halfway down her cheeks as she crashed into his chest. His hands came up to rest on the back of her head as he leaned down to kiss the top of it. Maya gulped in air as she tried to quiet her sobs but she just couldn’t stop.
“It’s okay, My, I’m here,” he said softly.
For the first time since New Years Eve, she actually felt warm. That aching cold that plagued her limbs melted away instantly as she was enveloped by his warmth, his scent, everything.
Paul’s other hand rubbed against her back gently letting her take her time. It was a good ten minutes before she could pull her head away from his chest and gaze up at him without gasping through her tears. The relief pulsed in her like a new heartbeat.
“What are you doing here?” she breathed, unable to ask anything else. Paul’s gaze changed to studying her, his eyes darting around her face as if he was reading something new. It took everything in her not to dip her face away so he couldn’t see what she felt was written all over it now.
His hand crept to cup her cheek, the cold flush now infused with searing warmth from his hand.
“I needed to see you,” he said simply. “Our last conversation was…” he didn’t finish and Maya just nodded. “You look exhausted, babe.” Worry coated his eyes as he said it.
Maya nodded again, knowing if she spoke for too long, the truth would tumble out. She would tell him, eventually she knew she would, but right now, she just needed to sleep, preferably wrapped around him. Paul took his cue and picked her up under her knees and bridal-style carried her up the stairs to her room.
He undressed her carefully, found soft pajamas in her dresser and pulled them on her with ease. Maya was sobbing quietly, holding onto his biceps as she stepped into the long pajama bottoms he held out for her. He kissed the tears on her cheeks and pulled back the mess of covers for her so she could crawl in.
Paul wasn’t far behind her after he stripped down to his briefs and pulled her quickly into his arms as Maya cried until everything in her fell under to the sweet relief of sleep. All the while, Paul continued to whisper reassuring words against the top of her head.
Maya woke with a start and glanced around. The bed was empty and it took her a minute for things to come into focus. How long had she been out? The room was dark and void of sound except for the occasional cricket outsides. Crickets?
As the fog slowly cleared from her mind, she got out of bed, her feet touching the soft squishy bed of moss that sprawled out in every direction. Glancing toward the window, Maya realized that the moon was full, shining bright and eerie through her french doors that had pushed themselves open. A small, cold wind pushed around the white mist that hung just above the moss, causing it to curl and creep toward her as she padded quietly over to the balcony that lay beyond.
Maya swallowed thickly, a great unease growing in her stomach as she walked slowly toward the open double doors. As she looked around her dark bedroom, the damp smell of earth invaded her senses, and suddenly there were wide trunk evergreens and ferns growing around her armoir, her bed, and vanity. This forest was familiar, but it didn’t feel like the one from home. And still, that unease grew. It didn’t help that as she approached the doors, a deep rumbling became to sound throughout the forest.
When she dared to take a breath, her exhale came out in a fog around her. The tips of her toes touched the threshold of her balcony doors that now rested in the middle of the forest, and beyond it, it was simply pitch black. Maya squinted into the darkness as the rumbling grew louder from the other side, her breath coming much quicker now.
She knew she should be scared, and that something was coming. But she couldn’t find it in herself to run or let herself be afraid. The dark beyond the threshold of the door was beckoning her, a soft whisper pulling her closer to hear. And Maya wanted to know what it was saying.
Chills ran down her arms and legs, exposed to the drifting cold coming in through the doorway. The rumbling grew louder, as if the sound of great large feet pounded on the forest floor and were headed straight toward her. Still that sound beckoned her, knew her name even.
She took one step onto the threshold, a deep and sharp cold covering her foot as the sound grew:
‘Mayaaa, mayaaa, maya, maya-maya-maya-maya!’
“Maya!”
Strong, warm hands gripped around her stomach and pulled her back against a warm body. Maya’s eyes had shot open at the sudden warmth with a gasp and she began to pant, as if realizing she had been holding her breath.
She was standing in front of her balcony doors. They were pushed wide open to the cold wind and snow that had started to fall in the middle of the night. A single footprint in the thick snow just past the threshold of the double doors showed how far she had made it in her sleep. Paul gave her a moment to catch her breath, still holding her tightly to him, his hand absently rubbing across her belly and sides.
“You were sleepwalking,” he said, the concern evident in his voice. Maya closed her eyes a moment and rested her hand over his as it stilled on top of her stomach. “Has this been happening a lot?”
“I–,” her voice seemed to crack some then and Paul’s hands instinctively tightened on her. Maya was so tightly wound with the weight of everything that she thought she’d burst.
“Baby, please,” he was almost begging now, his lips coming to kiss the expanse of her shoulder, “What is it? What’s wro—”
“I’m pregnant,” she whispered. He’d heard her. His lips had stopped their journey toward her neck and she felt his body go stiff. His hands twitched ever so slightly against her stomach and the quiet was all of the sudden deafening. Maya focused on the snowflakes that started to fall gently onto her balcony. But he turned her slowly to face him, and cupped both of his hands on either side of her face and lifted it slowly up and up to look at him.
“You’re..” his words seemed stuck, a slight sheen of tears in his overwhelmingly hopeful eyes. Maya was trembling in his hold though and the immense weight of everything still sat heavy on her heart. He tried again: “You’re pregnant?”
Maya couldn’t hold it in any longer, a sob of relief broke from her throat as she nodded, tears streaming wetly down her cheeks. Paul still held her face in both of his hands as she frantically nodded. Just admitting it to him relieved the weight of that stress she had been carrying for weeks. She couldn’t see him clearly through the tears but she felt him start to tremble. Maya let her hands fall to his waist as he brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.
It felt like forever, the dam of stress breaking and washing relief through her body as she sobbed into his hands but when she could finally breathe, the sobs still hiccuping from her chest involuntarily, she saw him smiling around his own tears as he gazed down at her with so much love and concern.
“Really?” His voice was a deep well of emotion and it pulsed through her, filling her with warmth and relief. She nodded fervently again and managed to squeak out a barely audible,
“Yes.”
His lips pressed firmly to her mouth, his hands still cradling her face as bubbling laughter broke free from him.
“It’s going to be okay,” he murmured against her lips, his arms falling to wrap around her tightly. He pulled back just enough to meet her eyes, “It’s going to be okay. You’re okay,” Paul’s voice soothed.
Maya gulped down air trying to quell the tears that continued to fall in earnest, but it was no use. Everything she had been trying to hold together for the past month had broken open and there was nothing left to do but let it all spill out. And Paul was there to catch her.
He was always there to catch her.
Maya’s body shook against his as she continued to cry, letting each wave of relief his calming voice gave her seep deep into her bones. She sank further against his chest, letting herself relax as he swayed her gently from side to side.
“Everything’s going to be okay, My,” he whispered into her hair.
And it would be, wouldn’t it?
Maya woke up groggy the next morning. The light filtering in from the windows was low enough that she couldn’t really tell what time it was, but snow was still falling steadily outside. As she turned over, she let her hand automatically reach for Paul next to her, but he wasn’t there.
She sat up slowly, rubbing her eyes and looked toward her bedroom door where it sat partially open, a shadow walking back and forth slowly on the landing as he spoke in low tones.
He must be on the phone, she thought. He was speaking in a calm, quiet way that set her belly warming. Paul was here. And he said everything would be alright. And he knew now.
There was so much relief in him just knowing that she was pregnant. Was that normal?
Maya ran a hand through her disheveled hair and blew out a breath. Somehow telling him made it all the more real. She knew it would but now that relief started to be eaten away by the worry of what would come next.
Would he try to take her back to the rez? Would she essentially be put under house arrest? He had been getting so much better with giving her space and trusting her and their relationship despite the distance and now…this.
Maya looked down at her flat stomach and swallowed thickly. She heard the warm murmuring of Paul on the phone cease and the door creak open softly. As she looked up at him, she couldn’t help but gasp softly.
He always seemed to take her breath away, this beautiful man who had chosen her in so many ways outside of the imprint and now they were hurtling toward an all too certain and serious future. But still, Maya just felt relieved that he was here. He placed his phone in the backpocket of his jeans as he walked slowly toward her and sat on the bed.
Maya smiled softly as he reached out and touched her cheek, letting his thumb swipe back and forth across her jaw for a moment before letting it fall to the bed.
“How are you feeling?” his voice was gruff and sleepy. Maya nodded and said just as softly,
“Good. How are you?” she paused and then, “Feeling, I mean.” She unnecessarily clarified. He was watching her intently as if one wrong move and she would flee like a startled doe.
But Maya had never felt more solid under his wary gaze.
“Good,” he said. And then, a smile like the New York City sunrise broke over his face as he looked down at the bed, sheepish even, and let out a warm chuckle, “Really, really good.”
When he looked back up, Maya was smiling wide now and nodded her reassurance. He let himself soak in that joy for a few more seconds before schooling his face into one of serious reassurance and said, “My, look, I know this is bad timing and I’m not asking you to decide anything, but I—”
“Paul,” she cut him off, reaching across the mattress to place her hand on his. “It’s okay. This is good.” He watched her again carefully and then let loose a long sigh before collapsing fully on the bed staring up at the ceiling. And then, he just started laughing.
The sound filled Maya up, causing butterflies to fill in her stomach and run goosebumps down her arms. He was happy and that realization filled Maya with so much joy she thought she’d burst.
Maya’s smile stretched wider as she laughed softly shaking her head as he wiped an errant tear from his eye and took a deep breath, settling his laughter after a couple of minutes.
“Fuck,” he breathed out softly, turning his head on the bed to look at her to make sure she hadn’t disappeared on him.
“Fuck is right,” Maya sighed, not quite letting go of her smile. She was terrified, she couldn’t negate that fact as it bubbled somewhere beneath the surface, but right now, that worry was smoothed over with the salve of Paul’s joy.
“Can we talk about it now?” he said slowly. Maya took a deep breath and leaned up against the headboard, nodding her head and running a hand through her disheveled hair. Paul leaned up on his elbow and set his other hand on her exposed thigh, stroking gently.
“Yeah, let’s talk,” she said with some finality in her voice.
“Have you been to the doctor yet?” Paul’s tone was gentle, so gentle. And Maya knew he was treading carefully.
“Not yet, no. I had it confirmed at the campus clinic, but…nothing officially looked at,” she looked down at her stomach and raised her eyebrow.
“Can I come with you, then?” Maya looked up quickly, her face filled with loving surprise. He seemed unsure.
“Of course. Yes, I want you there,” she replied earnestly. He had to know she wanted him there. Here and now and into their future. “I’ll call today and see about getting something scheduled this week.” Maya reached for her phone and then paused to look at him. “You’ll be here this week, right?” Now it was her turn to be uncertain.
“Yeah, I’m not going anywhere,” he responded quickly. They were trading reassurances and something about that made Maya glow.
“Good,” she opened her phone and checked her calendar briefly before setting it in her lap to look at him again. “I’m not going back to the rez until the end of the semester.” She needed to say it now, before he got any ideas.
She saw his jaw tick with tension but he nodded, “Of course. I won’t make you leave, but I need to stay here with you. We can go back together when the semester is over.”
“Right,” she nodded and felt a flush of relief. At least that felt good. “What about pack duties? Won’t Jacob need you?”
“He can deal for awhile. And he’ll understand,” Paul said firmly, “When we decide to tell him, that is.” That made Maya smile. It felt like he was choosing her all over again. She tried to hide the blush that came over her cheeks and then took another deep, steadying breath.
“Wait, who were you on the phone with just now?” her curious gaze followed his as he looked toward her open bedroom door for a moment.
“Rosalie,” he said with not much regret in his voice as he normally held for her, “She and Emmett are on their way back to keep you company while I take care of something up north for a couple days.” His tone was casual, but he seemed anything but. The tension holding onto his body made Maya’s pulse tick with worry.
“I thought you were staying here,” Maya let out a laugh of surprise and couldn’t help placing a hand over her stomach. Paul’s eyes zeroed in on the movement and stared at her hand for a half second longer than he probably meant to before looking back up at her. She let her hand drop to her side as she stared at him.
“I won’t be gone very long and it’s something that needs to be done. Don’t worry, I won’t miss anything,” he promised. Maya made to stand but he grabbed her wrist and tugged her toward him. Maya crawled toward him up on her knees and braced her hands on his broad shoulders.
She leaned down to place a soft kiss to his lips and he wrapped his arm around her pulling her closer, sitting up and making her straddle him across his lap. When he finally broke free from the kiss, Maya took a deep breath. He was smiling that crazy affectionate smile at her again and it made something tighten sweetly in her belly.
“Pregnant, huh?” he said in a low tone, his warm breath fanning across her face.
Maya rolled her eyes playfully and he tightened his arm around her, “Yeah, how’d that happen, I wonder?” she teased.
“I didn’t mean to,” he chuckled, shaking his head and brushing the tip of his nose against hers.
“Uh huh,” her tone dripped with sarcasm.
“I am happy though,” his lips brushed ever so lightly across her own, teasing her, making her start to feel so very warm at the apex of her thighs.
“I am too,” Maya replied after a moment.
“Are you?” he asked with that same edge of uncertainty in his voice. Maya rolled her hips against his and he let out a groan. When she just nodded, he nipped at her lower lip and said in that warm, gravelly voice that sent sparks shooting down her spine, “Show me how happy you are then.”
His lips were on her throat, sucking and nibbling making Maya squirm on his lap. She tipped her head back to give him more access and let loose a self-satisfying moan that she felt vibrate the skin of her throat against his warm lips.
Paul’s hands gripped her waist tightly under her sleep shirt, trailing kisses down her collarbone and back up her throat. She could already feel how hard he was beneath her and she rolled her hips again seeking friction against him. Maya’s hands coasted down his chest and pulled up his shirt over his head quickly before diving toward him. He fell back onto the bed, taking her with him as she sat on top of him.
There wasn’t much left to remove between them and in a flurry of quick movement and a rustling of sheets, Maya was suddenly naked atop him and lowered herself slowly onto him, tipping her head back in a moan of relief.
There was no more avoidance, no need to keep anything hidden. She felt blown wide open with the realization that they—she—was pregnant. Her whole life had changed in a matter of years and all that mattered now was having Paul with her in this moment.
She looked down at his face, open and vulnerable in his own relief and exaltation. Their eyes connected and that familiar anchoring feeling that she knew was the imprint cinched inside her. Maya braced her palms on his bare chest as she rocked herself up and down his length, panting and reveling in the thrill of connection between them.
The unknown used to terrify Maya, and in some ways it still did. But right now, this made sense and she was going to chase that feeling to help keep her afloat these next seven months and beyond.
Paul gripped her hips in his hand, rolling his hips up to meet hers firmly as a groan of appreciation spilled from him. Maya leaned down to connect their mouths in a soft and heady kiss letting the morning take them in in all it’s slowness and quiet.
Maya shuffled precariously on the icy sidewalk, Paul’s hand gripping hers, as they made their way toward the OBGYN’s office. Carlisle had recommended them and made sure Maya was able to see them within just a few days of Paul returning from his “last” excursion up north in search of the elusive pack he and Jacob had been tracking for months.
Maya hadn’t even tried to ask any more questions around that little sidequest, she was too engrossed in her world tilting and shifting as she came to grips with her new reality. It didn’t help that Rosalie had been a flurry of excited activity in the house since Paul had let them know the other morning. With all of the attention and talks and excitement brewing in their townhome, Maya was happy to have a moment’s reprieve alone with Paul, as they made their way to their ultrasound appointment.
The office was extravagantly comfortable and although Maya had long ago given up on feeling out of place when being taken care of by the Cullens, or Paul for that matter, she was still nervous when the well dressed (and frankly well rested) nurse guided her and Paul back to their private examination suite.
The whole experience felt more like a trip to the spa than anything, wrapped in a soft terry cloth robe, on top of a warming medical bed that smelled like a calming blend of eucalyptus and rosemary.
Her doctor—Dr. Franklin—was overwhelming kind and talked her through everything as she ran some diagnostics, completed her exam and slowly set up the ultrasound machine. Paul was determinedly asking his own questions, his brow furrowed as if he was taking notes to every answer he was given. Things like: “When will she experience morning sickness? What can I do to make her more comfortable? Are there therapies that we should be considering or treatments that will help her body transition more comfortably as she progresses?”
Some of the questions truly had Maya floored. What did Paul know about imprint pregnancies that she didn’t just yet? She’d have to ask Becks.
Becks. And Keye. Fuck. Maya needed to tell them and soon. She and Paul weren’t planning on returning to La Push until spring break, which wasn’t until the end of March. But there was no way she could go that long without telling them what was up.
She made a mental note to facetime them this week to let them know when she heard the Dr. Franklin’s voice pull her from her reverie.
“Ready, Maya?” she said softly, holding the wand aloft.
“Oh! Yes, sorry. Was lost in my thoughts for a second there. The to do list is getting long,” Maya laughed to herself and she undid her soft robe to expose her belly. Paul stood next to her, refusing the comfortable rolling stool they’d offered him earlier. He gripped her hand in his and smiled down at her.
Her stomach still looked relatively flat but she was starting to feel a small rounding below her belly button that had given her a moment of pause.
The warm gel was smoothed gently across her belly followed by the warm pressure of the ultrasound. Dr. Franklin found the image she needed with ease and smiled at the display as the little shape came into view. She learned over and touched the screen to turn on the speakers and a reassuring wet thumping sound filled the room.
It was like the sun sparkling through gentle rain in Maya’s vision, as she listened, enthralled by the small, echoing sound and the fluttering heart on the screen.
“Looking good, you two. I’d say preliminary measurements are putting you at about 8 to 10 weeks. Heartbeat is strong and the sac around looks good. All signs point to healthy, but we’ll get a much firmer picture with your results here soon,” Dr. Franklin smiled up at them and Maya just sucked in a sharp breath.
Her own heart was racing and she had been flooded with so much joy that time had seemed to stop. Only Dr. Franklin’s soft voice reached her in that room with the reassurance that their baby was there, healthy, perfect probably.
Maya tore her eyes away from the screen to look up at Paul. His own eyes were glued to the fluttering image, his mouth slightly open and tears gently rolling down his cheeks. He was stunned, just as Maya had been just a moment ago. Completely glued to the realization that this was real, and they were on their way to becoming parents.
“Paul,” Maya barely said above a whisper. He blinked suddenly as if he was coming out of a trance and looked down at her. There was something new there, but the feeling was the same. Joy, unfiltered, unfettered joy. He let out a wet laugh and leaned down to kiss her before turning his head to look at the screen again.
“I’ll get these printed out,” Dr. Franklin said with a knowing smile on her face as she took more pictures with her wand.
Maya was tucked into the oversized armchair within the study biting her fingernails as she tried to get up the courage to begin the facetime call with Keye and Becks. She’d coordinated a call earlier that week, just a few days after her ultrasound, and had been putting off the call in her mind so that she could catch up on some school work.
Everything had been put on hiatus, her pending internships, her summer plans, even the wedding. And now she was trying to come to grips with telling….everyone.
It had been somewhat easy, just having Paul, Rosalie and Emmett knowing. It felt quieter, more contained and Maya was able to enjoy the small moments of realization that this pregnancy had on her as they came without the onslaught of everyone’s emotions and excitement. She knew it might be selfish, maybe even a little unfair, but this moment was something she’d never really truly have again and she had just wanted to hold onto it for a bit longer before opening it up to everyone else.
But that time was quickly coming to an end. Her mother had been calling her nearly non stop wanting to finalize some decorations and venue ideas for the wedding. And get her fitted for a dress.
There was no way she could do a wedding while managing school and her very first pregnancy. So she had to tell them.
Paul was tucked away in the enclosed office within the study, separated only by two glass french doors. He was on the phone with Michael, rearranging projects and setting up new ones based on Maya’s delivery date.
August 22nd. She was due to give birth on the first day of her final year at Columbia. The irony was not lost on Maya.
Paul had been as buoyant as a newly inflated balloon, happy and nearly bouncing from task to task as he managed his client meetings, ferried Maya to and from campus, took her out to lunches and dinners, and made sure every spare moment they had was spent reconnecting.
Maya sank deeper under the warm blanket and stared at her phone screen. It was now or never. She hit the video icon and watched as her face filled the screen.
Keye was first to pick up, munching on chips and walking to a different room in the apartment she shared with Leah.
“Bout time! Thought you were never going to call me back,” Keye said with only a small joking tone. Maya rolled her eyes.
“Some of us stay busy. Not my fault I've been buried under a mass of new papers since the new year,” Maya gave the excuse so easily. Keye took another bite of her chips as Becks beautiful round face filled the screen.
“Hi, hi! Sorry! Just got Novi down,” Becks said nearly breathless as she wandered into her expansive kitchen, “My, jesus you look gorgeous.” Maya’s eyebrows shot up.
“Do I? I mean, I’ve been sleeping a bit better, but I just assumed that’s because Paul is here,” Maya rubbed her cheek self consciously.
“I dunno, maybe it’s the light, but whatever you’re doing, it's working,” Becks replied sweetly as she busied herself putting away dishes. She had propped her phone up on the counter and Maya’s eyes wandered around the backdrop to see if there was any sign of Jacob.
“What about me, Becks? Where’s my gushing complement?” Keye bemoaned. Becks scoffed and rolled her eyes at that.
“As if I need to inflate your gorgeous, fabulous, head any more. You always look radiant,” Becks soothed.
“Thank you!” Keye proclaimed before shoving another handful of chips.
“So what’s going on with you two? Fill me in,” Becks said wiping her hands on a dish towel.
“Well—” Maya started, trying to keep her voice even.
“DUDE! I was gonna tell you the other day but you had to jump off the call because Ephi had like, pooped a pants load or something but, do you remember Janie Shortfeather?!” Keye cut in. Maya took a deep breath and played with her lower lip as she watched Becks eyes widen at Keye’s gossip.
“Yeah, didn’t she run off with that one guy—” Becks squinted her eyes trying to remember.
“Mike Waterfield!” Keye proclaimed, “YEAH! She did, but guess what?!”
“What?” Becks said as she pulled some fruit near her and started chopping. This was easy, Maya could let them banter and she could just casually drop it in. No need to drop the bomb right away. The nerves fluttered endlessly in her stomach as Keye rambled on about the scandal that was Janie Shortfeather and Mike Waterfield’s older brother Trevor who had apparently sleeping with Janie on the side. How Keye knew this rez-only information while not being on rez was beyond Maya.
After about twenty minutes, Keye’s gossip had come to a close and she scrunched up her face in disgust.
“Oh fuck, I’m sorry Maya, I cut you off earlier. What were you going to say?” Keye said. Maya’s eyes widened again and she sat up a little straighter. Her heart thundering in her chest.
“No, it’s fine, I just…wanted to talk to you guys about the wedding and tell you that, um—” Maya paused for just a few seconds before Becks’ gasp filled her ears. “What?!” Maya asked in a hurry. Had Becks just seen it written all over her face? How did she know?!
Becks face was close to the screen as if she was reading something intently.
“Oh. My. God. OH MY GOD!” Becks squealed.
“What?!” Keye asked only a little annoyed.
“Guess who’s pregnant!?” Becks said, her face a shining beacon of pure elation. Maya’s mouth dropped open in shock and she looked toward the double french doors. Paul was still on the phone but he glanced over at her and raised a concerned eyebrow. She must have looked terrified.
When Maya looked back at the screen, Becks’ eyes were welling with tears.
“I wanted to—” Maya began to apologize.
“Sadie and Seth!” Becks said at the same time as Maya began to explain.
“WHAT?! THAT LITTLE TWERP!” Keye got up from her bed that she had been lounging in and ran toward the other room, no doubt to include Leah.
Maya let out a sigh and then her own brows knit together.
“THIS IS SO EXCI—,” Becks was dancing around her kitchen.
“LEAH!” Keye was nearly breathless, “Did you know that—”
“He just called me,” Leah reassured her, her own face beaming.
“Oh my god!” Keye proclaimed as she tumbled into Leah’s lap in a giggling heap.
“I gotta call you back, Sadie’s calling me,” Becks said as she quickly toggled offscreen.
“Dude, this is so like him,” the muffled voices of Keye and Leah floated out to Maya. Keye had dropped her phone and it had sunk somewhere in the couch. No doubt Keye had completely forgotten she was on the phone.
Maya ended the facetime and let out a long sigh.
“How’d it go?” Paul was suddenly there, leaning against the now open door frame to the office.
“Sadie’s pregnant, too,” Maya said slowly, “I didn’t even get a chance to tell them.” Maya wasn’t even upset, she was just simply floored by the flurry of excitement.
Paul’s face was pure laughter as he shook his head at her. “Try again tomorrow, they’ll be just as excited for you I bet.”
“We’re gonna give the council a heart attack. Two pack pregnancies?” Maya joked. Paul had his arms crossed over his chest as he chuckled and nodded.
“Yup, dream come true,” he looked down at the floor and froze for a half second as if realizing something and his eyes glazed over with confusion.
“Paul?” Maya asked, “You good?”
He looked up at her and smiled reassuringly, but that strange look was still there, “Yeah, fine. Just thinking. Anyways, call them back tomorrow and tell them.”
“Right,” Maya said looking down at her phone. The imprint group chat was exploding with messages of congratulations for Sadie and already they were throwing out ideas for a celebration.
Maya, when are you and Paul going to rez-side again? Emily asked in the groupchat.
End of next week. Maya responded.
She had one more ultrasound scheduled before they left for spring break. And then all hell was bound to break loose at the news.
I honestly don't know how to start this without it sounding like a love letter, but here goes...
I FUCKING LOVE YOUR WORK, ALL OF IT, really seriously. I took a deep dive into all the stories, the truth is I started looking for stories about Paul Lohote in a moment of longing for my teenage love of the Twilight movies, I didn't expect to find much knowing that the saga already has more than 10 years since I finished in the movies, but oh my goodness, if I came across pure gold with your blog, I seriously finished the Taking Time series easily in 5 days. The beautiful and detailed way in which you describe not only the aspects of the main characters, but you also go into giving context and depth to the characters that many would later use only as background (the pack, the imprints, their families and side characters ) It's simply, I mean you left me hooked for more.
And then when I saw that you updated recently, you don't know how happy it made me to know that I can know more about this wonderful story and its next development.
I have come across several works on the page that for many reasons or few were left half done, and it is not to put pressure or anything like that, I am new here, I just wanted to send you a message of my pure admiration for your work and therefore you.
Because you have created a wonderful work of literature and I can't wait to see how it continues.
I think I'll leave this message here, I don't want to seem too intense at first. I only want to say, gracias, thank you very much, for sharing your talent with all of us, whatever the reason for your hiatus, I wish you a good night, or day depending on when you receive this message, and all the good vibes that arrive to you so that you have a good life.
P.S. An apology if my writing is not so neat, English is not my first language, I am from Mexico, and right now I am using Google Translate and I only have to trust its grammar.
Sincerely, Dania P., a new loyal fan.
This message is just...wow. Thank you so much for saying such kind and thoughtful things. I'm so glad you found my story and I always love seeing people progress through my chapters when they like them.
This story is such a self fulfilling joy for me to write and I'm glad that others are enjoying it just as much. Your message totally made my day and I'd be lying if I didn't say I hoarded it in my inbox for awhile so I could read it over and over again.
Its folks like you and many other silent readers that make me know this story means something not just to me.
I can't wait for you to see where Maya and Paul go next. We've got some external conflict, and the vampire/werewolf threat coming into play soon. But of course, I need to throw a couple of wrenches in there first to whack it all up.
Thank you again for reading and thank you even more for writing this amazing message. I absolutely can't express how much happiness (and the push it gave me to finish this last chapter) it brought me.
I’ve never really believed in bad omens or bad luck. A black cat, a broken mirror, a broom falling before a storm. None of it was particularly foreboding to me. But what happens instead might be worse. Whenever things are going too well, I have this thread of underlying dread running like a hidden current beneath a calm sea. It’s that old saying: What can go wrong, will go wrong. You know that one? Maybe that’s still a manifestation of bad luck—always expecting the worst. It always makes itself known, though. At least to me.
It was as if the world pressed fast forward over the next ten days for Maya. But she tried to soak it all in as much as possible. News spread of her and Paul’s engagement quickly and her mother demanded upon threat of disownment to throw her an engagement party at her childhood home.
Maya had given in quickly, to her mother’s surprise, knowing that it was inevitable to avoid a celebration. That’s how Maya found herself on a balmy November afternoon, fielding question after question from elders, distant cousins, and people in her community she’d only seen in passing about her impending nuptials.
“So, how did he do it?” Her aunt Isla asked conspiratorially, sandwiched between about twelve other people making a semicircle around Maya.
“Oh, uh, on the cliffs,” she smiled genially, but her palms were sweating as she tried to rub them dry on the front of her bright red mini dress. The sweetheart neckline dipped just low enough to show the tasteful curve of the top of her breasts. Maya shivered slightly, her bare shoulders and legs seemingly more on display here than in a bikini on a California beach.
“I want to see!” an overexcited teenage daughter of one of her mom’s friends squealed. Maya shoved her hand forward to display the glittering rock nestled on her finger. It really was beautiful and Maya was nearly breathless every time she saw it herself. The crowd around her ooh’ed and aah’ed, grabbing her hand unceremoniously and bending it this way and that to make it shimmer in the light.
Maya grimaced, this was the same routine on repeat she had done for the past hour and a half as people circulated around her. Paul had been swallowed up by other crowds, no doubt being subjected to the same onslaught of questions.
“Are you moving back then?” a question carried from a part of the crowd, but Maya wasn’t sure who it came from.
“What? Oh, no, I still have another year left—,” she tried to respond but was quickly cut off by other overlapping questions:
“Can’t you transfer?”
“Poor Paul, I’m sure he misses you terribly.”
“Newlyweds really shouldn’t be apart in their first year, it’s so important to be together.”
“You should really think about transferring.”
“When are you guys planning on trying for a baby?”
“Oh! A baby! So sweet.”
“You guys would make the cutest kids.”
It was…exhausting.
Maya tried to smile as she curled an arm around her middle uncomfortably as the questions continued. She couldn’t even get a word in, they were just relentless.
“Excuse me, folks,” Paul’s warm, deep voice ran a shiver down her spine. Suddenly, he was there, his arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her into his side and instantly banishing the chill that had settled over her.
He handed her a glass of champagne that Maya desperately sipped and smiled at the crowd around them. “I need to steal my fiance away. Rish also wanted me to let you know that the food is being set up, so please go help yourselves.” Paul made it look so easy. They simply melted in front of him and dispersed immediately, providing more well wishes to them as they went.
Paul leaned down and placed a kiss to the top of her head as Maya let out a deep sigh.
“How are you holding up, baby?” he asked her softly, his comforting firm grip on her hip soothed her anxiety. Maya took another swig from her glass, nearly draining it before answering.
“Just…tired,” she finally said. “Why did I agree to this again?” Maya glanced around the room before looking up and up at Paul. He smiled warmly down at her.
“Because your mother would have hunted you down anyway and this at least gets us off the hook for attending the harvest bonfire,” he reminded her. Maya nodded and rested her forehead against his chest as she groaned softly. Only a couple more hours and they could go home. “Come on, let’s get you something to eat,” he rubbed her back gently and started to steer her toward the dining room where a massive spread of food had been deposited.
But before they could reach it, the door opened to cheers and exclamations. Maya looked over her shoulder and her eyes widened as she watched Becks waddle through the front door, followed closely by Jacob, holding their son in one arm.
“Becks!” Maya called out incredulously as she pulled out of Paul’s arms and hurried over to her heavily, painfully pregnant best friend. Becks turned and smiled, one hand on her lower back and one on her extended belly that sat low in front of her. “What are you doing here? I thought you were on bed rest.”
“Yeah, me too,” Jacob said with an exasperated sigh. Becks rolled her eyes at him and shook her head.
“This baby will not come out, so I needed to get out. Plus, you’re here. My good luck baby labor charm,” she leaned in and Maya tried to hug her around her giant belly.
“Jeez, are you sure you’re okay? This…does not look comfortable,” Maya said as she looked over her best friend.
“Oh, it's not. I’m…miserable,” and she looked it. Dark bags hung under her eyes from restless sleep and every part of her looked swollen. “I just couldn’t stay in bed another minute and the midwife said walking might help spur on labor.”
“Walking in small doses,” Jacob reminded her as he bounced Ephi gently. It was always such a funny sight to Maya to see these giant, towering, strong men handle a baby with such gentleness and care.
“Are you hungry?” Maya asked, already knowing the answer. Becks shook her head quickly and blew a breath out as if she was already going into labor.
“No, we’ll just hang around for a bit, I think my parents are here anyway,” Becks motioned toward the double doors that led onto the back deck.
“Okay, well let me know if you need anything,” Maya rubbed one of Becks’ arms and gave her a sympathetic smile. As they wandered off, Maya turned and saw Paul approaching with a plate in his hand. He handed her a fork and she started to take quick bites as they huddled together.
“No baby yet?” Paul asked.
“Mmm mm,” Maya mumbled around a mouthful of sweet potato. She loaded her fork with more food and held it up to Paul as he gratefully took a bite. People were whispering off to the side about how cute they were. It took everything in Maya not to roll her eyes at them.
She didn’t mind these types of things, it was just being on display that irked her. Maya had never felt more like a trophy than at this very moment. Her mother was drinking all of the attention in and talking about wedding colors and themes that Maya hadn’t even started to consider.
“How much longer do we have to stay again?” Maya asked, swallowing another sigh.
“We’ll sneak out in about an hour. I think you’ve done enough parading and after dinner, people will start drinking and not even notice we’re gone,” he reassured her. That was a saving grace at least. She could last another hour.
“Maya!” another gaggle of aunts called out across the room as they strode toward the happy couple.
“Just smile, I’ll handle the questions,” he leaned down and kissed the side of her neck before neatly tucking Maya into his side again and taking on the approaching vultures.
----------------------
The never ending list of things to do before Maya was due back in New York was making her head spin. With only three days left of her break, Paul had to unexpectedly take a trip to Seattle to consult with some huge new clients from overseas. However, he was going to fly out to the New York next week and stay with her for a bit so they could detox from the wedding frenzy that had taken over La Push and nearly ruined her fall break.
Maya checked her messages as she left the Quileute clinic after getting her IUD removed. She already had another appointment scheduled for when she got back to New York for a new one before Paul arrived. Keye had texted her about meeting up for lunch with her and Sadie.
Maya smiled down at her phone. Things hadn’t gone over too well after Keye had talked to Colin, but things were mostly smoothed over at this point. She hadn’t told him about the abortion, but she apologized for leaving him in the lurch and not talking to him sooner about ghosting him.
Just as she was typing a reply to confirm their plans to meet for lunch, her mother’s face popped up on an incoming call. Maya threw her head back and groaned. She hadn’t gotten a moment of reprieve since the engagement party from neverending wedding planning from her mother.
She considered ignoring the call for a moment before begrudgingly answering.
“Yes, mom?”
“Oh honey! I’m so glad I caught you. I was wondering which you liked better: Azaleas or hydrangeas?” Rish was talking a mile a minute and Maya could here the honking of cars in the background.
“Why?” Maya tried to hide her annoyance, but failed spectacularly.
“For flowers, for your bridesmaid’s bouquets!” Rish exclaimed impatiently as if they had had this conversation a million times already. They hadn’t.
“Mom, I don’t even know what colors I’m doing for the wedding yet, we can’t pick flowers until I decide on colors,” she crossed the parking lot to her car.
“I thought we said we were doing shades of pinks and greens?”
“Nope,” Maya said in a clipped tone.
“Well, these are perfect for spring and I think that would complement those colors so nicely anyway. I’ll bring back sample bouquets and we can look at them together,” Rish carried on.
“Mom, I’m leaving in like 48 hours, I don’t have time to look at bouquets. I’ve got like three interviews to prep for and I’m organizing the food train for Becks before I leave. Where are you, anyway?” Maya started the car.
“Pikes Place Market. Your father and I popped over for a couple of days to do some scouting for wedding ideas. Oh! Isn’t Paul in Seattle? Maybe I can meet up with him and go over—”
“No! Mom, please don’t bother him. He’s in really important client meeting with some international bigwigs. Do not bother him with this.” Maya’s tone was firm.
She really needed to set some boundaries with her mom regarding the whole wedding planning thing. She hadn’t even been engaged a week and already her mother had booked four different appointments to shop for wedding dresses in New York next month.
“Mom, I gotta go,” if she didn’t get off the phone now, she may never escape.
“Fine, fine, but call me later!”
“Will do!” Maya lied. She quickly ended the call and tossed her phone into the center console with a little too much force.
----------------------------------------------
It was early the next morning around 3 a.m. when Maya’s phone rang suddenly on the nightstand. She had made it a habit while she was home to sleep with the ringer on loud in case anyone called about Becks.
When she answered groggily, Jacob’s voice snapped her awake.
“She’s in labor. She’s asking for you,” Jacob said quickly.
“I’m on my way,” Maya was already throwing off the covers and slipping into some sweatpants as she hung up. She shot a quick text to Paul to let him know when he woke up that morning and ran down to the Jeep.
The rez was peaceful at night. As Maya coasted down the rain slicked roads toward Becks and Jacob’s she couldn’t help but relish in the cool and quiet that settled over her home. She did miss it. And she knew she always would.
In no time, Maya had pulled and parked into the already crowded driveway at Jacob’s. As she jogged toward the front door, she could already see people milling about inside, prepping food, cleaning, and taking care of things in anticipation for the new baby. When she pushed in, everyone was keeping their voices low and Quil looked over at her, his eyes lighting up with delight:
“She’s upstairs, Jacob said to send you up when you got here.”
Maya nodded and smiled with excitement as she took the stairs two at a time. The scene within Jacob and Becks’ bedroom was as calm as a quieted chaos could be. The lights were dimmed and gave off a warm amber glow.
Becks was propped up in a custom canvas pool that sat in the cleared space in front of their bed. She was naked, with a small towel draped across her breasts with Jacob wedged in behind her, stroking her arms. Maya couldn’t hear what he said, but he was calmly talking in a low, honeyed voice into Becks’ ear. Her eyes were tightly closed as she breathed her way through another contraction. Maya could see the vice grip she held on Jacob’s biceps and low groans and whimpers escaped her.
The warm water sloshed gently around her as she wiggled to try and find a comfortable seat through her contraction and the midwife and her assistants gathered around her, warming the water with fresh pours and prepping towels and tools nearby to assist with delivery.
It was beautiful and terrifying. Maya’s eyes widened in wonder as she crossed the room quietly and sank next to the pool up by Becks’ shoulders.
“Maya’s here,” she heard Jacob rumble softly in Becks’ ear. The contraction had passed and Becks was slumped tiredly against Jacob, sweat beading on her forehead. She turned her head across Jacob’s chest and opened her eyes blearily as a smile cracked across her face.
“Maya,” she breathed. Maya returned that radiant smile as tears brimmed her eyes. Becks looked so beautiful and so incredibly strong. Her towel covered chest rose and fell as she took deep, calming breaths. She reached out for Maya’s hand and grasped it immediately.
“Hey babe, how are you doing?” Maya said just as softly as Jacob had, trying to mirror the calming atmosphere everyone was working so hard to keep for her.
“He’s…he’s coming,” Becks said. Her eyes were glassy, but filled with sheer happiness even though Maya knew she was in excruciating pain. Quileute women traditionally delivered naturally, unless there was some exceeding circumstance or planned c-section. This time, Becks had wanted to do it all exactly right as everyone of her mother, grandmothers, and great grandmothers before her.
Jacob helped prop Becks up a little higher on his chest as he rubbed along the sides of her belly. The midwife smiled warmly at Maya and checked Becks’ progress.
“You’re almost there, honey,” the midwife confirmed, “Time to push very soon, okay? Just keep listening to your body and let him come on his own. You’re doing great.” Maya had to hand it to her, she was very convincing.
Maya knew that in time when she and Paul had kids, if she decided to do it the Quileute way, at home, with her husband behind her, in a water bath, she’d be absolutely terrified. But Becks just looked ready—elated even—to be bringing her second child into the world. It was something she couldn’t even fathom as being a part of her life at this moment, but she was just so happy to be there for Becks again.
Becks’ breathing picked up again as another contraction rolled through her. She squeezed Maya’s hand and held onto Jacob as a deep sob erupted from her throat.
“That’s it, there you go, mama,” the midwife coached, “Just like that.” She must have been getting close because Maya watched as a flurry of activity suddenly happened around her. Assistants were preparing, noting times and dates, keeping time, and prepping the towels. The midwife leaned over the side of the water bath and helped the assistants position and hold one of each of Becks’ legs firmly in their arms, anchoring her into a birthing position.
Again, a fresh wave of terror washed over Maya as she held tightly to Becks who just seemed to know exactly what to do. Jacob was methodically counting out breaths for Becks as she arched and groaned through the last intense contraction.
“Alright, Becks, ready?” the midwife confirmed from her place below. Becks nodded quickly, “Dad, ready?” Jacob braced Becks and nodded swiftly, his eyes never leaving the side of his wife’s face. “Next contraction, I want you to start pushing,” the midwife stated.
Maya hadn’t realized her own breathing had picked up as her eyes darted from Becks’ face to the midwife between her thighs watching carefully for signs. The next contraction began quickly.
“There you go! Push mama! Bear down against them,” she instructed. Becks pushed and nearly screamed as she held on tightly to Jacob and Maya both.
“Push, baby, push!” Jacob chanted still calm but firm in her ear. Becks’ cheeks were reddening and Jacob urged her to take a breath as the contraction wound down.
“Good! Good, deep breaths, 1, 2, 3, 4,” the midwife’s hand was nowhere Maya could see. Suddenly the calm and quiet room was just pure energy and it all centered around Becks. The assistants were counting out breaths, their rhythmic voices offering clarity and guidance through the controlled chaos, “Again!” the midwife said louder. “Push, Becks!”
“Push, push,” Jacob began again. Maya mirrored him, chanting softly as Becks’ wailed through another contraction, her face contorting in pain, mouth wide open as stuttering groans broke free of her throat.
“Fuck,” Maya said under her breath. This was unlike anything she had ever witnessed. Even before, when she had been there for the birth of Ephriam, Carlisle had made it seem like no time had passed at all before he was placing the newborn on Becks. But this…this was something else. It was a moment in time, meant to be experienced and meant to be something bigger and more symbolic than just the birth of a child, but rather the persistence of their tribe to simply exist in the face of seemingly unending pain.
Maya watched as Becks pushed through contraction after contraction, slowly delivering her second son into the world. And all she saw was strength.
On the final push, Becks let out an otherworldly scream as he slid the rest of the way out and into the waiting water below. A new burst of activity began around them. The assistant’s lowered her legs and removed the warm wet towel covering her heaving breasts. Maya’s eyes were clouded with tears, as were Jacob’s as the midwife quickly pulled their baby from the water. He let out a guttering, wet cry and Becks, exhausted and sweating, broke into a smile and laughed so bright Maya thought her heart would split in two with joy.
The midwife quickly placed the wailing baby on Becks’ waiting chest, nestling him between her breasts. Jacob’s large hand came up to cover their baby’s back as he kissed the side of Becks’ face over and over, whispering in her ear things Maya couldn’t and didn’t need to hear. It was pure love, this picture before her.
Becks was crying softly as she held her newborn son, her head pressed into the crook of Jacob’s neck. Maya stood slowly and took a step back from the pool, her heart beating wildly in her chest as she took in the scene before her. Her best friend was overwhelmingly happy and Maya understood this was where Becks was meant to be.
As she slowly slipped out of the bedroom to leave them to their intimate first moments with their son, she watched as Becks turned her head up toward Jacob’s, her free hand cupping his cheek as he looked down adoringly at her. He kissed her slowly and Maya shut the door behind her, the tears still falling freshly down her cheeks as she disappeared into the dark hallway.
Maya covered her mouth and cried softly. She felt a buzzing throughout her whole body that she could only imagine was happiness.
“My?” A soft voice floated from the top of the stairs. Maya whirled around, her hand dropping to her chest as she gasped. Paul’s darkened figure stood just a step below the landing and he watched her carefully, his eyes shifting to something darker as they laid upon her.
“Jesus, Paul, you scared me! What are you doing here?!” Maya didn’t even try to hide her tears as she crossed the landing to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and sniffling into his neck.
He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him before bringing his other hand up to gently wipe the tears off her face and push her loose hair back.
“I got your message that Becks was in labor and caught a red eye,” he said in a low whisper. The sound struck a warm thrum deep in her belly and she swallowed thickly. His eyes looked over her face slowly, taking in every piece of her, memorizing her emotions. “What’s wrong?”
Maya shook her head slowly and closed her eyes for a moment. “Nothing, really. It was just intense and she’s just so happy…It makes me happy that she’s happy,” she felt like she wasn’t making much sense but Paul nodded as a crooked smile broke across his face as if he understood.
“I know, baby,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss her slowly. Maya sucked in a deep breath of him as their lips connected, relishing in that soft earth and spice scent. She leaned her body into his and felt that warmth spread throughout her belly. Paul’s hands gripped her hips tightly and she felt a rush of euphoria sweep through. She was so very warm that Paul’s hands felt almost cold. When they broke their kiss after a few moments, Maya was nearly panting. She stepped back to get a grip and wipe her eyes again. Paul kept his grip on her waist and when she finally let her eyes adjust and settle on him, he looked intense.
The sharp, strong curve of his jaw was softened by his trimmed beard, and Maya reached up absently to stroke her hand across it. Lightning prickled on her fingertips as she did and she watched Paul wet his lips in response.
“We should go home,” his voice was a deep rumble in her chest. When her eyes darted away from his mouth to connect with his, she saw fire. She tried to stifle a small gasp, but it slipped from her throat. Paul’s grip tightened further and pulled her closer as if on instinct.
Maya shook her head to try and clear it. Her heart beat wildly in her chest and she closed her eyes for a moment before she stuttered out, “N-no, I need to start breakfast and m-make sure everyone is on assignment.”
When she opened her eyes to carefully look at him again, she knew she was done for. “Kim’s got it under control. Let’s go home,” the command was subtle and he tugged her near him as they descended the stairs together. Maya made quick and quiet goodbyes, waving to the sleepy group of people milling about doing chores and small tasks in the early hours as dawn broke. Paul guided her out into the cool air, never letting them stop as they walked swiftly toward her Jeep.
The cool air felt like a wash of sleet melting on her skin. Maya let Paul deposit her into the passenger side of the Jeep and only when he snapped the door shut behind her did she notice that she was breathing too quickly as if she had just run a marathon. She focused on breathing through her nose and out through her mouth, trying to quietly calm herself as Paul steered them expertly through the dark toward home. But her heartbeat barely slowed. When she stole a glance toward Paul, she saw the muscle in his jaw tick and the whites of his knuckles as he gripped the steering wheel. But he didn’t seem mad…just anxious to get home.
Finally, once they pulled into the driveway, Maya started to feel a little more settled. The warmth of the house inside was a blur as Paul pulled Maya upstairs toward the bathroom and quickly turned on the shower. Everything felt hazy, as if the adrenaline was coating her brain in a strange fog.
“P-Paul?” she barely whispered as she turned to face him. He was gently pulling off her shirt and sweats. Maya could feel his hands shaking as he undressed her. “Are you okay?”
“I’m trying very hard to be gentle, but I just feel like ripping your clothes off,” he said through gritted teeth. Maya shook her head sleepily, standing in just panties as she said,
“Just rip them, who cares.” Paul didn’t hesitate upon her permission to rip the cotton easily from her body. She sighed in exaltation and stood naked before him as he quickly shed his clothes and backed her into the shower.
The water felt barely warm against her hot skin, but she stayed put beneath it as Paul brought his mouth down to hers, stroking her body lovingly beneath the water. Everything was quiet, except for their panting breaths as he quickly scrubbed her down with soap and reverently rinsed her. She felt the thick heated length of him resting against her stomach and swallowed as her mouth watered.
Just as quickly as he had placed them in the shower, she felt him guiding her out, toweling her down softly and moving her to the bed, his hands roaming around her body, touching every part of her, his lips moving across her shoulders and neck.
Maya collapsed on the bed, writhing gently against the sheets. Every stretch of her body felt delicious and the soft sheets felt like a warm caress against her skin. Paul’s hands settled on her thighs and the heat of his touch felt normal. For once, they felt like they were the same temperature.
His lips started to kiss the inside of her thigh, quickly gliding up to her center before he took a deep breath of her and dove in. The groan that emanated from him made her shudder. Maya’s cheeks reddened. She was already soaked, but every swipe of his tongue between her legs was like a bolt of lightning up her spine.
Maya could vaguely hear herself beg—his name, pleadings, promises, needs. But she was still lost in that heady haze. She felt him rise up above her and then the taste of her bloomed on her lips as he kissed her. There was urgency in his touch, but when she gripped his biceps, he slowed as if remembering himself.
Nothing had ever felt like this. Maya felt as Paul gently pressed against her opening, but he waited, pulling back from their kiss to look down at her.
“Ready?” his voice came out husky and deep. Maya exhaled, her eyes hooded as she breathed a quick: “Yes, yes please.”
He slid all the way home and Maya’s back arched off the bed as she let out a startled yelp. He felt…much, much bigger. Was he always this big? The stretch was overwhelming and even with how wet she was, she felt every inch of him within her. Paul let out a low moan into her ear and paused, trying to catch his breath.
“Paul, ah, fuck!” Maya gasped between small whines. Each time she moved, seemingly involuntarily against him, she felt a snap of pain and then aching relief within her.
“My, fuck, I know baby, just—you feel so,” he let out a laugh against her throat. He was shaking all over. Maya whined and rotated her hips ever so slightly and felt him cinch tighter inside her.
“How are you—,” another gasp of air, “This big? It feels—”
“Amazing,” he leaned up to look down at her, trying a tentative push against her, “You feel amazing, baby.”
She had to admit, besides the slightly uncomfortable stretch at her opening where he seemed to bulge larger than before, he did feel incredible inside of her. Sweat beaded on her forehead, her nipples tight peaks that rose and fell, grazing against his chest with every breath.
“Let me just..” he groaned again as he shifted inside of her and Maya swallowed hard. He brought one of her knees up and stretched her open more. Her back automatically bowed off of the bed and Paul’s eyes coasted down the length of her in awe.
His hands gripped around her ribcage as he leaned back and started to press slowly in and out of her. Maya was lost, her head was swimming, and she felt like she was on fire. Every stroke felt like she would split in two but each time he withdrew it was like a new ache bloomed in her, waiting to be filled.
She watched him above her, his eyes transfixed on her naked body, heated and hungry, and something within her just snapped. Her whole body shook and his mouth fell open as he watched her come undone quickly. There was nothing like this. She didn’t know how it felt this way, but she never wanted it to end.
As soon as her orgasm rinsed through her, Paul still pushing slowly into her, she gasped, her eyes widening as realization rocketed through her. “Fuck! Stop, stop!”
“Wh-what?! What’s wrong?” He was over her in a second, his hand coming to cup her cheeks as she pushed against his chest roughly, “My, what is it?”
“Condom! We need a fucking condom, fuck!” He was still inside of her and Maya couldn’t help but arch her hips into him with a whimper.
“Why? My, we talked about this, it’s just superstition,” he pleaded in between heavy pants. She could tell it was killing him not to move. His eyes were wild as he clenched his jaw.
“No, I don’t have any…Fuck! I got my IUD taken out,” she was frantic now. Paul stilled, his eyes wide.
“What?” his voice was low, that same gravelly, heated tone coating his words. “You’re not—”
“I didn’t know you were going to be back and I had an appointment to get a new one put in in New York before you were supposed to meet me out there,” she was still pushing slightly against his chest, but his eyes had a far away look to them, his mouth hung open, and he was still inside her. “PAUL!”
“Fuck! Okay, hold on,” he looked down between them and gently tried to pull out of her. He was wedged so tightly inside of her, Maya threw her head back and screamed at the sensation. It was neither painful, nor pleasurable, but just left a harsh aching behind that had her pulse ratcheting up. When he finally pulled all the way out, Maya sucked in a breath and looked between them.
“Did you come?” she was shaking from the adrenaline, from the ache, she didn’t know. He shook his head still looking down at her before replying.
“No, not yet.”
“Okay, okay. Good,” Maya breathed, falling back onto the pillows. She was thoroughly wound up now and tried to wipe the sweat off of her forehead. “Just, grab a condom and we can keep going,” she nearly begged. He moved soundlessly to the nightstand, methodical and quick.
By the time Maya had leaned up on her elbows to look at him, she saw both her body and his were covered in a thin sheen of sweat. He rolled the condom tightly onto his shaft, wincing as he did.
“Ready?” she said in a whisper. He looked up at her, but his face was unreadable. He was still panting, but he nodded.
“Turn over,” he didn’t give her a moment to comprehend his request before grabbing one of her knees and flipping her onto her belly, “Ass up,” he directed, pulling her hips up. Maya’s heart thumped wildly as she felt him rub his now covered tip against her opening and slid back in. It was just as tight as the first time but Maya rocked through the discomfort. Paul was a man possessed behind her, pulling her hips tightly back onto his as he thrust into her.
She was quickly coming apart again beneath him and this time, she closed her eyes, biting down against the pillow as he hammered home inside of her. Stars popped behind her eyelids and she heard a deafening moan around her. She wasn’t sure if it was her or Paul. Maybe it was both of them, but whatever it was, she could feel him tightening again inside of her. As her body contracted and flooded with warmth, his thrusts began to stutter and suddenly he was unable to move at all inside of her.
He leaned over her back, panting and dripping sweat, “Don’t..Don’t move,” he pleaded. She could feel him twitch inside of her. The feeling of it was euphoric. Every breath she pulled in tightened her belly and made her acutely aware of every inch of him, making her shudder and ripple with pleasure.
Maya thought she might actually pass out with how much she was feeling all at once. She was both too hot and pleasantly burning. A matchstick, set alight. Maya moved ever so slightly, curving her hips away from him and froze when he let out a pained moan. She looked over her shoulder at him and he placed his hand on her lower back.
“Stay still, baby. Just for a minute…let me just…” he was absently kissing and nibbling on her shoulder to placate her.
“Are you okay?” Maya said, breathlessly. Paul let out a soft huff of air that almost sounded like a laugh.
“Yeah, honey, I just… need to calm down a bit,” his other hand found her hip and he squeezed tightly. “You were so good for me, My.” He chuckled a bit as if just as taken aback as she was by their shared euphoria.
Maya glowed at the praise but couldn’t help from wiggling at the sensation of him between her thighs. After a few moments, Paul eased out of her slowly as Maya collapsed completely on the bed. She turned over to stare up at him as he sat back on his knees, head lifted to the ceiling, as sweat poured off of him. She’d never seen him so…undone.
Her eyes sparkled with delight and she couldn’t help but smile mischievously up at him. He took a few more breaths before lowering his head to gaze down at her and laughed again.
“What?” he smiled that warm, signature smile of his and it made butterflies burst in her belly.
“Nothing, you’re just…sort of beautiful, is all,” she replied softly. He nodded as if he hadn’t expected her to say anything else and got up with a groan, padding over to the bathroom.
Maya propped herself up on the covers and waited until he came back with a warm washcloth. He gently cleaned between her legs and wiped himself off before collapsing on the bed next to her. Maya snuggled into the crook of his arm and in no time, they had both drifted off to sleep, their equal warmth radiating off one another.
“I don’t think I’m going to make it this weekend either. The shipment just came in and it’s looking rough,” Maya could hear the crackle of disappointment in Paul’s voice as she hurried across campus. The biting cold made her nose run and hard pellets of snow pelted her forehead. Maya heard a distinct crashing sound on the line and couldn’t help but wince as an onslaught of expletives spilled from Paul’s mouth.
“It’s okay. I’m just getting over this stupid cold anyway and I really need to meet with my thesis advisor this week to start getting plugged into my lab options,” Maya blew out a huff of air, walking through the quickly dispersing fog of it. She fished a tissue out of her pocket that Rosalie had kept stashed there for her and wiped her constant running nose.
At least she was starting to feel better. Her labs had a wicked cold run through all the students and Maya was seemingly the last to recover. Everyone had been coughing and hacking for what felt like weeks. She felt like she was through the worst of it though and with her newfound surge of energy, she really wanted to dig into prep for her thesis. The spring semester always flew by and before she knew it, she would be in her final year as an undergrad at Columbia. The thought made her head spin.
“My, it’s New Years. Shouldn’t you be enjoying yourself?” Paul reasserted. Maya pulled open the heavy door to the main library and relished at the warmth washing over her.
She’d barely taken a break even over Christmas. Paul had planned to come see her for her Christmas break, but Jacob had held him back, citing some weird disappearance up North that he had to check in with the Cullens about in Alaska. So, Paul had stayed behind for the pack.
Despite Paul’s effusive apologizing, it hadn’t bothered Maya at all. She and Rosalie and Emmett had spent a great weekend together. Truth be told, it was the most sleep Maya had gotten since she’d flown back after fall break. But still Paul had felt guilty for not coming sooner like he’d promised, despite Maya’s placating.
“I enjoyed myself last week,” Maya breathed a sigh of relief as she unwound her scarf. Her lab was quiet during the weekends. “It’s fine, babe. Just come whenever the work stuff blows over, I’ll be here.” Maya reassured him. He sounded stressed and she just wanted to see him, but piling on him more wasn’t what he needed right now. “Did Jake make it back okay?”
“Yeah,” there was a long pause as Paul blew out breath and Maya unpacked her bag slowly.
“And?” she prompted.
“And,” Paul sounded distracted, “And I might have to go with him next time.”
“Next time?” That piqued Maya’s curiosity.
“Yeah, there’s apparently more going on up there than we thought. I’m not really sure on all the details but—Fuck! My, baby, I gotta go,” a flurry of voices sounded in the background, along with some very angry beeping.
“Okay! Good luck,” she called out.
“You too,” he managed before the line disconnected. Maya let out a sigh and stared down at her lab notebook. She wasn’t disappointed that he wasn’t going to make it out here for new years, but she had hoped they’d see each other sooner rather than later.
At least there was still the work ahead of her.
Maya sat on the lab stool, blew her nose for the millionth time, and dug into her work.
---------------------------------------------
“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Rosalie asked from behind Maya as she fluffed her perfectly curled blonde hair. Maya sighed and shook her head, adjusting her corset top with Renaissance themed artwork painted across it. She had found it in the Village earlier that week on a rare shopping outing that Rosalie had insisted on.
“I’m sure. I’m meeting everyone at Giordi’s in like half an hour,” Maya insisted. Her nose was only slightly red from the last little bit of her cold, but honestly it weirdly brightened her face.
“Okay, well call me or Emmett if you’re over it and want a rescue,” Rosalie insisted. Maya nodded as she dusted her makeup brush across her bronzer and blended along the contours of her face.
“I will, now go have fun!” Rosalie burst with a smile at that, so incredibly lovely and eerily glowing. Maya was never put off by their strange beauty, but more so fascinated by it. Like a scientist wanting to observe and study a new culture. Rosalie floated out of the room gracefully, her golden shift dress sparkling as she went.
Maya took a last sip of water, donned her heavy Gucci black puffer coat and zipped up the sides of her leather heeled boots. She promised herself she’d stay for at least a few hours, just until midnight, and then she could come home and crawl into bed. While her cold had dissipated, the stress of her thesis and subtly avoiding Arden had tanked her energy.
She was exhausted, and the stress of it all wasn’t lending herself to sleeping well. She tossed and turned most nights and when she woke up, Maya would often text or even call Paul. It was like an impulse and just hearing his voice or seeing him type out a reply was like a salve to her anxiety.
The walk to Giordi’s was only about six blocks, but Maya caught a cab anyway, using the excuse of her heeled leather boots to sink warmly into the backseat and nearly float away from the already persistent tiredness.
The ride was short and as Maya spilled out of the cab, she watched as eager partygoers poured into the restaurant. There was a hidden club downstairs that flaunted an impressive amount of a space for how unassuming the little restaurant was. Maya made her way in with the crowd, scanning for her friends and cohort.
It didn’t take long once she got downstairs to find them huddled around one side of the elongated bar. She bounced over and smiled, ready to put as much energy forward as she could muster and determined to have a good time.
They all cheered in unison when they saw her and Jamie, her energetic lab partner pulled her into a side hug before handing her a shot of something. Maya took a whiff and nearly gagged.
“This smells like lighter fluid, what is it?” she grimaced. Jamie and a few of the others laughed before knocking back their own shots.
“It’s just vodka,” Jamie reassured her as she threw back her own shot, sans chaser. Maya felt like gagging but choked back the shot, feeling her stomach roil painfully. Not a good idea.
“UGH!” she groaned, shaking her head.
“Come on!” Toby, a boy in her cohort beckoned, “You gotta catch up, we’ve been here for at least an hour.” Maya shook her head aggressively and leaned on the bar to order a water.
“No chance,” she called over her shoulder to them. They already looked pretty drunk, or on their way to being so, but Maya didn’t have any interest in getting hammered tonight. She was hoping to get up a little early tomorrow to get her outline finished and over to her thesis advisor.
Have fun. Relax. That little voice inside of her head begged at her. Funny how it almost sounded like Pauls’ voice. She would have fun, just maybe not the drunken, disorderly fun they were all expecting on new years eve.
Maya stayed close to her friends, sipping a diet coke she had lied and told them was spiked. They were all having a great time, and even she had to admit, she was having fun, even if she wasn’t dancing wildly in the pounding club like her friends. Instead, she stayed tucked into the bar, swaying her hips to the music and watching out as people cheered and bobbed to the crescendoing music.
Maya glanced up at the giant digital clock suspended over the dance floor to denote the countdown to midnight. Only an hour left and she could sneak away. Her bed sounded amazing right now. As she turned to order a refill, she felt a warm presence sidle up behind her and before she could turn, a warm voice said in her ear: “Hey you.”
Maya whipped around and looked up to see: “Noah!” she cried out. He laughed, his sweet, familiar face beaming down at her. She crashed into him in a tight hug that he joyfully returned.
“What’s up, My-pie?!” he crooned.
“When did you get back?!” He had been gone for the entire semester, studying at a sister college in the UK for his thesis and working closely with a think tank to develop some really exciting research about clean energy.
“About an hour ago,” he looked down at his watch and laughed, “What are you drinking?” he nodded to the diet coke that the bartender slid back toward Maya.
“Oh, uh, rum and coke?” she offered the lie easily and he nodded. The bartender asked what he wanted and he ordered a whiskey, neat. Maya arched an eyebrow.
“Yeah, I’m not really looking to get hammered either,” he said genially as he leaned against the bar. Maya sagged with relief and smiled. “Jet lag,” he offered as an excuse. Maya nodded seriously and then broke out into a smile. Noah was here.
They had barely seen each other since the summer and she really had missed him. They fell into easy conversation as well as they could around the pulsating music for a bit. Her crowd of friends barrelled back over once they saw Noah and demanded another round of shots. Maya insisted she had to use the bathroom and snuck off in search of it.
“Hurry back!” Noah pleaded as he nodded toward the impending clock. Only fifteen minutes until midnight. The bar was being overrun with people trying to order a fresh drink before the new year.
Maya weaved through the crowd and thankfully found the nearly empty bathroom. She quickly peed and took some deep breaths to try and quell her stomach that still hadn’t stopped panging angrily since that initial shot. In the stall next to her, someone heaved and threw up into the toilet. Maya tried to breathe through her mouth so as to avoid the smell of vomit sneaking under the stall, but it was no use. It hit her like a bus and before she knew it, she was arched over the toilet, spilling the contents of her stomach into the dirty toilet below.
What the fuck was she doing here? Maya wiped the beading sweat away from her forehead and tried to gulp down some air before she threw up once more. With shaking hands she lifted herself up and staggered out to the sink. Now that the rogue shot was cleared from her stomach, she felt better, but was still shaking slightly with adrenaline. Her phone buzzed in her bag and Maya ignored it.
Instead, she thoroughly rinsed her mouth out and popped a breath mint before braving the crowded club again. She was just going to tell Noah she was going to catch a cab home. It wasn’t worth it and she desperately wanted to be in her bed at this moment.
If she was being honest with herself though, she desperately wished Paul was here. It wasn’t like the aching absence that the imprint had thrust upon her before—no that hadn’t happened since before fall break. Instead, it was just a present longing that threatened to make Maya tear up. The door to the bathroom swung open and a girl stumbled in, bracing herself on the sink next to Maya.
Maya took another moment to wipe the sweat from her forehead and dampen the back of her neck with some cold water before she turned to leave, but the girl stopped her.
“Hey! Oh, fuck,” the girl winced slightly and looked at Maya, her eyes not quite focusing on her. “Do you have a tampon?”
“Oh!” Maya exclaimed as she started to dig in her purse, “Yeah, one sec,” as she rummaged in her purse, a pit fell to the bottom of her stomach. She grabbed the tampon from her full supply in her bag and handed it to the girl who slurred her thanks and trudged off toward an open stall.
Maya stared vacantly at the door to the bathroom, trying to slow her breathing. The muffled sounds of the club beat just beyond the door and she wanted to go home. Now.
As she made her way across the crowded dance floor to cheers and cries as the final few minutes to midnight began, she spotted Noah among a clump of her friends just off to the side of the dance floor. He caught her eye and waved frantically at her. Maya tried to keep her shoulders back and her mind clear so as not to give away any unnecessary worry on her face.
“My! You almost missed it!” Noah cried out as he pointed to the clock overhead. The final minute until midnight began and people began cheering as the DJ lowered the music so people could countdown at the ten second mark.
“Sorry, I just…I think I’m actually going to head home,” Maya yelled over the loud crowd chattering and hollering around her.
“What?!” Noah shouted back as he leaned down to hear her better.
“I think I’m gonna head home!” she repeated in his ear. Noah leaned up and looked at her face, opening his mouth as if to protest and then he looked behind her, his face cracking into a friendly smile.
“TEN, NINE, EIGHT, SEVEN, SIX!” Maya’s eyes widened as she looked at Noah in confusion and then she heard a warm, deep voice in her ear.
“There you are.”
Maya whirled around and her heart nearly stuttered to a full stop as her mouth hung open in genuine surprise.
“FOUR, THREE, TWO,” the crowd continued.
“Paul!” Maya gasped as she automatically fell into his arms.
“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!” the crowd shouted in unison.
Paul leaned down slowly, his arms wrapped warmly around her as his hands snaked her waists. He kissed her gently and Maya stood on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms up around his neck as she pressed more firmly into the kiss. All around them, people were kissing and cheering as sparkling confetti fluttered down from the ceiling and was caught glimmering in the lights of the club. When they finally pulled apart, Paul’s eyes were hooded with deep adoration. Maya couldn’t stop the tears from welling in her eyes now as the longing she felt just moments ago rapidly dissolved, replacing it with an overwhelming joy.
“Happy new year, Maya,” he said warmly.
“Happy new year,” she smiled, “You’re here.”
“I am,” he said, swaying her gently from side to side as Auld Lang Syne played softly from the speakers and people sang along. “I figured, since I’d already missed a couple of our dates, I wasn’t going to be late to this one.”
Late. Late. Late. Late.
Maya’s heartbeat sped up and she smiled shakily. “I’m just glad you’re here now,” she shook her head and pressed her body more firmly against his.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” he leaned down to kiss her forehead, turning her gently to the music, “I love you.”
Maya closed her eyes and leaned her head against his chest, “I love you too.”
Plus a hint at some new threats/alliances on the horizon for the pack.
Sneak preview below the cut.
“We should go home,” his voice was a deep rumble in her chest. When her eyes darted away from his mouth to connect with his, she saw fire. She tried to stifle a small gasp, but it slipped from her throat. Paul’s grip tightened further and pulled her closer as if on instinct.
Maya shook her head to try and clear it. Her heart beat wildly in her chest and she closed her eyes for a moment before she stuttered out, “N-no, I need to start breakfast and m-make sure everyone is on assignment.”
When she opened her eyes to carefully look at him again, she knew she was done for. “Kim’s got it under control. Let’s go home,” the command was subtle and he tugged her near him as they descended the stairs together. Maya made quick and quiet goodbyes, waving to the sleepy group of people milling about doing chores and small tasks in the early hours as dawn broke. Paul guided her out into the cool air, never letting them stop as they walked swiftly toward her Jeep.
The cool air felt like a wash of sleet melting on her skin. Maya let Paul deposit her into the passenger side of the Jeep and only when he snapped the door shut behind her did she notice that she was breathing too quickly as if she had just run a marathon. She focused on breathing through her nose and out through her mouth, trying to quietly calm herself as Paul steered them expertly through the dark toward home. But her heartbeat barely slowed. When she stole a glance toward Paul, she saw the muscle in his jaw tick and the whites of his knuckles as he gripped the steering wheel. But he didn’t seem mad…just anxious to get home.
Finally, once they pulled into the driveway, Maya started to feel a little more settled. The warmth of the house inside was a blur as Paul pulled Maya upstairs toward the bathroom and quickly turned on the shower. Everything felt hazy, as if the adrenaline was coating her brain in a strange fog.
“P-Paul?” she barely whispered as she turned to face him. He was gently pulling off her shirt and sweats. Maya could feel his hands shaking as he undressed her. “Are you okay?”
“I’m trying very hard to be gentle, but I just feel like ripping your clothes off,” he said through gritted teeth. Maya shook her head sleepily, standing in just panties as she said,
“Just rip them, who cares.” Paul didn’t hesitate upon her permission to rip the cotton easily from her body. She sighed in exaltation and stood naked before him as he quickly shed his clothes and backed her into the shower.
The water felt barely warm against her hot skin, but she stayed put beneath it as Paul brought his mouth down to hers, stroking her body lovingly beneath the water. Everything was quiet, except for their panting breaths as he quickly scrubbed her down with soap and reverently rinsed her. She felt the thick heated length of him resting against her stomach and swallowed as her mouth watered.
Every step home has felt right so far. Maybe it’s just because I’ve been away for so long, but it feels like something has changed or shifted. And as I get closer, that feeling only gets stronger. Now, as I sink into that undeniable warmth, it’s hard to think otherwise at all. Soft, warm breath spans gently across my hair and I reach for the warm body nestled next to me. It must be Paul. How he knew I was here, I’m not sure, but in the halfway point between sleep and wake, I’m not sure of much. The soft body grunts and rolls closer to me, making soft sounds that lull me deeper into sleep. I want it always to be like this: sleepy mornings, just peace, before the sun cracks me open like an egg and burns me from the inside out.
Maya rolled toward the low rumbling groan coupled with that hardy warmth she’d come to know so well when she was home. Paul was so soft. She ran her hands up and down his sides to a pleasant smacking sound coming from his lips. She burrowed closer for warmth, still in that holy toss between dreaming and awake and felt his warm breath flow over her hair. It almost felt wet. Maya inhaled a deep breath savoring his smell only to be met with a warm mildewy scent of dried fur and the forest. He must have only just phased back from rounds and the smell of his wolf form simply clung to him. It didn’t matter. Maya leaned her head up and was met with the his soft, warm, wet lips. Really wet. He kissed and dampened her entire face with his mouth, his tongue.
Maya leaned back and groaned her dissent, but the onslaught kept coming, possibly even more eagerly than before, until her entire face was coated in saliva. Paul really had it coming. Maya’s face twisted into a grimace as she opened her eyes, only to be met with the towering dark frame of Leah’s german shepherd.
“Blegh!” Maya managed before the dog continued with vigor to her dismay. She braced her arms across his chest and tried to push, but the thumping of his tail wagging only seemed to make him stronger as he continue to cover Maya’s face in fervent licks with delight that she was awake.
Maya heard a laugh from the door before Keye said,”Yodel, that’s enough. Come here!” Yodel immediately hopped off the bed and hurtled toward Keye, standing at attention at her feet with his tongue lolling to one side. Keye dropped her hand to stroke his head affectionately, “I thought we said no more kissing dogs after that trip to Seattle when Becks convinced that forty year old bouncer she was old enough to get in by her expertise?”
Maya rubbed her dog-drenched face on the pillow before rolling over and beginning to rub her eyes, “I remember that being you, not Becks.”
“Oh, yeah,” Keye replied lazily as if the thought hadn’t occurred to her until now.
“Come on, Leah’s making breakfast,” Keye stated from her place leaning up against the doorframe. As she plodded away softly, Maya heard Yodel following her dutifully down the small hallway to the kitchenette.
“Okay, but you still have a lot of explaining to do,” Maya called after her as she sat up and ran a hand through her disheveled hair. She didn’t even attempt a glance at her phone. The soft, gray morning light of Seattle pulled her eyes toward the window and Maya let out a soft sigh and let the day breathe her in.
Leah’s apartment was bright and airy. The kitchen and living room sat in a lofted space with high ceilings that allowed large industrial air ducts to span it. The bright beach wood of the rafters above seemed to capture light and sprinkle it down across the warm butcher block island where she was preparing another omelet, this time for herself, after making one for Keye and Maya. They tucked in around the island on carefully crafted wooden bar stools that Maya had a sneaking suspicion were the handiwork of her boyfriend. Maya peered over shoulder to look out the floor to ceiling narrow windows covered in a gauzy, white curtain. The living room was a collection of well loved, mismatched furniture pieces, all softened by time and use.
Maya hadn’t fully recognized the neighborhood they were in when they drove in but she wondered how close they were to Paul’s workshop. Leah was laughing at Keye as she exclaimed how she’d never thought to add spinach to an omelet, or any vegetable to any dish for that matter, when Maya zoned back into the love fest unfolding before her.
“You need to eat more vegetables, I keep telling you, or you’ll never be able to hold up a bike at a stop light. Even a little one,” Leah’s face was all sunshine. She tore off a piece off her omelet and handed it to a waiting Yodel at her feet.
“She’s got a thing for bikes,” Keye hummed around a bite.
“I do not,” Leah tried to bemoan, but it only came out as soft embarrassment, her neck flushing with a hint of pink. That was hard to dispute considering Leah’s apartment was stationed above a bike shop. Her bike shop in fact.
“Crotch rockets, some call them,” Keye quipped, shooting Maya a gleeful look.
“Stop,” Leah replied breathlessly with a laugh, “They’re not called that.”
“She rode up on one to Seth’s wedding, what was I supposed to do? Not fall in love with her?” Keye goaded, shooting a bright smile in her direction. Maya lit up at this—she wanted to know everything about how Leah and Keye met, how the imprint happened.
“So, it was at Seth’s wedding then?” Maya leaned onto the counter, trying to quell her excitement. Leah looked down at her omelet with a soft smile as if just recalling the memory overwhelmed her with joy. Keye blushed and shoved another bite of gooey omelet in her mouth.
“Yeah, it was at Seth’s wedding,” Leah started softly, “Gah, I still can’t believe that little twerp is married. I swear I was helping him with his homework only last week,” she shook her head, still lost in her moment of nostalgia.
“Uh, I’m pretty sure you were helping him with his homework last week, babe. You guys were debating the merit of classic authors still being considered the classic norm in a postmodern world in this very kitchen.” Maya giggled at that and Leah looked up at Keye with such soft eyes that Maya thought she’d explode on the spot. Keye held her gaze for as long as she could before blushing and looking back down at her omelet, playing coy while continuing to eat.
Oh, so it was that kind of imprint.
“Yes, we met at Seth’s wedding,” Keye continued for her after a few bites as Leah started cleaning up. Keye launched into the story like it was well known and been written down for years.
She said it was instantaneous. Much like Maya and Paul had, Leah and Keye and locked eyes and that was it. But most of the guests had been distracted and the pack was thoroughly drunk on special Quileute brewed beer so no one was really paying them any attention. No one had even really realized, except for Keye and Leah. They had sat there and stared at each other, across the dance floor for a cool minute or two. It could have been eons for all Keye knew.
Leah’s face, which had been schooled in a cool complacency for most of the night as she muscled through her baby brother’s wedding, had shifted to something bright and surprised. Breathless, she had strode across the dance floor in her pale cream suit, sparkling under the carefully hung lights as she weaved her way through couples. Her eyes never left Keye’s and Keye had stayed glued to the spot, her heart beating wildly. Nothing would stop Leah from getting to her, and as she startled to a stop in front of her, Keye let out a loud exhale as if breathing again for the first time.
“It’s you,” Leah had said, so surprised yet relieved, “It’s you. Y-you…you are so…you’re my—,”
“Keye,” she interjected, relieving the stuttering Leah. She held her hand out somewhat awkwardly, but it had felt like the only thing she could do. “I’m Keye,” she said again.
Leah slipped her hand into Keye’s, not shaking it, but just holding it there for a moment before threading her fingers purposefully through hers and nodding. “Yes, you are.” Leah’s whole face brightened into one of incandescent happiness as light tears shone in her dark eyes. Keye was on the verge of losing it and letting this wave of joy rush over her and spill from her tear ducts.
There she was.
Shortly after, Keye skipped town that night with Leah and sealed her fate. She just disappeared. No one even realized she was gone, and her parents just thought that she went back to campus early. Leah was prone to disappearing spells, so there was no connection made there either apparently.
Maya’s head swum up out of the story and looked over at Leah who was leaning against the sink with her hands outstretched next to her, smiling softly at Keye.
“And after I moved in, I took this semester off—” Keye continued after a moment.
“Wait what?!” Maya snapped out of it and jerked her head toward Keye, her eyes wide with shock.
“My, come on,” Keye groaned, “What is it with you and school? It’s not that big a deal.” Keye said half heartedly.
Just because Maya had a vice grip on school didn’t mean everyone else needed to maintain that level of intensity to make school an important part of their lives. Just look at what it did to her and Paul. She willed her body to relax as she shook her head, glancing quickly at Leah for any back up and finding none.
“No, no,” Maya tried backpedaling, controlling the features on her face to remain impassive, “I just mean, I didn’t realize! I should have realized.”
Keye leveled her with an expectant stare, a small smile on her face. Maya was trying to keep her lips clamped shut so she didn’t ask the question she really wanted to ask.
After about thirty seconds though, Maya burst: “But why though?!”
So much for self control.
Keye couldn’t help but throw her head back and laugh. Leah looked on with a bit of concern on her face.
“Sometimes, things just work out that way, My. But don’t worry, I’ll go back and finish up,” Keye proclaimed, “Just for you.”
Maya smiled and shook her head. That soft concerned look was still pulling at Leah’s features as she continued to watch Keye carefully.
Maya spent the day putzing around Seattle with Leah and Keye visiting some of their favorite local haunts. They even stopped in a few local bookshops and let Maya wander for as long as she liked. She discovered some old chemistry books that she fell in love with and was thoroughly brightened despite the low hanging clouds over Seattle as they walked down hidden side streets.
The three grabbed lunch at a little sandwich shop not far from Leah’s bike shop. When Keye got up to use the bathroom, Maya casually stayed behind to Keye’s chagrin. Leah was trying to stuff the butt end of her meatball sub fully into her mouth, sauce dripping down her chin in an endearing way as she hunched her shoulders over the low table.
Leah had been pretty tight lipped about her estrangement from the pack but now that Maya had her alone, she wondered if without Keye’s constant frown whenever the pack was brought up, she could ask her about it.
“What?” Leah said around her mouthful. Maya hadn’t realized she had been staring, marveling even at this intensely, wonderful woman who had captured Keye’s heart and taken care of her best friend so completely.
“Nothing, sorry, I—” Maya stumbled and ran a hand through her shaggy hair, frizzed by the gentle rain they had walked through to get here. Maya exhaled through her nose trying to gather her thoughts about how to ask but instead, Leah spoke:
“You’re sure you want to go back?” Leah chewed valiantly and Maya couldn’t help but let her mouth hang open a bit in surprise. That wasn’t…. “No offense, but you seem torn. And I never try to make hard decisions when I’m on the fence.”
Maya closed her mouth abruptly and shook her head to try and clear any confusion that Leah could see in her eyes, “No, I…I need to go home. It’s time to go home. Not forever, but..just for now.”
“Tortured him enough, then?”
Maya’s eyes shot up to meet Leah’s in shock, but that feeling quickly faded when she saw that gleam of mischief in Leah’s eyes. She hadn’t meant it the way everyone else would have.
“I guess,” Maya shrugged. “I do miss him, though.” That was an understatement.
“Of course you do,” Leah tucked back into the table scavenging chips from Keye’s plate. “Regardless of what you know, and regardless of what you feel, the imprint should always show you true north,” the sound of crunching chips perforated Maya’s concentration, “Or so they say.”
“What do you think then? About the imprint, I mean, now that you have it?” Maya challenged. Leah took a moment, always thoughtful, never rash in her conversation. Just clear and true and decided.
“I think the imprint is different for everyone. So if anyone tries to tell you what to do with it, you should take that with a grain of salt. Listen to what it says to you, trust that,” Leah shrugged.
Maya paused at that and really tried to let that sink in. Everyone had tried to tell her what the imprint was meant to do, what it was based on legend. But it had been hard between her and Paul since the beginning. Some parts were easy, when they were just together and there was nothing else, but most other things were hard—harder than the other imprints at least. So much so, that Maya and Paul had wondered for a while if there was something wrong with them.
“I will say though,” Leah’s voice suddenly turned serious. Maya met her eyes and was taken aback by the sheer intensity at which they bored into her, “While I don’t know how your imprint works, I do know Paul.” Maya gulped, “And I can say without a doubt in my mind that he loves you with every cell in his body.”
Maya let out a sigh. She knew that of course and so she could only say as much, “I know.” Her voice came out hoarse.
“But he’s also a bit of an idiot. Emotionally, I mean. The guy was abandoned by everyone when he was a kid and then was swallowed by anger for most of his adult life. He’s only found his way through in maybe the past five years. That’s still no excuse for how he’s been with you, but still. That man comes with baggage and I do not envy you that task of unpacking it all,” Leah brushed her hands together to get off the excess crumbs.
There wasn’t enough that Maya knew about Paul’s past. He’d told her the basics, but she’d gotten more information about Paul’s dad from her own mother and that was a wobbly source.
“Speaking of members of the pack,” Maya said quickly, “do you think you’ll ever come back to the rez?”
Leah let out a gentle laugh and shook her head, “Not unless they need me.”
“Do they not need you now?” Maya quirked an eyebrow. Leah once again leveled her with that intense stare.
“Cute girls are always too brave for their own good,” Leah leaned back and stretched her arms behind Keye’s chair just as she slid back into it.
“You guys can stop talking about me now,” Keye said dramatically as she shook her hair away from her face. She shot Maya a knowing look to which she rolled her eyes.
Leah leaned forward just enough to kiss Keye’s shoulder and said softly, “Never, babe.”
------------------------------------------
—-<<Trigger warning: mentions of abortion in this next section>>---
Maya and Keye cuddled up in the guest bed that Maya was sleeping in with a laptop between them that night watching an old 90’s vampire movie. Leah had disappeared downstairs into her shop to get some work done.
As one of the main vampires looked out over a burning city, Keye readjusted her head on Maya’s shoulder as Yodel let out a soft sigh at the end of the bed. Somehow, it had felt like no time had passed at all.
“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” Keye asked softly. Maya stared at the screen as she tried to reconcile her worry into something else.
“I think so,” she breathed in and about before continuing, “It feels like the right time to go back. I don’t know how to explain it.”
“True north,” Keye muttered softly.
“Jesus, you guys really are in deep, huh?” Maya joked and Keye giggled.
“I don’t know, probably. She was there for me when everyone was either busy or gone. I don’t think that was the imprint either, she just…knew I needed her and she stayed,” Keye was quiet. Maya’s heart rate picked up as she realized her mistake in shutting everyone out. Even if Keye had said that she had understood why Maya did it, she knew she had hurt people who didn’t deserve it for the sake of her own peace. Keye, and a lot of others deserved more than that.
“Keye, I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I should have stayed in contact, I know that. It all just felt hard and this was easier. But I shouldn’t have done the easy thing….not when it comes to you or Becks,” Maya scrunched in closer to Keye.
“It really is okay, My. I get it. I disappeared too, you know. Just…tell us next time.”
“I promise,” Maya breathed. “But I don’t plan on disappearing again. I didn’t even mean to fully disappear before, it was just….easier that way. But it wasn’t fair to your or Becks, so I promise.”
The vampire on screen looked wide eyed at the little girl who was drinking from an older woman. She looked so small, so innocent. Her too-young youth, eternally frozen in time.
“I have to tell you something,” Keye breathed, her voice hitching at the end as if she was unsure.
“What?” Maya said softly, looking down at the side of her face. Keye sat up and Maya turned toward her, realizing that her face was pulled tight with pain. “What is it?” she reached for Keye’s hands that were clasped tightly in her lap but pulled back when she flinched slightly as if being touched might be too much at the moment. “Are you okay?”
“I am..I am. I really am. I need you to know that I am okay going into this,” Keye’s voice wobbled slightly as she sat up straight, before leaning back against the headboard.
“You’re kind of scaring me, Keye,” Maya said slowly as she pressed pause on the movie and sat up too, crossing her legs in front of her and turning her whole body to face Keye. The looks that flitted across her face were hard to read but as Keye bit her lip, Maya knew this was something more.
“I…” Keye began slowly, her eyes on her hands that fidgeted in her lap. Maya leaned over and covered both of her hands with her own. Keye swallowed hard, tears forming at the corner of her eyes but never falling before looking up at Maya.
There was silence, strong and solid between them, and Maya just let it hang there to give her the space to say what it was she needed to say.
“I left the rez because something h-happened,” Keye’s voice was quieter now and Maya listened carefully as soft rain started to patter on the windows above the bed. It was another few moments before Keye continued, “Colin and I were still dating and we were…things were going okay.”
A cold feeling slid into Maya’s stomach, but she held her breath to keep from thinking the worst.
“He and I were…well it doesn’t really matter, but things were going well and it was like…four days before Seth and Sadie’s wedding and I wasn’t really feeling good. Just kind of off you know?” Keye took in a breath and Maya heard the sound shudder through her, “And I…I thought that maybe I was…Fuck,” Keye wiped the tear that had escaped from the corner of her eyes and coasted down her cheek.
“You were what?” Maya asked softly, concern laid plainly on her face. Keye tilted her head and gave Maya a knowing look as she frowned. Maya waited.
“That I was pregnant,” Keye hiccuped softly and Maya let loose the breath.
“Oh.” The word came out small and barely there. Just above a whisper. Keye stared down at her hands again, playing with the tips of Maya’s fingers. “Were you?” Maya prompted gently, leaning her head down to capture Keye’s eyes.
Keye shut them tightly and the tears fiercely rolled now as she nodded.
“Okay, okay,” Maya looked over her shoulder toward the door wondering if Leah knew…if she knew Keye was… Her gaze flitted over Keye’s body to try and discern how far along she was, but she looked entirely the same. “How far along are—”
Maya was cut off by Keye shaking her head slowly, as hot tears continued to roll down her cheeks. Maya furrowed her brow, confused. Everything was coming at her so fast and she was just trying to piece every part of the puzzle together but felt like she was missing information. When realization dawned on her, her eyes widened with sadness, “You lost it…” she breathed. “Oh, Keye—” Maya reached out to stroke her shoulder, scooting closer but Keye stopped her.
“Not exactly.” Keye said, wetly. She swallowed hard and forced herself to sit up straight. Her eyes were harder now, and through the tears Maya thought she saw Keye watching her carefully for any reaction that would make her shutter completely. Maya’s mouth hung open again in momentary confusion before she said even softer, her breath barely a whisper, “Oh.”
She blinked rapidly as it all sank in. Of course. Maya kept her face neutral, soft, and open as she watched Keye watching her. Keye’s eyes flicked all around her face, trying to scan for any disapproval, or upset, and that made Maya worry that she had encountered some judgment from her circle.
Maya reached out and grasped Keye’s hand softly in hers and gave her a soft nod, “It’s okay, Keye. That’s totally your decision.”
But Keye was silent, watching her as if waiting for the other shoe to drop. Maya let the air hang between them a moment longer before she said, “Do you want to tell me about it?” Keye grimaced. “Or tell me why?” Keye crumbled slightly at that. “Let’s start with an easier question… And you don’t have to answer anything at all if you don’t want to. But, I want you to know that any answer you do give is enough reason and enough justification for the decision you made.” Maya dipped her head to meet Keye’s eyes. Only then did she see her gaze soften with trust again. “It’s enough,” she reinforced. Maya tried to emphasize that love with her eyes as well and held Keye’s gaze.
When Keye finally nodded, sagging with relief, Maya scooted closer so that their knees were touching, “When did you find out?” She wiped gently at Keye’s tears.
“Just after I met Leah…Like I said, I hadn’t been feeling great up until Seth and Sadie’s wedding, but after I met Leah, it was like I needed to know, you know?” Maya nodded and just let Keye go.
“I drove out of town to get a pregnancy test. That whole fucking tribe has eyes everywhere you know and I didn’t want to risk it getting back to…well, I bought three and I was in a fucking gas station bathroom in Beaverton with a full bottle of gatorade just…waiting for what felt like forever,” Keye stopped then and gulped down air.
Maya was pushing her hair out of her face and stroking her thumb over her hand. “And then it was like…everything stopped you know. It was real…three times it was real. And I….I panicked,” Keye was looking around the room now, the guilt just absolutely pulling her in different directions. “I didn’t want anyone to find out. At least until I could just think for a bit you know. You know how they are about babies, if they had gotten wind that I…and it was Colin’s? No way, game over.”
A fresh sob broke through Keye’s chest. She opened her mouth a couple of times to speak and couldn’t so Maya let her breathe through it, allowing her the space to continue or stop. But she carried on as if she needed to say it out loud, “I knew I didn’t want it, My. And I just felt….bad. I felt bad because, I don’t know…fuck I don’t know why should I feel bad, you know?” Maya just nodded. She understood guilt like that. “I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I couldn’t go back to the rez. And so I…I called Leah and she came and got me, no questions asked.”
Thank god, Maya thought. Thank god for Leah, because Maya could just see herself so clearly mirrored in this same situation. She was so grateful that her best friend had someone like Leah to come and protect her the way she needed to be protected.
“It took me a week to tell her. And she was just…ugh,” Keye reached for a tissue next to the bed and blew her nose before saying, “She was just perfect, you know? She knew just what to say and what to do and…” Keye’s eyes sparkled for a moment as she looked at Maya. Maya couldn’t help but give her a sad, knowing smile back.
“Yeah, yeah, imprints are great,” she joked, rolling her eyes before squeezing her hand. Keye smiled sadly, looking down at their joined hands.
“She told me that whatever I wanted to do, it was the right decision. And that I didn’t need to tell anyone if I didn’t want to, because it was my body. She was just…there. All the time for me. I-I don’t know if I could have done all this without her but…she held my hand through it all and I…” Keye looked up at Maya, her eyes sure and firm now, “I don’t regret it.”
Maya shook her head, “You shouldn’t. That was your decision, and I still love you just as you are.” Keye smiled, bigger this time and nodded.
“Still fucks with me though,” she said, resigned.
“Yeah well, they never said being a woman would be easy,” Maya pulled her into a tight hug. Keye held on so hard, she thought her ribs popped, “I love you.” Maya breathed into her hair.
For a while they just sat there, hugging, listening to each other breathe. Maya hoped her decisions
Jacob’s voice echoed and roiled in Paul’s ears as he worked away at the lower deck in the back garden. The cool November air whipped round Paul as he worked at setting wood planks on his foundation. The chill did nothing to bring down his temperature though. Paul was running more than hot these days—he was constantly burning up, as if an unbreakable fever clung to him since Maya left.
Left him.
Paul stalled, his hands stilling on the wood as he closed his eyes tightly against his last memory of her, tear stricken and shaking her head at him. I won’t. She had said to him that she wouldn’t stay. Not for anyone, not even for him. And that tore him to pieces and set him on fire. And ever since, he’d been burning.
Paul forced his eyes back open and worked to refocus them on that task at hand. Work on the house always gave him some temporary peace, but he could never truly escape that hollowness that deepened and ached, threatening to drive him mad before the first snow would melt.
He couldn’t even bring himself to go on rounds at this point. But no one blamed him. No one even came looking for him. He chalked that up to Jacob, citing space, citing time, citing…whatever it was Paul was supposed to find during his time of abandonment.
Because that’s what it was, anyway you shook it out, he was simply abandoned. Again.
Go see the elders.
Jacob’s voice persisted in his head, sounding firmer, angrier each time that Paul refused whether internally or externally. What would the elders do for him exactly? They got him into this mess in the first place. Setting unrealistic expectations, putting pressure on them, coaxing them along with arbitrary milestones. They wouldn’t let up with their pleading eyes and knowing conversations until Maya was pregnant. Jesus. Paul skated quickly away from that thought and continued working on the deck.
Plus, what could the elders say to him now? Maya was gone, and all he could do was hope that she’d come back. A ripple of anger ran down Paul’s spine as he gritted his teeth. Suddenly he felt like he was six years old again, sitting on the stoop of his dad’s double wide as thunder promised rain overhead. Waiting for someone who might never return. He hated that feeling. And what he hated more was how that anger that he once thought was well and truly tempered began to roil viciously within him again.
Go see the elders.
Jacob’s tone turned into a rough growl in his head and Paul couldn’t stand it anymore. The hammer that had gone so still in his hand now shook and he reared back before hurling it with all his might without a care of where it landed. It connected with something far off, a tree perhaps, that shook its occupants free and had them flying off in a hurry.
Paul let out a harsh breath as he tried to swallow the well of emotion building in him. If he was being honest, he hadn’t done so well since Maya had left. To be fair, that might actually be an understatement. As hot, unshed tears brimmed his dark eyes, he stood with his hands lightly rested on his hips.
“Fine,” he said to no one in particular, “I’ll go see the elders.” Paul headed off in the direction of his lost hammer.
--------------------------------------------
The next morning, Maya and Keye stumbled into the kitchen together after having fallen asleep, exhausted from their conversation the night before.
Today was the day Maya planned to return to La Push and she would be lying if she wasn’t a bit nervous.
But, even more nerve wracking was Keye’s request to drive her into the rez. After last night, Keye had woken up feeling better, but she had told Maya sleepily that she needed to go home to fix some things too.
It only made sense that she would come with her, but still, the thought of Keye having another conversation last night made Maya ache, especially if she wouldn’t be as accepted by the others—least of all the council.
But Keye had assured her that Leah and her had talked about this and that she felt ready after unloading a little on Maya last night. She could do it and even more so, she felt like she needed to, to continue to heal and grow past it.
Now, hunched over their individual bowls of cereal as Leah watched from her place leaned up against the counter, both women held an air of dread about them.
Leah took a bite of cereal and said suddenly to Maya: “You know he’s going to know you’re there as soon as you cross the boundary, right?”
At this, Maya couldn’t help a small shiver run through her. He’d know she was there, but what he would do about it was still up in the air.
A few hours later, Keye pulled up the familiar, neatly paved driveway to the house. If it wasn’t for the familiar blue stone, Maya might not have even clocked that they were at her house. There’s been so much work done to it, almost as if someone frantically decided to build with unbridled purpose and determination.
“Holy shit,” Keye breathed as she looked through her windshield of Leah’s Subaru. They both sat in stunned silence for a moment, mouths slightly agape. Then Maya replied weakly,
“Yeah.”
The little blue house wasn’t so little anymore.
“Did you know he was—uh,” Keye faltered to complete her sentence so Maya just answered:
“No. This is…” Maya was lost for words.
“Yeah,” Keye breathed. Finally, she tore her eyes away from the house and looked over at Maya. “So, are you ready?”
“Are you?” Maya said back just as hesitantly. Keye considered it for a moment and then just shrugged.
“Yeah, why not?” She answered with a small smile. Maya exhaled a breath through her nose and nodded. Why not.
She pushed open the door and stood slowly on the dark paved driveway that was dotted with solar lights that would guide her in at night. She grabbed her duffel bag and backpack from the backseat and shut both doors with purpose.
Keye only pulled back up the driveway once Maya had opened the front door. But Maya stayed frozen on the threshold for a moment, marveling at what lay within.
The quaint front entryway had been completely opened and transformed into a wide open expansive living room that wrapped around the staircase that was now exposed on either side. Off to the right of the living room where there had only been a stone wall before, Paul had put in a cozy office, the entryway was arched and held two driftwood french doors, the glass mingling perfectly with the hand carved wood.
Maya peeked in, her eyes coasting over the back wall behind the raw edged desk that was packed books in the floor to ceiling bookshelves. An oversized, plush chair was nestled neatly next to the bookshelves and the bay window that looked out into the woods. A small iron fireplace had been installed in a free corner. It was…perfect for lack of a better word.
Maya spun on her heel and carried on toward the back of the house. The kitchen had been further expanded, a large warm wood island stretched across the expansive green tile. New appliances had been installed, the cabinets fitted and hand carved with intricate designs to heighten the simplicity of the sleek and soft kitchen around it.
Someone had been busy. Maya wrapped her arms around herself and glanced across the space. It was all so beautiful and different. But it still somehow felt like her home. It held the exact warmth and memory as before, just opened more to welcome new memories.
Outside the sun was beginning to sink lower in the sky into the late afternoon. She pushed aside the long sliding glass door and stepped out onto the deck. A hanging bed flocked in white gossamer curtains and shaded by a partially covered pergola hung seductively off to the side. The deck had been expanded to include three levels, each holding a different space to gather with cozy chairs, firepits, and hand carved weather-proofed wooden tables.
The most impressive thing that she had seen thus far though was the renovated workshop. Paul had completely rebuilt it, expanded it, and settled it a little further back onto the neighboring property. It almost looked the size of his studio in Seattle now, but he had built the entire front with reclaimed antique windows so that she could easily see into the intricate workspace within.The beveled glass glittered in the winter sun and made the entire backyard sparkle. It even held a second story loft that looked out toward the ocean.
The cold November breeze rolled over Maya and she took a deep breath. She knew the kind of frenzied state he must have been in when he started building all of this. As a distraction. To keep him from feeling that hollowing pain that she herself felt almost every day when she had left. It was heartbreaking what they’d done to each other. But there was no getting around it now.
Still, the most surprising thing was, he wasn’t here. Maya looked over her shoulder back into the house. Maybe she could find the keys to her Jeep, now neatly tucked away in the newly built two-car garage in the adjacent lot that Paul must have purchased to make all of these renovations.
With Paul nowhere in sight, she let out a long breath. She guessed she could go to Emily and Sam’s and look for him there. That’s what she needed to do—she needed to find him.
------------------------------------------------
February, 9 months ago…
Paul stood on the aging and worn steps of the last elder front porch in the icy rain that was oscillating annoyingly into sleet. As he looked around the front porch, shirtless and drenched in cold rain that steamed off of him, he noticed the wood rot close to the house where the porch met and made a mental note to come back and repair it once the weather cleared.
After a few more seconds, Elder Ti’Hal slowly pulled open the door, a wool woven shawl hanging heavy over her shoulders. Her bright white hair was braiding neatly into two plaits.
Elder Ti’Hal was truly ancient. And Paul didn’t mean that in a negative way at all. She radiated the distilled essence and teachings of their tribe. She was an elder before Paul was even born and he’d never known her without her bright white hair framing her wrinkled, warm face.
She still managed to move fairly quickly and with agility that wouldn’t normally be attributed to someone of her age, but that was the mystery of elder Ti’Hal. She also never attended council meetings or bonfires anymore, and instead preferred to stay in her quiet cottage in the forest that she had shared with her husband before his passing over two decades ago.
“Paul Lahote,” she said softly. “To what do I owe this very wet appearance?”
Paul scowled off to the side, his jaw clenching so hard he thought his teeth might crack. He hadn’t realized it, but he was breathing heavily, his shoulders rising and falling with the effort of it. When he didn’t answer she just nodded gravely.
“Come in,” she walked back into her small, warm, wooden home and Paul only hesitated for a second in the cold rain before he ducked under the tiny threshold and entered. “Let me get you a towel,” she grumbled.
“Don’t bother,” he said, his tone coming out harsher than he intended.
“For my couch then,” she was already digging in the small linen closet and produced a worn, threadbare towel that she draped across her couch for gesturing to it. “Sit.” she commanded.
Paul had forgotten how bossy the elders were. He trudged across the living room, careful not to trip on the woven Quileute rug before he slumped down onto the couch in a huff. A warm fire crackled off to his left and Elder Ti’Hal had disappeared around a corner into her tiny kitchen and was clanging around with a kettle.
“Do you want to start or should I?” Elder Ti’Hal called from the kitchen. Paul was still breathing heavily, the ache in his stomach crescendoing to a harsh beat. He may have groaned painfully in response, but he was too distracted by the unrelenting pain the imprint was causing him. “Right,” Elder Ti’Hal came around the corner with two hand thrown mugs in her hand steaming with what Paul hoped was something stronger than tea.
She handed him his mug and when he took a whiff, he nearly threw it begrudgingly into the fire.
“What pains you today, Paul Lahote?” she began. Paul shook his head, trying to find the right place to start, but nothing came to him, so instead he said,
“Why do you always do that?”
“Do what?” she sipped slowly from her mug.
“Call me by my first and last name. It’s not like you haven’t known me before I was born. Both names seem overkill don’t you think?”
He shifted uncomfortably on the warm, plush couch as she leveled him with her gaze and took her time answering.
“It’s more to remind you than me,” she said cryptically. Paul scoffed:
“Oh believe me, I know who I am.”
“Do you?” she replied quickly. Paul glared at her full on now and leaned forward, his mug still cradled between both hands.
“She didn’t come home for Christmas. She didn’t come home for Seth and Sadie’s wedding. Nothing. Not a fucking peep from her,” he could feel the tension in his body snap, the anger flowing through his veins freely now. He trembled slightly—this wasn’t his first time having to channel unchecked rage through himself and he doubted Ti’Hal would appreciate him exploding into a giant wolf and shredding her comfortable living room to pieces.
Instead, Paul glued his eyes to the fire, trying to let the anger move through him and then out of him to be consumed and burned away by the fire. But every time he breathed in, it felt like ash flooding his mouth, the embers of that anger still hotter than anything else within him.
“What does one do with so much anger?” she posed the question suddenly. Paul looked up at her wide-eyed as if shocked by the fact that she could see it on him. He was naive to think that much anger wouldn’t still be palpable to someone as attuned as her. Paul rolled his jaw and sat staring at her, waiting for the anger to ebb, but it wouldn’t.
Fuck.
Elder Ti’Hal settled back into her large armchair covered in different soft, worn blankets. When it was clear he wasn’t going to respond, she glanced out the window, watching the rain settle into a gentle drizzle.
“What do you think the imprint is, Paul?” her voice was warm with a gentle thrum to it like dried maize kernels pouring into a stone bowl. Comforting, consistent. It was maddening to say the least, so Paul continued in his aggravated tone, feeling the heat rise on his skin.
“An anchor for packmates. A promise for imprints. It’s a reason to stay.”
“Hmm,” she breathed, her eyes still on the window watching the rain make trails to the muddied window ledge. Paul huffed, rubbing his hands against his knees with impatience. A fucking waste of time, he thought as he clenched his jaw. “But it wasn’t reason enough for her to stay?”
When her eyes slowly drifted back toward him, Paul looked ready to burst into flames.
“Clearly not. I can’t go get her because I’ve been ordered to stay away, but also….she doesn’t want me to come,” his voice was quiet. He waited for her to speak again but she just stared at him sadly. A deathly calm rolled over him and he thought that if Ti’Hal didn’t say something soon, he might just give up and collapse in on himself like a dying star.
“What is it then? The imprint?” Paul asked, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice.
Ti’Hal smiled slowly, warmth creeping into her eyes as she tilted her head to the side and surveyed Paul thoroughly. She took her time before she finally said:
“A choice.”
Paul tried to quiet the tremors radiating through his body. If the imprint was a choice, then Maya had clearly not chosen him. Never. Not even from the start. The thought of it made his blood boil. His face twisted in rage before he spat out.
“What the fuck does that mean? How is it a fucking choice when it’s supposedly pre-ordained from the ancestors? That makes no fucking sense, you know that right?” Paul was on his feet without remembering when exactly he stood up. His hands were curled into fists and his chest was rising and falling quickly. He needed to calm down. If he could just calm down he could…
Ti’Hal just watched him with that serene look on her face, as if nothing fazed her anymore and the anger of a full blown werewolf couldn’t even shake her. Paul tried breathing, closing his eyes, counting to ten, but nothing could quell this desperate anger that spiraled and felt like lead dropping into the bottom of his stomach.
Why was it always like this? This anger? It was like a tide that he couldn’t escape. Like clockwork it would just rush over him and pull him under in seconds and there was nothing he felt like he could do about it. It was an exposed wire in his veins just ticking and twitching with so much heat and sharpness that he felt his skin would burn away and leave him exposed and vulnerable.
“Have you given her a choice?” Ti’Hal’s voice cut through the raging quiet like a whip, but her voice still remained calm. He tried to focus on that—that there was calm to be achieved and he could reach it. He could reach the shore if he just stayed calm. He was panting, losing his breath every moment he kept himself solid and here.
“I thought I did…but I wasn’t given one either,” he thought back to the moment the imprint had happened. Seeing her there across the fire. It was like an instant salve to a long forgotten pain. And then in the next moment, he was all resistance and rage again. Nothing felt like a choice when it came to the imprint. “We…we didn’t have time to make that choice,” Paul tried to slow his breathing. Calm, in and out, just like the waves. Not sinking but drifting.
“Some see the imprint as a gift, but that’s also just a choice wrapped up in a nice bow, in my opinion. It is a choice, Paul Lahote. You’ve made plenty in your very short life so far, but it is one that you give to her and wait until she makes it. It’s a question, and not a command and it can take many forms. You’re part is making sure you ask her the right one,” she watched his body language shift ever so slightly. “Miss Sunriviere was told that you were her imprint, told that there was to be in a relationship, and then told what her life would most likely be, in so many words.” Paul opened his mouth to retort but she continued anyway, “You are her choice. So ask the question and be patient for once. And most importantly, be vulnerable to her answer,” Ti’Hal took a moment to sip her tea. Paul tried to let those words sink in.
He was vulnerable with her. Her absence had nearly destroyed him, was that not vulnerable enough?
“No, not that,” Ti’Hal responded as if she could hear his thoughts. Paul’s eyes widened.
“What’s the question, then? The one I should ask?” Paul said desperately, his voice rasping as he realized he had been holding his body tensely throughout Ti’Hal’s speech.
“Start with the answer you want and work your way back from there,” she gave a cryptic smile and stood, disappearing behind her kitchen door and singing softly to herself, unceremoniously excusing him.
Paul stood there for a while longer, rapidly breathing, and listening to Ti’Hal singing the songs of his childhood in her kitchen, muffled and sweet.
------------------------------------------
The door to her Jeep shut with a sharp click as Maya shrugged on her cropped puffy jacket. Much as she had suspected, the keys to Maya’s Jeep were in the sun visor, as if waiting for her. The whole drive to Sam and Emily’s felt…calm. As if she were driving toward something rather than into something. There was no sweeping dread, no overwhelming nervousness—she just felt ready. She chocked that up to just time. The time away had made her ready for home, refreshed her.
Sam and Emily’s looked the same as it always did—warm and inviting with a steady stream of smoke coming from the chimney. It was familiar and as she took in a deep breath, the cold November air spiced with pine and fallen leaves, with a hint of the salty Pacific sent a pleasant reassuring thrum through her body.
Maya stood by her Jeep for a moment just taking it in, before the potential chaos—whether it would be angry or joyful—would be wrought on her. Just the quiet creak of the forest, a distant river rushing toward the sea, and muffled laughter booming from within the home.
Maya took a deep breath and took a couple of steps forward, her feet crunching on the wet gravel. She hadn’t made it more than a few steps when the screen door opened and Paul walked out slowly onto the porch, hands in the pockets of his dark jeans. Maya halted, her breath caught in her throat as her eyes met his.
She braced herself for whatever awaited her, but still that pulsing calm spread through her. It all felt…alright. And she hadn’t felt that way in so long. She watched in for just a moment as he stood on the top step of the porch, his face neutral before it broke into an earth shattering smile.
Maya could have sobbed at the sight of it. He sauntered down the steps toward and it took all of her self control not to break into a full on sprint to quickly close the distance between them. Somehow she managed a quick walk and nearly crashed into his body, but he held her fast, one arm coming out to wrap around her waist as his other hand cupped her jaw. He peered down at her, that warm smile still spilling sunshine in every direction and she stared up at him, eyes glittering with unshed tears.
He shook his head lightly and smiled, as his thumb reached up to gently brush across her lower lip, parting them softly.
“You came home,” he said gently, the emotion clearly wavering in his deep voice. Maya nearly crumbled at his touch. She was home.
“Yes,” she said simply, her voice barely above a whisper. “I thought it was…time,” she paused when he raised his eyebrows at her, a hint of humor and warmth in his eyes then quickly clarified: “For a visit.”
But this didn’t seem to faze him. He just nodded gently, humming in acceptance with that warm, pleased look on his face as he took her all in. There was a palpable vibration happening between them, what Maya could only assume was a physical manifestation of the imprint’s tension.
The last time she had seen him on the rez was over a year ago. And yet, time washed away and parted to let them stand there together again as if nothing had passed, as if this was any other day. Comfortable.
Maya’s hands shook she gripped the sides of his abdomen. She’d come all this way to say….to say what exactly? Her mouth parted softly but nothing came out. She needed to say something, anything. The silence stretched between them and Maya just couldn’t let it hang there any longer. How could she? After he had left her in that hotel room, and how it had felt coming home again—she needed to tell him everything.
He was tall, god so tall, he towered over her really, and yet she felt like his matching pair.
“Welcome home,” he said gently, his nose nuzzling hers gently.
Maya looked up at him curiously, her eyes slightly narrowed as she took him in. His dark beard was closely trimmed to his face, and his hair was a bit shorter than the last time she saw it. He looked good. Well, he always looked good, but this was different.
His eyes seemed bright, not clouded with the anger or jealousy she had seen back in the spring. No, this Paul felt solid, for once. The light was shining on his face, his color back to its warm russet, flush with heat and health. Everything felt simpler.
And with the confusion and despair that had once clung to that hollowness in her stomach from the imprint’s ache clearing completely, she felt like she could see clearly for the first time in awhile. She was worried momentarily that maybe it was just the trick of the imprint, beckoning her in—a salve to her burning anxiety.
But staring up at Paul, there was an openness there that hadn’t been there before. Something that she wanted to discover and ask him about. For now though, as his hand slowly threaded into her hair and pulled her close, this was all that she needed.
Finally, after watching her with such intensity, such heat, as if trying to rememorize every part of her face he lowered his head toward hers and crashed their lips together. It was like coming up for air after swimming beneath a current for too long. His kiss pressed new life into her and she arched her body fully into his, her curve slotting into the shape of his body just so as he held her against him.
Paul moved his mouth over hers, slow and wanting, washing the ache of their absence away. There was no succumbing this time, just an equal measure of elation at being together again, and Maya felt that familiar sensation of something clicking into place and she saw it for what it was: being in the right place at the right time.
She sighed into his mouth and heard him give a soft groan of pleasure before the air rang with the hoots and howls of his brothers. He pulled back gently, his eyes hooded and soft as he looked at her. Paul glanced over his shoulder at his pack crowded onto the porch and gave a gentle laugh before looking back, his eyes shining with something new as he said gruffly, “I guess they missed you too.”
Maya swallowed thickly and laughed, not willing to let go of him first. But he took her cue and said, “Come inside, I’m sure they all have a million questions.” Paul kissed her forehead before turning and slotting her neatly into his side as they walked the short distance to the porch.
“Hey, hey Ivy League!” Jared crooned.
“Welcome back, My,” Seth said softly.
“We needed a little more brains around here,” Colin laughed as Brady shoved him lightly.
“Maya?!” a soft, female voice floated out from the front door as Maya and Paul climbed the porch steps. Becks pushed her way through the pack crowded on the porch and started sobbing instantly upon seeing her. She was heavily pregnant, and Jacob wasn’t far behind her as she nearly dropped into Maya’s arms in a hug, squeezing her so tightly she thought she cracked a rib.
“Oh my god!” she cried into her shoulder. Maya chuckled and rubbed soft circles on her back as she looked over her shoulder at Jacob who shrugged and looked lovingly at his hormonally devastated wife. Becks pulled back to look at Maya, her face puffy and tear stricken, “You absolute JERK!” Maya barked a laugh at that and tried to wipe some tears away from Becks’ cheeks. “Don’t ever disappear on me like that again. I thought— I thought—,”
“I know. I’m sorry,” Maya said, pulling her best friend back into a hug. “I should have texted.” Becks hiccuped a sound of disapproval, “Or called.” Maya corrected. When she pulled back, Becks nodded, seemingly trying to get herself calm as Jacob settled a hand on her lower back. Maya’s eyes widened as she took in just how pregnant she was.
“Yeah, I know,” Becks said disappointed, “He’s like a week late.” She truly looked exhausted and the size of her belly stretched to almost painful extent. Jacob rubbed her back and leaned down to kiss her temple.
“He’ll come soon, babe,” he promised. “Plus, Maya’s here. That’s literally all the good luck we need to induce your labor. Like last time.”
Maya laughed again and shrugged, “Just no vampire delivery this time, right?” she quipped. Jacob rolled his eyes.
“Jesus, I hope it doesn’t come to that. But, Carlisle is on standby if the water birth stalls or we need quick intervention,” Jacob said nonchalantly.
“What the fuck is a water birth?” Brady whispered to no one in particular.
“Come inside, come inside,” Becks waved a hand and with Paul’s hand on her waist gently, Maya let the warm, comforting Uley home swallow her up.
They stayed at Sam and Emily’s until late in the evening, laughing and swapping stories. Paul stayed next to her, his presence relaxed and content, which was so unlike the tense and overwhelmingly protectiveness he had always exhibited before she left.
She glanced over at him a couple times, and each time, he caught her eye and gave her a smile. One that promised nothing but exactly what he was in that moment. And it made her…happy.
When she started to yawn, Paul took that as an opportunity to lean over and whisper softly against her ear, “Let’s go home.”
Maya nodded immediately and they said their quick goodbyes to those remaining there, promising to come back tomorrow for lunch and babywatch.
When they pulled up to the house in Maya’s Jeep, she couldn’t stifle her laughter quickly enough before Paul looked toward her amused and said:
“You don’t like it?” he asked, not even a little offended. If she didn’t know any better, there might be a slight teasing tone to his voice.
“No, no! It’s beautiful, I—,” she shut her eyes tightly to quell the rising emotion in her stomach from burning behind her eyes for too long. “It’s beautiful, Paul. You’ve clearly been busy, but I’m not sure why you did all this work.” Liar, the voice inside her quipped.
The corner of Paul’s mouth pulled up in a smug grin beneath his closely trimmed beard, “Bullshit,” he replied, maybe to that voice in her head. Maya blushed and shook her head at the soft teasing tone.
They hopped out of the car and came around the front into each other’s sides, arms weaving effortlessly over each other’s waists like magnets pulled them together, as they walked toward the house.
“Well, why else would you feel the need to renovate our entire house? It’s not like we needed to. The house was…fine, before,” she swallowed a gasp on the last two words as Paul confidently reached for her hip and tugged her closer, pulling her body flush with his. He stopped her, his other hand came up to rest on the side of her neck and threaded through her hair at the nape of her neck.
He chuckled and Maya felt the warm rumbling vibration of it stumble through her body and land in her belly. “Shut up,” he said with a gentle smile. Maya couldn’t help her returning grin before she quickly wiped it from her face.
“Seriously, if this is what happens every time I leave, I’m going to have to have someone confiscate your power tools,” his warm breath fanned across her face as he sighed, his eyes dancing around taking her all in in this light. How did he do that? Look at her like he was seeing the most incredible thing he’d ever laid eyes upon for the first time, and yet, the familiarity of his gaze said he’d known her forever, lifetimes before even. She let her hands rest on his chest now as she looked up at him.
“I forgot how much of a little shit you are,” he teased.
“Me?! Really, you're a menace to homes everywhere—” Maya was cut off as she shrieked with delight as Paul growled, squeezing her hip and biting her neck, his rough stubble tickling beneath her chin as he backed her over the threshold of the house and kicked the door shut behind him.
Once inside, he grabbed her under her thighs and carried her effortlessly up the stairs toward their bedroom, his mouth never leaving hers. Maya wrapped her arms around his neck, letting herself sink deeper into the kiss. Nothing was hurried—for once.
When he lowered her gently onto the bed, his hands coasted across her thighs and unbuttoned her jeans. He peeled them off her slowly, kissing down her body and pausing to press an open mouthed kiss to delicate V between her thighs. Maya watched him, her eyes hooded with desire as he took his time kissing back up her bare legs once her jeans were discarded, pulling her shirt up now and peppering the expanse of her belly with warm pecks.
Maya sighed, a small moan escaping as made his way up between her breasts, swiftly pulling her shirt up over her head and burying his face in her neck, the stubble scraping against the soft skin and making goosebumps rise across her breasts.
Paul was slow and methodical in how he worshiped her, his hands touching every part of her, pausing to measure just how well she fit in his hands. Maya felt it too and an overwhelming sense of contentment rushed through her. The imprint bond that normally rang so clear through her during a time like this was completely silent. She didn’t pay it much mind though as Paul quickly unsnapped her bra and pulled back the delicate lace before encasing her nipple in his mouth. Maya’s back arched off the bed and Paul’s hand traced the shape of it.
His thigh nestled neatly between her legs and Maya couldn’t help but seek friction desperately there, grinding down on him and rolling her hips as he tugged gently at her nipple with his teeth, biting softly across the swell of her chest to her other breast.
Maya was panting with desire, rolling her hips as her eyes flutter shut to simply exist in this moment with him. She heard the soft swish of his t-shirt coming off and the familiar hum of his zipper. When she opened her eyes, he was standing and discarding his clothes, fully naked at the end of the bed and he simply looked—gorgeous. Maya’s breath caught in her throat as she leaned up to look at him. His throat bobbed in equal adoration as he leaned over her, his fingers ghosting across her hips and slowly slipping her panties down her thighs. He kissed her bent knee as he slipped the lacy garment over it and when she was fully naked beneath him, he let out a well deserved sigh. His eyes raked in every inch of her as if drinking her in. Maya was propped up on her elbows, her eyes softened as she slowly let her knees drop to either side, baring herself to him.
She was already dripping—she knew that. Paul licked his lips and kneeled between her, not wasting anymore time as he bit gently on her thigh before leaning in to devour her. His tongue, flat and warm, seemed to touch every part between her thighs and Maya threw her head back, letting out a sharp moan. He let her settle on his tongue, tasting her, relishing her scent, as he held her there, his hands anchored firmly on her hips. His mouth sucked and pulled at her clit, his tongue darting into her opening, as a groan rumbled from his throat and through her body.
Maya was cresting, light bursting behind her eyes as she whimpered through her release. She twitched against his tongue and only then did he lean up, his eyes glazed with lust and love so intertwined that she thought she’d melt into the mattress.
Paul ran his hands over her body again, reverently, as if to prove something to himself and Maya shivered. The ache growing inside of her was present, persistent, but he leaned down slowly, taking her mouth over his and she sighed into it. Their breath mingled, mixing, and Maya felt like she was coming home all over again.
He wrapped his arm down around her back and shifted her up the bed, but before she could settle onto the pillows, he whipped her over him and Maya straddled his abdomen. Her eyes sparkled, and she couldn’t help but smile. Paul almost always preferred to have her beneath him when he claimed her, but in this moment, his eyes shone with a desire to see her claim every part of him.
Maya let her hands run down his chest, memorizing the hard expanse, the ripples and lines that made him strong and immovable. His chest rose and fell in quick breaths as if her fingertips were tracing some new pattern of love into his skin. Maya slowly traced over each dip and line of muscle, her eyes trained to each small freckle or scar, taking him all in.
His hands gripped her hips tightly, kneading the soft flesh that creased between her hip and thigh and she smiled. “You are torturing me,” he rasped, his eyes dark and desperate. Maya glanced up at his face and just smiled softly.
“I’m just remembering,” she replied barely above a whisper. Paul pressed his thumbs into that delicate crease where her hips met each of her thighs and pressed. A shot of lightning struck between her legs and a soft gasp fell from her lips.
“Remembering what?” he asked, so soft, so gentle. A sweet juxtaposition to the hard bodied, giant man that lay wanting and ready beneath her. Maya’s fingers paused over where his heart lay thumping wildly in his chest.
“What it feels like to come home,” she replied, as she lifted her hips and pressed him against her center. She slid down onto him slowly, feeling the warm stretch of him. A feral groan ripped from Paul as she sank onto his hilt, her hips neatly connected to his. She feel his hands flex as they gripped and loosened on her thighs. Maya braced herself on his stomach, taking in deep, stuttering breaths as she tried to get used to the sheer size of him again. As he twitched inside of her, she let out a soft “Ah!” as she clenched around him. She was so sensitive. Being fully in control had set her body alight and Paul waited for her to move, groaning each time she inadvertently squeezed him inside of her.
When she lifted slightly, Paul braced her between his hands, helping to raise her hips. His eyes were glued to where they connected as the sheen of her slick coated every exposed inch of him. Maya raised herself halfway up his shaft before slowly settling back down onto him working herself into a slow and languid pace.
Maya watched his eyes, sharp and dark as they took in every bit of movement. He was in absolute awe, completely taken by the shape of her and Maya felt completely in control.
Her mouth hung open in unadulterated want as she quickened her pace on top of him. Rolling and sliding her hips against him. Paul’s hands tightened and loosened of their own accord as if he had to remind himself to let go a little so he wouldn’t bruise her.
With each roll of her hips, that ache was replaced with warm relief and she felt a whole body shiver rush through her as Paul started chanting her name. She needed him closer, as she felt her tits swell and ache from her impending release. As if he heard her, Paul leaned up, connecting their bodies. His chest pressed flush against hers, but Maya didn’t stop bucking her hips against his. Paul wrapped his arms around her body, nipping along her collarbone, his moans echoing across the room as Maya threw her head back, panting and cursing.
She felt him release first, and it took her over the edge. Paul’s eyes were closed tightly as he shuddered through his release and Maya curved in on herself as she let go, her body clenching to him tightly with wave after wave of pleasure as if she was trying to rinse herself through.
Finally, she collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily into the crook of his neck. He placed a hand behind her head and stroked gently, kissing her temple as he tried to slow his breathing.
Still, the imprint was silent. Maya wasn’t complaining, it was just…strange.
“Welcome home,” he breathed. Maya chuckled and buried her head in his neck as she let sleep overtake her in one fell swoop
The next morning, Maya awoke slowly. She was keenly aware of Paul’s body behind hers, his arms wrapped lightly around her waist. Rain pattered gently on the windows and she had to admit that she hadn’t felt this content waking up in a long while.
Paul stirred gently behind her, kissing her shoulder as Maya rubbed her hand over his forearm. They stretched into one another, Paul groaning sleepily as she turned in his arms.
“Good morning,” he said gently, his eyes barely open. Maya bit her lower lip and smiled.
“Morning.”
“Do you have plans today?” he asked nonchalantly. Maya quirked an eyebrow and stifled a laugh.
“No, I don’t think so. These are my plans, what about you?” she said in only a slightly teasing tone.
“Yeah, I want to show you something,” he opened his eyes fully now, looking down at her and Maya looked at him carefully. Not a bit of hesitation in those eyes, she noticed. “Will you come?”
“Sure,” Maya breathed. She didn’t know why but her stomach erupted with butterflies. He gave her a warm smile and closed his eyes again pulling her closer as he settled back into sleep.
Later that afternoon, once the rain had stopped and Maya was bundled in her heavy winter coat and rain weathered hiking boots. Paul was dressed simply in jeans and a black t-shirt, his hair neatly coiffed to the side as if he had tried to tidy it up just a little bit.
Paul drove them into the woods and parked in a clearing. He led her through the forest and they walked for nearly an hour along sloping pathways and fern covered earth. Paul carried her over fallen trees and helped her down rain slicked slopes until the pathways went decidedly up and up.
“Where are we going?” Maya laughed as she breathed in the briney air, her cheeks flushed red with heat and exertion. Paul looked back at her over his shoulder and squeezed her hand.
“Almost there,” he reassured her.
Once they broke through the treeline, Maya knew where they were headed and her heart began to race.
It was the cliff from her dream all those years ago. Where the wolf had beckoned her forward.
“Paul what are we—” she began as they started up the slope of the cliff.
“When you were gone, I went and saw the elders,” he began not looking at her. Maya stopped and her hand fell from his.
“Oh?” she couldn’t say that that filled her with the reassurance she was hoping for. The elders had been incredibly intrusive throughout their relationship. “What for?” she probed.
Paul took a few more steps forward toward the jutting edge of the cliff that pulled out over the water. “I was looking for advice and they didn’t really offer me much…until I saw Ti’Hal,” Maya’s eyes widened at that and she followed him a couple steps onto the cliff.
“Ti’Hal?” She was shivering, not from the cold but from something else. Nerves? She couldn’t place it. No one ever went to Ti’Hal. She was the tribe’s oldest advisor, never came to council meetings anymore, and was a recluse for lack of a better term. Still, she was revered within her community and if you did seek her out, there needed to be a very good reason. She didn’t give away her time easily.
Paul looked out over the cliffs, the wind whipping around him as he put a hand in his pocket. “I was trying to figure out what to do about us.” Maya’s stomach dropped at that. Paul still didn’t look at her and she felt like she was waiting for other shoe to drop, “I was miserable without you Maya, I think you know that.”
“Paul—” Maya tried again.
“No. Let me get this out,” he breathed harshly, turning to look at her finally, his eyes were burning. “Let me, please.” He nearly begged. Maya swallowed hard and nodded. He looked out again for a couple of heartbeats before he continued, turning to look back at her but staying close to the cliffs edge.
“I was miserable without you. I had no idea what to do about the imprint, how to get you back. It was driving me insane. Actually insane. I didn’t phase back for a few months because I couldn’t handle being without you and lending myself to that animal side was simpler. But that started to make everything worse….I felt like..I was dying without you. And that terrified me.”
Indeed his eyes were pained and dark and Maya thought the pain of it would reach out and shatter her. That the imprint would begin to tug her closer. But it didn’t. It was odd.
“I just wanted it all to stop. If you wanted to stay away, be without me, I wanted you to have that and for me not to feel this way anymore. So, I tried to figure out the bond the imprint made. At one point I even asked…I even considered…trying to break it,” his voice was so defeated and Maya couldn’t help a soft sob from escaping her throat at the thought of it. “I was in so much pain, I just…”
Maya took another small step forward and he continued, determined. “Still, the elders had no advice. The imprint would pull you back to me. There would be no other option but that. And then I saw Ti’Hal. I realized after talking with her that I got the imprint all wrong. I got us all wrong,” his eyes were hard now as they looked past her, through her.
Was this some sort of sick joke? Fear shot through Maya as she thought the absolute worst.
“Paul, wait,” Maya said, holding her hand out.
“No, My,” he shook his head, “Let me finish.”
“I don’t want you to,” she nearly had to yell over the wind, “Please, let’s just go home.”
Paul shook his head, a smile now bursting over his face and Maya had to swallow her tears to keep from letting the panic sink in.
“You have no idea how much I love you,” he said gently. Maya’s eyes widened and she took a step forward. Please don’t let it be bad. “I realized that because of the imprint and because of what everyone thought it meant, you were never given a choice in all this. I was never given a choice in all this.” Maya started to shake her head to stop him, to make him listen, he couldn’t leave her like this. It wasn’t fair.
“Please,” she choked.
“I decided I wanted to make a choice in all this. And you deserve one too,” his eyes on her were hard. And he took one step forward but then, he shrank from her eyeline getting onto both of his knees. He was actually kneeling before her, his hand now out of his pocket holding something. “I want you to choose me because it’s what you want. I want a life with you and I want us to create that together. Not because of the imprint or because of what is expected. But because you love me and I love you. I want…I want so bad to marry you, My. Will you marry me?”
The shiny glimmer of tears caught in the corners of his eyes as he stared up at her. Maya took the last few steps toward him slowly, her mouth open in shock as tears flowed freely over her cheeks now. The ring glittered in his hands, a large oval shaped diamond set in a delicate gold band. Maya was crying completely now, the tears beginning to blur her vision and she couldn't quite catch her breath.
“Will you—” he tried again but Maya cut him off quickly.
“Yes, yes I will! Yes, Paul. Yes,!” she sank to her knees before him and he tugged her forward, kissing her through her tears as the waves crashed and roiled below them.
Hello! I just wanted to check in and see how you are as you’ve been quiet recently💕
Thanks for the check-in (and thank you to everyone else who checked in). Life just got a little busy. I started school up again to get a certificate in UX/UI design, went on a bunch of trips, and my sister moved out of state, so it's been a busy few months. Writing kind of went to the back burner during all of it.
Sorry to go MIA on you all. But we're back and writing again and I hope to post the next chapter soon. In Chapter 54 we'll see if Maya is brave enough to go back to the rez and see Paul.
We'll also learn more about Leah and Keye's relationship. Also, I know someone sent me an ask about that way back when and I said that wasn't the reason she disappeared--which technically it still isn't and we'll learn why in Chapter 54. But I sat with the idea of Leah imprinting on Keye for months and it just made sense to my long-term story arc. So thank you to that person for the hard read on that situation!
Happy to be back and happy to see all of you in the notes and inbox.
There’s always a crushing weight that settles around my shoulders when she looks at me like that. I never know what’s exactly going on in her head, what she’ll say next. And that’s what I’ve loved about her. She’s always kept me guessing, kept me paying attention and focused. It was one of the easiest ways I found to temper my anger when it flared up around anyone else. Even if she didn’t know it, she helped keep me on solid ground when I’d felt like I’d been adrift for so long. But now, I’d give anything to know what was going on in her head. She was furious with me about enrolling her in UW, I know, but I couldn’t risk losing her. It felt like there was danger all around us and the only way I felt like I could keep her safe was here with me. I knew she wouldn’t like it. I knew she would fight against it. But if I could just make her see that I wasn’t trying to ruin her life and that it was actually temporary, just until the danger died down, and she could go back to New York soon, she’d understand. But then she wasn’t there when I came back this time. And in the next second, I felt the earth fall out from under me.
The soft click of the hotel door behind him was the only thing that reminded him his feet were on solid ground. Paul staggered down the hallway only a few steps before his mouth burst open taking gasping breaths.
It felt as if someone was hollowing out the pit of his stomach with a jagged edged spoon, ripping and tearing at everything inside of him until he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. His hand shot out to grip the wall and keep from sinking to his knees.
It’ll pass. It’ll pass. It’ll pass. He chanted to himself in his head.
This undeniable pain of the imprint felt just as raw as it did when she first left him. She’d not broken the bond when she’d left, but still nearly cleaved it in two. The only thing holding the bond together was a dangerously thin connection that reacted like an exposed nerve whenever disturbed by simply the thought of her. Which for Paul, was all of the time.
And right now, that nerve was being ground with sandpaper as he walked further away from the door. This earth shattering ache was something that always echoed within him, to the point where it had nearly driven him crazy back on the reservation.
Maya had disappeared from his life that night and every day since. The imprint had been begging for him to get her back even if he knew what she needed—space and time away…from him. Paul tried to catch his breath, his hand coming to wind around his abdomen as he was reminded of the night she left him—the pain so acutely similar to that first night:
A little over a year ago…
Paul’s feet pounded on the forest floor, his breath huffing from his mouth in great bursts. All he could hear replaying in his head on repeat was her refusal, pushing him away, and he couldn’t stand it anymore. Paul knew he should have stayed to talk it through, to reassure her that the plan he’d made for them would work if she’d just tried it, but deep down he knew it all felt wrong—making her stay, holding her to him like this. And so, when she refused, he let himself fall into the familiar rush of the phase.
Soon enough, the weight of his mounting anger would be easily channeled into each limb as he dashed through the dense forest. There would be nothing left to feel once he was there and when he came back, she’d be there to talk it through and they’d figure it out together. But right now, his mind was a mess and he couldn’t see anything past the resounding anger that swelled and grew and wanted to rip every part of him to shreds.
Paul didn’t know how long he ran for, but the air grew cooler as he made his way further north, scaling mountains and focusing on anything but the anger pulsing in his chest. If he could just get some distance, it would subside. That’s how it always worked in the past. He remembered distinctly when he first phased and how that visceral anger he’d felt every day as a kid suddenly subsided as he would wind his way through the forest. He had finally found relief from the pain of that anger all these years. Through his mother’s absence, his father’s violence, and the falling away of every family he’d ever come to know before he was left all alone the one thing that remained was that anger. Like a companion, an old friend. But when the phase hit him, he realized there was something else for him to do. And Sam made sure that he made use of that anger, channeled it in a way that could help the pack rather than hurt them. He’d still slip up sometimes though, barking commands at his brothers, taking one too many risks when they were hunting down bloodsuckers. But it didn’t matter. Paul was all at once freed from himself when he phased and he truly had nothing to lose.
He went through a similar period as Jacob and Leah where he simply didn’t phase back for awhile. The relief from the anger was just too much and so he had leaned into it. But when you phase for too long, the world starts to get wobbly. You lose touch with your human senses and the wild can pull you under faster than you realize. When Sam had to pull him out after a Quil phased, he felt more feral and angry as ever when he was human. But he worked through it. Made a name for himself, put more energy into his work and his pack. And that anger stabilized.
But then came Maya. His Maya. The world stopped, no ground to a startling halt when he saw her and that anger took a new shape, seemingly it evaporated. But something happened as they grew closer. That anger swelled into jealousy, possessiveness, and the imprint took hold of a brand new side of him. One he didn’t quite feel in control of.
As he wound his way through the forest, crossing the border into Canada and sliding to a halt as he overlooked a stark cliff off of Britannia Beach, he felt lost. For the first time since Maya, he felt well and truly lost within himself. Paul stayed that way, gazing out over the cliffside into the dark swirling ocean below, waiting for some clarity, some reprieve from that mutated anger, but none came. He just felt exhausted. Night turned into day as he ran and now it had descended again. He watched the moon grow and change across the sky.
When the sun rose over the horizon, Paul felt stiff from his lack of movement. He hadn’t even laid down to rest, just let himself stare endlessly trying to find out where that anger ended and where he began again. A soft crunch behind him set him on high alert though and he growled and bared his teeth before whipping around.
He was faced with a towering russet brown alpha—Jacob. Paul slowly relaxed and waited for Jacob to say something, but it felt like he was trying to assess the situation. Figure out what part of Paul he was dealing with. But he was lost to himself, so he had no idea what Jacob would find.
I know what you’re going through. Jacob’s voice buzzed through Paul’s brain. He never minded his brothers communicating with him this way. Their overlapping voices made him feel much less alone in those early days. Still, the voice in Paul’s head growled in response. Jacob sighed and took a moment before carrying on. Paul tried to gather what the images flickering through Jacob’s head meant, but it was all moving too quickly it blurred and he couldn’t make anything out clearly. There’s never going to be a good time to let go, he continued. You’ll never want to truly let go. But this is how you lose her, Paul.
Paul felt his chest rumble with pain. But there were no words that came to mind. Just Maya’s face, broken and crying as he told her again and again that she couldn’t leave. Not like this.
She’s gone. Jacob said suddenly in response to that image. That got Paul’s attention. He whipped around to face Jacob, a sudden feral rage coursing through him. Uncontrolled, as usual. She went back to New York. With protection. You will not interfere with that. The last sentence was an order, an alpha command. And a carefully phrased one at that.
Jacob knew he was unable to order any of his brothers to stay away from their imprints. It was the one thing his commands couldn’t touch. But this was different.
Interfere? Paul seethed, his teeth bared, shoulders squared and his feet spread wide as if he was about to lunge. Jacob bared his teeth in response and mirrored Paul’s stance.
That’s right. You’re not in control right now and that puts your imprint at risk. This is for your own good and for her safety. Jacob continued firmly.
Her safety? Paul felt his entire body tremble with rage. He felt like he was going to explode out of his skin any moment, his fur rippled in waves down his back. If she’s not safe with me, then who is she safe with?
An image flashed in Jacob’s mind, just briefly, but Paul caught it. Golden eyes, blonde hair, and the tall stocky build of the blood sucker he knew all too well after a close call so many years ago. This was too much though.
Paul snapped, lunging for his alpha in one quick moment, his jaws clamping around Jacob’s throat as they tumbled backwards into the forest, crashing through trees and undergrowth. Jacob responded in kind, and quickly twisted away from his grip before pinning him between two broad paws. Paul writhed and snapped at Jacob, but he held fast, the blood from his gushing wound closing quickly.
TRAITOR! Paul bellowed at him. But Jacob held strong, holding his writhing form beneath him.
Listen to me! Jacob begged. It wasn’t an order, but a plea. But Paul was too far gone to hear much beyond the rushing rage blocking out all sound. She will be safe. You need to figure this out. Whatever this is Paul, it won’t work. You can’t keep her like this. It’s not fair to her or you. If you have any hope of her staying with you, you need to change whatever this is. This fucking monster inside of you. Get a fucking grip!
Paul snarled, snapped his jaws and found an opening. Jacob slipped and Paul righted himself quickly before bashing headfirst into Jacob’s chest. Jacob howled, thrown back by the sheer force of it and crashed a hundred feet away into a tree. Paul steadied himself, the blood pumping in his ears. He had to get back to Maya. Had to get to her, make her stay, keep her safe.
She’s gone! Jacob responded again to the flurry of thoughts rushing through Paul. He whipped his head back and howled in agony as a fresh pain ripped through him. He could feel it now, that absence, her absence, growing and pulling him apart from the inside. And so he did the only thing he thought he could do. He charged toward Jacob in the forest, blind with fury, thirsty for revenge, for blood, for sending her off with those fucking bloodsuckers.
Jacob was ready for him though and when Paul crashed into him a second time, he remained like a stone wall. Paul rammed against his frame again and again and again, feeling the bones breaking in his body. But with each slam against Jacob, he was losing ground. Jacob edged him closer to the cliffside. He wouldn’t win, but it didn’t matter. There was nothing left for him.
Go see the elders. Jacob said calmly. And with that, Jacob rammed at him, making him topple over the cliff and hurdle into the crashing water below, limp and broken.
Paul tried to catch his breath now outside of the hotel room door. He could do this. He could walk away and let her come to him. He’d practiced this for he didn’t know how long at this point, but it always seemed to get harder leaving and now that they had come back to together, the ache of the imprint seared through every part of his brain.
He turned toward the door, his hand hovering over the knob as he reached for the key card. Maybe he could just go back inside and explain everything and she would understand.
But he knew he couldn’t do that. It’s not what the elders had advised. And they had gotten him this far. When he heard Maya talking on the other side of the door into her phone, it solidified his resolve to leave, however agonizing it felt, and he walked off down the hallway toward the elevator.
-----------
The soft buzz of Maya’s phone rumbled beneath her. It must be Rose, or Emmett, trying to find out where she was. She hadn’t exactly planned on not coming home last night.
Without looking at her phone, Maya answered.
“Hello?” Her voice was low from her general disorientation and the best sleep she’d had in a year.
“Well, well, well, look who decided to come crawling back into my DMs,” the voice on the other line drawled conspiratorially.
“Keye?!” Maya let out a huff of surprised breath and tears immediately pricked the back of her eyes.
“Now, I thought that when we all watched Gone Girl that one time, we decided that if we ever had to fake our own disappearance, we would at least send a signal of some kind to one of the group. You know, to remind them that ‘hey! I’m not actually dead, just disappearing for a while’ kind of thing,” Keye continued rambling sarcastically. A sob broke through Maya’s throat and she put a hand over her eyes at hearing her best friend’s voice for the first time in a year. “Or, did you forget the moral of that story?”
“Keye,” was all Maya could get out as the tears fell in earnest. But Keye wasn’t even listening as she carried on, making Maya start to giggle.
“You know I can keep a secret. I never told anyone about that time Ashley Halliweth took me and the two Lake brothers to skinny dip at the rec center and Ashley gave Joey Lake a blowjob on top of the noodles that the elders use to do their swim aerobics.” Keye was talking a mile a minute and all Maya could think about was how good it felt to hear her voice.
“Keye, you literally told half our spanish class in ninth grade and Mrs. Gostavos,” Maya scoffed, still shaking with comforting laughter.
“No! She wasn’t there, I’m pretty sure,” Keye deflected and carried on rambling. Maya settled into the warmth of relief she felt at just hearing Keye’s voice and wondered if she had made a mistake cutting everyone out for so long. Especially Keye and Becks.
She glanced toward the closed door of the room and felt a pit drop in the center of her stomach. Had she made a mistake there too? He really just fucking left? The voice inside her head spat. Maya tried to drop back in and focused on Keye’s rambling before she took a huge breath and said,
“Anyway, what’s up with you?”
Maya burst into laughter and stared up at the ceiling.
“Honestly, babe. Nothing,” she replied nonchalantly. That made Keye erupt with laughter and for a few minutes, they just devolved into complete happiness, easy in their comfort with one another. Once they finally settled, a comfortable silence fell between them.
“Paul’s an idiot,” Keye said sighed. Maya nodded even though Keye couldn’t see her.
“I’ll say. He just one-night-stand-ghosted me,” Maya admitted, petting her own hair back against the pillow.
“What?!” Keye shouted. Maya shifted the phone away from her ear from the screech and then hummed in affirmation.
“I’m currently butt ass naked in a hotel bed. He just left after thanking me for the lovely evening,” Maya groaned, “I’m such an idiot. I folded like a road map.”
“No, you didn’t,” Keye interjected with a tone of annoyance.
“Yes, I did, ugh, I just fucking slept with him because I couldn’t help it and now he probably thinks—”
“No, My, you fucking didn’t. He’s being an asshole and you reacting to the imprint is not you being an idiot. You didn’t fold or fall for anything. Honestly, babe, it’s a little manipulative what he’s doing to you,” Keye said harshly. Maya stared at the ceiling in confusion.
“Wait, what do you mean?” How was Paul manipulating her? They were coming back together and he was…what was he doing? All of it made Maya’s head spin—the imprint, Paul, all of it.
“He’s blaming you for a decision he forced you to make!” Keye nearly screeched. Maya scrunched her forehead in confusion.
“Keye he…” Maya paused and really thought about it for a moment. She could feel Keye nearly boiling across the line as she thought through her last few interactions with Paul.
The chance encounter at the art museum, the meeting at the club, the lunch, and now her pseudo one-night-stand. He was mad sure, but manipulative? Maya couldn’t quite piece it together.
“Keye, he’s just mad and reacting to the imprint. It’s fucking driving me crazy too,” Maya defended. Why was she defending him again? As the words came out of her mouth, they even tasted wrong.
“Jesus…christ, Maya. I thought you were the smart one in our group. Listen, he literally forced you to run from your home because he was going to keep you here under some insane idea that he was protecting you. Then, he shows up in New York to ‘work’ and now he’s making you feel like a one-night stand?” Keye exclaimed. “Tell me how that’s not manipulative.”
“I—,” Maya paused again, trying again to piece it together, Maya really sat and thought for a moment. Paul loved her—she knew that as much as she knew how to breathe air. But sometimes, the things he said and did didn’t feel like love at all.
She hadn’t liked how the last year had gone between them. And when she really thought about it, while being around him these last few times had been like a welcomed salve to the raw emotions from the imprint, after she had just felt…empty. And confused. Most of her relationship had felt like a tug of war with him and her mind flashed back to when Paul had admitted that things were not this difficult between his brothers and the other imprints. That proclamation had always worried Maya and now it hit her full force in the chest.
Maya scrunched up her face in irritation and let out a huff of breath. She knew what she wanted with Paul, but this hadn’t been it. And now she wasn’t entirely sure how to fix it.
But she was determined to fix it. Whatever it took.
“Fuck,” she let out with an exasperated sigh. “I know. I know, Keye. Fuck. I just get so wrapped up in this shit and I can’t think straight when he’s around, sometimes. I thought the space would help, I really did.”
“It’s okay,” Keye said softly, “But babe, this can’t be your life. Running from home whenever Paul does something stupid. Break him so he doesn’t break you,” she said fiercely. Maya laughed at that. She didn’t think it would take that, not to mention, she didn’t want or even mean to break Paul. She just wanted to find the rhythm again. A rhythm with boundaries that they had never quite managed before.
“Okay, okay, I hear you. I’ll work on it,” she breathed out and then said swiftly, “What’s been going on with you?” Maya asked. Keye clammed up suddenly, and was completely silent to the point where Maya thought the line had gone dead, “Keye?” she said, pulling her phone back from her face to check and make sure the call hadn’t dropped.
Keye cleared her throat and then said in a rushed voice, “ Everything's good on my end. You know me.” Her voice sounded strained.
“You okay?” Maya asked slowly, “Is someone there with you?” Maya sat up in bed suddenly worrying about what Keye may have gotten herself into.
“No, no of course not. I’m at my apartment and I just—,” she cut herself off. Maya listened intently and thought she heard sniffling on the other end. But before she could point it out, Keye piped up, “I need to get some stuff done for this stupid class. And I just miss you. Any chance you’ll be coming this way soon?” A hopeful lilt in her voice put pressure on Maya’s heart.
“I—,” Maya choked. She always choked. Shutting her eyes tight with a hand to her head she took a deep breath.
“You can’t stay away forever, you know,” Keye laughed a little, but it sounded hollow. Maya’s suspicion piqued again.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Keye was always so straight with her, but now, it felt like the distance between them was hiding something else.
“Yes, My. Just think about coming home. Not a trap. You can even come stay with me in Seattle if you want,” Keye’s voice was clipped, but wrought with so much emotion that Maya thought she could hear the strain in the back of Keye’s throat trying to hold back a sob.
“Okay, yeah. I’ll think about it,” Maya said with a soft smile in her voice.
“Good. Good,” Keye said, her voice thick with spit.
-------
Two months later…
Maya watched the rain come down from her spot in Arden’s office. She was perched on the couch with a stack of papers to grade. Arden sat dutifully at his desk, answering emails and outlining his next lecture that Maya had already sent him her thoughts on for updating.
A soft fog rolled over campus, uncommon in the heated heart of the city. It made Maya ache for home more than ever. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t drag her eyes away from the window as she let herself get lost in the feeling of being home.
She and Keye had talked a bit more after that initial conversation and Maya knew now more than ever what she needed to do. Ever since she had made her decision though, she had begun craving her home, the beach, her family in La Push with new fervor. And this weather really didn’t help.
Maya blew out a soft breath and hadn’t realized she had been absently tapping the uncapped tip of her red pen on an unsuspecting student’s paper until her had nearly covered the cover page in marks.
“Everything okay?” Arden’s voice, usually so calm and soothing, jolted Maya from her reverie, causing her to jump and papers to slide from her lap onto the floor.
“Oh!” she exclaimed. Arden kneeled down in front of her to gather the papers, setting them neatly back on her lap and resting his warm palm on her denim clad thigh. Maya sucked in a sharp breath as she watched the look in his eyes change from concern to something darker. “Sorry, I…I was lost in thought,” Maya explained, shifting her legs and moving them under her body so that Arden was forced to drop his hand.
Arden stayed kneeled in front of her, not letting her out of it that easy. “You sure you’re okay?”
Maya gave him a small smile and nodded after a beat before patting her hand on the papers. “Just trying to get everything squared away before fall break. Plus, I have that interview coming up. I don’t know, it might just be getting to me,” she was trying to come across as reassuring, but Arden’s gaze tugged at something deeper she wasn’t willing to admit.
He hummed in acknowledgement, his eyes dropping to her mouth for a moment as if considering the last time they were this close on this couch in his office before rising back to his feet. “Well, be sure to get those graded before the week ends. I’ve got another batch of quizzes to give you once you’re finished and I don’t want it cutting into your coursework too much.” His tone was kind, if not a bit firm. Maya nodded and made a show of getting back to work.
But after a few minutes, once Arden had settled back at his desk, Maya’s gaze lifted to the shadowy gloom outside as she dipped back into her thoughts of home, her friends, her family, and most of all…of Paul.
------
“MY!” a sharp knock sounded on her bedroom door. Maya snapped her attention to the door and away from the long floor to ceiling windows that were streaked with rain in the warm lamp glow of the street below.
“Yeah?!” Maya called out just as Rosalie entered her room, eyes glued to her phone.
“Emmett was going to swing by that Thai place that you liked to check in on Bastion, do you want anything?” she glanced up quickly at Maya before letting her eyes fall to the massive fan of papers across her bed. “Still grading? Do you want my help?”
“Ah, no I think I can handle it. Thanks though, I’m just having a hard time focusing with the rain and all,” Maya explained, not quite sounding like herself even to her own ears.
“Okay,” Rosalie replied with a hint of skepticism. “So, Thai?”
“Yes! B4, spicy noodles, extra sauce please,” Maya stated matter of factly before looking diligently back at the papers on her bed. Rosalie shot off a text to Emmett and quietly exited her room, closing the door behind her. Letting out a deep sigh, she glanced at her phone, the screen inactive on her bed.
It had been a month and a half since she’d heard from Paul. And the text exchange that she had attempted made her feel…unsatisfied. She had written:
Hey.
To which he nonchalantly responded:
Hi. Everything okay?
Everything’s fine.
Maya hadn’t known what to say. Why had she texted him again? It was late and she had been sinking into herself, lost in that feeling he had left in her that night after the Met. And suddenly, she was in bed, texting him. She watched as the typing bubbles appeared and disappeared on Paul’s end a couple of times before a text finally popped up that read:
What can I do for you, baby?
Maya bit her lip as an aching need pulsed between her thighs. She couldn’t let him get to her like that with just a simple, seemingly benign text and promised herself that she’d have to work on that. So, she promptly turned off the screen on her phone and tried to sleep.
A few weeks later, Maya was in her room grading papers, a glass of wine in her hand, and clad in just her Columbia t-shirt and some black panties.
The unanswered text from Paul laid open on her phone, and Maya bit her lip. She had been contemplating texting him back but had no idea what to say. What did she need? For him to talk to her? For him to lure her back to the reservation? No.
But she did miss him. And that ache had steadily grown with every silent second he let tick by. She was used to Paul being ever present, almost overwhelming so, and this past year was a testament to how much he had let her be. Maybe he was finally getting it.
Or maybe it was a trick. The thought had crossed her mind a few times. That maybe he was doing this all as some elaborate way to get her to come back. But she couldn’t see the end of the game. If things were just as they would be before, she knew she’d leave again. She’d done it before.
But this somehow felt different. So, maybe it was different.
Maya grabbed her phone after downing her wine and setting the empty glass on her nightstand. She stared at the text: What can I do for you baby?
The longer she stared at it, reread it, heard it in his voice, warm and deep, the more that thrumming, tingling sensation welled up in her chest. She wanted him to feel that unsatisfying end as much as she felt it now from those seven little words on the screen.
Maya leaned back on the bed, tapping open the camera and twisted her body so that her ass jutted out and her waist twisted. She thumbed at her jutted bottom lip and quickly snapped the picture, sending it before she even had a second to reconsider.
And then she waited. Five. Ten. Fifteen minutes. He hadn’t even opened the text. Maybe he was on patrol. Maya’s eyes flitted to the clock on her nightstand but it felt too early for rounds even with the time difference. When the realization set in of what she just did—basically an open invitation to come and get her—Maya quickly hit unsend on the text.
He hadn’t seen it. She was sure of that. But still, she turned off her phone to avoid any further temptation and swallowed hard as the feeling of rejection swirled loosely in her stomach.
----
“I think I want to go home for fall break,” Maya said without any pretense, “To visit.” She rushed to clarify.
Emmett looked at her with a teasing smile and glanced nearly imperceptibly at Rosalie.
“Are you sure?” Rose asked gently, setting down her book.
Maya took a deep breath, still clutching her phone in her hand, “Yes,” she said firmly and nodded. “I want to visit my parents and…I’m going to have to go home eventually. Why not break the ice now?” Maya prompted. Rose watched her skeptically as Emmett began to shake with silent laughter.
Maya’s gaze fell to him and her eyes narrowed into a glare. Doesn’t mention Keye and what she suspects might be wrong.
“What?!” she finally prompted.
“Are you sure this isn’t a dick visit?” he joked. Maya let out a groan and Rosalie shot Emmett a glare.
“Emmett,” she whined in annoyance.
“What?!” Emmett feigned innocence. “All of the sudden she wants to go home on a whim? We know you and Paul had a little rendezvous after the Met thing, don’t lie,” that sly teasing grin fell across his face.
“That’s not it, it’s something else,” Rosalie said with a knowing, pointed look, “What’s going on Maya?”
Maya sighs and shakes her head, “Nothing that you two should be worried about. I’m mostly going on a hunch, but if I need a way out to get back here, will you help me again?”
“I don’t think it will come to that. Paul could have easily taken you back during any of the times that you’ve spent with him recently. Plus, Alice hasn’t mentioned the Volturri coming to visit in months, I think we’re in the clear in terms of danger for now,” Emmett said.
“Are you sure this is a good idea…for you?” Rosalie said gently. Maya pondered that for a moment, clutching her phone tightly.
“It’s important for me to see my family. And I’ve stayed away long enough,” Maya paused and let out a soft breath. Rosalie smiled gently and gave Maya’s arm a reassuring squeeze. She could feel the ice cold of her elegant fingers through her thick wool sweater. After a beat, Maya said softly, “I’ll be careful.”
To which Rosalie nodded and glanced at Emmett who had his arms crossed, leaning against the kitchen island.
“Then, we’re in,” Emmett confirmed. Maya sighed in relief and smiled.
She was finally going home. Maya could already feel a small part inside of her sag with relief. However, another larger part cinched anxiously around her heart. Home.
-------
Maya crossed her legs as she waited at the gate for her plane to start boarding. She had decided to forgo the private jet route that Rosalie insisted on to stay a few extra days and wrap up some last minute grading and planning projects with Arden.
Fall break felt different this year—gloomier somehow. Her cohort was in a tizzy regarding a new vetting process for landing internships affiliated with the university. Students had brought up the potential for favoritism to play a role, which had led to increased requests for office hours. Arden had been swamped with student meetings to reassure them that that wasn’t the case, but still, the last month had been stressful.
The need for additional meetings also meant that Maya had spent much less time alone in Arden’s office and more time at the library or at Noah’s. It had kind of been a relief if she was being honest with herself. Arden was picking up on Maya’s shifting mood as she got closer to heading home for the first time in over a year. Unfortunately for Maya, she couldn’t say she particularly enjoyed Arden’s increased perceptiveness.
She was nervous, sure, but mostly, she was just…excited. For what, she wasn’t sure. Because if there was one thing she knew it was that she was returning to the same, old complicated situation, if not worse. At least before she had people on her side. Now? She wasn’t sure considering she had iced everyone out for over a year.
Still, Arden’s attention to her had grown more invested and more affectionate. Before, it probably wouldn’t have even fazed her, but now, with the promise of her home on the horizon, she was feeling boxed in. How ironic, she thought to herself.
The intercom buzzed with a soft announcement and Maya lifted her head to listen carefully before her eyes settled back to the screen on her phone. The last text from Arden received just moments ago had shifted in tone rather quickly and Maya was still mulling over exactly how to tackle it:
Arden: Are you sure you can’t stay over fall break? There’s so much to get done before finals.
And then..
Arden: Plus, I miss seeing you in my office.
Maya bit her lower lip and turned off her phone before gathering her things hurriedly and walking toward the gate. She’d have to deal with that later. Right now, her biggest focus was getting to Keye and then getting home.
With a heavy sigh, Maya boarded the plane and said under her breath: “Here goes nothing.”
------
SeaTac airport was a well loved airport for Maya. She wove confidently through the throngs of tourists looking around confused about where to head as she made her way to the arrivals pick up area. She knew who she was looking for.
Maya let out a loud breath when she exited the airport, breathing in the briney, cool Seattle air. Nothing quite smelled like home like La Push but this would do for now. She let her eyes coast along the line of cars waiting to pick up their passengers. And no sooner had she reached in her bag for her phone did she hear a familiar squeal.
Keye hurtled toward her at a break neck speed, her face cheery and bright, her hair tied off in two braids down over her shoulder. She leapt at Maya when she was close enough and Maya caught her, the tears already coming.
“OH!” Keye screamed as she hugged Maya tightly. “You’re here! You’re real! You did it!” When Keye finally pulled back to look at her, Maya was sure she looked a mess with her puffy eyes and tears streaming down her cheeks. Keye was crying too and as she cupped her cheeks and smiled, she said in that bright, way of hers: “Welcome home, Maya.”
This wracked Maya with renewed sobs and Keye let out a wet laugh as she reach on Maya’s shoulder for her backpack.
“Come on, we’re holding up traffic.” Maya nodded and gripped tightly to Keye’s hand as she wove through crowds toward the light blue Subaru parked a little ways down. The trunk popped open and Maya heard a reassuring, warm voice coming from the driverside.
“Everything okay?” the strange, soft voice asked.
Maya wiped her eyes quickly. Keye hadn’t told her she’d bring someone else to come and get her and she was mortified at the thought of embarrassing Keye in front of one of her roommates.
“She’s fine. Just a little homecoming breakdown, you know how it is,” Keye quipped. Maya laughed and raised her eyes to the owner of the voice who had now come around the Subaru to help put Maya’s bags in the trunk.
“Sorry I—,” Maya said before swallowing, “It’s been awhile since I’ve been home.”
“It’s okay, I get it,” the woman looked familiar and her mere presence felt a little more like home to her.
“I’m sorry, who are—” Maya began slowly.
“Oh god, sorry!” Keye cried, “I forgot! Maya, this is Leah. Leah Clearwater.”
Maya’s eyes went wide as the name registered in her foggy, tired brain. Leah Clearwater? As in Seth Clearwater’s older estranged sister? As in the one pack mate who had left and not returned?
“Leah?” Maya said incredulously.
“The one and only,” Leah said almost begrudgingly.
“My girlfriend,” Keye said proudly. Maya nearly fell over.
“Oh!” she gasped as she looked from Keye to Leah and back again. Leah rolled her eyes as she slammed the trunk of the hatchback shut.
“Come on. Seems like we have a bit of explaining to do,” Leah said as she climbed into the car, the ghost of a smile on her face.
Maya remained frozen on the pavement for a second before looking hard at Keye.
“Is she?” Maya couldn’t bring herself to say it, but Keye’s face said it all.
I love the pinterest board idea. I've just recently gotten back into pinterest and have been character planning for some other stories/character ideas.
Here's what I have so far for Maya and Paul!
Mar 8, 2023 - Explore Since02's board "Maya and Paul" on Pinterest. See more ideas about hair styles, hair, beauty.
I’m just wondering if the Volturi are still important. I literally just remembered they’re the reason Paul tried to force Maya to stay in the first place lol
So, this is a more complicated answer, but the short answer is yes, they're still important to the long-term story arc.
Is Maya in immediate danger? No.
I'm going with the original Volturi canon mentioned in New Moon that it takes the Volturi quite a long time to act since they perceive time differently.
The Volturi will become a more direct threat later in the story, but as of right now, Maya is not actively being hunted, nor are the wolves.
Random question and sorry if it’s already been asked- do you picture movie actor Alex meraz as Paul, or someone else?
Love Taking Time!!
Love this ask.
So, I have kind of a hodge-podge of inspiration for Paul and sometimes Maya. There's no one specific person I draw inspiration from but here's kind of what I imagine them to look like generally (click for higher resolution):
Most of Maya's aesthetic/look inspiration comes from Liza Soberano.
Paul's look is a blend of young Alex Meraz, young Rick Mora, and Steven Strait:
It’s been a while, but I finally rendered Miss Maya again! Taking Time is legit my favorite story ever! I don’t know how to describe it, but I find such comfort in rereading it. It truly is a masterpiece. I am so grateful to @since0202 for her hard work and dedication to her story.
Now to the art (Click for better resolution) …call me a freak, but I was rereading the story for like the third time and I caught this in Chapter 4:
… “Her hair was so heavy that it gave her headaches. She toyed with the idea of cutting it short like Becks’ but hadn’t mustered the courage yet.”…
And girl did she find her courage, because clearly in the time skip we see that Maya cut her hair. Lol and I love it! Because as women when we go through shit the first thing that changes in our appearance is our hair.
Anywho here you have Miss Maya giving a little over the shoulder moment with her shorter hair in the baby blue floral dress from Chapter 52.
New fanart just dropped from @shewandersinthesun!!! I
ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT.
Look at this fresh, fly-as-fuck Maya with her short do! You totally nailed it, bestie! She absolutely had a very common awakening that we all do where we change the easiest thing to start a deeper change in ourselves. Maya is no different. She chopped that shit right off and said "New hair, new me."
Once again, you have just completely blown me away with your attention to detail in capturing her! Thank you so, so much!
im a messy bitch so my first thought went to keye and paul hooking up out of spite lmao
HUH?
I think you guys would actually fucking murder me if I made Paul any more unlikable.
Keye is a wildcard but she'd deffo never DOUBLE DIP on her best friend's man.
And despite Paul's transgressions in lying about meeting up with Rachel, he is obsessed, nay would DIE for Maya. So cheating is not really in his wheelhouse (at this time—never say never I guess).
I AM LOVING THESE THEORIES THOUGH! Could you fucking IMAGINE?! COULD IMAGINE THE ABSOLUTE devastation if Paul cheated? I would never forgive myself. You're not the only one who thought this though! So clearly, it's on people's mind. Good guess!
But it is angst that Keye goes through. So, you guys are getting close.
