outofcharacter. I apologize for this --I needed to get it off my chest and I've not got a personal blog (or rather, I can't remember the password).
I've just spent literally hours worrying over my friend. She called me 6 times whilst I was unable to answer my phone, and when I tried to contact her she wouldn't answer. I was so super worried, because she also texted me to ask if she could have a place to stay tonight. I thought the worse, that she was getting kicked out, or her flatmates were bullying her.
I was unable to tell what had happened or the importance of the situation because she's not been my friend for a long time, you see. She's from America, I'm from England. We met on another old RP blog of mine and she flew over to England for her studies, so we've been hanging out.
I began going frantic. I couldn't invite her over to my place because I'm in temporary lodgings with my mother, and she dislikes company. So I was looking for last-minute hotels for her until we could sort something out, a theatre show to help her calm down from whatever had been happening, a good restaurant, etc. I was prepared to spend £500 on whatever she needed, which meant dipping a little into my savings.
It turns out, nothing was the problem. She just wanted to invite herself to my place on a whim. Not that I have any problem with that, but my heart is racing from thinking the worse.
My problem is, that throughout my time here on Tumblr, I've been helping people as a priority. Previous RP blogs that I had invested a lot of time into, and gained 1,500-2,000 followers on became help blogs for the depressed and suicidal, and it's been my job to talk people down off the edge. I love helping people, so that's never a problem. But good friends have told me that I do too much for them, so much so that it compromises my own health and I become suicidal and depressed, and because of it, I've now been diagnosed with a mental illness. I can't help it though, if I see someone in need of help, despite how I feel, I've got to give it my all to do what I can.
And that's why I thought the worse. So this whole ordeal I guess is my fault? For jumping to conclusions? I don't know..









