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@singlegirltexts-blog
How to get a job
Me: when I called they sent me to J.R.'s voicemail.. is he the superintendent or something? Name sounds familiar.
Jess: I g uess hes the director of student services now. Hes fucking HOTT
Me: haha maybe I will do him 2 get the job!
Jess: you SHOULD!
WHAT MY FRIEND TELLS ME WHEN WE LEAVE THE BAR
WHEN A GUY WONT COMMIT
WHEN I TELL PEOPLE HOW CLASSY I AM
so true... wrap it single ladies!
Pizza weirdness
Trisha: Crap, I made out with that guy in bootleggers right?
Me: I dont think so? Unless you did it not infront of us
Trisha: Yeah, you guys werent there I guess
Me: Oh shitttt did u get his number?
Trisha: nope, I didnt ask cuz he was acting weird at the pizza place
Makin me proud
Me: I pulled a you last night and had to pee in a parking lot!! OMG i could NOT hold it!
Angela: Now you know how liberating it is!
Angela: I pulled a you and made out with eric in the bar and by my car.
Me: Omg I'm so proud of you! I wanna hear about this date!
kWHEN IM DRUNK MY FRIEND TELLS ME TO CALM DOWN
I’M JUST LIKE:
WHEN I HOOK UP WITH SOMEONE AND MY FRIENDS WANT ALL THE DETAILS THE NEXT DAY
Wet Panties
Me: I better find ur lovin... I better find ur heart... get ready to sing!
Samuel: Oh I am!!! And scream like a groupie!!
Me: And throw your panties?
Samuel: Ur panties are gonna be as damp as a cellar when he starts to sing with that sweet voice, so u better bring a clean pair to throw!
WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY MAKE MY MIXED DRINK TOO STRONG
Me in the club sometimes. Minus the bow.
SAME.
Same.
STORY OF MY LIFE!!!
WHEN SOMEONE BRINGS UP A PERSON I HATE
I’M JUST LIKE:
WHEN I GO THROUGH A BREAK UP
This always helps lay-deez. Kindof.
