summary: you and lily have been polar opposites from birth, disconnected in everything. but when the one thing she has crosses the bounds, you can't avoid it even if it destroys you.
chapter 1: i know you?
chapter 2: i suppose..
chapter 3: okay, it's quite fun.
chapter 4: fuck you
chapter 5: tis' the season
chapter 6: maybe it's worth it
chapter 7: screw it all up again
chapter 8: you & i
chapter 9: my love
warning: eventual smut! 18+, heavy angst, cursing, jealousy
content warnings; dub/con, innocence, abuse of power (remus), so many pet names, vaginal fingering, p in v, basically āhysteriaā, very unrealistic loss of virginity (next to no pain mentions, remus doesnāt go slow etc), r thinks sheās been wetting herself slightly but sheās just horny and wet lol, age gap (r is 18, remusā age is undisclosed but heās a licensed doctor)
notes; (unintentionally) the longest fic iāve even written by far, oh my god my thumbs hurt. all likes, comments and reblogs much appreciated. as always mdni
kinktober/flufftober masterlist
āāāāā
youād been guided into the empty room at the doctors office by the bored receptionist, her muttering something about the doctor joining you soon, and to take a seat.
it had been a few minutes since then, you were sat carefully on one of the patients chairs, grasping nervously at the cross hanging between your breasts. the ticking of the clock only amplified your nerves, leg bouncing as you stared at the door, imaging all the ways this appointment could go wrong.
you jumped when the door opened, doctor lupin walked in, smiling widely as he shut and locked the door behind him.
āhello, itās lovely to see you again, y/n,ā he sat down at his chair, not taking his eyes off of you.
you nodded along, not trusting your voice just yet, nails now digging into your bare thighs, skirt shifting higher up your legs.
ānow, i was told that youād been having some female problems, could you tell me more about that?ā
avoiding eye contact, you chewed on you lip before attempting to explain your embarrassing situation, āi- um, iāve been having some- some weird feelings, yāknow uh, down there,ā you mumbled.
āokay, how long has this been going on for, hm?ā
āa few weeks, maybe. itās- itās on and off though, not all the time,ā what you refused to mention, was that whenever you were experiencing these feelings, was when you were thinking about your hot new doctor.
āyeah? so around the time that i saw you last? why didnāt you mention anything then, sweetheart? it seems to be bothering you an awful lot,ā
oh my gosh, this was the most mortifying moment of your life. how on earth were you supposed to tell him that the weird sensations only started happening since you met him.
youād had to change doctors after you moved house, still living at home with your parents, and had met dr lupin for a standard checkup. youād instantly become a stuttering mess- much like you were now- at how attractive he was.
you werenāt sure how to answer his question, cheeks flaming, and almost sighed in relief when he clearly pitied you enough to ask something different.
ādo you think you could describe what the weird feelings are like, honey? are they painful?ā he asks, face twisted in concern.
āno they donāt hurt, itās like- tingly, i think. feels throbby and uncomfortable. it um-,ā you shifted in your seat, eyes locked on your mary-jane clad feet.
āitās okay, take your time,ā
āit makes me pee a little, i keep having to change my- my underwear,ā you eyes began to sting in humiliation, knowing that if your parents found out that youād been wetting yourself at the age of 18, theyād never speak to you again.
āsh, sh thereās nothing to be embarrassed about. are you sure itās pee? or is it thicker, maybe a clearish-white?ā
āyeah, itās just like that, and itās sticky too,ā
āi think i know the problem, y/n. itās easily treated, but youāll need regular treatments with me to keep it contained, okay?ā he wheeled his chair closer to his desk, typing something in his computer, nodding when you meekly said okay.
you were beyond relieved that you were going to be okay, that you wouldnāt have to confess your sins to the priest and your parents, that you could be cured by your nice doctor.
āalright, i need you to fully undress, get into this gown and lay down on the bed for me, then we can start the first session,ā he gave you no room for arguments, handing you a pale blue hospital gown and turning back to his computer.
you shuffled over to the bed, slowly undressing and blanching at the thought of him seeing you borderline naked. your family were very christian and at a young age you had promised to never ruin yourself, especially not before marriage. youād never been allowed any boyfriends growing up, always heavily punished if youād been caught even looking at a boy for too long.
youād since learnt your lesson, only having girl friends, steering clear of anyone outside of the church and keeping your head down in public. the idea that dr lupin would be seeing you down there, was enough to bring you close to tears.
you peered over your shoulder periodically, nervous that heād turn around and catch a peep of your bare skin.
slipping into the gown, you climbed onto the bed, laying back as you called out to him that you were ready.
you watched dr lupin set up, snapping on his gloves and sanitising various terrifying looking equipment on his metal table.
ājust need you to pop your feet in the stirrups, lovely girl,ā
you carefully did as he said, legs spread wide and feeling oh so vulnerable, but terribly scared of disappointing him. you hated it, but a small part of you was loving the way his hands gripped your ankles when he strapped you in, murmuring reassurances about it being for everyoneās safety, thumb stroking along your delicate skin.
eventually, he stood between your legs, blue gloved hands hovering above your private parts, āis it okay if i start? iāll need to touch you.ā
you nodded your consent, breath hitching as he made contact with your very inner thigh, fingertips sliding closer to where the problem originated, his eyes never leaving the area.
āare you having those feelings now? youāre all wet, love,ā
a tear finally slipped free, cooling your burning cheeks as you turned your head away, shame consuming you.
āoh baby, itās okay, iām gonna help you, you want me to make you feel better?ā
you nodded, finally looking up at him with salty tears glittering in your pretty eyes, wanting nothing more than this horrible feeling to go away. you wanted dr lupin to make you all better.
his digits glide over your pussy, your warm slick coating them. you whimper when he hits your sensitive clit, legs twitching in response. the taste of iron coated your tongue, biting down as a pathetic effort to try and keep quiet, mindful of other patients in the waiting room just down the hall.
he slowly started circling it, free hand going to press at your throbbing hole, āfuck, you really arenāt very well, are you poppet? sāalright, i have just the thing to make you feel good again, itāll fix you right up,ā
you cried out when a finger entered you, tight walls spasming around the foreign object. sobbing and shaking, so overcome with pleasure with him working you up to your fast approaching orgasm. you let out a sharp gasp, confused as to what was happening to your body. you were losing control of your movements, and you began to worry that you were being possessed by a demon.
those thoughts were cleared from your mind when you came with a squeal, thighs closing around his hands in an effort to get the overwhelming pleasure to stop. you were astounded that something medical could feel so amazing, or even that it was possible to feel like this at all. you felt very lucky that you had such a good doctor, even if he made you feel flustered.
already, the feeling deep in your belly was starting to be satiated, but you really hoped that there would be more treatment today, as it still lingered and you desperately needed to feel that bliss again.
when he pulled his fingers away, he could see the white substance ringed around them, arousal fluid still connecting your heat to him in strings. his erection was pulsing against his trousers, dampening the fabric there as he tried to hold back from corrupting you too much.
oh well, too late now.
he whispered praises to you, rubbing your thighs and smearing your cum all over them as he tried to calm you down, smiling softly when you reopened your eyes.
āthat was intense, huh? you did so well for me, just need one more from you, then youāre all done for today. i know, itās a lot, but itās really important that we fully complete the treatment, especially seeing as you shook so much,ā
you nodded hazily, head much too clouded in pleasure to be able to take in what he was saying. youād never felt that good in your life, and you supposed that it was a good thing that youād gone to the doctors first instead of the priest, feeling much better already.
still so caught up in your mind, you didnāt pay any attention to what dr lupin was doing, not noticing him snapping off his gloves before unbuckling his belt and pulling out his reddened cock.
āthis piece of equipment is really gonna make a lot of difference in your recovery,ā he said, rubbing his tip along your puffy entrance, groaning quietly when it caught, slipping inside slightly.
you moaned loudly when he finally pushed in, eyes rolling to the back of your head at the mixture of pleasure and pain.
dr lupin had to hold still for a moment, trying to hold back from giving you a creampie already at the sight of your virgin blood staining his cock, pearly white and crimson mixing to create a rosy pink that coated him.
checking that you were doing okay, he pulled out until only his tip was left inside of you. fingers grasping at your waist, hard enough that he knew it would leave plum coloured bruising, remus gave you no warning before he began to pound into you, letting out guttural groans as your back arched off the bed.
the clinical paper ripped beneath you, his hips slapping against you, the two of you moaned, fully giving up on staying quiet, getting lost in the feel of each other.
his rough hands grabbed at your ass, tugging you towards him with each thrust, sweat collecting along his hairline. his eyes switched between looking at your face and your pussy, tears still spilling over with a heated face, pussy covered in your shared fluids, throbbing around him.
feeling your high building up again, he held back his own, wanting to finally release together, he lifted a hand off of your ass, circling steadily over your little button to push you over the edge.
the band coiling inside of you finally snapped, and you whimpered as you squirmed around, body shaking uncontrollably. your nails dug into the sides of the bed, trying to hold on as he worked you through your orgasm, groaning out as he too let go.
you felt his hot cum spurting inside of you, moaning at the new feeling, praying internally that this would never end. your previously arched back fell down as your orgasm ended, aftershocks still wracking your body. you were happy that he had gotten to feel this good too, even if you didnāt understand what that fluid was, or why heād felt pleasure as well.
breathless, his body involuntarily folded itself over in exhaustion, slumping down onto yours. he tried to catch his breath, feeling your chest expand and collapse underneath his face, heart beating wildly.
he slid he cock out of you, and you were just about lucid enough to notice this time that the piece of equipment was attached to his body. you thought it was quite handy to have something so useful joined onto him, wondering if that was a part of the training to become a doctor.
hot cum poured out of your abused hole, trailing down onto the ripped up clinical paper, soaking the already damp material. remus pulled it out from under you, binning it before grabbing a couple of baby wipes from a nearby drawer.
āgood girl, did amazing for me, baby. yāmight just be my best patient,ā
he wiped you down, soothing you when you jolted from the cold feeling of the wipes, unstrapping your ankles, then guiding you into slowly standing and redressing, turning away when necessary but occasionally peering over his shoulder to catch glimpses of your pretty body.
āi think weāll book you in for another session, letās say two days from now? is 2:00pm alright with you?ā he asked when you were ready to leave.
you quickly agreed, already excited for the next appointment. he helped you out to the car park where your parents were already waiting for you, ignoring the dirty look the receptionist gave the two of you, patiently holding you up as you stumbled along, before subtly patting at your bum, telling you that he canāt wait to see you again.
Heyyy do you plan on continuing your roommates series? It was my all time favorite
full transparency itās 50/50, i havenāt written anything in so long that i donāt even know where i was going with it. iāll end it there before i get to yapping š
Summary: Following Lily's misconception about James and Y/n dating, James clarifies the situation by revealing that Sirius and Y/n are actually the ones in a relationship. They're not.
Warnings: Language, jealousy, reader wearing a bikini, fake dating, smut 18+ dni, male masturbation, unprotected sex, fingering, oral, and p in v. Let me know if there's more!
Word Count: 11.6k
A/N š Can you tell that I was listening to Fleetwood Mac when I named this? I am so excited to have finally finished this, it's been my baby for the last little bit. Hope you guys enjoy it, and as always, I would love to hear your thoughts! Also, this is the first time I've written smut into a fic in ages, so it might not be the best.
"I may have severely fucked up." James confesses, his expression riddled with guilt as he stands before you. His chest heaves as if he sprinted directly to this spotāitās a likely scenario.
Remus glances up from beside you; the two of you had been immersed in your studies in the common room when James disrupted the pleasant atmosphere. The comfortable bubble you had established is shattered, thanks to James. It's clear that neither of you will be able to resume your essays now.
His admission doesn't catch you off guard; after all, James has sought you out countless times seeking assistance after his mishaps. Being lifelong best friends, you've become accustomed to being the one to untangle his messes.
Your parents were best friends, and as a result, you two were practically raised to be as well. It worked, much to both your mums' joy and James and you grew up inseparable. As the more level-headed one between the two of you, you often found yourself trailing after James, tasked with picking up the pieces.Ā
It was usually in the aftermath of pranks spiraling out of control, moments when he impulsively voiced things he shouldn't have, or instances when he procrastinated excessively on his essays, inevitably turning to you for assistance. Surprisingly, it's become amusing to you, a routine in your friendship dynamic.
It never truly bothered you that he consistently found himself in trouble and relied on you to fix things. It simply became part of your friendship, albeit occasionally testing your patience and prompting you to tell him off. However, overall, you remained steadfast in your willingness to mend the pieces and support him through it all.
You undeniably held the title of James Potter's closest friend.
You narrow your eyes skeptically, folding your arms across the table, inviting an air of interrogation, āDefine severely.ā
He adopts a sheepish demeanor, nervously rubbing the back of his neck while his gaze flits off to the side, betraying his discomfort, āI donāt think youāre going to like it.ā
"Youāre not starting off strong." You quip, an amused smile dancing on your lips. Remus chuckles from his position beside you.
"Y/n." James responds, his expression urging you to take him seriously.
āJames.ā You mimic.
He shoots you a brief, narrow-eyed glance, āLily and I were chatting, like really chatting,ā He begins, exhaling audibly as he settles into the chair opposite you, his expression morphing into a grimace. āShe told me why she hasnāt taken me seriously when I flirt with her.ā
You pause, a flicker of confusion crossing your features, āAnd where exactly did you severely fuck up?ā
"She mentioned she thought we were a couple." He remarks, his hands gesturing wildly between the two of you, his expression a mix of incredulity and amusement. "Can you believe that? You and me?"
It's not entirely unexpected. Countless times, people have mistaken you both for a couple. Even your parents harbored the belief that you two would inevitably end up together when you were younger. You were convinced that both of your mothers still had a quiet hope that you and James would soon announce your relationship.Ā
You furrow your brows as you watch him uneasily, āOkay, and where did you severely fuck up in this?ā
āI panicked, okay?ā James looks guilty when he blurts this out, nearly shouting at you. āShe kept saying it wasnāt fair for me to flirt with her because of you. She didnāt want your feelings to get hurt, and she wouldnāt listen when I said we were just friends. And I panicked.āĀ
āMate, get to the bloody point.ā Remus huffs out, clearly tired of James dragging out his story. Nothing irked Remus more than when James or Sirius took an eternity to get to the point of their story.
"I may have said you're dating Sirius." He interjects, his face contorting into a grimace, his anticipation evident in his nervous demeanor.
āWhat?ā You hiss, exasperation evident in your tone, āHave you taken too many hits to the head? James, we are not dating!ā
James protests, "But Lily doesn't know that! If you two could just pretend-"
"No, absolutely not! That is going too far." You assert, shooting James a frustrated look, while Remus wears an amused expression.
"Y/n, please. This could finally be my chance with Lily!" James pleads, desperately trying to salvage the plan he had pinned his hopes on.
"Starting your new relationship with a lie, are you?" You grumble, feeling the tension in your temples as you massage them. Most of the stress stems from spending prolonged hours studying but James is undoubtedly adding to it.
James shrugs a mischievous glint in his eyes, "Well, not really. You and Sirius already flirt a lot. Itās not that far off from the truth."
James was well aware of your feelings for Sirius; he had observed the lovesick looks you gave him from the very first day you met. While he teased you occasionally about it, James understood that what you felt for Sirius was more than just a crush, although you would never admit it out loud.
Your frustration deepens, "It absolutely is far off from the truth. Lily probably didnāt even believe you! There's no evidence for her to believe the idea that we are together.ā You retort, the disbelief evident in your voice. James's casual attitude only adds to your exasperation.
Remus interjects with a sound of protest from beside you, shooting you a smug look, āThere's evidence to believe it." He insists.
"Are you joking?" You deadpan, incredulity lacing your words as you turn to Remus. He raises his eyebrows teasingly at you. He considers mentioning how Sirius flirts with you more than anyone else, but he fears Sirius might end up throttling him if he did.
Since James first introduced you to Sirius, you harbored a crush on him. Realistically, you knew it was futile; Sirius had no shortage of admirers. So, you treasured being counted among his closest friends. Being his friend was manageable; it kept your expectations in check. However, the thought of Sirius acting like he had feelings for you, that wouldnāt be something you would handle well.
James interjects with a burst of enthusiasm, "Lily believed it. She even said she wasn't surprised."
"But she thought you and I were together?" You retort, your tone dripping with sarcasm as you try to make sense of the situation. Your tone came out snippier than you intended, but stress had a tight grip on you. The mere thought of pretending to be with Sirius sent you spiraling into anxiety.
"She might've just been jealous, wanting to know if you had feelings for James before she finally goes for him." Remus suggests casually, and James' face lights up with sudden realization.
James leans toward Remus with anticipation, hanging onto his words, āYou think she was jealous?ā
"Does Sirius even know?" You interject, catching James's glance. His expression betrays disappointment, evidently hoping for more details from Remus regarding Lily's potential jealousy.
James shakes his head, and you scoff, preparing to launch into a lecture about why this is a terrible idea. Before you can begin, Remus cuts you off, āHereās your chance to tell him.āĀ
You glance up to see Sirius making his way through the library, and you resist letting out a sigh at how effortlessly handsome he appears. Your stomach plummets at the sight of a stunning girl engaging in effortless conversation with him. Their laughter rings out, casting a shadow of unease over you. You strain to catch snippets of their conversation, but the sound of Sirius's laughter leaves you feeling unsettled. Despite not knowing her name, her familiar face from the common room lingers in your mind, adding to the discomfort gnawing at your gut. James nudges you, and when you glance at him, he gives you a knowing look.
"Glad to see you guys are having study dates without Peter and me." Sirius jokes, settling into the seat next to James. Relief washes over you as you notice that the girl who was with him before is no longer by his side. As he looks up at you, he notices the disgruntled expression on your face, and his brows furrow in concern, "You okay?"Ā
Remus chuckles at the question, finding the glare you shoot James hilarious. It's evident he's thoroughly entertained by the entire situation.
āAsk James about what he told Lily.ā You sigh, and James sends Sirius a nervous smile when Sirius turns his attention to him.
"What'd you do?" Sirius asks, his eyes darting back to you, noticing your uncomfortable expression. Your stomach tightens with nerves at the mere thought of Sirius' reaction. Remus leans back in his chair, excited to see how this will all play out.Ā
"Lily and I were talking today," James begins, "and she wouldn't stop going on about how she thinks Y/n is in love with me, and that it's not fair for me to flirt with her because I could be hurting Y/n."
"She thinks I'm in love with you?" You exclaim, completely taken aback, unaware of the barely visible flinch on Sirius' face at James' words. Remus catches it, his keen gaze not missing a beat.
James ignores you, āAnyways, I said that itās not a problem because you and Y/n are dating.ā James finishes his statement cautiously, his gaze fixed on Sirius, waiting for his reaction. You find yourself holding your breath, your eyes fixed intently on Sirius, awaiting his response as well.
"You told Lily that Y/n's my girl?" Sirius asks casually, causing your stomach to instantly flip at the term. You will yourself to focus on James instead of the warmth that Siriusā words cause.
"I panicked, and that's what came out. So, if you guys could pretend you're madly in love, that would be great!" James blurts out, and you feel the urge to slap him, hard. You're ready to snap at him, to explain why this request is so unfair to both of you.
But then Sirius just shrugs, "Sure, shouldn't be too hard, right, sweet girl?" He says, and your heart skips a beat at the endearment.
You're floundering, not expecting Sirius to agree so readily. Not once has he maintained a steady relationship, so pretending you two are dating is a significant request. His quick agreement sends your mind into a whirlwind of thoughts. For a fleeting moment, you wonder if he agrees so easily because he harbors feelings for you. But you quickly shut down that line of thinking.
Youāre delusional. You truly are.
"Sure, that shouldn't be too bad." You agree, hoping you don't appear as panicked as you feel inside.
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"I need you two to amp it up. Lily is eating breakfast with us today." James declares, prompting you to glance up from your breakfast, disbelief written all over your face. He takes a bite of bacon and casually observes you as though his request is perfectly normal.
"We've switched spots, is that not enough for you?" You retort sarcastically, and Remus shakes his head, wearing an entertained smile as he continues eating breakfast. He can tell you're panicking about pretending to be with Sirius; your uncertainty is palpable, painfully obvious to everyone at the table.
You're usually seated between James and Peter, but when you attempted to slide into the seat this morning, James slammed his hand down on the seat and instructed you to sit next to your boyfriend, wearing a cocky smile. Peter snorted softly but quickly replaced it with a sympathetic smile, silently apologizing for his reaction.
"We all know Sirius is into PDA, and you look terrified to even be sitting next to him." Peter points out, and you find yourself at a loss for words.Ā
Were you two supposed to be super affectionate? Would Sirius find it weird if you initiated it? Questions swirl in your mind, leaving you uncertain about how to proceed.
"I am not terrified. I just donāt know how to act." You insist.
"Act like youāre in love with him; it shouldnāt be too hard, right?" James quips, earning a narrowed glance from you. He responds with a playful wink.
"The boys are right. You need to sit closer to me.ā Sirius declares as his arm slips around your waist, drawing you closer to him. You squeak his name in surprise, flustered at how easily he moves you. The boys chuckle at your bewildered expression, relishing in your embarrassment.
You feel disappointed when he releases you and even more so when he doesn't pull you entirely into his side. Instead, you find yourselves sitting shoulder to shoulder, the distance between you feeling more pronounced than ever.
"I'm still waiting on the PDA." Remus says with a playful smirk, his eyes dancing mischievously as he glances at you.
You nudge Remus in the side, and he playfully nudges you back, causing you to bump into Sirius' side. Sirius surprises you by wrapping his arm around you and keeping you against him while playfully calling out, "Oi, back off, mate." The unexpected gesture leaves you pleasantly surprised, a warmth spreading through you as you lean into his embrace.
James watches as Sirius's cheeks flush, a grin spreading across his face as he gazes down at you. You appear flustered but content, being so close to him, and James can't help but grin at the scene unfolding before him.
"We're not going to be all over each other." You protest, trying to distract from Sirius's arm around you. A flush of embarrassment creeps up your cheeks as you contemplate the idea of acting like a couple with Sirius.
"Why not?" James leans forward with a grin, clearly finding amusement in the situation. āThat is what most couples do. Plus, Sirius openly flirts with everyone. But he wonāt kiss his own girlfriend? Itās not believable.ā
āMerlin, we should have talked about this last night.ā You grumble under your breath, and Sirius chuckles beside you. He's entirely at ease, showing no concern whatsoever about playing the role of your boyfriend. You make an effort not to let your worries spiral out of control with that observation.
"Listen, we can do whatever you're comfortable with. If you don't want to kiss, then we don't have to," Sirius says gently, "but it would be sort of odd for us not to be somewhat affectionate."
He doesn't want to overwhelm you or do anything that could make you uncomfortable. However, there's a hint of exhilaration in him at the thought of holding you close and calling you pet names that were once off-limits. And the thought of possibly kissing you?
Surviving that would be inconceivable for him.
"You're right," You nod. āLet's just start off slow. It's going to be weird if we're all over each other today when yesterday we didn't even sit together."
"Yeah, yeah! Flirt, be a little touchy, throw some cute pet names in here, will you, Sirius?" James calls out excitedly. You send him a look that you hope he understands as shut the fuck up. Instead of acknowledging your discomfort, James makes a heart shape with his hands, which adds to your annoyance.
Sirius presses a quick kiss to your head, āFuck off, mate. I know how to flirt with my girlfriend, right baby?ā You freeze, your eyes wide with disbelief, while the boys laugh at your reaction. How exactly were you supposed to survive this?
You fall into a comfortable silence, content to enjoy your breakfast as James issues his warnings to the boys, cautioning them to behave themselves. Remus, with a subtle eye roll, acknowledges James's words while Peter nods emphatically in agreement. Meanwhile, Sirius eagerly outlines every embarrassing memory he plans to share with Lily.
āY/n, get your man in check.ā James playfully teases, tossing a grape in Sirius's direction, a mischievous glint in his eye.
"Good morning." Lily greets warmly. You all turn to see her approaching, her expression a mix of warmth and hesitance, as if she's debating whether to turn around and go to her usual spot.
James abruptly stands up, his hip accidentally knocking into the table with a thud. He stifles a wince, trying to maintain his composure as he greets Lily, who tries unsuccessfully to suppress a smile at his reaction. Remus, feeling secondhand embarrassment, cringes and turns back to his breakfast, unable to bear witnessing James's further embarrassment.
"Y'ready for this?" Sirius leans in, his voice lowered to a hushed tone meant only for you, effectively distracting you from eavesdropping on James and Lily's conversation. With you still pressed against his side, you glance up at him, realizing you're mere inches away from each other.Ā
You're so close that you could practically count each of his eyelashes, feeling the warmth of his breath mingling with yours, creating an intimate connection that electrifies the air around you. It feels as though an invisible force is drawing you closer, tempting you to tilt your head forward ever so slightly, the urge to kiss him almost palpable in the air between you.
You clear your throat, attempting to banish the thought from your mind. "I think so. We're newly dating, so don't go overboard with it." You remind him, a gentle smile playing on your lips.
āWhen have I ever gone overboard with anything in my life?ā The smile he gives you is teasing, and it makes your heart pound to have him this close, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he smiles at you like that.
You hum softly in response, āI can think of quite a few times.ā
His voice carries a flirtatious tone, āCan you?ā
āGood morning, Lily.ā Peter's gentle and amiable voice effortlessly draws your attention away from Sirius. Disappointment floods through him as he realizes that your attention has shifted away from him, a pang of longing tugging at his heartstrings.
Lily settles between Peter and James. For a brief second, you feel a pang of dismay because that's your spot. However, when you notice James's pink cheeks and flustered expression, you forget all about it. Your primary concern is James's happiness; seeing him flustered like that makes you smile.
Breakfast goes smoothly. Lily fits seamlessly into your group, and you can tell it makes James swoon. He doesn't even mind that they aren't talking much. He simply enjoys seeing the girl he's so hopelessly infatuated with getting along so well with his best friends. You and Sirius aren't acting much differently than you normally do, just sitting close to each other and chatting. However, when Lily turns to you and Sirius, a wave of nervousness washes over you.
āI was so excited to hear you guys were together!ā
"Oh yeah? So you can finally go for James with a clear conscience?" Sirius grins, teasing Lily, who looks thoroughly embarrassed. You nudge Sirius in the side, and he responds by giving your hip a gentle squeeze. James sends Sirius an incredulous look while Remus and Peter chuckle at the playful banter.
Lily tucks a lock of hair behind her ear and clears her throat; her cheeks tinged with a hint of pink. "Uh, no, just that you two have obviously had feelings for each other for years. Everyone knew."
You're at a loss for words. Is that really what people thought? Clearly, they read you right, but you werenāt sure what to think about Sirius having feelings for you. Maybe he did, or maybe they were mistaking it for how he constantly flirted with you. But that was just how Sirius was; it didnāt necessarily mean he had romantic feelings for you.
"Haven't gotten her out of my head since the day I met her." Sirius says casually, his right elbow resting on the table as he pops a piece of bacon into his mouth. His other arm remains securely wrapped around your waist, holding you close to his side with a gentle yet firm embrace.
You look at him in shock, your eyes widening at his unexpected confession. Even the boys look slightly startled at Sirius' words, their eyes darting between you and him.
āThatās so sweet.ā Lily says softly, her eyes glowing with genuine happiness as she sends you a warm smile. The sight tugs at your heartstrings but also stirs up guilt in the pit of your stomach. Lying always made you feel uneasy, like a weight was pressing down on your chest.
"Sirius, I can't believe you thought that sheā" Lily begins, her voice trailing off as James interjects, his interruption tinged with a hint of urgency.
"Okay, love! I think I should walk you to class, don't y' think?" James stands up from the table, extending his hand towards Lily..
Lily looks slightly confused, but she takes his hand nonetheless. As they walk away, James glances back and sends a wink in Sirius' direction. Your attention immediately shifts to Sirius, curiosity written all over your face as youāre about to inquire about Lily's comment.
Sirius cuts you off before you can ask, shaking his head with a gentle smile and flushed cheeks, "Don't even bother asking; Iām not telling you what she was talking about.ā
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Seated comfortably next to Peter on the Gryffindor common room couch, you find yourself chatting quietly. Peter leans in, sharing a secret about his crush on a Ravenclaw girl. He's sworn you to secrecy, seeking your advice on navigating this newfound affection without enduring the teasing of the rest of the Marauders. Your gasp of excitement nearly betrays the secret, but you quickly compose yourself, offering a reassuring smile to Peter as you promise to keep his confidence.
"Who is she?" You ask, excitement bubbling up in your voice, but Peter responds with a hint of apprehension in his expression.
"I'm going to keep that a secret a little longer. Your reaction a second ago nearly gave it away." He teases, though his tone also carries a note of seriousness.
You chuckle, offering a playful grin. "I'll be here when you're ready to tell me. And I promise I won't get so excited next time."
"Oi! Are you two sharing secrets over there?" James calls out, his voice carrying a hint of curiosity. Heās sat with his back to the flickering flames. Peter tenses beside you, but you maintain an easy smile as you turn towards James. Remus and Sirius are lounging in the armchairs nearby, their attention piqued by the exchange.
"All my deepest darkest secrets." You tease, flashing James a mischievous grin as he furrows his brow and sits up, clearly intrigued by your response.
āY/n, as your best friend, I better know all these secrets.ā James wears a pout, his expression tinged with a hint of concern, as if he's genuinely worried that you and Peter are sharing secrets he's not privy to.
James has always been fiercely protective of your friendship. Despite being close to the boys, your bond with James was stronger. There was nothing that the two of you didn't confide in each other; he honestly did know all your secrets.
āYou do.ā You smile reassuringly, and James's expression breaks into a satisfied grin.
The boys continue their soft conversation by the crackling fire, the warm glow casting flickering shadows across the room, while you and Peter sit in a comfortable silence, enveloped in the cozy atmosphere. After stifling a good five yawns, you glance at the time and decide it's probably best to head to your dormitory, the quiet of the common room signaling how late it was.
You inch closer to Peter, before summoning the courage to lean over and envelop him in a comforting embrace, your arms encircling his shoulders. He's momentarily taken aback, a hint of tension evident in his frame, but soon he relaxes, reciprocating by enfolding you in his arms, his touch offering solace and reassurance. It's a gesture that feels somewhat out of character for you, but after his heartfelt confession, it seems like the most natural thing to do, a silent affirmation of support for him.
"I think I'm going to call it a night," You tell him softly, squeezing him tight. "But I promise we'll talk more tomorrow."
āIād like that.ā He smiles at you as you pull away. You reach for your bag, slinging it over your shoulder before turning to head towards the stairs leading to your dorm.
āGoodnight boys!ā You call out softly over your shoulder, your voice echoing in the quiet common room, before disappearing up the stairs. Sirius watches you go, his gaze lingering on your retreating figure, his thoughts following you long after you've vanished from sight. Ever since you moved to hug Peter, his attention has been drawn to you, a mixture of curiosity and jealously settling in his stomach.
"Why the hell did you get a hug?" Sirius asks, his tone laced with bitterness as his gaze shifts to Peter, who appears taken aback by the sudden tension in the room. Remus and James exchange amused glances, a silent acknowledgment passing between them before they refocus their attention on Peter, waiting expectantly for an explanation to unravel the brewing tension.
āI donāt know, she just hugged me.ā Peter squirms uncomfortably in his seat, his confidence waning as he's put on the spot.
Sirius nods slowly, his lips pursing in contemplation. His tone, carefully measured, betrays the longing and a hint of possessiveness that he struggles to conceal, "What were you guys talking about over there?"
Remus interjects with a teasing tone, "Careful, Pads. You sound jealous." A playful glint dances in his eyes as he notices Sirius' furrowed brows and the discontent on his face.
āHeās got the boyfriend role down.ā James quips, and Sirius sends them both a glare.
āIām not jealous,ā Sirius repeats quite grumpily. āI just donāt understand why Peter got a hug, and we didnāt.ā
James lets out a hearty laugh while Remus shakes his head, a chuckle escaping him in sheer disbelief.
"You're jealous because you have feelings for her." James states matter-of-factly.
Sirius begins to shake his head in denial, but Remus swiftly interjects, his voice firm and unwavering, "āHaven't gotten her out of my head since the day I met her.ā What the fuck was that then?ā Remus repeats his words from the other day, his voice carrying a mixture of disbelief and amusement, perfectly mimicking Sirius' tone.
James bursts into laughter, the sound hearty and infectious, while Peter offers a small smile, observing Sirius as he struggles to find a response.
āNot to mention, youāve been staring Peter down ever since Y/n touched him.ā Remus remarks, while Sirius gazes blankly at him, his expression unreadable as he nervously chews on his bottom lip.
āYou really have.ā Peter adds with a grimace.
āYou like her, mate.ā Remus concludes, his words carrying a sense of finality that lingers in the air.
Sirius sighs heavily, the weight of the conversation pressing upon him as he leans back in his armchair, his brow furrowed in deep thought. He carefully considers the boys' words. Throughout his friendship with you, he navigated his feelings with caution, always mindful of the unspoken boundaries set by your close relationship with James. He had harbored an underlying fear that James would vehemently oppose any romantic involvement between you and him. The idea of James remaining seemingly unfazed by the idea had thrown Sirius off balance. It vastly differed from the scenarios he had envisioned, where James would react with fierce anger upon learning of Sirius' affection for you. The realization left Sirius feeling uncertain. Did that mean he could actually go for you?
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As the air is filled with a comforting warmth, birdsong emanates from the trees, the sun bathes everything in its golden light, and leaves sway gracefully in the gentle breeze. The boys, steadfast in their determination, unanimously agree: today is the perfect day to spend idly by the lake.
Laughter and shouts echo across the shimmering waters as the boys swim around in the lake, reaching where you recline on a soft towel next to Lily. Immersed in gossip with her, you find comfort in this rare moment of uninterrupted girl time, a welcome respite from the usual days tethered to the boys' sides. You were constantly in the company of at least one of the four.
You feel a twinge of regret in your chest, realizing you haven't made an effort to have a close friendship with the girls. And you really should have. It wasn't a deliberate choice; rather, James had always been your go-to person. Then, when you met the boys, you naturally formed close bonds with them too. The thought of branching out and making more friends never really crossed your mind.
Though you value your bond with the boys, you desperately need to spend more time with the girls, you decided. The idea of James and Lily getting together sparks hope that you might enjoy more of those much-needed moments in the future.
āYou realize Sirius canāt take his eyes off you, right?ā You choose to remain silent, only giving a shrug, fully aware that Sirius is merely feigning infatuation with you. To his credit, he's played the part convincingly throughout the entire week. There have been moments when you've found yourself questioning the authenticity of his actions, pondering whether his affection is genuine or merely his acting skills.
For someone who hadn't delved much into relationships, he possessed an innate ability at treating you like you were the only girl in his world. Whether it was a reassuring hand on your lower back as you maneuvered through the crowded halls, a tender kiss planted on your forehead when you parted way, or the subtle exchange of flirty smiles whenever your eyes met across the room.
As Lily sits up, captivated by the boys' playful splashes, Sirius's laughter drifts to your ears, igniting a lovesick smile upon your lips. Even the mere echo of his laughter sends butterflies fluttering in your stomach, stirring the depths of your affection.
It was driving you to the brink of obsession. If this was the experience of being Sirius' girl, you craved it more than ever.
Sirius' laughter drifts over from the lake, reaching your ears, and a subconscious smile graces your lips. Lily must have seen your reaction, āMerlin, you really like him, donāt you?āĀ
Despite your efforts to contain it, a sigh betrays your true feelings, "Yeah, I really do."
Confessing this feels unsettling. You've never divulged to anyone the depth of your emotions for Sirius, and now you're doing so under the guise of a fabricated relationship. James understood without the need for spoken words; he had an uncanny ability to read you like an open book. Guilt churns in your stomach once more as you think about deceiving Lily. What will her reaction be when you reveal that you and Sirius were never actually together?
The silence lingers for a few moments before you gently break it, "What were you about to say at breakfast the other day? Before James interrupted?"
Lily's expression shifts from confusion to excitement in a heartbeat, her eyes lighting up, āOh, in Charms! I finally wrangled it out of Sirius that he had feelings for you. But he insisted that nothing was ever going to happen because you didnāt like him back.āĀ
It feels as though you've been plunged into a state of shock. Your mind goes momentarily blank, a surge of disbelief flooding your senses as you struggle to comprehend Lily's words. Your body freezes in place, grappling with the whirlwind of emotions unleashed by her revelation. Did you hear her correctly?
āWhen was this?ā Your voice escapes breathless and startled, yet Lily appears oblivious to your state of unease.
āJust a couple of weeks ago! Iām so glad he finally told you how he felt.ā Lily smiles sweetly before laying back onto her towel, obviously to the way youāre filled with nerves.
You hear a whistle, and without surprise, your best friend throws himself between you and Lily, āDonāt you two look pretty?ā
Lily gasps as James leans down, playfully pressing his lips against her cheek, his hair dripping water onto her. Though she protests, you both can tell she doesn't truly mean it.
As James and Lily become enveloped in their own bubble, you find yourself drifting back to the conversation from a moment ago. Your mind whirls, still muddled by Lily's words. Sirius had feelings for you. Why hadn't he spoken up? Did he not want anything to come of it?
Your heart stutters when Sirius drops down and hovers over you, his hands propping him up on either side of your head. You register that he's shirtless and positioned above you just before icy water cascades from his hair onto your skin. A startled cry escapes you as the cold droplets trickle down your cheeks, tracing a chilling path along your neck and chest.
āSirius Black!ā You had intended to sound angry, but laughter slips past your lips, betraying your emotions. Sirius grins at your reaction, his eyes trailing down from your eyes to shamelessly check out the bikini top you have on.
The boys had been teasing him relentlessly after witnessing how he practically fell to his knees when you walked into the common room wearing a bikini top and tiny denim shorts. You were oblivious to his gaze, heading straight for Lily and launching into a conversation about who knows what.
He couldn't tear his eyes away from you all day.
He feigns ignorance as you whine at him, responding with a sweet smile instead, āWhat, sweet girl?āĀ
"Get off!" You squeal, though your tone lacks genuine irritation. Deep down, you revel in his proximity, secretly enjoying the feeling of having him so close, enveloping you in his presence.
āWhatever you want, sweet girl.ā He mutters as he rolls off of you, repositioning himself so he's sitting behind you. With a gentle tap on your shoulder, he prompts you to sit up, then guides you back until your back is against his chest. Once you're settled, he loosely wraps his arms around your chest and plants a kiss on the top of your head.
Remus catches your eye as he and Peter make their way to their towels. Unlike Sirius and James, they hadn't hurried over to you and Lily. Remus sends you a sly, suggestive glance, and you respond by narrowing your eyes at him playfully.
Sirius and Remus engage in their own conversation, their voices blending into the background as Peter gestures for you to follow him. Sirius protests lightly, his eyes following you as you peel away from his side to accompany Peter down to the lake.Ā
You're away for no more than twenty minutes, effortlessly offering Peter advice on how he can establish a friendship with the girl he likes, perhaps making it easier for him to ask her out in the future.
Despite Remus' attempts to draw him back into the conversation, Sirius remains preoccupied, his gaze fixed on you until you eventually return and settle back onto the towel beside him, seeking the familiar comfort of his presence. It's only then that Sirius relaxes, draping his arm around you protectively and planting a tender kiss atop your head.
He despises the twinge of jealousy that creeps in every time Peter has you to himself.
āMate, youāre fucked.ā Remus chuckles, and you assume it's due to something amusing said during their conversation. Sirius, on the other hand, simply rolls his eyes and playfully extends his middle finger in Remus' direction, a gesture of mock annoyance that elicits a smirk from both of them.
You spend the remainder of the afternoon draped over Sirius, basking in the warmth of the sun as you chat with your friends. It's been a while since you've felt so at ease.
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After lounging by the lake all afternoon, the thought of cleaning up for a party you had little interest in attending felt like an unnecessary chore. However, after an hour of James' persistent pleading, you eventually gave in and agreed to go. You were confused about why he insisted on your presence, especially when he'd be busy spending the evening with Lily. You couldn't help but think you could have been snug in bed with a good book instead.
āHow long do you think it will take before they get together?ā You turn to Remus, who is leaning against the wall next to you. He wasn't thrilled about coming tonight, either. The full moon was approaching, and he could already feel the effects beginning to take hold.
You scan the bustling room, eager to catch a glimpse of James and determine Lily's proximity. Impatience simmers within you as you wait for them to get together. Their relationship seems overdue, and youāre desperate for it to happen, bringing an end to the pretense you and Sirius are forced to maintain. Though being Sirius' girlfriend has its perks, the artificiality of the situation weighs on your conscience.
After a leisurely afternoon enveloped in Sirius' embrace, you had returned to your room feeling unsettled. The comfort of being held by Sirius felt so genuine, yet it was all fake, and that realization unsettles you deeply. The longer this relationship goes on, the more you worry about your heart being left in pieces at the end.
āProbably any day now. Why? You arenāt having fun being Siriusā girl?ā Remus asks, casting a knowing smirk in your direction. You huff and give him a playful nudge, causing his drink to slosh around in his cup. He chuckles in response, amused by your reaction.
"It's not that, and you know it." You respond, frustration evident in your tone.
Remus turns towards you, a genuine smile on his face this time, "You guys are doing quite the job of looking infatuated with each other."
You shoot him a warning look, sensing where the conversation is headed.
But Remus persists, his gaze steady, "You should consider telling him how you feel."
You scoff. "Absolutely not."
"Why not? What have you got to lose?"
You meet his gaze, incredulous, "Our friendship, for starters."
Remus shakes his head, "Do you really think Sirius would end your friendship? I doubt you could get rid of him if you tried."
You meet Remus's gaze, your brow furrowed with uncertainty, "Okay, maybe he wouldn't end our friendship. But things would definitely get awkward, and who knows where it could lead."
Remus offers a small smile, "Or it could go well. You could end up together."
You remain silent, the weight of Remus's words sinking in as you contemplate the idea of confessing your feelings to Sirius. Your stomach churns with anxiety at the mere thought of opening up to Sirius about how you truly feel. The fear of rejection and the potential fallout from confessing hang heavy in the air, suffocating your resolve.Ā
But Lily had shared with you that Sirius had opened up about his feelings for you. Maybe there was a possibility that confessing your own feelings might not be as far-fetched as you had assumed. Maybe being with Sirius wasn't entirely out of reach.
Remus observes the slight furrow in your brow as you chew on your bottom lip, a clear indication of your spiraling thoughts. The dim light of the common room highlights the unease on your face. "Do you want a drink?" He offers, his voice gentle and reassuring.
You pause, considering his offer, grateful for the distraction, "Yes, please." You respond with a small smile, the tension in your shoulders easing slightly.
As Remus leaves to fetch you a drink, you're left alone with your thoughts, the chatter and laughter of the crowded common room serving as a backdrop to your contemplation. Your eyes wander over the sea of bodies, each occupied with their own conversations and activities, creating a lively yet chaotic atmosphere.
āY/n, hi!ā You startle as Max Townsend stands beside you, his sudden presence catching you off guard. You recall being partners in Charms a couple of weeks ago, but beyond that, your interactions had been limited.
"Hey, Max." You greet with a soft smile, noticing how his shoulders relax slightly at your acknowledgment. He settles against the wall, his posture casual yet attentive, as if genuinely interested in chatting with you.
"I know we havenāt talked much since Charms, but Iāve been meaning to catch up with you." Max says, his voice earnest as he breaks the silence between you.Ā
You're surprised by his remark, "You have?" You ask, genuine curiosity coloring your tone.
"Yeah! I enjoyed spending time with you." Max admits, his voice slightly shaky as he offers you a shy smile. You notice the faint blush coloring his cheeks, a sign of nervousness.
"I enjoyed spending time with you too! I donāt think I could have passed the last exam without your help." You respond sincerely, returning his smile with warmth. His face lights up at your words, visibly relieved.
He regains some confidence and continues, "Actually, Y/n, I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade sometime?"
Your smile falters, and you feel a pang of guilt. You have the excuse of having a boyfriend, at least. It makes things a little easier for you. For a second, you debate if you should say yes, go on a date, and move past your feelings for Sirius. But then you think about Lilyās words and how there might be a possibility he likes you back. Not only that but youāre supposed to be in a relationship right now.Ā
You can't bring yourself to say yes; truth be told, you don't really want to, anyway.
"Thatās really sweet of you to ask. But Iām dating Sirius." You reply, though the words feel heavy on your tongue, wishing they were true.
Max looks taken aback, "Sirius Black?"
"Yes." You confirm, feeling a wave of discomfort wash over you; turning someone down is always an awkward and uncomfortable experience.
Max shakes his head, looking confused, "I didnāt know Sirius-"
"You didnāt know what, Townsend?" Sirius looks hard at him while slipping his arm around your waist and handing you a drink. "Here, baby, Rem said you wanted a drink."
You thank him quietly, settling into his side with ease. Glancing up at him, you notice Sirius isn't looking at you; his gaze is fixed on Max. His jaw clenches tightly, and his usual friendly smile is absent. The message to Max is clear: back off, she's mine.
Max looks uneasy, eyes darting from you to Sirius, āUh, I didnāt know you and Y/n were together.ā
āAnd why were you talking about that?ā
āUh,ā Max looks at you briefly, his expression tinged with panic. He lets out a sigh, reminiscent of a child caught in the act and resigned to confessing. āI asked her out.ā
Sirius' entire body tenses, his tone laced with mock curiosity, āDid you?āĀ
He feels sick at the thought of you going on a date with another guy. Images flash through his mind ā Max holding your hand on a walk through Hogsmeade, flirting with you over dinner, and the possibility of him kissing you goodnight before you head back through the portrait at the end of the night.Ā
A surge of intense emotion floods him, an overwhelming desire to lash out, to throw a punch and convey the unmistakable message that you are off-limits.
But then the reality hits him: you're not off limits. You're perfectly single, and maybe you actually wanted to go out with Max. The realization sinks in, gnawing at him from the inside, intensifying the ache in his chest.
āBut look, man, I didnāt know she was your girl! Honest.ā
"Max, it's okay. Really." You interject gently, offering him a reassuring smile. Max nods frantically, clearly relieved, before hurrying off in the opposite direction and disappearing into the crowd of Gryffindors.
āWhat the hell was that?ā You turn to Sirius, but he refuses to meet your gaze. Instead, he drops his arm from your waist and leans back against the wall, taking a long sip from his drink, his expression unreadable.
āPlaying the part of your boyfriend. You should go find James, he was looking for you.ā His mutterings reach your ears, and your stomach clenches with irritation as hurt flashes over your features. He's never shut down before you, and it hurts your feelings deeply.
You donāt bother saying anything; instead, you scoff and walk away. Siriusās eyes follow you the second you leave, watching as you walk away with a heavy feeling settling in his stomach.
Maybe he did need to express his feelings to you. There might be a chance that you felt the same way. And if you didn't, at least he would know and could attempt to move on from you.
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āI think you need to check on Sirius.ā James murmurs into your ear as you stand in the common room, waiting for Lily to join you. You're flanked by the boys, but Sirius is conspicuously absent.
You glance over at him, confused, āWhy? Is he not coming down?ā
āHe bailed, said he isnāt feeling good.ā
āHe isnāt coming to Hogsmeade with us?ā You all had meticulously planned your trip to Hogsmeade during the lake outing yesterday, discussing the shops you wanted to visit and the Butterbeer you couldn't wait to taste.
āOh,ā You mutter, āIāll check on him and catch up with you guys then.āĀ
You still harbor concern for his well-being, a lingering sense of care that remains despite the the frustration you feel about last night. You ascend the stairs, faintly catching Peter's inquiry about your destination and James' response that you won't be joining them anymore. You contemplate turning around, half-tempted to inquire with James about his statement, but decided against it, choosing not to waste your energy.
You're so deeply immersed in your thoughts as you walk through the hall that you don't even notice the sound at first.
The muffled noise filtering through the boys' dorm door catches your attention, causing you to pause in front of the door. You briefly entertain the idea that Sirius might be genuinely unwell, but skepticism lingers in your mind. The persistent groans don't quite fit the pattern of someone who's just sick.
You were on the verge of turning around, genuinely considering it, until you caught a muffled moan that distinctly sounded like your name.
You pause, questioning the authenticity of what you just heard, wondering if it was a figment of your imagination or if you truly heard your name. But then you hear it, āFuck, Y/n. Feels so good.ā
Your legs turn to jelly, the words coursing through your veins like an electric shock, leaving you feeling stunned and breathless.
Without a second thought or even a plan forming in your mind, you find yourself knocking on the door. Inside, you hear a muffled curse followed by the sound of shuffling before Sirius swings the door open nearly a minute later, clad only in a pair of pajama pants. His hair is tousled, his cheeks flushed, and he's breathing heavily. The surprise on his face is evident as he takes in your unexpected presence.
āWhat were you just doing?ā Your words spill out more confrontationally than you intended, catching Sirius off guard. The surprise flickers across his face, evident in how his eyebrows knit together and his eyes widen slightly.
āUh, I-ā He glances back into his room, searching for a plausible excuse among his belongings. Flustered, he struggles to come up with a convincing lie.
"Sirius," You press, and his eyes flicker back to you. He appears guilty, aware that you've caught on. "I just heard you." You add, tone firm but not accusatory.
āMerlin, Y/n. Iām sorry I-ā He stammers, his heart sinking into the pit of his stomach at the mere thought of you possibly feeling disgusted with him or worse, refusing to remain his friend because of what heās just done.
āWhat were you thinking about?ā You ask instead, taking a deliberate step closer to him. The room feels charged with tension, and you can sense Sirius's unease. His breath hitches as your presence draws nearer, his eyes flickering with a mix of apprehension and anticipation.
He glances over your shoulder, his gaze flicking to the empty hallway outside before he answers, āYou.āĀ
āMe?ā You take a tentative step closer, your voice barely a whisper compared to before, its tone huskier, laden with curiosity and perhaps a hint of intrigue. You fix him with a daring look, a glint of challenge in your eye, as if silently daring him to take action.
He remains silent, his gaze fixed on you for a fleeting moment before he takes action, grabbing your hand and pulling you into the dorm without a word.
As soon as the door shuts, he presses you against the door, his movements swift and urgent. You let out a gasp in surprise, feeling the sudden shift in atmosphere as Sirius's intensity envelops you. His eyes, usually filled with mischief, now bore into yours with a mixture of seriousness and vulnerability, adding a layer of complexity to the moment.
āY/n. Why did you knock on the door?ā
You donāt answer at first, your eyes locked with his for a few heartbeats before you let out a sigh, āBecause I heard you say my name, and now I know you want me the same way that Iāve always wanted you.ā
Sirius doesnāt hesitate, his lips meeting yours with a sense of urgency that sends a shiver down your spine. The moment his touch connects with yours, you exhale softly, feeling the warmth of his lips against yours. With gentle pressure, you draw him closer, your arms wrapping around his shoulders while Siriusā embrace envelops you, pulling you closer as if he never wants to let go.
He initiates with a tender kiss on your lips, then gently nibbles on your bottom lip, eliciting a gasp. Seizing the opportunity of your parted lips, he intensifies the kiss, pressing forcefully into your mouth. Sirius kisses you as if each moment is the first and last time, molding you into pliancy. You willingly surrender, allowing him to kiss you into a state of blissful oblivion.
As he withdraws, a soft whimper escapes your lips in protest. He casts a questioning glance your way as he lifts the hem of your shirt, and you respond with a nod of affirmation. Slowly, he peels it off of you and lets it drop at your feet. Shamelessly, he admires your breasts and how they sit so pretty in your black bra. For a moment, the thought of apologizing for the simple garment crosses your mind, but the way his gaze lingers on you halts any inclination to do so.
He leans down, pressing kisses and nipping at the exposed skin on your neck and trailing his way down to your chest. It steals your breath away, prompting you to weave your fingers through his hair as you tilt your head back, reveling in the sensation. He's murmuring praises against your skin, ranting about how beautiful you are, how sweet your moans are, and how you drive him crazy. Your heart pounds within your chest, and for an instant, you fear its thunderous rhythm might betray you, considering how near he stands.
āTake it off.ā In a hushed tone, you speak, prompting Sirius's gaze to swiftly rise and lock with yours.
He encircles you with his arms, quickly undoing your bra, and you deftly push the straps down, allowing the garment to cascade down, unveiling your skin. Swiftly, you toss it into the growing pile that appears to be taking shape by the door.
Sirius gazes intently, his bottom lip captured between his teeth, and a subtle furrow forms between his eyebrows, āFucking hell, yāhave the prettiest tits Iāve ever seen.ā
Before you can utter a word, his mouth is on your breasts. Pressing the softest kisses onto your nipple before gently biting it, causing your breath to hitch. He bends down, mirroring the gesture with the other one.
His hands, possessively grip at your hips, act as anchors, momentarily keeping you in place. However, a growing restlessness takes hold, and you start to squirm, a subtle plea for more of his attention. Silently comprehending your unspoken desire, he wordlessly responds. A gentle tug on your hand is all the communication needed, and without a moment's hesitation, you obediently follow his lead.
Guiding you, he directs you to settle onto his bed, a silent request you readily heed. Your legs dangle over the edge of the bed as you rely on your elbows to bear all your weight.Ā
Sirius kneels in front of you, easily slipping off both of your shoes and tossing them to the side. He reaches up, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your skirt before tugging it down and off of your legs. Youāre left in a pair of gray panties that easily show how soaked you are for him.
He pushes on your knees until your legs are completely spread for him, and he can get a clear view of your soaked underwear. A hushed curse escapes his lips, the words slipping out quietly as his gaze lingers on you.
āYouāre fucking stunning. I donāt know what I did to deserve this. To deserve you.ā You bask in his words, your body thrumming with warmth and delight as his sweet sentiments wash over you.
He glances up at you, and he nearly loses it right then and there. Youāre watching him through hooded eyes, your pupils dilated wide, a silent reflection of your anticipation and desire. He doubts he could ever erase the image of the way you're gazing at him, etching it into his memory with the fervent wish to witness it for the rest of his days.
He caresses his hands along your thighs, fingers gently squeezing and kneading with each pass. Occasionally, he leans down, planting tender kisses on your sensitive skin, each one a whispered promise of affection. The closer he gets to your core, the more you squirm and let out soft whimpers.
āCan I take your panties off?ā He asks, glancing up at you from between your thighs. The pad of his thumb brushes against your clit, and you jolt in surprise.
A gasp escapes your lips as you're overtaken by the sensation, yet swiftly, you find yourself nodding frantically in response, āPlease.ā
Overrun with desperation, Sirius pulls at them with such fervor that they nearly tear as he tugs them off. You can't help but giggle at his fervor, amused by his frantic actions and the unmistakable look of pure desire written across his face. He wouldn't be surprised if he was drooling, staring the sight of your glistening pussy.
āI want to be inside of you.ā He declares, standing up from the floor, leaning over you to firmly grasp your jaw before capturing your lips in a heady, intoxicating kiss. The moan that escapes you sounds so foreign, so unlike yourself, that it catches you by surprise, leaving you momentarily taken aback. You don't bother vying for dominance, allowing him to take control of the kiss. He withdraws from you leaving your chest heaving and breaths coming in ragged gasps.
āTake your pants off.ā You demand, reaching desperately for the band of his pajamas to shove them off. Sirius beats you to the task, swiftly shoving them off himself in a display of impatience.
āSirius.ā Drool pools in your mouth at the sight of him. Long, thick, and pretty. Your lips part slightly, and you look up at Sirius in surprise, caught off guard by him. For a fleeting moment, you sit there, eyes locked, contemplating whether you'll be able to take him or not. Heās bigger than anyone you have ever been with before.
Sirius doesnāt let you stare for too long before his fingers are sliding through your soaked folds and brushing over your clit. Whimpers and moans tumble past your lips as Sirius rubs firm circles over you to get you adjusted before dipping down and pressing two fingers into you. A cry escapes you at the intrusion, and your hand instinctively reaches down to grip his bicep firmly.
Sirius startles you by leaning down and pressing the softest kiss to your clit, before licking you the bundle of nerves softly. Your body tenses with pleasure, hands gripping the sheets beneath you.
āIāve always wanted to taste you.ā He confesses a surge of heat courses through your body, igniting every nerve ending as you absorb his words. He doesnāt waste another second before leaning down and gently sucking on your clit.
"Please don't stop." You plead softly, and Sirius complies, continuing with unwavering determination. He nips and sucks, licking through your folds and holding your thighs open for him. His fingers continue to slide in and out of you; the sounds youāre making are obscene.
Youāre struck by the thojught that this doesn't compare to any other times that youāve been eaten out. But maybe it's not just his technique that feels good; it might be the fact that its Sirius whoās between your legs.
Your thighs tremble, and a euphoric sensation begins to build up in your stomach, making it feel like you are floating on a delightful high.Ā
āSirius, I need you.ā You gasp sharply, your fingers instinctively tugging on his hair, signaling for him to ease up. You wanted to come together for your first time, as cheesy as it may have been.
As he rises to his feet, your eyes meet, and contagious, goofy smiles spread across both of your faces. In this shared moment, a mutual understanding passes between youāacknowledging the absurdity of the situation yet reveling in the fact that there's nowhere else you'd rather be.
You watch as he wraps his hand around himself, dragging his hand up and down a few times. He whispers for you to scoot back until your head rests against the pillow, and with a gentle nod, you comply. He follows suit, settling on his haunches before you, creating a comforting, intimate space between you both.
āYāready?ā He asks in a hushed tone, leaning in to hover over you, and at that moment, a rush of memories floods your mind, reminiscent of yesterday by the lake. You're convinced you must look rather pathetic with the speed of your nod, but Sirius only responds with a sweet smile.
With a grip on his cock, he slides the tip through your slick, both of you sucking in a breath at the sensation. He gently pushes at your entrance. Sirius steals a glance up at you, silently seeking reassurance, and you respond with a simple nod and a warm smile, letting him know that everything is perfect. Sirius catches you off guard as he leans down, tenderly pressing the gentlest of kisses to your lips, a gesture filled with unexpected sweetness.
His gaze shifts, watching as he pushes his cock inside of you, letting out a string of curses as your pussy grips him tight, pulling him deeper inside.
āFuck,ā Gritting his teeth, he squeezes his eyes shut, breathing deeply through his nose, determined to regain control and prevent himself from losing composure. Heās sitting fully inside you, and he has to take a breather because you feel better than he could have ever imagined. The last thing he wants is for this to end as soon as it begins.
His voice sounds utterly shattered, āYouāre so wet, fuck.ā
You entwine your fingers in his hair, feeling the soft strands between your fingertips as you pull him closer, urging him to meet your lips with his own. The anticipation builds as his warm breath mingles with yours, creating an intimate connection before the gentle press of his lips against yours. Parting your lips, you deepen the kiss, and Sirius eagerly reciprocates.
āSirius. Fuck me, please.ā You exhale softly against his lips, and Sirius responds with a low, guttural groan of longing and desire.
He doesnāt waste any time before dragging his cock along the sensitive walls of your pussy, before thrusting back into you, āGod, your pussy feels incredible.ā The cry that escapes you resonates loudly in the room, and you're immensely grateful that everyone is out at Hogsmeade. The absence of others allows you the freedom to be as uninhibited as you are, knowing that the full dorms would never afford you the same level of privacy and volume.
āFeels so good.ā You gasp, head rolling to the side, your cheek resting against the pillows. Siriusā hands rest against the back of your thighs, holding your legs against your chest, giving a clear view of the way his cock is so seamlessly slipping inside of you.
He watches you, transfixed on the way your brows pinch together in pleasure, lips parting to let moans slip past. It's as if a dam has burst within Sirius, an unstoppable torrent of words and emotions pouring forth as he finds himself unable to contain everything he's been holding back.
āFuck, you sound sāpretty, sweet girl,ā The groan that leaves his lips is downright sinful. āThought about this pretty pussy all day. Pretended to be sick just to get off to the thought of you.ā
āSirius.ā You whine, reaching out to thread your fingers through his hair and pull him down to you. Youāre soaked and aching, desperate for Sirius to fuck you faster. However, much to your disappointment, he remains insistent on maintaining a slow, teasing pace.
āPictured, tugging that fucking bikini top down. Watching your tits bounce while I fuck you. Fuck, cumming all over them.ā The whine that escapes you feels pathetic, and under different circumstances, you would've been embarrassed by it. However, given the situation you're in, embarrassment takes a backseat.
āI know, baby. I know.ā He complies, adjusting his position so that his right arm supports him above you while his left hand gently traces your skin. Brushing over your nipples, trailing up and over your tits, before placing his hand loosely around the base of your throat.
āYouāre fucking perfect,ā He grunts, admiring how ruined you look for him. Your mascara smudged beneath your eyes from tears, and your lips swollen from his earlier kisses. He loved seeing you like this. Being the one to ruin you, to smudge your makeup and bring you to tears. āTaking my cock sāwell.ā
Youāre incoherent, begging for Sirius to go harder, to fuck you faster. Hands pawing at his ass, desperately trying to bring him closer.
His hand squeezes your throat gently, āTell me you want me to fuck you harder. Cāmon love, wanna hear you beg for it.ā
A smug grin tugs on Siriusā lips as he watches you struggling to form words. Youāre getting close if the way youāre squeezing him so tight and rolling your hips is any indicator.
But then a desperate, needy whine with the words he so badly wants to hear slips past your lips. Babbling about needing his cock and wanting him to ruin you. The second he hears your pleas, he thrusts into you harder, setting a brutal new pace that has you crying for him.
āIāll give you anything you ask for, mālove.ā He speaks so sincerely that you feel a surge of emotions welling up inside, an overwhelming urge threatening to bring tears to your eyes.
Overcome with your emotions, you reach for Siriusā hand and interlace them together before Sirius presses your clasped hands into the sheets. His headboard thumps against the wall rhythmically.Ā
āNeed you to fill me up. Please.ā You plead desperately, and Sirius curses, his voice rough and strained.
āShit, thatās my girl. Want me to fill you with my cum?ā It's the praise that pushes you over the edge. Your back arches, pressing your breasts into Siriusā chest and your legs tremble.
āDoing so good fāme.ā Heās close behind you. Your tight, wet walls clenching around him is what does it for him.
āFuck, baby. Gonna cum. Fuck.ā Sirius moans, burying his head in the crook of your neck as his hips stutter and you cry out at the feeling of his warm cum filling you up. You clench his hand tightly, your nails likely leaving imprints on his skin. A sob escapes your lips, and your fingers weave through his hair, a desperate attempt to draw him closer.
You both remain entwined, lost in each other's embrace as you gradually come down from the euphoric highs. The room resonates with the sound of your intertwined breaths, each one heavy and labored. Your body feels utterly slack, every muscle loosened, and you're so relaxed that you could easily doze off at any moment.Ā
Sirius presses a couple of tender kisses against your neck, eliciting a satisfied hum from you. When he withdraws from you, a wince escapes you as you feel the separation, and Siriusā eyes dart up to you in concern.
āYāokay, sweet girl?ā
āIām okay, just sore.ā You grace him with a sweet smile, and Sirius leans in, gently pressing a tender kiss to your forehead.
āGonna get a towel, one second.ā He assures you, rising from the bed and disappearing into the bathroom. You listen to the faucet running and the faint sounds of the cupboard opening and closing. Lying back, you gaze up at the ceiling, absently nibbling on your thumbnail until a smile breaks across your face at the thought of what just happened.
āHere, love.ā Sirius says, sitting on the edge of the bed holding a washcloth in his hand. Heās got a fresh pair of pajama pants on, you didnāt even notice him grab clothes from his trunk, too lost in your thoughts.
Sirius gently grips your ankle, encouraging you to spread your legs. His breath hitches at the sight of his cum dripping out of you and onto his sheets, desperately hoping to see this sight again. He murmurs a curse under his breath, his touch gentle as he delicately uses the warm washcloth to clean between your thighs.
āThere.ā He whispers softly before aiding you to sit up. As you glance over, you notice the t-shirt and pajama pants laid out beside him, meant for you. Your heart swells with warmth as he assists you in slipping it over your head. With a grateful smile, you slide into the pajama pants. Meanwhile, Sirius utters evanesco to fix the sheets up, before joining you in bed.
āCāmere.ā He beckons to you, sinking into the pillows, and you nestle against him, finding solace as you rest your head on his chest.
In the silence, you both relish the comfort of each other's embrace, enveloped in a cocoon of intimacy. Lost in contemplation, your mind wanders, grappling with what just happened and what that meant for the both of you.
"That wasn't just a one-time thing, was it?" You inquire, the hopefulness evident in your tone.
"No," Sirius responds, tilting your chin so you can meet his gaze. "I want you to be mine, for real this time."
The fluttering butterflies that dance through your stomach are overwhelming as you absorb his words. A lovesick grin spreads across your lips, unable to contain the rush of emotions coursing through you, āThen I'm all yours."
You settle back into Sirius, and his arms hold you against him. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest beneath your head lull you into a serene state, the sound of his steady heartbeat serving as a soothing lullaby that guides you into a peaceful sleep.
.Ā·ć.Ā·ćāĀ·.Ā·ā«Ā·ćĀ·ć.
"I'm sorry, so you asked us to fake it not for Lily, but for Sirius and I to get together?" You gaze at James, confused, knitting your brows, while he sits opposite you at the table. Remus and Sirius are absorbed in their own conversation, and Peter is having breakfast with the girl he harbors a crush on. Despite their current status as friends, Peter seems overjoyed nonetheless.
James grins, casting you a smug look. "I mean, Lily genuinely thought you and I were a thing. At first, it really was because Lily thought we were together, but then I realized that this was the perfect way to get you and Sirius together.ā
āJames! So you lied to us?ā You huff in disbelief.
James shrugs nonchalantly, his demeanor radiating an air of casual indifference, āYou already knew I lied to Lily; whatās the difference?ā
You sigh softly, "That's true, but what about you and Lily? Are you two getting together?"
James smiles, āWeāll get there eventually. This was more about you and Sirius. And before you start, yes, Iāll tell her the truth.ā He sends you a pointed look, and you chuckle, already preparing to remind him to come clean to Lily.
"You're certifiably insane." You tease, exhaling a laugh.Ā
āWell, it worked, didnāt it? You got the guy.ā James watches with delight as a lovesick smile effortlessly graces your face before you steal a glance at Sirius.
"Oh, hey. Pick up your clothes next time you're napping with Sirius," He remarks casually, but the emphasis on the word napping lets you know that he's fully aware there was more happening than just sleep. "My shoe got tangled in your bra."
Non non you know I can't pick just one/rank my beloveds like that. So I'll throw a few atcha that always come up for me, again and again. If you hang out with me a lot, they probably won't surprise you.
And to any creators I tag who have seen me rec these things over and over again. Hi let's get married.
Mmmmwah! Enjoy! <3
Quebecois by @we-are-swearwolves
Sirius/Logan (Sweater Weather by @lumosinlove), Sirius/Remus
34K words
The first two chapters are the bulk of the smut. Canon ships with consensual/ethical friends fucking, everyone loves each other, porn with GIANT feelings, heeling through sex, exhibitionism.
Scorch by @theresthesnitch
James/Lily/Other
11K words
Devil's threesome. So much consent and enthusiasm and dirty talk. Yes I know I LITERALLY just referenced this fic but I am never getting off Snitch's dick okay don't come for me. Or do heh.
collarbones like a bow, skin an arrow to the heart by @lqtraintracks
NB Gin/Pansy
4K words
"Are you packing, daddy?"
For Queen And Country by Quietlemonhush
Sirius/Remus, James/Regulus
***A/B/O***
6K words
This whole series is one of my all-time faves. Fucking hilarious and hot. There are podfics available too.
i've got diamonds in my eyes (for you) by @crushofdoves
Sirius/Remus
6K words
ALL THE FEELINGS trans joy hot hot hot they are in LOVE. Sirius is Gender. Remus is Besotted.
Keep Your Hands on Me by @tenthousandyearsx
Draco/Harry
21K words
This author and I currently have an adorable meet-cute miscommunication thing going on (hiii <3) so it's extra spicy for that reason alone. Read the tags. You'll know why I recc it :D.
Last but not least:
My own shit!!! :D If I am truly asked to pick my favorite smut ever, I'm going to pick my own stuff. It doesn't get more tailored to one's tastes than that! Don't hate the player hate the game idk.
Many many blessings to you, Non Non, for asking such an important question, for all of humanity, really. We are all indebted to you.
Warner Bros. Pictures Presents The World Premiere Of "Wonka"
LONDON, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 28: Timothee Chalamet attends the Warner Bros. Pictures world premiere of "Wonka" at The Royal Festival Hall on November 28, 2023 in London, England.
Heyy i saw your tiktok video on The Prankā¢ and I'm dying to know what your interpretation is on how it happened and how they made up, how it impacted them, you get the gist I just can't believe I haven't thought to ask before.
My HC/take/interpretation of The Prank, isnāt anything so special but I do think if I were to ever fully expand on it Iād make sure Sirius wasnāt so dogged down as he was over it. I think The Prank, despite it being canon, is sometimes very overdone and milked for itās worth just for the sake of dredging up angst over and over again.
Now, do I think itās important if youāre creating something within that āverse, yeah. I think itās a pivotal moment that shows some serious oversight on Siriusā part and lack of foresight. Sirius is notoriously tactile and quick witted, but I believe in his younger years he was quick to get a tad bit overexcited or enthused when it came to revenge and this was a prime example of that. He didnāt think about the consequence of his actions and had tunnel vision with the end goal of a, āaha!ā moment with Snape. Pure vengeance (good little Scorpio).
How I like to see it, is Remus, James and Pete were all shocked by this obviously but they didnāt spend weeks on weeks treating him like a piece of shit for it. I think the bounce back rate was quick, but the thick of the aftermath was hard. So Remus got angry fast but it was resolved quicker than most of the times Iāve seen it dragged out for. James wouldnāt ignore Sirius, it would just be strained for a few days while they worked through their own tension over Siriusā blatant stupidity and selfish motives. Pete much the same, though I suspect he would be armed with a few nasty quips here and there which James would chastise him for, even if he was slightly agreeable to them. Pete would try to keep away from Sirius and encourage Remus to do the same so they could both ācool offā, whereas James is a man of action and want things resolving instantly. Though he wouldnāt lack the sensitivity of being naive enough to know the mending wouldnāt happen like that, it wouldnāt be overnight, heās emotionally intelligent and a people person and would know when the line is about to be crossed.
Remus, I believe would be in disbelief for the first few minutes of hearing it, type of white noise blocking out everything that isnāt the information heās trying to compute. I think he would turn physical quick, or at least want to, but not towards Sirius. His violent streak is often downplayed, something that is canon (though I have no interest in keeping things parallel to that or drawing similarities, but this one is important for the topic) and bred through Remus feeling somewhat constantly restrained and bottled up. He has a lot to say, but sometimes doesnāt feel heās in the right space to say it, a confidence which he found in the comfort of his friendships with the Marauders and Lily. Despite his presence being a quiet, calm and reserved (albeit sarcastic) one, post Prank Remus was a ticking time bomb. Cutting corners, Sirius was fast becoming his world and the betrayal was like a jab to his gut, throat and balls all at once so that pressure valve was ready to burst.
The fallout wouldāve lasted in total, a couple of weeks, three at the absolute most. Remus would begin in denial and then lash out physically, the product of which wouldnāt have bothered him due to his existing scars. The headcanon behind Sirius sleeping in Remusā shirt is something I imagine as a segue in their relationship, the link between Moony = safe, Moonyās smell = safe, Moonyās clothes = smell, safe, secure. Home. Team that with Siriusā family issues, it ties in well that whilst they were still denying their feelings for each other outwardly, the ball was rolling in the symbolic trade of Sirius wanting to be dowsed in Remusā scent, only really ever feeling truly safe when he felt encompassed by him. So, cut to Sirius pulling the Prank and unwittingly simultaneously putting Remusā life in potential danger and landing him in Azkaban for murder, it was Remus who didnāt feel safe anymore. And Remus, when feeling unsafe, will lash out and retreat. He was so angry that he wanted to level out the playing field and strip Sirius of the safety he found in that shirt, something that was an unspoken token between the two of them and therefore, even more sacred. It wasnāt just a fickle give me my shirt back, it was acute enough that Sirius would feel it and understand the icy intention crystal clear.
That night Sirius walked down into the common room wearing it for the first time (the next day) after the Prank, it would be the first time any of them had heard Remusā full baritone yell. Soon as that man clocked Sirius, it was like pedal to the ground rage, instinct, you donāt belong in that anymore.
Hii sweetheart. Omg i saw your post about remus lupin on a motorcycle. OMG I THOUGHT ABOUT THE SAME THING TWO DAYS AGO and it makes me feral. But i was thinking like "no maybe people dont like the idea bc canon sirius is more of a motorcycle person, not remus." But tbh remus with one of those helmets on would make me wet oops i mean weak
sirius having a motorcycle is a given but remus? i feel like itād absolutely be a secret until he pulls up one day to get you or see you and heās on his bike. omfggggg him and sirius going riding together, imagine being on the back of his bike and he goes fast on purpose so you clutch onto him š i literally canāt get the image of remus with a helmet on out of my head, i believe heād keep it on to fuck 100%.
hi my love! just came here to say that iāve been rereading all your fics and they are so incredibly amazing!
love you and i hope youāre doing greatš«š
hi!!!!! youāre always my biggest supporter and ily for that š„¹ iām doing well, hopefully iāll get my writing mojo back soon. I MISS YOU!! ššš
i really wanna make something for my recently read books/fics and have something where yāall can leave your own recs for anything, is anyone interested in that š
