every little bit counts?
No longer choking on the hair of the dog It's been a couple weeks now since I came out of the fog The highs are slightly higher, the lows are just as low It's a mild improvement on the average, even so

shark vs the universe
hello vonnie

ellievsbear
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NASA
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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$LAYYYTER

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★
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@sinocentric-blog
every little bit counts?
No longer choking on the hair of the dog It's been a couple weeks now since I came out of the fog The highs are slightly higher, the lows are just as low It's a mild improvement on the average, even so
US Life Expectancy Declines Again
I edited this post because it was in retrospect way too negative...even if that’s sort of justified...I don’t think its a great communication style.
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-46389147 Put simply, we are now in a situation where the economy is growing at a fairly rapid rate, but the health of the average american is in decline. The chief causes of death responsible for the decline appear to be an increase in suicides and drug overdoses.This is very sad. It also speaks to a failure in the system. If the economy is doing well, then why are Americans not benefiting? Something is wrong. It seems that a small portion of the country is reaping the benefits while most are left to stagnate or decline. All countries have levels of inequality. But when a minority is doing well while a majority is not only stagnating but falling backwards...that changes the conversation a bit, I think. My unfortunate speculation is that the country is now too overburdened to increase well being for a majority of people. The economy is growing, yes, but so is our debt. It may be that the only way to see any substantial growth in your quality of life is to take it from someone else. A similar situation was seen in the “Dominate” era of the Roman Empire. During this time, the average persons health and wealth declined. That led to a significant fall in population as the death rate increased. Eventually, the empire itself was swept away.
Climate Change Divides the Democratic Party
Climate Change is a tough issue politically because it collides with other priorities. How do you propose to tackle the declining quality of life for people in the USA and fight climate change at the same time? It sounds simple, but it actually is a difficult problem. The classic way of increasing life satisfaction in the USA is to make the economy bigger to raise incomes for workers. This is directly related to increasing energy and electricity use, which are needed to grow the economy. However, this energy has typically has come from coal and other fossil fuels since the Industrial Revolution. The logical solution, then, is to replace the fossil fuel industry with renewable energy such as Solar and Wind. Unfortunately, it is not that simple. There are major companies with big money and employees who support the fossil fuel industry. In addition, the current deployment of Renewables is far, far short of what would be needed to power the US currently, much less expand the economy. The switch would be costly, take a long time, and would likely slow economic growth, especially in sectors like coal mining and oil extraction. Traditionally, democrats ignore the problem by paying lip service to climate change but then doing little to reign in the fossil fuel use. Climate change has had enough of us turning the cheek, though, and is ready to break our fuckin chin (Wu Tang, anyone...?). Choices will have to be made. You can already imagine some of the fault lines and divides...Ojeda, Sherrod Brown, Tester etc. on the side of “fuck it, we need jobs, drill the oil and mine the coal” vs Bernie and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez etc. on the side of “we need to make some sacrifies”. It’s a tough issue, and it will be a big divide in 2020. Personally, I think we need to make the sacrifice and abandon ship. What we’re doing now is about to hit an iceberg. Metaphorically, of course...there aren’t many of those around anymore.
Feelings to avoid
I often think about being younger these days. Part of it is the natural getting older and wanting simpler times. Part of it is probably how shitty society is today. Part of it though, is related to my back situation and how I miss being healthy in the past.
When I was younger, I remember having certain "numb" feelings that I always wanted to avoid. These included feeling lonely, alone, or insecure. I imagine that everyone wants to avoid these.
I believe that I was more sensitive to them than most people, however. When I was under stimulated or put in an uncomfortable situation, these feelings came quickly. Even a drive through post industrial northern Scranton, where my parents were from, could sometimes trigger them. I guess I could pick up on the sense of being passed by that the area has. I don't mean that in a disrespectful way, most of America is like that now, and it probably all will be soon.
Well, now the shoes on the other foot, as my back is fucked up and I'm being passed by. These feelings are now basically unavoidable. I used to get away from them through physical activities, "doing hood rat stuff with my friends", playing video games or listening to music. I suppose that I can still do the latter 2, and I do way to much. The hood rat stuff doesn't appeal to my older depressed self anymore, and I can't be physical the way I was. I've lost that part of myself, and I will never have it again. Feels bad, man.
GM Closes Factories, lays off workers in Midwest
I doubt many of you have tumblr’s, but hey, who knows...This is a song for you. It should be the fucking national anthem, I've said it a few times since 2006. The harsh reality is that it’s getting tougher to live in America for most people. Mcmurtry lays out the case better than I can...
Moment of Clarity - Life and Climate
Just saying those words...takes me back to 2004. Jay-z was on top of the world, Bush was president, I was 14. All my bad habits and I guess a few good ones have left me in this fucked up position.
Back then though, I still had some hopes. I couldn't see all my problems leading me to back issues, depression, alcohol and poor diet choices. Some of the hopes I realized...I feel deeply in love.
I kinda turned my life around for a while. Then back around again. There has been some beauty to it though, but with my physical condition, it's gonna be a hard road from here on out. It won't be as sexy or as cool as what came before. That's just reality.
I think about Climate Change. I read the report for about a half hour today...I'll read more. I know most of the facts though...sea level rise, threats to agriculture, extreme weather, societal destabilization. Most of us have heard the story I think, some of us deny, some ignore, some accept, some freak out. Generally, we don't change much as a result regardless.
There's some guilt present on my end. When I'm driving around, burning all these fuels, eating all this shitty food. I had some wings and pizza and beer, watching the steelers shit on themselves in Denver. I've been around long enough to see the steelers drop a few turds up there.
I know that all this that I do to stay alive, to survive...it is helping to take away from the next generation. To rob kids being born in 2018 of their future. Of their chances to fuck up, to feel regret, and every now and then...to win one. To fall in love. To pass that test they didn't study enough for. To make some new friends and tell depression to fuck off for a while. Replace those "normal" ups and downs with weather related trauma, with food shortages, economic problems, and war.
This makes me feel bad. Because my struggle to survive is almost pointless at this juncture. I don't see any happy endings or big wins coming my way anymore. Just trying to hold back the tide, really. My problems, like Climate Change, cannot be overcome with pure force of will. And yet my actions take away from a brighter future for some else.
Is there another way? Should I just say fuck it and destroy myself to remove my emissions from the world for someone else? Would it even make a difference? What about all the fuckin parents that vote for trump and buy SUV's and don't give a fuck about their own kids futures?
I don't have any answers really...just questions. I wish things were going differently.
I'm gonna eat less meat...exercise more...try to get things on a better track this week. Maybe that will help give me a couple more moments of clarity, and a chance to figure shit out.
New Climate Change Report
I haven’t read it yet...I’m gonna block some time off tomorrow to start sinking my teeth into it. I plan on commenting on it soon.
My Girl Left
The girl I was dating decided to move across this great wonderful perfect flawless nation of ours. We had been going out, on and off, for about a year and a half. She broke the news to me about a week ago. I’m feeling hurt and depressed since it went down, even more than usual. Been really quiet and withdrawn. People have for sure noticed. I usually do my best to play shit off and put up a front because I don’t want anyone to know that I’m vulnerable. This is one of the first times in my life I feel like I don’t even have the energy or care enough to do so. We had a difficult relationship overall. She often felt that I didn’t listen to her enough or spend enough time with her. I thought she was unnecessarily mean to me sometimes and I had trouble trusting her. I was also dealing with a lot of issues from my whole back situation that made it even harder between us. Still though, I’m really disappointed. She supported me and kept me going at times. It’s also just nice to have someone to just talk about your day with. I don’t know if I will be able to meet someone new soon, or ever, and it sucks.
My back is fucked up
I used to lift weights and be a very active guy. About two years ago my back started feeling off, but I didn’t think much of it. Until I had some issues, like, sexually, which has really been beat. So I got it checked out and have been going through the medical system ever since. Overall, my pain has gotten worse over time even though I have stopped lifting. I still am somewhat deficient sexually, and I’m definitely not as active as I used to be. It sucks being this way at 28...everyone expects me to still be strong and optimistic and adventurous and shit. I mean, I never quite fit that bill anyway, but this has made everything worse. I know I've changed, and mostly not for the better. I’m quieter, less confident, more distant. People notice...sometimes I feel like they’re mad at me or think I act weird now because I’m being a dick or something. That’s not it...I’ve just really lost a big part of myself, and I will never be the same. It’s tough to explain or talk about. Everyone has advice and acts nice and all but it’s not the same to really understand it. I don’t think most get it, or maybe they just don’t give a shit. I guess I can’t really blame them either way, but it certainly sucks for me.
Should probably call my friend back
I don’t really feel like going out tonight though. Also, who calls and doesn’t send a text, man, it’s 2018. I’ll eventually respond to a text, but I don’t always call back. That’s a lot to deal with, committing to a phone conversation...
Yes i’ve finally found a reason
I don’t need an excuse. got this time on my hands. you are the one to abuse