WARNING, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, MAFIA READER, MAFIA MEIAN, GUNS, MAFIA, BLOOD, VIOLENCE, TOXIC FAMILY, DEATH THREATS, IMPLIED ARRANGED MARRIAGE, ANGST ANGST ANGST. LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYTHING.
For @lovemeian
Thank you @saudade-mayari for being the beta reader <33
Death followed you everywhere.
It was an unfortunate side effect of being the heiress to a crime syndicate.
The L/ns are one of the best and most feared crime families in the world, with their nearly international reach and wires upon wires of connection.
You have built up your own connections to back you up as you grew older, ones ready to back you up whenever you need it.
Your footsteps echoed in the halls of the syndicateâs main headquarters, the building that you practically grew up in. To many, a life surrounded by guns and violence was terrifying and outright traumatizing. But to you, this was normal.
This was your life. This is how things have always been for you. You know this shouldnât be how things are, how you want things to be, but itâs how it is.
âYou are late.â
If it wasnât rude according to your upbringing, you would've rolled your eyes at your father already. You werenât late. In fact, you were on time. But to your father, anyone else that arrives after him is late.
âForgive me, Father. I had a meeting before this.â
You knew your father would see it as an excuse, but you just sat down in front of him, not minding his glare. You were more than used to his cold ways, for he has always been like that.
âI have a job for you,â Your father started, and you tilted your head in response. âI want the Meians eliminated. And I want to start with the son.â
Your family syndicate had gone international, but there was one continent they could never reach.
Asia.
Your family can never reach Asia, because the Meian Crime Family had gatekeeped the continent for themselves. A fact that infuriated your father since his succession as the head of your family at the age of 30, when you were just 5 years old.
âWhat is it that you want me to do, Father?â
âWe have received knowledge that the heir, Shuugo, is visiting Italy. I want you to seduce him and kill him.â
You looked at your father, waiting for him to take back his words, to take back the suggestion that you use your body for his own personal gain to end a rival mafia, but you knew that he wouldnât. When your father wants you to get something done, he expects it to be done.
It didnât matter if you had to sell your body for it.
Had your mother been alive, she wouldâve killed your father for even suggesting a thing. Alas, your mother had passed years ago from a job that had gone wrong.
All you could do is nod.
âYes, Father.â
*****
Meian Shuugo pursed his lips as he walked around the Meian Syndicate halls towards his motherâs office. He never liked his familyâs legacy. He wanted a peaceful life. A life away from the guns and the drugs and the violence.
The Meians arenât as bad as other syndicates, in the way that they are more peaceful, but still.
His childhood and the life he grew up with is not one he would wish on others. He wanted to run, far away from the halls that he called his home. He knew his mother didnât want this life either, but he was the only Meian heir. He could not afford to let the family legacy crumble.
âSon, are you sure about heading off to Italy for this vacation? You have never been overseas.â
Meian looked at his mother and nodded his head. He knew the dangers of him flying overseas with the minimal number of guards with him, but he wanted to.
âI am, Mom. Besides, Italy is neutral territory. Nothing should happen to me there.â
Reassurance is all that he can offer to his mother, along with the years and years of training that heâs had under her watchful eyes. He knew how terrified his mother was of losing him too, after she had lost his father years ago.
âJust be careful, okay? Italy may be neutral ground, but things can still happen.â His mother said, a worried frown causing a crease in her tired eyes. âThe L/ns are notorious for making things happen on neutral territory.â
âI know, mom. Iâll always watch my back.â
He wished that he didnât have to. He wished that he was normal, that his life was the same as everyone.
But it wasnât.
It wasnât the same, and any hopes for normalcy is not in his grasp.
No matter how much he wished or willed it to be.
*****
Italy is beautiful all year round. This you knew, but nothing beats the beauty of Milan during the fall season. You sipped on your coffee and continued to read your book.
You landed in Italy a week ago and had been spending the last few days trying to come up with a plan for the job you had been tasked to do.
Only that it was difficult, as you didnât know where in Italy did the Meian heir go to, nor did you know when. All the intel given to you was that he was going to be in Italy, and thus, youâre at a loss.
As you let the day pass by, you were startled when someone sat in front of you. You glanced at them and went back to your book, until it clicked on your mind just who exactly was in front of you.
The very man you have been tasked to seduce.
You raised your brow at him, but he just grinned cheekily..
âLovely weather we are having, no?â
You narrowed your eyes at him, wondering exactly why he approached you. It was impossible that he didnât know you.
Not to mention the fact that he is gorgeous with his sleeve tattoos and muscled arms, a chiseled jaw and a pair of enticing eyes.
âYou do know who youâre talking to, yes?â
He scoffed, but nodded. Of course he knew you. Your father had been trying to get into Japan for as long as he remembered, and it was his job to know all the heirs of the syndicates that posed a threat to his family.
The L/ns are on the top of that list.
âThen why are you speaking to me?â
âWhy not? Italy is neutral ground, is it not? Surely you wouldnât do anything.â
âWhat makes you so sure?â
You had expected his response to stay playful like he had been so far, but you stopped when his eyes went dim and hooded when he looked down on the coffee cup he was holding, as if a heavy rain cloud just manifested itself on top of his head.
âYou have the same look as I do.â
He looked back at you and you immediately understood what he meant.
The look of exhaustion, of acceptance.
The look that screamed for a freedom that is unachievable.
â...I see.â
Silence reigned between the two of you as you continued to stare at each other, waiting to see who was going to do the next move. Unable to stand the silence and the staring contest, you sighed and held your hand out.
âI should introduce myself properly then. Iâm L/n Y/n.â
Meian didnât even hesitate to take your hand and shake it.
âItâs nice to meet you. Iâm Meian Shuugo.â
*****
âHey, the Antiques Fair is coming up this sunday. Would you like to accompany me?â
You looked away from your phone and to Meian who was looking at you expectantly.
It has been nearly two months since then.
Everyday, it became a routine for you to meet Meian at the coffee shop and just talk about everything, ignoring the fact that youâre both syndicate heirs that are hanging on top of your heads.
You both avoided that topic entirely, choosing to enjoy the temporary peace that you felt for once in your life.
âAre you asking me out, Mr. Meian?â
This was the first time he asked you to go somewhere with him, and you couldnât help but feel slightly playful in your response. However, the smile on your face disappeared at the redness that appeared in the maleâs ears and the sincerity in his eyes.
âMeian. Tell me youâre not serious.â
âI am.â
âYou know we canât.â
âDo I look like I care?â
âMeianâŠâ
He reached over the table to hold your hand in his, keeping his eyes on the way his hands dwarfed yours.
âI know we shouldnât. I know I shouldnât. But⊠But Iâm starting to like you.â
You can hear your heart pounding in your ears, louder than the first time you heard a gun being fired in an enclosed space. You can feel and hear it pounding so loudly, you were afraid that Meian was going to hear it.
You shouldnât even debate whether you should say yes or not, for this was a way for you to finish your job.
And itâs not fair because you have grown attached. Attached to his soft smiles and the way he would hold his arm out like a gentleman to keep him from accidentally leaving you behind when youâre walking around. Attached to the deep, rumbling laughs when he saw something funny or when you did something amusing.
You are hesitating, because you have started to like him too.
You know you have, because you found yourself looking forward to seeing him again the next day after the end of every day. You know because you found yourself looking a little more at him, your hands lingering by his arm a little longer.
You have grown attached and have begun to like Meian Shuugo, and itâs making you hesitate on whether or not you should continue the job, regardless of what your father wanted.
You could feel your hand shaking in his hold, and Meian waited patiently for your answer. He knew that youâre struggling to form one, unable to choose between your loyalty to your family and your syndicate, and your budding feelings for him.
He didnât have that big of a struggle, for he knew that his mother would back his decision up any day, even if it is with you.
You looked at him with a shaky smile before nodding, ignoring the way your mind had been whispering that this was a bad idea.
Because you knew that it was a bad idea, and that this can go downhill faster than you can say hello to a stranger in the street.
And yet you couldnât stop yourself from letting it happen.
You just hoped that it doesnât go in the worst route possible.
*****
The Antiques Fair is held every last Sunday of the month, where citizens of Milan get to showcase and sell various antiques that they had kept all throughout the years. Meian found beauty in it, and from the way your eyes sparkled as you looked at one antique to the next, you did too.
You were adorable in his eyes, the way you bargained for a few items in broken Italian, yet somehow still managing to get your way.
âMeian, look! I found this gorgeous necklace!â
âI thought I invited you here? How come youâre the one going from one stand to the next?â
You pouted at him, and he had the sudden urge to kiss you stupid. Really, he wanted to, but he knew that itâll push you away. So he settled with holding your hand and tugged you to him.
âCome on, Principessa. Letâs continue walking around.â
He never said anything about the blush on your cheeks as you continued to walk around.
Something caught his eyes, and he let you wander off for a bit to check it out.
A group of four rings, all with matching amethyst stones. Itâs antique, with the silver bands looking a little worn, but still strong enough to be worn for fifteen years at the least. One of the rings is large enough for his own finger, and another one, he knew would fit you well. But the final two are identical tiny ones, and he knew they wouldnât even fit his pinky.
âThe smallest ones are meant for children,â The stall owner said, his english heavily accented. âThe rings are meant for a family.â
âWhy are you selling them then?â Meian asked as he gently cradled the rings in his palm.
âMy wife has passed, and our children have grown too old for such sentimental things. I think itâs time that they find a family that will appreciate them.â
Meian looked at the rings and back at you that was still distracted by the little trinket that caught your eyes. Before he could even think more about it, he was already reaching for his wallet.
âHow much for the rings?â
*****
Every week, Meian would take you on little dates, ranging from something simple as hopping from one dessert place to the next, or something as complicated as an opera performance with an added dinner at the end of the night.
Every week, you had begun to fall deeper.
Itâs been six months since the tryst began, and you have been ignoring your father who had been asking for updates by the second month.
You were too afraid to answer his calls, not wanting to burst your bubble of peace just yet. He couldnât send anyone to you either, not without making anything suspicious to the other syndicates that were wandering about the neutral territory that was Italy.
Your teeth chattered slightly as the cold January air hit you when you walked outside the apartment you had decided to rent for the course of your stay in Italy.
Six months have passed, and you found yourself stuck in the middle of two choices with no way out. Your syndicate was your family, the one thing you have been conditioned to be loyal to. But MeianâŠ
Meian was starting to become your home.
So what do you do? Should you let Meian go and suffer the wrath of your father? Or do you kill him and start a war between your two syndicates and appease your father?
"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"
You didn't even jump at his voice, more than used to Meian popping up out of nowhere. You looked at him with a smile, ignoring the incessant buzzing of your phone in your bag.
"Nothing much, just⊠a few things."
"Care to tell me what they are?"
"And destroy the mood? No thank you."
Meian tilted his head to the right, dark eyes observing you in curiosity. You know that he understood the implications behind your words, more than used to having to read between the lines. It hurt him that you chose to keep that train of thought to yourself, but he understood.
Which was why he lent an arm out to you instead.
"Alright then. Shall we go? Before we miss dinner reservations?"
You nodded your head and let him lead you to the upscale restaurant, chatting softly about anything he could think of. His voice left you distracted, mind blanking with anything but the presence of the man beside you.
Meian had that effect on you, and the longer you spent time with him, the easier it was to forget everything else.
As the night progressed and the wine that you two had consumed during dinner began to take effect slightly, you found yourself watching the way Meian would cross his arms and flex them, and the way he would smirk when he saw the rosy tint that dusted your cheeks.
You rolled your eyes at him, not wanting to show more of the fact that he has affected you in a way you never thought he would. This was not what you had signed up for when you agreed to go on a date with him.
You had not signed up for deeper attractions, ones that you know could not be intertwined with your lives. It will cause problems, and cause a whole ânother mess that you do not wish to deal with. But with Meian, it was entirely too easy to ignore the possibilities of complications that can arise with such a matter.
He walked you back to your apartment, and you fiddled with your fingers as you stood in front of him.
Meian waited for you to say something. He knew that you had something on your mind, something you want to say, so he stood still, waiting patiently.
âMeianâŠâ you started to say, before you shook your head and leaned in to kiss his cheek. âI really enjoyed tonight. Good night,â you continued and before he could respond, the door had been closed in his face.
You knew that the sudden change in your demeanor had confused him. You had always spoken you mind around him with no hesitation unless you didnât want to ruin the mood.
He stared at the door in confusion. You had never hesitated around him, yet you did. Just how heavy was the weight of your thoughts and what made you hesitate?
As you leaned on the door, listening for him to leave, you can only sigh. Of course the weight off your thoughts were heavy. How can they not be?
Especially since your thoughts were about the fact that you had fallen in love with the very man that you were supposed to kill.
*****
Your mind was a mess, and you knew it.
You were stuck in the middle. Your father had just called you, demanding that you do your job and kill Meian. But you couldnât. You couldnât.
You cannot kill the man you love.
You grabbed your hair and tugged on it. You knew that you were losing it somehow. Stuck betweeen wanting to do your duty as the heir and your fatherâs daughter, and choosing Meian and yourself.
You knew you were panicking, lost and confused. So much so that you didnât hear someone sneaking into your apartment, not until you felt a pair of hands on your own. You looked up and found Meianâs eyes looking down at you in worry and understanding.
âMeian?â
âDeep breaths, sweetheart. Follow my breathing.â
You followed as he said, letting yourself be guided into a state of tranquility. Neither of you had any idea as to how long it took. All you both knew that the moment you relaxed, you collapsed into Meianâs arms with a sob.
You didnât want to think of why he was even in your apartment, just simply content and thankful that he is. You knew that he deserved an explanation, however.
âPapa called me-â
âYou donât have to say anything.â
âI want to, Shuugo.â
The use of his given name was enough to shut him up and listen to you. He didnât want to hear what you were going to say. Or rather, he didnât want to confirm his suspicions. But he let you talk, knowing that you needed to tell him fo your own peace of mind.
âPapa called me into his office nearly 8 months ago. He gave me a mission. He received information that the Meian Heir was going to be in Italy. He sent me here to seduce youâŠ.and kill you.â
Meian sighed. His suspicions have been confirmed, yet he couldnât blame you.
He wouldâve killed you in cold blood too, if he was given the task. But he was confused as to why you havenât done it yet. He didnât need to ask, for you answered his question before he could even voice it.
âI canât kill you. Shuugo. Not when I have fallen in love with you.â
Meian spoke up before you could even finish your sentence.
âRun away with me.â
Meianâs heart thudded in his chest as he waited for your reply. It was sudden, it was shocking, but both of you knew that you both had been thinking the same sentiment.
You both have entertained the idea of running away, of being far from your responsibilities and living a life of anonymity, a life with no guns and drugs and drama and death.
Meian was more than happy to run away. He knew that his mother would support his decision, for it was something she wished to do herself, something she wouldâve done if not for the love and loyalty she felt for her husband and Meianâs father.
Now, the only choice left is up to you.
Would you risk it? Risk your fatherâs wrath? Risk being hunted down like a game by your fatherâs henchmen? Would you risk it all for Meian Shuugo, the man you love?
You looked at Meian who was still waiting for your answer, and thought back to all the time you spent with him. All the joy, the laughter, the freedom.
And how he calmed you down just now.
âIâll run away with you.â
Yes. Yes, you would risk it all.
All for Meian Shuugo.
*****
Six years of bliss. Six years of bliss and peace have passed, that both you and your lover had almost forgotten the fact that you were the heirs to the two most dangerous mafias in the world.
Almost.
You glanced at your phone, waiting.
Your father has stopped contacting you about Meian within two years of your escape, yet you still hope and wonder that he would contact you, ask you to come home and accept the fact that you have fallen in love with the enemy.
But you knew differently. Deep in your heart, you knew differently. Your father is a mean man, and you knew that his silence only meant planning. Planning for what, you didnât know exactly.
All you know is that it is leaving a bad taste on the back of your throat.
âMama!â
Your head snapped up and looked at the little girl running towards you, a doll that suspiciously looked like you in her hand while her brother followed behind her sedately.
âWhat is it, Akari?â You said as you kneeled down to be on the same level as your daughter.
âPapa got me a doll!â Akari said excitedly, waving the doll around. You smiled and patted your daughterâs head while you smiled at your son, Kane, who was holding his own toy from their father.
After you ran away, you and Meianâs first stop had been a chapel in Italy for a quick wedding. Two years later, you and Meian had been blessed with the arrival of your two little angels, Meian Kane and Meian Akari.
Your twins, now at four years old, looked remarkably like their father, with your hair and eye colours. They were little blessings in your life, along with their father and your husband.
âThat toy is cute, baby. Whereâs your papa?â You asked, and both children pointed at the little cottage house youâve been staying in for the past year. âCome on then. Letâs go back inside, hmm?â
As you led the twins back inside, you canât help but feel as if someone was watching you, or the feeling of impending doom washing over you.
*****
You crumpled the paper in your hand in devastation and anger.
You had just gotten home from a short grocery trip when you found that the door had been left wide open. It wouldnât have alarmed you if not for the fact that neither you or Meian leave the door open. Kane and Akari had the habit of wandering out in the area without any supervision.
Your heart dropped as soon as you walked past the door.
The place had been ransacked. Tables and couches overturned, the chairs on their sides, cords unplugged, drawers pulled open, pillows and mattresses slashed, and papers everywhere. But those didnât worry you as much as the drops of blood that you found did.
You walked around, desperately trying to find clues that would let you know that your husband and children are okay when you found the note on the masterâs bedroom, neatly placed on top of the destroyed mattress.
"You want your family back? You know where to go.- L/n F/n"
You let out an angry sigh after you dropped the crumpled paper.
You know exactly where to go, and you can only hope that they were safe.
*****
The building you once called home was suspiciously empty. It was once bustling with life, with members and henchmen that wouldnât even dare to look at you in fear of your fatherâs wrath. But now, it was empathy, desolate.
You took each step slowly and confidently, eyes straight ahead, despite your anxiety going haywire.
It was unnerving, and your senses heightened as you gripped the guns in your hands tighter. The knives strapped around your thighs and the blade on your back dug into your skin with every step you took to where it all began.
The door to the basement gymnasium, where your father had begun your training, was wide open.
An invitation meant only for you.
You took a step in and immediately found Meian in the centre of the room. His face was swollen and bruised, with blood still dripping down his face. His shirt was off, showing the various cuts and punches inflicted on his skin. He was nearly unrecognisable if not for the fact that you know your husband well, and can pick him out in the dark, in the middle of a dense crowd, even blindfolded.
You ran towards him, cupping his still bleeding face softly.
âShuugo? Honey?â
Meian groaned slightly, but stayed unconscious, his head hanging low.
âWell. If it isnât the prodigal daughter.â
â...Father.â
You didnât need to look back to know who it was. Even after six years of not seeing him, your fatherâs voice still haunts you in your dreams. You turned around and faced your father, a fake smile on your face.
âIâm no prodigal daughter, father. Prodigal suggests that I have come home on my own volition and regret.â You said, the fake smile on your face disappearing and being replaced by a stone cold look. âI was forced to return here, for you have taken my husband and children from me.â
âHusband. Ha!â Your father scoffed out, a sneer on his face. âYou call that man your husband. The Hirugami heir wouldâve been a better fit for you.â
Your nose scrunched in disgust. While you had no problems with Hirugami Fukuro, you cannot see yourself with anyone but your husband.
âI hold no emotional connection to Hirugami Fukuro, father.â
âYou wouldâve, if you hadn't run away. Your union with him wouldâve been a great boost for the syndicate.â He said offhandedly, and it was then that it had sunken in, the fact that you are nothing to your father. You never have been anything to him aside from the means to elevate the syndicate and itâs reach.
âDid you ever even see me as your daughter? Your only child?â you asked in disbelief.
And your father?
He laughed. He laughed as if you had spoken the funniest joke in existence.
"Not at all. You're my child, yes. But you are of no use to me, for you are weak. And weaklings...well."
You gripped the gun in your hands tightly. You couldn't break. Not now, when your husband is injured and your children are nowhere to be found.
Not now, when your family needs you the most.
You took a deep breath and looked at your father.
"What do you want, Father? Why couldn't you just leave me alone? My family alone?"
"Family? That man is not your family." He said, pointing his own gun at your still unconscious husband. "The syndicate was your family. Yet you abandoned us for something as silly as love. With a Meian nonetheless!"
You gritted your teeth in irritation, and before you knew it, you had fired the first shot.
Your father, while getting old in number, was no slouch. He had always kept up with his own training, and was able to dodge the bullet. He fired his own shot back at you, which you dodged and moved closer to him.
Your father may be better than you with guns, your skill with blades and knives as well as hand to hand combat was unmatched in the syndicate.
You let him continue to shoot in your direction while you dodged and used every opportunity to get closer and closer to his position.
As soon as you got close enough to him, you pulled the long blade from your back, the one you had forged with your teacher as soon as you passed his training. The shootout turned into a clashing of blades, and you can almost see a bit of sparks flying off with every metal colliding.
"How could you betray our family, our legacy like this?" Your father spat out, his eyes, one that you got from him, were blazing in anger.
And just like his eyes, the anger was mirrored in yours. Within moments, you overpowered him and pushed him to the floor, the tip of your blade directly on his throat.
"How could I? How could you choose the syndicate over your real family? Your own daughter?"
Before he could answer, in walked a man you haven't seen in years, a man you trusted with your life, holding your twins at gunpoint.
"...Nobu?" You asked in disbelief and shock, your grip on your blade loosening, allowing your father to push you on your back and kick your blade far away from you.
You didn't care much, for your eyes are still on one Aone Takanobu; the man you had considered your best friend, the gentle giant you adored your whole life, was holding your kids hostage.
Aone was your closest friend. And yet here he is, coldly and blankly looking at you, his gun pointed at your children's head.
The very gun you gifted him on his 18th birthday.
"Hmm. Cute kids. Too bad their half...Meian." Your father said as he grabbed Akari by the chin to look at her before looking back at you with a sinister smile that made your heart drop.
Your fears grew as his smile grew, and it didn't take you long to know why.
"Choose, my dear daughter. Kill your husband and finish your mission, or your children will die by my hand."
Your blood ran cold as your eyes widened to your father's words.
âAbsolutely not, Father.â You spat out as you slowly stood up.
âYou have to, dear daughter. You have half an hour to choose. If you donât, your children will die.â
You looked at Aone, desperately begging him through your eyes to save your children, but his brown eyes just looked at you in betrayal, as if you were a traitor. In his eyes, perhaps you are, for you chose Meian over your years of friendship with him, and your own family.
If anything, heâd be more than happy to rid the world of your children, the children he sees as abominations.
Before you knew it, they left with your children, leaving you locked in with your battered husband. You made your way to Meian and untied him, laying him down gently on the ground.
âShuugo. Shuugo please wake up.â You begged as you tried to get your husband to return to consciousness.
âIâm awake, Y/n.â Meian said, his voice gravelly and hoarse from screaming in pain.
âSo you knowâŠ?â
âI do.â
You looked at your husband before you began to sob, feeling just as lost, if not worse as 6 years ago. What were you supposed to do? Your father, the very man that raised you, is making you choose once again.
This time, between the man you love and the very children that you birthed.
You began to sob harder. What were you supposed to do? You couldnât kill your husband years ago. Today is no different.
But you couldnât let your father and friend kill your children, your little angels either.
So what are you supposed to do now?
â...Kill me, Y/n.â
Your tears froze as you looked up at your husband, desperately wishing that you misheard him. But the rueful smile on his face said otherwise.
âShuugoâŠâ
âProtect our children, Y/n. They are the heirs to two of the most dangerous syndicates in the world. Choose them.â Meian said. âKill me and save them.â
You sat by Meian, arguing and thinking of a plan, any plan, that would end with no more bloodshed, at least not from your side. But you are coming up blank, and time is ticking. Before you knew it, your father walked back in, a smug smile on his face.
âWhat is your decision, Y/n?â
â...father...please. Why are you doing this?â
Your father laughed coldly.
âJust for the fun of it. Now, choose.â
You placed your free hand over your mouth to keep your sobs in as you lifted your gun up and pointed it at your husband;s chest, tears falling freely down your face.
âI love you so much, Shuugo.â
âI love you just as much, Y/n. You and the kids. Take care of them for me.â
