padfoot;

sirius black. xxii. auror. hell is empty

[siriusxrion]

maraudingstag:

Before all this, there had never been a time, even in the dead of night, when James felt uneasy walking along Diagon Alley. But now, with the sun setting in the distance and the hushed whispers up and down the street, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being watched. Then again, with the chip, that probably wasn’t too far from the truth. Still, if he let that hold him down, he wouldn’t get anywhere, so he defiantly strode down the street, a skip in his step, his head held high.

Unfortunately, given that most of his focus was on casting smiles at anyone he happened to pass by, he wasn’t looking directly in front of him as he rounded the corner, running straight into something. A very person shaped something. Cursing under his breath, he staggered back and then offered an apologetic grin. “Sorry about that, you alright?”

Sirius Black never cowered, that much was plainly obvious to anyone who had so much as looked at him. He always walked with his head firmly aloft, posture a peculiar mixture of relaxed and combattive, always looking perfectly put-together, but with that special brand of Gryffindor swagger that let anyone within a mile know that he wasn’t afraid to put up a fight if need be. Now was no exception, even despite the sense of entrapment that loomed over him, over everything he knew.

He wasn’t paying much attention, confident that the crowds around him would part like the Red Sea, and it was only when he collided with a painfully solid object that Sirius realised that he’d been so caught up in his own thoughts. He was about to unleash a tirade of abuse at whoever it was that had been inconsiderate enough to disrupt him, but when he saw the figure he’d collided with all trace of irritation vanished instantly.

“Watch where you’re going, you clumsy git.”

[siriusxrion]

uncommonlily:

“Sirius Black blushing?” Lily teased. “No, we’d better let everyone know that Lily Evans made the great Sirius Black blush.” She bumped his shoulder with her own, laughing as she did so. “Who would’ve ever seen this coming?”

She grinned in amusement when Sirius downed the rest of his drink, quirking an eyebrow at the action. “Careful, there. I’m not going to have to accompany you home after this, am I?” she asked jokingly. “Though I suppose you could always crash at my flat if you needed to. I don’t think James would mind terribly if you did.” 

She thanked the bartender as well when he handed the two of them their drinks. Grinning at his expression, she replied, “Cheers.” She brought her glass to his and they clinked together, before pulling her own back and taking a sip of the firewhisky. “So, tell me, is this where you’ve been hiding out these days? I feel like I haven’t seen you around in a while.”

Her peal of laughter elicited a wider smile and gruff chuckle from him, and Sirius nudged her back, feeling more at ease than he had in a while. “Joke’s on you, there, Evans. No one’d ever believe you.”

His only response to her next comment was a raised eyebrow, managing in that one gesture to convey both his incredulity and disappointment at the fact that she would doubt his alcoholic prowess. “Unlike some people,” he retorted, throwing her a pointed look, “I can hold my drink.” That much was true, at least - dozens of drinking competitions in which he’d emerged victorious and, miraculously, still standing were testament to that. “And Prongs obviously wouldn’t mind, he bloody loves me.”

He made sure to savour the first sip of the fresh glass as much as he could, even though by the eighth (ninth?) glass the taste had already begun to lose its edge, and answered Lily’s question with a shrug. “If you want to call it ‘hiding’, then yes.”

[siriusxrion]

pandoralyons:

Pandora picked up the coins and counted them out quickly before dropping them into the box they kept under the counter. She locked it, already running through the closing steps in her mind. Clean the tables, put up the chairs, sweep the floor, put out the fire and candles, close the curtains, lock the doors. Distracted for a second, Pandora forgot the question she had asked, and looked at him in confusion for a second before her expression cleared.

“You sure? Most people who are here so late have something going on, and this is a no judgement zone.” She held her hand to her heart. “Honest. I just like the company.” This was true, though her hand stayed close to the pocket where she kept her wand. Not always a smart idea to let a strange man be there when no one else but her was, but it was less scary to her than being there alone. She’d rather know if someone was coming after her than be surprised.

The prospect of baring his soul to anyone, let alone someone he hardly knew, set Sirius’ teeth on edge. It was the dog in him, he supposed, the untameable wildness that caused his hackles to raise every time he was approached by someone he couldn’t fully trust yet. No, there was a very short, succinct list of people with whom he felt comfortable enough to truly express how he felt, only a few people who were privileged (or unfortunate, perhaps) enough to bear witness to the swirling miasma of emotions that he kept pent up inside his head and heart.

He shrugged again, face the picture of impassive calm, and anyone who didn’t know him well would have been easily fooled by how collected he appeared to notice the guilt and trepidation buried underneath. That was how he preferred living his life; sheltered by a facade that was so carefully constructed it was in almost no danger of crumbling. “Couldn’t sleep. If you were looking for a more interesting or emotional reason than that, sorry to disappoint,” he intoned casually, fighting the temptation to laugh at the blatancy of his lie, the lie he knew she couldn’t detect. “Company, though, is entirely within my capabilities.”

[siriusxrion]

pandoralyons:

Pandora paused in the middle of picking up the glass to take back to the counter and clean. She looked at the expression on his face and she softened a little, nodding. “Yeah, sure.” She went behind the counter and pulled the bottle down and placed it on the counter. “Fifteen sickles.”

Everyone was down these days, even if they tried not to show it. They had been for a while now, and it was only getting worse as the trackers were planted. But someone asking for an entire  bottle of Firewhisky at three in the morning was still a little depressing. She smiled at him, feeling bad for being somewhat rude, and never good at minding her own business, she asked: “You doing okay?”

Reaching into his pocket, Sirius fished out the loose change and placed the coins on the bar, sliding them over in her direction. “Cheers,” he nodded gratefully, pulling the bottle towards himself, feeling tempted to open it right where he stood, but knowing that it was probably better to retreat to the comfort of his flat first.

Her question made his forehead crease briefly in confusion, bemused as to why someone would even bother asking. Most people steered clear of people who stayed late in bars, fearful either of their drunkenness or of their foul mood, and it was an unspoken arrangement that suited Sirius very well. Expression returning to its habitual relaxed inscrutability, he lifted his shoulders in a nonchalant shrug. “Perfectly wonderfully, thanks.”

[siriusxrion]

macdonaldxmary:

What a truly heartbreaking feeling it was, to know you will never belong anywhere. Mary had been punished for being a witch born in a non-magical family, or at least that’s what he had told her when he attacked her in her 5th year. And she had tried to put everything behind, to be strong and brave. Now she was being tracked and feared and shunned by muggles, the people she once thought she was a part of, by the people she endured so much for. 

Was this ever going to stop? Mary was a child of both worlds, and both worlds hated her. She would give anything to not care, but it seemed her heart and mind could not be stopped. Diagon Alley had never felt safe, not when she was young, not during those dark times, certainly not now. But it always felt familiar. And Mary found herself walking into one of the pubs, her eyes scanning the room, and for a brief moment, panic. 

Instead of running away Mary made her way to the bar, spotting a familiar set of shoulders. “I know” she said signaling the bartender, “now you are just going to have to drink alone with me by your side” she flashed him a small smile. “I thought I saw someone back there” Mary shook her head, “figured bothering you would better than running…”

If it had been anyone other than a Gryffindor who’d interrupted his moment of reflective solitude (wallowing, really, but he wasn’t going to admit that to anyone), Sirius would most likely have moved to another seat, or made one of the many acerbic remarks he had stored up in his arsenal. As it stood, he was happy to let the intrusion slide; the loyalty he felt towards his fellow lions was too strong to be anything other than unfailingly faithful to them, no matter what.

He suspected that he and Mary MacDonald were similar in many respects - both black sheep, of a sort, both made to feel like they didn’t quite belong. But she had suffered in ways he could never imagine, as had so many of the other Muggleborns who were unfortunate enough to come to Hogwarts at a time of such rising hatred. Even to this day, the thought made him feel sick.

So even though he would have preferred to carry on drinking alone, not wanting to inflict his morose mood on anyone, he glanced up at Mary with warmth in his gaze, knowing that making her feel a little safer was more important than his problems. “I can do that. And if you’re lucky,” he added, smiling that smile that creased the corners of his eyes, “I might even throw in a little scintillating conversation.”

[siriusxrion]

uncommonlily:

Lily already felt better being around Sirius. It wasn’t like she didn’t see him often–his best friend was her roommate after all–but still, it was good to see him. But if someone had told her when they were in fifth year that one day she’d look forward to seeing him, she probably would’ve laughed right in their face. 

“It definitely could be worse,” she assured him, settling into the seat beside him as he didn’t seem to mind her company. She had been a bit skeptical at first, as he had seemed content just sitting by himself, yet how often did she actually let him slide when it came to things like that? She laughed when he teased her. “Yeah, you’re not so bad yourself,” she told him. 

She sighed. “Sure, why not? I could go for a drink. I think most of the world could at this point, too.”

It was funny, how things changed. They’d never been that close at school, really, friendly enough and loyal enough to make it obvious that they belonged to the same House, but Lily had always been slightly wary of the Marauders. (Sirius suspected she’d been secretly amused by them, but didn’t think she’d ever let on.) Now, though, her mere presence was enough to quiet the tumult in his head.

“That’s quite a compliment, Evans,” he responded, a slow, easy smile beginning to unfurl across his lips. “Careful, I might blush, and then people’d get the wrong idea.”

Sirius nodded mutely at her comment, and flagged down the bartender. “A firewhisky for my lovely friend here,” he said, and, after thinking about it for a moment longer, knocked back the rest of his drink, and added, “And another for me. Double.” Taking the two glasses from the bartender with a nod of thanks, he slid one across to Lily, raising his own into the air with an expression that was half-sarcastic, half-amused. “Cheers.”

[siriusxrion]

pandoralyons:

Pandora sighed as the patrons began to filter out of the Leaky Cauldron, leaving it mostly empty, except for one seat in the corner. She waited a minute, then began to pointedly clean the glasses and stack them loudly under the counter. No reaction. At last she hung up her apron and approached the man. She raised her eyebrows after he spoke and crossed her arms. “That’s wonderful. You’re drinking very alone right now, though, because we’re closing.”

She didn’t like sounding so snappish, but she wanted to get home. She was paranoid, like the man from that old Muggle book The Picture of Dorian Gray, that any time she wasn’t home was when someone could find all the books she had hidden away.

He flicked his gaze up at her words, grey eyes surveying the pub in front of him. It was, indeed, empty. If he was surprised he didn’t show it, and whatever was smouldering in his inscrutable expression looked more like residual boredom. He wasn’t nearly drunk enough yet, even though it was already late; it turned out that an abnormally high alcohol tolerance wasn’t very conducive to drowning sorrows.

He tapped out half a bar of Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake on the tabletop and rose slowly to his feet, downing the last of his drink as he went. “Sorry about that,” he intoned, still finding it in himself to be at least a little charming. With a little nod of farewell, Sirius began to make his way towards the door, when...

“Actually, can I have a bottle of that to go?” he asked, turning smoothly on his heel and indicating the empty glass. He may not have been drunk yet, but there were still a few hours left until daybreak.

[siriusxrion]

uncommonlily:

Lily had entered the pub looking for a warm place to bunker down for a little while. Or at least until her fingertips stopped feeling like they were about to fall off. She pushed the strap of her bag further up on her shoulder and crossed her arms over her chest, trying to get warm. 

She looked around for a familiar face. Lily didn’t normally like to be alone in pubs, though she knew she could take on any threat that came her way, but she especially didn’t like it now with everything that was going on. She stood by the door for a few moments before she noticed someone drinking alone at the bar. And she would know that hair anywhere. 

She headed over and pulled out a stool beside Sirius, preparing to greet him when he spoke. She rolled her eyes at his remark, still sitting down. “Well, that’s too bad, because now you’ve got company,” she grinned at him. “Sorry to interrupt your hot date with your firewhisky.”

At the sound of the comfortingly familiar voice, Sirius felt the tension in his shoulders melt away somewhat, and when he looked up there was a trace of the familiar spark in his silver eyes, and crinkles at the corners of his eyes when he smiled, albeit softly, by way of a greeting.

“Could be worse, I s’pose,” he mused, idly tracing the rim of his glass with his index finger, watching the way the light winked and fractured in the cut crystal. “At least you’re moderately interesting.” A tease, of course, despite the superficial seriousness in his voice. He was glad of her company, glad that she’d decided to at least try to pull him out of his self-imposed solitude. Whether he’d let her or not was another matter, but the gesture warmed him.

“D’you want a drink, Lils?”

[siriusxrion]

glorykill:

Of course he would be here. Just her luck, of course, that the one man guaranteed to take away the little numbness Ogden’s Old afforded her—the one who always, always got under her skin—sought refuge in the same little watering hole.

Fate, Alice mused, had been too kind to her as of late. Time for it to start collecting its dues.

“Who would want to drink with you? You think far too highly of yourself.”

He should have known it would be Alice who he would bump into, of all people. He’d have laughed at James, were his best friend in the same position, but as things stood it was just boring.

Sirius could have done the gentlemanly thing in that moment and brushed her off gently, but he was tired and harbouring a little more self-loathing than he was entirely comfortable with, so he turned to her, all sparks and fire and flashed her the least sincere smile he was capable of.

“You’re the one who approached me, Fortescue, so I think my self-assessment’s just about right, don’t you?”

[nymheria]

[siriusxrion]

headcanon #1 - relationships.

Whilst Sirius identifies as heterosexual, he is also aromantic. Love has never been something that interests him, and whilst most of his peers pursue relationships based on love Sirius has very little time for that. If he does feel attraction, it is sexual rather than romantic, and this is part of the reason why he’s never entered into a long-term relationship. He’s had many a woman in his bed, on his arm, but his flings never go beyond the sound of hot, quick breaths in the dark and the warm touch of skin to skin, because romantic love is something that he just doesn’t feel, has never been able to experience, and he doesn’t miss it one bit. Former flames have told him he’s broken, that there’s a hole in his heart, a chasm that swallows up everything that’s light and pure and crushes it into nothingness. Sirius doesn’t have time for their judgemental bullshit, knows he might be different but doesn’t give two fucks about it.

He feels platonic love extremely strongly, though, part of the reason why he formed such powerful attachments to the Marauders (and why it was perhaps he who felt the greatest betrayal when Peter abandoned their quartet) - to him, friendship, real friendship, is forever, and if he lost the two remaining best friends that he has, there’s no telling what that would do to an already fracturing state of mind.

[siriusxrion]

There was a static energy crackling in the air around Diagon Alley, the sense that one wrong move would set the whole sky ablaze, that there was something coming, something dark and unimaginably cruel. They’d all felt like this before, once. And Sirius had thought, had been stupid enough to hope, that he was done feeling that way.

The firewhiskey in his glass scorched the inside of his throat every time he took a sip, but it was a burn that he was all but numb to now. A feeling of responsibility, of guilt, coursed through his veins like Fiendfyre. What was the use of being an Auror if he couldn’t even stop this, couldn’t help the Wizarding World keep the freedom it deserved?

He felt a presence at his side, but stubbornly refused to look up from his glass. “I happen to like drinking alone.”

[fcksirius-blog]

♚♚ nothin’ but a hound dog ;; a sirius black aesthetic

“we’ve all got both light and dark inside of us.                what matters is the part we choose to act on.                               t h a t ’ s who we really are.”

[undynememes-blog]

CHARACTER FLAWS MEME.

[siriusxrion]

undynememes:

bold flaws your character has / italicise ones they used to have, or have partially. feel free to add more.

absent-minded / abusive / addicted / aimless / alcoholic / aloof / anxious / arrogant / audacious / has bad habits / big mouthed / bigoted / blunt / bold / callous / childish / cruel / cursed / dependent / dishonest / disloyal / disturbed / dubious / egotistical / envious / erratic / fanatical / fickle / fierce / finicky / flirty / gluttonous / gruff / gullible / hedonistic / humourless / hypocritical / idiotic / ignorant / illiterate / immature / impatient / impious / impish / incompetent / indecisive / indifferent / infamous / intolerant / judgemental / lazy / lewd / liar / lustful / masochistic / meddlesome / meek / megalomanic / naïve / nosey / obsessive / oppressive / overambitious / overemotional / overprotective / overzealous / paranoid / peevish / perfectionist / pessimistic / phobic / rebellious / reckless / remorseless / rigorous / sadistic / sarcastic / sceptic / seducer / selfish / self-martyr / self-righteous / senile / shallow / smart ass / solemn / spineless / spiteful / spoiled / squeamish / stubborn / superstitious / tactless / temperamental / theatrical / timid / tongue-tied / unlucky / unpredictable / untrustworthy / vain / weak-willed / withdrawn

[earth]

[tenaciousbee]

hp aesthetics ↳ Gryffindor (part 1)

[rabbitinthemoon-blog]

“In truth, you like the pain. You like it because you believe you deserve it.”

Marya Hornbacher   (via luciferwrites)