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hot-paint-heat-point

sirndipity

The glasses complete the look. Sexy, smart, and submissive 😈

gecemsel-deactivated20230831

soberscientistlife

perfectfeelings

“If you look back only at your mistakes, you’d think you were an idiot. If you look back only at your wiser choices, you’d think you were infallible. But if you look back on everything, you realize you’re a human being who has been through a lot, grown a lot, is always still learning, and improving as time goes by.”

— Doe Zantamata

bdsmgeek-deactivated20141001

subnancy-blog

This clever rope-cuff allows her to grasp the rope when she struggles so it doesn’t injure her wrists.

milkymissy-deactivated20160113

this is actually quite wonderful and I don’t really wish to delve far into the art of this but someone took the time to come up with this and it’s nice

comelycalligraphy

No pressure on major nerves or arteries as long as the first loop isn’t abnormally tight and secure enough to make movement actually restrained once anchored. Looks fun 👀

positivelypositivethoughts

theambitiouswoman

40 Tips For Becoming More Disciplined 📌💡🚀📝

Know what you want to achieve soon and in the future. This helps you know where to go and stay motivated.

Do the most important things first to save time and energy.

Have a daily plan that includes work, rest, exercise, and learning.

Make big tasks smaller so they're not scary, and you can see progress.

Use methods like the Pomodoro Technique (working for a while, then resting) or blocking time to get more done.

Notice when you're avoiding work and make yourself start.

Control yourself from getting distracted or doing things just for fun.

Say no politely when you can't do more things without getting stressed.

Stay healthy by eating well, exercising, and sleeping enough.

Keep learning by reading, taking classes, or trying new things.

Check how you're doing with your goals and change plans if needed.

Tell a friend or mentor your goals so they can help you stay on track.

Keep your spaces tidy to help you focus better.

Learning discipline takes time, and it's okay if things don't go perfectly.

Think good thoughts about yourself instead of bad ones.

Imagine doing well to get motivated.

Mistakes are chances to learn, not reasons to give up.

Be happy about even small successes to stay positive.

Listen to advice from others to get better.

Be ready to change your plans but keep your main goals.

Try mindfulness to concentrate, be calm, and know yourself better.

Write about your progress and plans in a journal.

Turn off things like social media when you work or study.

Think about things you're thankful for to stay happy.

Do quick tasks right away instead of waiting.

Spend time with people who help you and make you want to be better.

Let others do tasks that you don't need to do, so you can focus.

Get better at handling problems without giving up.

Picture doing well to stay motivated.

Drink water to think clearly and stay healthy.

Have a special place to work or study to help you focus.

Wait for bigger rewards instead of quick ones.

Keep things simple, both around you and in your mind, so you can concentrate.

Listen to advice without feeling bad about yourself.

Use apps and tools to manage your tasks and time.

Reading helps you learn and think better.

Decide what's good enough for you and stick to it.

Believe you can get smarter and better with practice.

Do creative things to stay imaginative and interested.

Listen carefully to others to be better at talking and understanding.

gangsters-wife

bdsmgeek-deactivated20141001

soberscientistlife

jealousyyouhavetoearn

Advice from an 80 year old man

1. Have a firm handshake. 2. Look people in the eye. 3. Sing in the shower. 4. Own a great stereo system. 5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard. 6. Keep secrets. 7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday. 8. Always accept an outstretched hand. 9. Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference. 10. Whistle. 11. Avoid sarcastic remarks. 12. Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery. 13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out. 14. Lend only those books you never care to see again. 15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have. 16. When playing games with children, let them win. 17. Give people a second chance, but not a third. 18. Be romantic. 19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know. 20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems. 21. Don’t allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It’s there for our convenience, not the caller’s. 22. Be a good loser. 23. Be a good winner. 24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret. 25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go. 26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born. 27. Keep it simple. 28. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose. 29. Don’t burn bridges. You’ll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river. 30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets 31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did. 32. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them. 33. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you. 34. Take charge of your attitude. Don’t let someone else choose it for you. 35. Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes. 36. Begin each day with some of your favourite music. 37. Once in a while, take the scenic route. 38. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, ‘Someone who thinks you’re terrific.’ 39. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice. 40. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m. 41. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job. 42. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later. 43. Make someone’s day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you. 44. Become someone’s hero. 45. Marry only for love. 46. Count your blessings. 47. Compliment the meal when you’re a guest in someone’s home. 48. Wave at the children on a school bus. 49. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people. 50. Don’t expect life to be fair

anapparition

I wonder what this fine gentleman would think of what we have done to the world he left us…

sgtgrunt0331

Damn good advice. Everyone should read this and put it to use.

myauthenticsoul-deactivated2018

Sage advice!

short-haired-girls-rock-deactiv

Love 💛

lilandlocked

I always say learn from history

locked-in-love

Truth

acruelgentleman-deactivated2018

Dominance and Depression

When getting out of bed, cleaning the house, and paying the bills are unbearable chores, being responsible for another human being’s welfare can feel like a crushing burden. A Dominant who lives with depression may at times feel weak, irresponsible, no match for the task of even showing up to the job, nevermind exerting the effort and strength required to be the submissive’s rock and shelter. Depression creates unique challenges for the relationship, and will test the strength and patience of both Dominant and submissive. Only by working together can the couple maintain their bond and fulfill their roles.

Here are a few observations and bits of wisdom I’ve gleaned from capable sources, as well as from my own time in the trenches.

Your mental health is your responsibility. Yes, your partner should support you in every way possible and make all efforts to help you through the rough patches. But no one can cure you. No one can save you. No one can carry the burden for you. Take your meds. Talk to your therapist. Keep your appointments. And when you feel like doing nothing but lying in bed and hiding from the world, remember that you are a Dominant, you are strong, you are your own light. Throw off those covers and leap out of bed.

Tell your submissive what you need. This is often exceedingly difficult, because you may not have a clue what you need. But make every effort to keep those lines of communication open. During your lowest times, your submissive may feel lost and unsure without your usual guidance and strength. Assure them that you love them still, that this depression is in no way a reflection on them, and give them tasks that will allow them to do what most drives them: pleasing you

Submissives, this is your opportunity to step up and show your quality. Pleasing your Dominant is your purpose and goal in this relationship. Keep to your daily rituals and rules as much as possible. Remind your owner that you belong to them, that you love them with all your heart, and that they are not alone in the darkness. Do those things that usually please them, without waiting to be told. And above all, be available, and be patient. They will come back to you. You just have to turn on the light for them to find their way home.

Depression can sap all of your strength and motivation. It can make you doubt everyone and everything. Be kind and gentle with yourself. You’re not suffering from depression; you are living with it. You are not a victim; you are a survivor. When the darkness settles around you like an impenetrable fog, remember the steel you’re made of and the be empowered by the worship of the one who loves you above all others. Get up. Wake up. Arise, O lions, and shake off the delusion that you are sheep.

instructor144

This is really good writing, and spot-on advice besides. As someone who shares with my hero, TR, intermittent bouts of what he called “black care” (what today we would call depression), the power and iron in those last few sentences really resonates with me.

instructor144

Written by my friend @acruelgentleman in his earlier blog incarnation, the man who gifted me his Torc because “it needs a proper home and it belongs with you.”

our-flr-deactivated20240624

All of this, the original post and all the replies, in any relationship, such powerful words…

“You’re not suffering with depression, you’re living with it. You are not a victim, you are a survivor. When the darkness settles around you like an impenetrable fog, remember the steel you are made of and then be empowered by the worship of the one who loves you above all others”.

onlinecounsellingcollege

Practical Tips for Coping with Anxiety

According to Dr T.A. Richards, we can stop thoughts that lead to anxiety by consciously replacing them by more rational thoughts like the following:

When anxiety is near:

1. I’m going to be all right. My feelings are not always rational. I’m just going to relax, calm down, and everything will be all right.

2. Anxiety is not dangerous — it’s just uncomfortable. I am fine; I’ll just continue with what I’m doing or find something more active to do.

3. Right now I have some feelings I don’t like. They are really just phantoms, however, because they are disappearing. I will be fine.

4. Right now I have feelings I don’t like. They will be over with soon and I’ll be fine. For now, I am going to focus on doing something else around me.

5. That picture (image) in my head is not a healthy or rational picture. Instead, I’m going to focus on something healthy like _________________________.

6. I’ve stopped my negative thoughts before and I’m going to do it again now. I am becoming better and better at deflecting these automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) and that makes me happy.

7. So I feel a little anxiety now, SO WHAT? It’s not like it’s the first time. I am going to take some nice deep breaths and keep on going. This will help me continue to get better.”

When preparing for a stressful situation

1. I’ve done this before so I know I can do it again.

2. When this is over, I’ll be glad that I did it.

3. The feeling I have about this trip doesn’t make much sense. This anxiety is like a mirage in the desert. I’ll just continue to walk forward until I pass right through it.

4. This may seem hard now, but it will become easier and easier over time.

5. I think I have more control over these thoughts and feelings than I once imagined. I am very gently going to turn away from my old feelings and move in a new, betterdirection.

When feeling overwhelmed

1. I can be anxious and still focus on the task at hand. As I focus on the task, my anxiety will go down.

2. Anxiety is a old habit pattern that my body responds to. I am going to calmly and nicely change this old habit. I feel a little bit of peace, despite my anxiety, and this peace is going to grow and grow. As my peace and security grow, then anxiety and panic will have to shrink.

3. At first, my anxiety was powerful and scary, but as time goes by it doesn’t have the hold on me that I once thought it had. I am moving forward gently and nicely all the time.

4. I don’t need to fight my feelings. I realize that these feelings won’t be allowed to stay around very much longer. I just accept my new feelings of peace, contentment, security, and confidence.

5. All these things that are happening to me seem overwhelming. But I’ve caught myself this time and I refuse to focus on these things. Instead, I’m going to talk slowly to myself, focus away from my problem, and continue with what I have to do. In this way, my anxiety will have to shrink away and disappear.

Source: http://www.anxietynetwork.com/helpcope.html