Sitting On The Couch @sittingonthecouch56-blog - Tumblr Blog

What in the world

As I sit here on the couch scratching my head I ponder on the world's current situation. We can no longer point fingers or pound our fists upon a table of injustices and lies. Let's put aside all our differences and stand for what is righteous for all. Keep this in mind, if that person (who shall remain anonymous) believes his thinking is very very great and press that red button 🚨 confusing it for Uber Eats. We shall truly be in a fix. I'm just saying #youwillfigureitout

Hold to his hand

In light of our current event, I am going to sit back on my comfy couch and relax. I am over the shock and it's business as usual for me. But, I will be making an extra trip to Walgreen with my coupon for some petroleum jelly to keep my knees greased because if you have never prayed before you better assume the position. We all need a Saviour........Help us Lord

An eye for an eye 👀

Sitting here on my comfy couch, I start thinking about all of the recent home invasions that is popping up all over the country. Listen, I am not going to live in fear while paying a mortgage at the same time! I don't think so!! I'll leave the door unlocked for you, come on in. Please wipe the dirt off your shoes on the welcome mat outside before entering. I guarantee that you will be elated to see the police and welcome your jail time once I finish with you. There's no place like home. 🏡

Pants on 🔥

As I sit and ponder on an experience that I had recently with someone who thought he was superior to me. Well let me give you a nugget of wisdom which you lack due to ignorance. All shut eyes are not sleep that's what the old folks use to say. There will come a time and very soon I might add that you will have to pay to the piper. The way I see it you will be playing a symphony orchestra for all the cross things you have done to many. When the Almighty strike your behind don't look to me to douse out the flames. I hope you are smart enough to stop, drop and roll....just a thought

ADHD?

As I sit here on the couch, I question your clinical assessment of Adult ADHD. There is nothing wrong with my attention span nor am I hyper. It's my finances man!!! Who can think straight when you have to rob Peter to pay Paul. I robbed Peter so much that he has since moved out of the neighborhood. You go to work everyday trying to be grateful for having a job, you tolerate the bull kernels of your supervisor while smiling in their face you are thinking take a flying leap. Well folks I have decided to let the clinical assessment work in my favor. When you see me yelling and screaming and collapse on the floor leave me right there and call 911 (workers comp). That's my story.

Let My People Go

As I sit on the couch, my mind goes to the biblical story of Moses. You know how that mean old Pharaoh commanded that the slaves make bricks out of straw. Well my two co-workers reminded me of that story. That task master is alive and well today in the 21st century. They were working like little slaves with their heads down almost afraid to look up. Being the caring co-worker that I am, I kept my comments to a minimal and kept it moving. Ain't nobody got time for that. I didn't come to work to actually work like that! And go home with the same pay....no..no...they should have hid in the high grass by the water like me so that Pharaoh wouldn't have seen them.

#duckwhenyouseethemcoming

I am not senile

As I sit on the couch I think about how my daughter is treating me like I'm losing it! Hello, when did we switch the role of you being the mother and me the child. Heck I have gone through some real issues in this life. With that said if I feel like I want to moon you or anyone else for that matter that gets on my last nerve, guess what (I CAN)....I am at the age whereas I can express myself in just about any manner that I please. I am aware that there are shades of gray areas to be mindful of, not (50 shades of gray). Nothing is wrong with my mind. I chose to forget what I don't want to be bothered with....like annoying kids, my supervisor, your dad my husband.....and those bills that come in the mail. Didn't I pay them last month...I'm just saying. So make like Little Darryl AND LEAVE ME ALONE.

#amindisabeautifulthingtokeep

Love

As I sit on the couch...my heart goes out to the families that lost a love one in that senseless killing in Florida. I pray that we learn to love each other in spite of differences. God, this world needs you like never before.

Sigh

Sitting on the couch thinking about how people today are so disrespectful towards people that are 55 & older. Not realizing that if they keep on living it is possible that they will get old some day (just a thought). Keep on thinking that we are push-overs and that you can bully us. When you find yourself in the ER due to an (80 year old Granny) busting your head open with a rock. I guess you will be singing R E S P E CT....found out what AARP did to me!

#respectgoesalongway

Not Today

As I try to sit on the couch in peace from all the foolishness, I have to comment on all of the foolishness that is going on in my work place. Please leave me alone! You don't need my help with being a butt head, actually you are doing a marvelous job all by yourself. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to notice that most of the staff have resigned for better. But, you still continue to think that you know it all (poor dummy). I guess the light bulb will go off when you come to the office one day and you yell out good morning and it echo throughout the office.......Bye Felicia

#answerthephoneyourself

Speed Bump

As I relax on the couch I start to think about how people just walk out in the middle of traffic and look at you (while driving) like you are in the wrong. All I can say is, don't blame me for the tire marks on your body because you decided to walk your silly behind in the middle of the street against traffic and say, " hit me!" I will sue you. Okay, your wish is my command.....I am not stopping short to avoid hitting you and causing injury to my neck & back. Oh no when the police arrive I'm going to say with a straight face, I thought that was a road bump. Also, as far as suing me all I have at this present time is a 13 year old Maltese that is blind, has arthritis in her hind legs and oh yeah missing some of her lower front teeth. Well, I guess it was worth getting run over..................

#goheadmakemyday

Little Miss Independent

Sitting here on the couch I reminisce about my daughter's first day at preschool. As we approached her classroom, I was prepared to reassure her that she would be just fine and not to cry like the other little ones. Well, she turns to me and says, "bye mommy I will see you later" with a smile and walks into her class. I'm the one who's left in tears. Today, 31 years later she says to me with a sad face "Mommy I don't want to go to work today." Sorry chica you should have said that 31 years ago....I'm still feeling salty.... #getdastepping

Happy Mothers Day

As I sit on the couch I remember my Mom ( Betty Jo). I truly miss her. She taught me how to be the strong woman that I am today. When you did things she warned you not to do; she would say in a sweet voice "you're on notice." So, I decided to push the envelope one day (moment of insanity) and did what I wanted to do. She turned into a Japanese Ninja right before my eyes and that's all that I can remember it all went dark after that........ #Inmyheartforever

Sigh...

Boy, it's difficult to sit on the couch today and to keep my mouth shut as well, that's too much multitasking for me. Have you ever had someone on your job that you just wanted to slap that person silly. But it's no use because he/she is past stupid. Maybe tomorrow...........I can't

#dumbanddumber

Don't Judge Me

One thing that burns the cushions on my couch is people pre-judging you. Example: When you shop in a high end store and the associates look at you with their noses up in the air like you don't belong or don't have any money. Unknown to them (I have money and a credit card for that store with a very large credit limit). Mmmm so what do I do? I say to the associate, can you assist me please (in a very dignified voice). Yes, I shop to I drop....the associate is smiling and pleased (calculating her commission in her head). She says to me, please come again, these are the days that I am scheduled to work and I'll be more then happy to assist you. I say in a (sheepish voice) Thank you darling will do, you have made my day worthwhile. After I leave her presence I go straight to another counter and return everything. OH WELL........

#NOCOMMISSIONFORYOU

Mustache

Do you know what time it is (couch sitting time). It is really hard for me to afford to eat chemical and hormone free food. The FDA should be responsible for providing free vouchers to the threading salon for my upper lip and chin. It's not funny when your neighbor mistakes you (side view) for your husband and yells out....Hey Buddy how is your day going so far? In a baritone voice, I reply back "Swell" and keep it moving.

#LOOKCLOSER

Click

I have a confession that I must make. Darn it, today of all days while sitting on the couch I have a conscience. Well, have you ever experienced having a conversation on your cell phone and the call drops in the dead zone. That’s not the case with all of my dropped calls. Picture this if you will, let me explain. When I call you and you always take over the conversation with the same old drama from years ago (LET IT GO PLEASE). I conveniently hit my END CALL key. You call back in a few minutes and say what happened. I say with a straight face, I must have hit a dead zone….girl I don’t know what is wrong with my phone, talk to you later. Hey it’s another phone option see if it works for you. Just a thought

#hello/goodbye

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