totally not a cat

thoughts and politics and multiple fandoms and whatever else comes to mind

[vmkhoneyy]

“Oh how do you stay positive when the world is so awful how can you stay positive when our lives are falling apart-“ SPITE!!!!! ITS SPITE GODDAMN IT!!! REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE ANGRY AT THE WORLD AS A TEENAGER?? THAT KID WAS RIGHT AND YES IT FUCKING SUCKS AND NO, ITS NOT FAIR, SO YOU HAVE TO KEEP TRYING TO MAKE IT FAIR!!!!

[rafterdarkr]

why are all these modern aus for the Odyssey set in a high school. where's the retelling where Odysseus is just a guy lost in an airport who keeps missing his connecting flights home due to a comical series of delays and disgruntled airline employees

[butterscotch-goat]

so trial before pilate huh

[sixandahalfcats]

do you think that jesus, son of god, ever yearned to be an normal man, free of the expectations placed on him by his father? i wonder if he would ever cry for his mother, or the quiet life he could’ve had.

[linguist-in-a-blanket]

Mother to Christ, at a loss:

- Are you my God or son?

You’re nailed onto the cross.

Tell me how to go on?

How can I go, having not

understood, grasped, derived:

are you my son or God?

That is, dead or alive?

He, in turn, explained:

- Dead or alive, this time,

woman, it’s all the same.

Son or God, I’m thine.

Brodsky "Nature Morte" (unfortunately can't find the translator)

[sixandahalfcats]

do you think that jesus, son of god, ever yearned to be an normal man, free of the expectations placed on him by his father? i wonder if he would ever cry for his mother, or the quiet life he could’ve had.

[sixandahalfcats]

every day when i get home i unzip my skin.

i remove my eyes, and peel off my lips.

i switch out my brain, and shut off my ears.

in the morning, i put my skin back on.

i fix my eyes, my lips, my brain, and turn my ears back on.

i walk among the others, and observe as i pick out the ones who also hide among them.

some are easier to identify than others, the nervousness of being caught as an imposter radiating.

their skins slowly peeling off like the sticky notes that cover my mirror, “i am human” scrawled across each in an illegible manner.

as my skin falls off, i’m seen.

their words tear into me like a scalpel, their eyes are nauseating as they gut me from the inside out. the blood is drained from my body while i curl into myself.

slowly i dissolve into what i truly am

they see right through the thin sheet protecting the little bit that’s left of me.

they don’t stop there though, instead they keep going until i am nothing.

i am human. i am human. i am human. i am human. i am human.

- alien

[defstan]

basically the entire show

[sixandahalfcats]

happy birthday steve rogers you would’ve hated current american politics

[sixandahalfcats]

and suddenly i’m 13 years old again and sitting on the bathroom counter while i pick at my skin and cut my bangs shorter and hope it would make the people at school treat me like a person

[politijohn]

Source

[prophetic-writer]

"How do you write such realistic dialogue-" I TALK TO MYSELF. I TALK TO MYSELF AND I PRETEND I AM THE ONE SAYING THE LINE. LIKE SANITY IS SLOWLY SLIPPING FROM BETWEEN MY FINGERS WITH EVERY MEASLY WORD THEY TYPE OUT. THAT IS HOW.

[birdblogwhichisforbirds-deactiv]

I cannot emphasize enough how much of a life hack it is to exclusively be friends with, date and marry people who are not constantly mean assholes to you.

[angstmonsterwrites]

This may seem like basic common sense, but one interesting (and kind of terrifying) thing I recently read was that some individuals who grew up in an emotionally abusive environment find that their anxiety level actually decreases in the presence of those who are mean or overly critical of them because it's familiar. Their nervous systems are hard wired to react to that kind of treatment as "normal" in the sense that it knows what to do with it--what defense mechanisms to employ when, etc.

Meanwhile, kinder, more peaceful, and healthier relationships are quite a dramatic adjustment, and ironically feel less predictable because of all the threats that are absent and never materialize. It feels suspicious or too good to be true, which in turn ratchets up hypervigilance and hyper-arousal. Instead of knowing what BS is coming because it always does, there's the nebulous sense that the other shoe is just waiting to drop. Safety and respect can feel the most unsafe for a while, because as far as the traumatized nervous system is concerned, those things don't exist, or if they do in any form, there must be a million unseen strings attached.

This is part of what traps a lot of people in abusive relationships, consistently draws them to want to please assholes, or keeps them moving from one unhealthy environment to the next--a highly toxic comfort of familiarity where being on the receiving end of cruelty feels like "home".

[sixandahalfcats]

it not selfish to want to be happy

[sixandahalfcats]

why was the girl in my class who called queer people “attention seekers” singing chappell roan today. like babe these songs are not for you.

[sixandahalfcats]

rotting in your own sadness won’t get you anywhere

[sixandahalfcats]

you weren’t a bad person, you were 13. sure that doesn’t mean what you did was okay, but it means you need to learn from it and move on.

[sixandahalfcats]

i think 10 year old me would think i was cool now so life isn’t actually that bad