Breakfast Club: Wizarding Edition
«So… let me get this straight… you cast a Petrificus Totalus on the Potions professor’s tongue, and that’s why you’re here?»
Taekjoo was holding a broom. Not a Nimbus 2000 or anything of the sort: just a regular, ordinary straw broom. None of them were allowed to use magic.
Loren was sitting with his legs elegantly crossed on a chair in the Potions classroom, his decidedly non-magical broom leaning against the desk—utterly abandoned and untouched.
«Well, yes. He was being so irritating. And besides, he only gave me an ‘Outstanding’ on the last test.»
«‘Outstanding’ is the highest grade,» chimed in Tae-ui, who was frantically polishing glass phials with a feather duster like a convict sentenced to hard labor.
«Absolutely not. I deserved an ‘Outstanding’ with a kiss on the forehead and a letter of commendation. I always do.»
Loren cast a glance of pure pity at his two housemates. In theory, they were supposed to be sorting the potions into the correct phials. In practice, every two minutes they were testing them on themselves, giggling like idiots. At that exact moment, Ilay was snickering because Zhenya had sprouted a pig nose, while Zhenya, out of revenge and pure entertainment, had turned Ilay’s face into a pug snout.
Loren grimaced in disgust and added, with an air of superiority, «Mmh… okay. I’m not entirely sure who among us is in the wrong place.»
«Professor Slughorn was clear,» Taeui said calmly. «The Potions classroom needs to be cleaned from top to bottom. Then it’s the bathrooms. And no magic.»
The speaker was a honey-blonde guy with an impudent look in his eyes. His Gryffindor uniform was half-crumpled, and he was holding a steaming phial. He blew into it, and a thick white foam—as dense as whipped cream—exploded right into his face, sticking like a fluffy beard.
«I am Dumbledore! One hundred points from Slytherin!» he mimicked, modulating his voice ridiculously.
Zhenya and Ilay, miraculously back to normal, glared at him. They had taken that personally.
Loren grimaced again, rubbing the bridge of his nose. «Yeah. There’s definitely somewhere else some of you should be. Not here.»
«Cut it out, Adrian, and do your job properly,» Taekjoo snapped, his nerves frayed by his dramatic antics.
«At least I’m working,» Adrian retorted, spitting out a bit of foam and casting an exasperated look at the two Slytherins who were still slacking off, and a second, even sharper glare at Loren, who was sitting comfortably doing absolutely nothing.
«I am helping,» Loren replied cheekily, inspecting his nails. «I am channeling my positive energy so you can carry out your little chores better. Though…»
He leaned forward, placing the back of his hand under his chin, suddenly struck by a wicked curiosity. «…I’d love to know what a Ravenclaw did to end up in detention.»
Taekjoo’s shoulders tensed, his grip tightening on the broom handle. «If it helps… I didn’t petrify a teacher.»
«No. But you must have done something to end up here, right?» Loren taunted him with an irritating smirk.
«I told you how I got into detention,» Loren insisted, feigning offense.
«So it’s true what they call you? Chickenclaws?»
Loren made a clucking chicken sound at him.
Taekjoo shot him a look that could have incinerated a Dementor.
«Screw you, you filthy snake. I was caught in the Restricted Section of the library. I couldn’t study ten subjects at once and needed something to pass the Charms exam. Happy now?»
«Ooh… a chicken with actual claws who breaks the rules sometimes. Interesting.» Loren turned to Adrian with a smirk. «And what about you, blondie?»
Adrian looked around, then glanced at Zhenya and Ilay with a guilty air. «Me?»
«Yeah. You Gryffindors have no sense of moderation. If you want to do something, you just do it, like primitives. But I’m still curious… what did you mess up?»
Adrian ran a hand through his hair, which still had traces of foam, and puffed out his chest theatrically.
«Well… yeah. We’re a bit crazy, you’re not wrong. But that’s because we love danger, baby.»
«Then you must have done something huge!» Tae-ui interrupted, as curious as a little monkey. «Come on, spill!»
«Well, I mean…» Adrian tried to stall.
«Oh come on, that’s enough,» Zhenya cut in, clearly done with the little show. Then he burst out laughing heartily. «He was just trying to steal cream puffs from the kitchen!»
Adrian turned bright red, screaming internally.
Zhenya kept laughing even harder, leaning on his broom. «If by ‘danger’ you mean Professor Sprout chasing you down to help three house-elves armed with rolling pins… then hell yeah!»
«And what about you?» Taekjoo asked Zhenya, turning sharply. «How did you end up in detention?»
Zhenya crossed his arms, deadly smug in his own chaos.
«I was in the kitchen looking for cream puffs too. Then I started getting bored, found some Elixir to Induce Euphoria nearby, and so…»
«You were the one who drugged the cream puffs?!» Taekjoo yelled, on the verge of an aneurysm.
Zhenya shrugged nonchalantly. «Oh come on, don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy watching the professors dance the samba.»
«Mmh. I don’t think making you clean the Potions classroom as punishment was entirely appropriate, but okay,» Loren observed, almost admiringly.
Zhenya turned to Tae-ui with a grin. «And you, shorty? What could a Hufflepuff possibly have done to get detention?»
Tae-ui froze, feather duster mid-air. Then he turned, slowly blushing all the way to the tips of his ears, as if he had spontaneously caught fire.
«Me? Well… actually, I was in the library too.» He swallowed hard.
Taekjoo looked at him with concern, narrowing his eyes. «Are you okay, Taeui? You don’t look so good…»
«So you and Taekjoo got detention for the same reason?» Adrian guessed, tilting his head.
Taeui went from red to bright crimson. «Um… no.»
«Then what were you doing in the library?» pressed Adrian, professional busybody.
Taeui looked up, betrayed by his own subconscious. Everyone followed the direction of his gaze.
In the dusty classroom, a unanimous, low chorus filled with mutual understanding broke out:
Ilay, who was still trying to separate the potions without killing anyone, looked up, caught off guard by the sudden wave of attention. He looked at each of the smirking faces around him, then shrugged and whispered with a confused (yet secretly knowing) air:
What happens when six chaotic BL manhwa boys serve detention together in the Potions classroom.
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