Sixty Second Movie Spoilers

If you can't describe the plot of a movie in under a minute you're doing it wrong

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Birds of prey raised by "good" monkeys kill the king of the "bad" monkeys, and a human girl steals a computer hard drive.

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American politicians conspire with communists to take over the American Presidency. The plan is thwarted at the last minute by Frank Sinatra and Laurence Harvey.

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A young girl is kidnapped. She eventually gets her CDL and becomes a fairly competent over-the-road trucker. She also possibly grows a peach tree out of Chris Hemsworth's crotch.

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Denzel Washington goes back in time, prevents a terrorist bombing and saves a young woman's life.

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A man kills himself in order to be cryogenically frozen. He then spends the next 150 years dreaming in a lucid state, after which, he decides to wake up, and resume living his real life again.

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Robert Pattinson raises his daughter in space. At the end, they fly into a black hole together.

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Sam Rockwell discovers he is just one iteration of thousands of clones used as slave labor on the moon by an earth-based corporate energy concern.

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Kirsten Dunst gets shot and killed while trying to photograph the President of the United States minutes before he's shot and killed and the country is overthrown.

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Conservative prudes create a video signal that causes brain tumors and hallucinations in the viewer. James Woods grows a video cassette shaped vagina in his stomach and shoots himself in an abandoned boat.

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A UFO hides in the clouds, eating people and horses. A brother and sister destroy it by making it eat a large helium filled balloon.

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A NASA space probe successfully mates with a human being (who turned out to be a bit of a pervert in his own right IRL).

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Plucky blue natives successfully fend off yet another offensive by human invaders.

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A young Native American woman kills a Predator.

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A woman attempts to destroy three planets in an effort to save her own planet. Three superheroes thwart her plans, and then one of the superheroes helps the woman save her planet anyway. Of the three superheroes, the one played by Teyonah Parris ends up trapped in a parallel universe at the end of the film.

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A man allows his wife to talk him into preemptively killing all of his rivals, then gets killed by his own men.

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Season 1: The government experiments on a little girl, giving her special powers and causing her to open a rift to a parallel dimension. A monster from that parallel dimension terrorizes a small mid-western town, until the little girl uses her special powers to vanquish said monster.

Sseason 2: The rift from another dimension, that a little girl opened in season one, continues to expand into the same, small, mid-western town, until the little girl uses her special powers to seal said rift.

Season 3: With the help of the Russians, operating secretly in the US, the rift is again opened into the small mid-western town. This time, said rift is closed by the town’s Chief of Police and that chick from Beetlejuice.

Season 4: Despite the valiant efforts of the protagonists, large-scale and wide spread rifts from the parallel dimension open in the small mid-western town, threatening it and the world.

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Plucky orphan is good at chess, wears too much eye-liner and beats Russian Grandmaster after three attempts.