Ky

Give me Rowaelin, the Bat Boys, and Lucien ♡

[tswaney17]

I Do Bad Things with You Masterlist

Summary: Elain and Azriel were high school sweethearts until Azriel unexpectedly ends their relationship after graduation. It’s been ten years since they’ve seen or spoken to each other. But when the bank that Elain worked at part-time to pay for medical school is robbed at gunpoint, she’s surprised when the criminals seem to recognize her and retreat in fear. She later finds out that Azriel is the head of the Velaris Mob and has placed her on a “do not harm” list and decides to confront the male that once held her heart. After years apart, their reconciliation is anything but easy. When a threat arises, Elain and Azriel have to figure out a way to co-exist again while not letting their history or feelings get in the way, which proves to be more of a challenge than either of them anticipated.

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics

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[shyvioletcat]

A/N: I'm gonna be honest, i lost my editing steam about halfway through Rowan's second POV, so past there we're just going to ignore any errors due to my impatience. Thank you so much for your patience, this chapter has been sitting in my brain for a long time. It's something other than poorly edited

~ Made of Ashes Masterlist ~

~~~~~

Aelin was so tired she didn’t know how she was conscious or functioning. The inevitable had happened, her precious little baby was sick. And she was left floundering.

It had started out fairly mild. Just a little bit of a runny nose and some irritability. The first few days had been next to nothing and Aelin had been able to cope fairly well. She was a little sleep deprived and a little anxious, but that was all and overall it hadn’t been too bad. And then Elsie didn’t get better, in fact she got worse, and everything flipped on its head. Now Elsie was coughing, often wheezing, a low appetite and a fever just to round it out. Aelin was doing her best and she managed to get Elsie to take some pain relievers that helped the baby sleep. The real issue was getting Elsie to eat enough, she was still only breastfed but Aelin fed her whenever she wanted, no matter when. It just felt like it wasn’t enough.

It had been two days of Aelin barely sleeping while fretting over her fussy daughter. Every cough and whimper had her nerves on edge, as did trying to placate to Elsie’s every whim. Aelin was battling this fight on her own. Her parents were on a business trip in Rifthold and she didn’t want to risk spreading the infection to Rue, and Korby was already sick. So Aelin would soldier on, in the trenches and on the front lines. 

Seeing her daughter sick was heartbreaking. It left her with a deep feeling of helplessness, because at the very heart of it there was nothing Aelin could do to ease her baby’s suffering. Nothing seemed to please her and the best Aelin could do was hold her just about every minute of the day. When Elsie wasn’t attached to her mother she cried like her own heart was breaking. Aelin hadn’t showered in a good 36 hours and sustenance came from whatever she could make and eat one handed. 

They were currently on Aelin’s bed with the pillows stacked so that she could lean back and rest Elsie on her chest so they were both mostly upright. Elsie fussed, fighting sleep, her little whimpers sounding congested. Aelin knew her daughter needed rest, it would be the fastest way to get better. A nap would do them both some good in fact. 

“Come on, darling,” Aelin whispered, eyes closed like all her energy diverted to keep her mouth moving. “Just sleep, even for a little bit.”

Elsie protested, rubbing her face on her mother’s shirt, no doubt getting drool and snot everywhere. Aelin didn’t care, dirty clothes weren’t a concern right now. Keeping her eyes closed Aelin started to hum and there was a moment of quiet before Elsie started fussing again. She changed to singing You Are My Sunshine softly. That one almost worked but Elsie’s contentment only lasted about a minute. And then a song came into her head at random, and Aelin was singing it before she even realised what she was doing. 

Beautiful Dreamer, wake unto me,

Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;

Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,

Lull'd by the moonlight have all passed away!

Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song,

List while I woo thee with soft melody;

The song was one Rowan used to sing all the time, one that his mother used to sing to him if he was to be believed. Aelin’s voice was weak and uneven, but she did her best. This song sounded better when Rowan sang it, his accent adding a bit of whimsy, almost making it sound like some kind of faerie lullaby. 

Gone are the cares of life's busy throng

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

Beautiful dreamer, out on the sea,

Mermaids are chanting the wild Lorelei;

Over the stream let vapours are borne,

Waiting to fade at the bright coming morn.

Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart,

E'en as the morn on the stream let and sea;

Then will all clouds of sorrow depart,

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

Elsie went quiet and Aelin let out a shaky sigh of relief. Finally, a reprieve. Aelin sang it again and Elsie stayed quiet, and half way through the third time the baby was asleep. Too tired to care, Aelin didn’t bother trying to open her eyes knowing that sleep was hovering over her. It was barely a minute later and she was asleep. 

Something pulled Aelin to consciousness, not even realising how deep of a sleep she had fallen into. Within a few heart startling moments she would realise it was mother’s intuition. Elsie was still on her chest, awake and in distress. Her breathing was rapid and Aelin was sweating herself from how hot the infant was. Aelin’s body reacted first—tipping forward and cradling Elsie in her arms so that she could see her better. 

Elsie’s breathing was deep and rapid and she was looking pale. One of her fists waved about, knocking the side of her head and ears. And then Elsie coughed, an awful sound that had Aelin’s insides twisting with panic. Her baby was unwell, severely unwell.

Aelin fumbled for her phone, her hand shaking from panic and exhaustion. She couldn’t manage the string of numbers so she went to contacts instead, tapping frantically on the one that simply read: Mum.

“Hello, hello,” Evalin said cheerfully, her face appearing on the screen. 

“Mum, what do I do?” Aelin asked.

Concern flooded her mother’s features. “What do you mean?”

“She’s breathing so hard and her temperature is so high,” Aelin said, her voice heightened with her increasing alarm. “I just fell asleep for a second, just a second.”

Aelin was aware she was reaching hysterics but she couldn’t help it. Panic well and truly had set in and the overwhelming need to protect had taken over, except there was no physical threat. There was nothing she could do. 

“Show me what her breathing is like,” Evalin said, the tension in her voice clear but she was trying to stay calm.

“It’s ah… it’s fast,” Aelin flipped the phone to show Elsie. “And she’s coughing and the pain medicine must have worn off because her fever is back.”

Elsie’s breath caught and she coughed, disrupting her breathing more. Two sets of worried turquoise eyes met each other through the phone screen. Aelin broke. 

“Do I take her to the doctor or the hospital? How am I supposed to drive? I can’t watch her if I’m driving, what if she stops breathing?”

“Oh my sweethearts,” Evalin sounded devastated. “I’m sure she’ll be okay but I think you should take her to the hospital.”

Aelin sobbed, she couldn’t help it. She tried to keep it together but exhaustion and fear were overwhelming her—she was so alone right now. 

“Aelin, don’t drive. Call someone to come get you,” Evalin said. 

 But Aelin’s brain was scrambled, no one immediately came to her. “Who?”

“Aedion, he’s the closest.”

“Yeah, okay,” Aelin said a bit weakly. 

“Call him and then call me back,” Evalin said. “I’ll stay on with you until he gets there.”

Aelin hung up, then called Aedion straight away. She was holding her breath until she got an answer. Somehow she managed to be coherent and Aedion promised to be out the door moments later. Aelin was about to call her mother back when Elsie had a coughing fit, lasting so long that the baby vomited. It covered both of them and Aelin swore under her breath as she tried to contain the vomit and make sure Elsie was all right. 

Elise cried and cried, her pain and discomfort obvious. Aelin tried to comfort her as she bundled Elsie up the best she could and headed for the bathroom, snatching a change of baby clothes from a clean washing basket on the way. There wasn’t time for a shower and Aelin didn’t want to risk the chill Elsie might get after. Aelin stripped the soiled clothes off both of them and threw them in the bathtub and then yanked down a towel to give Elsie a wipe down before dressing her in leggings and a long sleeved t-shirt. The crying hadn’t stopped and Aelin felt tears gathering in her own eyes. The helplessness was overwhelming.

“Aelin.” Aedion was standing in the doorway, his face tight as he took in the scene.

“She’s sick,” Aelin said, sniffling. Her brain was fried and she couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Yeah, poor thing.” Aedion’s tone was soothing, low and soft. 

Aelin stood, keeping a safe hold on her daughter. “We gotta go.”

Aedion stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. “Hold on—’’

What was he doing, didn’t he realise they had to leave? Now. Aelin was about to verbally protest when Aedion gave her a look that had her biting back the words.

“You don’t have a shirt on, and you’ll need your wallet and the nappy bag.”

Aelin had been so concerned about getting Elsie dressed after the vomiting that she hadn’t got a change of clothes for herself. All Aelin wore was a crop bra and pyjama pants. She couldn’t go to the hospital like this. 

“Pass her to me and go get what you need,” Aedion said, holding out his arms to take the baby.

Aelin nodded, passing Elsie over. “Clothes, wallet, bag.”

Over the crying Aedion repeated, “Clothes. Wallet. Bag.”

Aedion left the bathroom, murmuring to Elsie as she cried, but Aelin forced her brain to focus on what she needed to do now. She needed clothes, and her wallet, and stuff for Elsie. Three things and then they could go. In her bedroom Aelin threw on a pair of leggings and the first clean t-shirt she could find, also grabbing a sweatshirt because hospitals were always cold. Next she darted off to Elsie’s room, stuffing more clothes and nappies and a pacifier into the bag. All that was left was her wallet that was on the kitchen counter. 

She found Aedion pacing between the living area and the edge of the kitchen, whispering to Elsie. Aelin was so focused on getting out the door that she didn’t notice the quiet at first. Her daughter was still whimpering softly but the desperate crying had stopped. It irrationally hurt to see Elsie settled when Aelin had been trying so hard—for days. Aedion’s eyes met hers over the top of Elsie’s head and he gave her a weak smile. 

Aelin didn’t return it, too single minded to sort through her feelings. So she just grabbed her wallet from the bench and she was done. “Ready.”

There was a wordless agreement that Aedion would keep Elsie, at least until they got to the car. Elsie was content for the time being and there was no use disturbing her more than she needed to be, even though it caved in Aelin’s chest a little to keep the distance. Blessedly the elevator was quick to arrive and there were no stops down to the garage parking lot. Aedion unlocked the car, but Aelin opened the door and he eased Elsie into the car seat. As soon as the connection to her uncle’s chest was lost the crying started again. Each second seemed to drag on, and for a few of them Aelin waited just holding the door. When Elsie’s cry broke into a screech it kicked Aelin into gear and she was darting around to the other side of the car and climbed into the back seat. 

“I’m here, baby girl. I’m here,” Aelin tried to soothe and Aedion finished up with the buckle. Elsie’s eyes peeked over at her, her bottom lip pouting. “Just hold on, we’re going. You’ll feel better soon. 

The drive consisted of Aelin repeating assurances over and over again, words of comfort and keeping her hands on Elsie so she knew her mother was right there with her. When they got to the hospital everything passed in a blur. Aedion dropped her at the doors and Aelin hurried with Elsie through the doors. As a sick infant Elsie was seen within minutes.

Aelin felt like she was in a limbo as she waited for Elsie to be assessed. To help with her initial comfort they gave Elsie oxygen and put a monitor on her foot. Next it was quickly determined that she was at risk of dehydration so they attached an IV too. That was traumatic, and Aelin thanked the gods that Aedion was by her side when that happened. He was able to hold Aelin’s shaking hand and help keep Elsie still while the nurse injected the needle in her hand. Aelin wasn’t letting her daughter go, even if she barely had the strength. 

It was nearly another hour before they got the full diagnosis. The doctor had introduced herself as Sorsha and Aelin had to hand it to her, she had an excellent bedside manner. She was patient with both Elsie and her mother while the stress was high. Her hazel eyes were kind and sympathetic, but she was assertive and clear every step of the way. 

Sorsha delivered the news on Elsie’s diagnosis herself. She had RSV, which led to an ear infection and bronchitis. Aelin’s heart seized at the words but Sorscha assured her that it sounded scarier than it was. All three were common and treatable, and it was all caught early enough that there were no serious repercussions. And on top of that they had discovered there was a slight structural abnormality in the tubes that connected her ears to her sinuses which had been the cause of the ear infection. It had to do with drainage and bacteria, but Aelin had been too focused on fixing it that most of what was said went over her head. She was told Elsie would most likely grow out of the ear problems, she would just be more susceptible to more infections until she did. The doctor commended Aelin on her actions and left her to process what she’d just heard. 

Aelin had done the right thing, Elsie was okay— just needed to be monitored.

They were moved from the ER department to a room in the children’s ward of the hospital because they would be staying for at least a few days. Aelin barely left Elsie’s bedside, and quickly fell back into the habit of barely sleeping. There was a reclining armchair for her to sleep in, a consideration made for those parents that would be staying with their children. But the constant beeping and noise of the hospital kept her awake, as did the anxiety over her daughter’s welfare. It didn’t help that every time Aelin started to drift off she was graced with dreams of Elsie screaming, or crying, or vomiting. She would startle awake, unsure of what was reality and what wasn’t, only to find Elsie sleeping soundly. 

Aelin’s mother arrived around lunchtime on their first full day in the hospital, and it was only then that she managed to get a solid amount of sleep knowing that someone else had eyes on Elsie. She was unfortunately woken up about an hour later by a nurse coming in and doing another check. The consensus was that Elsie wasn’t declining, but she still needed to stay in for observation. 

Evalin went out for food, which Aelin only picked at until visiting hours were over. Elsie’s condition had kind of plateaued instead of getting better. Everyone kept saying at least she wasn’t getting worse. What ate away at Aelin was that maybe she hadn’t done enough, that she hadn’t seen the signs earlier and acted too late. Maybe all this could have been avoided if she had been more vigilant. Aelin had been hanging by a thread so she hadn’t noticed how serious Elsie’s condition was. To punish herself further Aelin had googled the what ifs in those hours that she couldn’t sleep and was berating herself for letting it get this far to begin with. 

Another night in the hospital was spent watching Elsie as she slept, sometimes fitfully in between medications. They gave her doses to keep her comfortable but it couldn’t take all her ailments away. The tiny girl still woke up in distress, crying from pain or discomfort from the IV, or coughing and waking up in an unfamiliar bed. Aelin was doing everything she could to make sure Elsie was comfortable and content. But it wasn’t enough. 

A new day started and Aelin was still staring at her daughter, cataloguing everything. Her breathing was easier, but it still shuddered every once and a while. There was a slight decline in the frequency of the coughing fits and blessedly they deemed that Elsie was eating enough that she was unhooked from the IV, temporarily at least. 

Evalin was their visitor today and had taken it upon herself to fill everyone in with the updates, using the group chat on Aelin’s phone. Lorcan was checking in incessantly, because guilt was riding him too. Unbeknown to everyone Korbin had RSV, and yes, it was the consensus that was where the sickness had come from. Elide and Lorcan had kept him home instead of coming to dinner that night, but it seemed that Lorcan had been the one to pass it on to Elsie. He felt awful and had sent Aelin numerous apologies, he even went as far as calling which was all but unheard of from him. Aelin told him it wasn’t his fault, reciting the statistics of how common infections were this time of year. It was winter, it was cold, people got sick.

All her friends were rallying to Aelin’s side, offering any and every kind of help they could—mainly in the offering of food to keep the visitors down in the hospital room. Her mother was in charge of crowd control, Evalin was a pro at managing people and telling them when to do things. That was probably the reason why the next guest arrived.

“Hey,” Fenrys said softly from the doorway. 

Aelin nearly jumped despite the non-startling care he had taken. “Hey, Fen.”

“I’ve got some snacks,” he said, holding up a bag as he walked into the room. “How’s she doing?”

Aelin looked back at Elsie, who was sleeping. “She’s doing okay. Getting better.”

“That’s good,” Fenrys said. 

Fenrys drifted over to where Evalin sat by the window, passing over the food and chatting quietly. Aelin didn’t bother to try and decipher what was being said, the beeping of Elsie’s monitor was too loud. As were the thoughts tumbling around in her head. 

“Go home, Aelin,” Evalin said, snapping Aelin out of her trance. “She’s okay, I’ll be right here.”

“I can’t,” Aelin replied. 

“You can,” Evalin’s voice was a little firmer. “Have a shower, get some clean clothes. I won’t leave her side, I promise.”

Aelin looked up to her mother’s face, seeing the honesty there. If she promised not to leave Elsie’s side, Aelin believed her. It would be hard but Aelin knew it was the right thing to do. She’d been in these clothes for two days and she hadn’t done more than wash her face. 

“I’ll drive you, come on,” Fenrys offered. 

Fenrys dropping by with food had truly been divine intervention or very purposeful planning. Aelin supposed it might be the latter. She might have been able to take her mother’s car, but she wasn’t too confident in her driving right now. With Elsie sleeping and Aelin didn’t want to wake her but she couldn't leave without pressing the softest of kisses to her daughter’s head. 

On the way out to the car Aelin stopped by the nurse’s station just to let them know what was happening and that she would be back as soon as they could. They nodded along and promised to ring if anything occurred while she was out. When they undoubtedly saw the colour drain from Aelin’s face they told her nothing would, because Elsie was doing fine. It still left Aelin’s stomach in a tight knot. 

Fenrys led her out to his car and opened the door for her. Aelin fingers drummed on her thigh as she waited for him to get in. The quicker they left, the quicker she could get back. The usually talkative man was silent on the drive back to her apartment and Aelin wasn’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse. She didn’t have the energy for conversation but the silence also left her alone with her thoughts. They swirled inside her mind, building and inflating into what felt like a treacherous storm.

“Want me to come up?” Fenrys offered as he yanked on the handbrake.

“Um,” Aelin's brain was foggy. “If you want?”

Fenrys looked at her for a moment and then made his decision. “I’ll come up.

As soon as they were out of the car Aelin had her keys in her hand, ready and waiting to get her to her apartment. Then it was just the habitual ride up the elevator and walk down the hallway. 

Being inside her apartment had Aelin relaxing, even if it was just by the smallest amount. She wanted a shower, maybe some food, but then she found she couldn’t move from where she stood in front of her couch. Aelin’s tumultuous emotions were winning, try as she might she couldn’t hold them at bay any longer. She wrapped her arms around her body as the last defence of keeping herself together. It failed and a sob tore out of her before she could stop or flee to where no one could see her long held in breakdown.

“Aelin,” Fenrys said tentatively. She didn’t answer, she just cried harder. 

Fenrys was moving closer and a little voice in the back of Aelin’s head told her to stop crying, wipe her face and smile. But she was tired and sad, her daughter was sick in the hospital and it was all her fault.

“Hey, come here.” 

Arms that weren’t hers wrapped around her and Aelin was pressed against a hard chest. She let it happen, accepting the small gesture of comfort. Tears soaked Fenrys’ shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind, he just kept holding her until she was the one to call it. Aelin was embarrassed at how long it took her to calm down, and even then she couldn’t stop tears from gathering and falling down her cheeks. 

“I’m okay, Fen,” Aelin murmured, not pulling away just yet though. “Sorry about your shirt.”

“I don’t mind,” Fenrys said. “You wanna talk about it?”

“I—” the words were choked on a sob. “This is my fault.”

“What? No.” Fenrys pulled back enough so that he could look down at her. “This is not your fault.”

Those words meant nothing, guilt and despair was all consuming. “It is. Because I am not enough for her. I let it go too far, I should have taken her to the doctor or the hospital sooner, but I was just so tired and I have no idea what I’m doing. Elsie is suffering because I am not enough. I am supposed to be everything that she needs and I failed her.”

“No, Aelin. You know that’s not true,” Fenrys said.

“It is. I should have seen the signs but—”

“Aelin, please listen to me,” Fenrys actually pushed Aelin back so that she could look her in the eyes. She couldn’t hold the eye contact, she turned away, eyes closing and squeezing more tears from her eyes. “Kids get sick, and you were everything Elsie needed. There is no doubt in my mind that you sacrificed just about all of yourself for her benefit. That was enough for her, but shit happens, things that are out of your control. That is what happened. Not you.”

Aelin exhaled, her body shuddering as she tried to wrangle some control over her emotions. She risked a glance at Fenrys’ face. This man was known for his perpetual joking and troublemaking, seeing him so serious was odd but comforting.

“You are more than enough for Elsie,” he said. “You always will be. We’re all here for you, the both of you, but you are all she needs.”

“How did I mess up so badly then?” Aelin’s tears fell with a new fervour. 

“Because you’re new to this and you did do the best that you could. And when you had to, you asked for help,” Fenrys told her. “And RSV is so common, it’s something that they say is only a matter of time.”

“How do you know that?” Aelin asked, dabbing her nose on her sleeve as she finally felt brave enough to step away. 

“I did my research once your mum let us all know,” Fenrys replied. “She’s awesome by the way, real cool lady.”

“I’ll have to tell her you said that, she’ll be flattered.” Aelin felt a bit lighter. 

“What makes you think I haven’t told her myself?” Fenrys said cheekily. That made Aelin laugh and he tapped a knuckle in her chin. “There we go.”

“That’s gross, Fen. Who knew it would take you hypothetically flirting with my mother to break me,” Aelin's voice was shaky with laughter and withheld tears. 

“Had to get you to listen to me somehow,” Fenrys said with a genuine smile. 

“Um, watch TV or whatever,” Aelin waved at the couch. “I shouldn’t be too long.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

That question threatened to trigger a new wave of tears. Aelin had always been too independent for her own good, the last few days had proven that. So not wanting to set off another round she declined and all but fled to the bathroom and showered. It felt amazing and she was more than refreshed when she stepped out onto the mat and grabbed her towel. It was then she noticed that the vomit covered clothes had been removed. Someone had been in and tidied up, and instead of feeling embarrassed she just felt gratitude. 

Dressed and ready to go, Aelin did a quick check of her phone to see if there were any messages. Just one, from her mother, letting her know Elsie had woken up but was content. Aelin knew that would only be for the time being she would have to get back as soon as she could to prevent a monster meltdown. She also noticed that it was mid afternoon on a Tuesday—time and space had no relevance in the hospital. 

Fenrys was sitting on her lounge and Aelin shot him the question her phone had triggered. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“Nope,” Fenrys said, not looking over right away. Like he needed a moment to form his single word answer.

“But, it’s a work day. Don’t tell me you took it off for me.” If he had… it was just something else that she would beat herself up over. 

Fenrys now doubt sensed her rising panic as it was broadcasted across the room because he said without hesitation, “I quit. Finally.”

Aelin remembered something about a game company seeking him out, but as far as she knew he had stuck with Stone City. “You what?”

Slapping his hands on his things once, he stood from the couch. “Come on, let’s get you back before your mum eats all the good snacks.”

There was something more going on here, Aelin could feel it. But she definitely lacked the tact to get it out in the right way. So she just nodded and grabbed what she needed. They stayed silent until they got to the elevator, right up to when Aelin started to fidget again. Fenrys hip checked her, making her smile. 

“Remember what I said, okay?”

Aelin turned so that she could face him, finding him looking quite serious but still with that underlying playfulness which she decided to take advantage of. “What exactly? You say a lot and most of it is straight bullshit.”

Fenrys raised his eyebrows at her, like that was the most preposterous thing he’d ever heard her say. But then made a show of contemplating the words, making Aelin smile.

“You may be mostly right,” he conceded. “But you are everything and more to Elsie. You will always be enough, don’t forget that.”

Those words were said with such sincerity that Aelin felt her frayed emotions rise up again. She nodded and then turned away before the tears could fall. Fenrys, being the decent guy that he was, pretended not to notice. Damn him and his unfailing charm because despite herself, Aelin might just be starting to believe him. 

~~~~~

It had been an uneventful few days at work. The company was in their post Yulemas lull, giving all the employees a slight breather. All their clients had blown out their budgets in the lead up to the biggest commercial season of the year and were now recuperating and re-evaluating their next steps. So, all Rowan had to do was maintain contact and scope out new clients, wooing them through stories of successes from the past few months. 

The wider office outside his door was fairly quiet as Rowan read the company email that went out everyday. It was full of information he already knew, most of which he had some hand in as part of his managerial role. Skimming it, Rowan assumed there was nothing he needed to take note of. 

And then he almost missed a memo, it was so short and brief and he’d been intent only glancing over the words. But Rowan’s eyes caught on a familiar name and that was enough to give him pause and to give it the time of day. His eyes went a bit wider and he even went as far as checking his phone like the answer would appear. It didn’t, all he had were email notifications from clients. 

Rowan sat back in his chair, reading over the memo again. Fenrys had left Stone City Advertising. There was no explanation, just a short note that he was leaving that was meant to notify everyone else that there was no point in contacting him. Rowan didn’t know why, but none of his friends had said a thing about it. That unsettled him, and it also made Rowan question why he wasn’t notified as part of his role as manager. He picked up his phone ready to send a text off to Lorcan to ask him about the sudden departure when there was a knock on his office door.

It was Dresenda, a new hire. Maeve’s assistants usually had a two year job life span before they started to look for employment elsewhere. Rowan liked his job well enough but he would never want that job. “Hey, Rowan. Maeve just got in and she wants to see you.”

“Thanks,” Rowan said, standing and slipping his phone back into his pocket. 

Maeve had been over in Terrasen, wooing a high profile client and from how long she was gone, it seemed like some sight seeing as well. It would be bitterly cold there this time of year. The end of January into February was when winter sunk its claws in. Snow would cover the city for days, maybe weeks if they were lucky. In Doranelle the weather was milder all year round, snow was a rare sight here. Rowan loved the cold, it had made Terrasen feel like home in a way—like that climate was made for him. All things considered it certainly didn’t feel that way anymore. 

It was irrelevant, he was here—his life was here. His affection for the cold wouldn’t be enough to draw him back. Roman wasn’t sure there was anything that would lure him back to that city that had so painstakingly thrown him out.

~~~~~

Rowan should have been working. Not technically, but there were things he needed to do. It was a Thursday evening and he’d only left work half an hour later than everyone else with the plans to go home and finish off a few things before he went to bed. And he had opened his laptop and left it by the chair he planned to eat in… but then he’d got distracted. Rowan had made his dinner then had every intention of reading over some reports when he very randomly opened a website for one of the local department stores and was now scrolling through pages of children’s toys. 

He didn’t know much about kids but he knew that they liked toys. His company had developed more than enough advertisements to appeal to the younger audiences to know that it was a very lucrative business to be in. What Rowan hadn’t been prepared for was the sheer amount of variety. 

Dolls, building blocks, miniature kitchens, unicorns, plush toys. The list went on. His mother had mentioned that Elspeth’s birthday was coming up soon, and an idea had taken root. In his quest to get to know his daughter better he had the idea that he might buy her something. To him sounded dangerously close to bribery, but he was willing to try anything. 

Rowan was cleaning up after his fairly late dinner when there was a hurried knocking on his door. He shook his hands off over the sink and then snatched the tea towel from where it hung on the over handle to dry his hands. The knocking came again, this time more urgently. Curiosity had him moving a little faster, wondering who was insistently trying to disturb his evening. 

This time the knocking was short, sharp and hard. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Rowan muttered. 

He swung the door open and the sight in front of him made his heart skip a beat. Aelin stood there, Elspeth cradled in her arms. The child didn’t look good, her skin was pale and her body seemed to be shuddering. 

“She’s sick,” Aelin said, stating the obvious. 

For a moment Rowan just stood there, trying to process. Then his brain kicked into gear, along with a healthy dose of panic. “What’s wrong?”

“I just need you to drive us to the hospital,” Aelin said, ignoring his question. “Please.”

“Yeah, of course,” Rowan wouldn’t press the issue—not when he could see the urgency of the request. “Just one minute.”

The door swung when it was released but didn’t close but Aelin didn’t bother with entering his apartment. All Rowan did was grab his wallet and keys and then found them waiting in the hallway. Elspeth’s head was now resting on her mother’s shoulder and Aelin swayed in place. There was a bag hanging off Aelin’s arm and taking that small burden was the first thing Rowan did.

Aelin rushed off to the elevator and Rowan followed. He kept a cautious eye on Elspeth, feeling useless as they waited. What he was trying to comprehend was that Aelin had come to him for help. It must have been a real emergency then if she wasn’t going to wait around for someone else. Or maybe, Rowan selfishly thought, this was progress.

The elevator finally arrived and Aelin stepped in, Rowan right behind her hitting the button for the garage. Elspeth coughed and then let out a whimpering cry. It was an awful sound, something in his chest twisted because of it. 

“My keys are in the small pocket, we’ll take my car,” Aelin said, nodding at the bag Rowan held. 

He found the keys, holding them in his hand so he was ready. Rowan wanted more information but he knew this wasn’t the time or place to ask, he would just have to silently manage his building concern. And even though he was being useful, he still felt a little helpless struggling with the unknown. He would drive them to the hospital and then what? What would happen to Elspeth when they got there? Would it just be a short stay or would it be longer? Would Aelin want him to wait? What could he realistically do to help in this situation when they got to the hospital? Rowan could feel the tension in his body building with each new question. 

It wasn’t much longer until they were at the car. Rowan left Aelin to get Elspeth sorted and he dropped into the driver’s seat. His long legs were bent uncomfortably and he pushed the seats back. This brought him back to years ago when he would drive Aelin’s car. He always copped it afterwards if he didn’t put it back to the original position. 

“I know, baby I know,” Aelin murmured as she strapped Elspeth into her car seat while she protested. “I know you don’t want to go but we need to make you feel better.”

Rowan monitored the progress in the rearview mirror. When Aelin sat back and clicked her seatbelt into the buckle he started driving. 

Elspeth whimpered and complained, and he saw her reaching for her mother. Aelin lent over and kissed that little hand and gave Elspeth and her own to hold onto. “You’re okay, Elsie. I know it hurts, but we can make it better. 

Rowan was tempted once again to seek some explanation over what had Elspeth so distressed, but it seemed he didn’t have to. 

“She’s okay,” Aelin said, no doubt noting how Rowan couldn’t stop checking the rearview mirror. “I would have taken her to the doctor but it’s after house and the quickest and easiest way to get her seen is take to the hospital. It’s just a bit of a cold but they hit her pretty hard and I just want to get some things checked.”

“Poor thing.” Rowan couldn’t think of anything else to say. 

“We manage.” 

Those words were clipped and a little defensive and they had no need to be. Rowan wouldn’t come for her over this. Gods, seeing Elspeth so miserable and in obvious pain… Aelin was doing the best that she could. And it would have taken a lot for her to knock on his door for help. It stung a little that she would still assume he would think so negatively about her in that way. 

It was ten minutes more before they reached the hospital and Rowan dropped them as close to the doors as he could. Aelin hadn’t said anything besides thanks before she left so Rowan wasn’t sure what he should do. Maybe he’d just wait in the car, but when he parked he saw the bag that Aelin had been left behind. 

Rowan ended up in the waiting room, the bag keeping him company on the seat beside him. Neither Aelin or Elspeth were in sight, and he was glad that they were seen so quickly. To kill time he mindlessly scrolled through his phone, his mind too muddled to do anything productive. The bag next to him was all the prodding he needed to approach the reception desk and get whatever information they would give him. 

“Excuse me, I was wondering if I could get an update on Elspeth Galthynius?” Rowan asked. 

The woman at the desk gave him a polite smile and then clicked a few things. “She’s been moved to the children’s ward.”

“Her mother left a bag with me, am I right to take it through?” He held up the bag as evidence. 

“No problem, go through.”

“Thanks,” Rowan said and then followed the signage to the children’s ward. 

He was stopped again at those doors and he gave the same story and was let through without much fuss. They had also given him a room number so he kept an eye out for the right one. The door was open and he found Aelin sitting next to Elspeth’s bed, watching her daughter. There was a monitor bandaged to Elspeth’s hand and he noted there was an oxygen apparatus next to the bed that wasn’t being used. Besides that Rowan couldn’t decipher anything about her condition because Elspeth was asleep. Rowan could immediately tell that Aelin was less stressed and that was reassuring. She didn’t look ready to fight the nearest threat anymore, her shoulders were looser, the lines of her face more relaxed. He knocked and then stepped into the room. 

“Hey, I just wanted to see if there was anything else you needed,” Rowan said, handing over the bag.

“Oh,” Aelin looked and sounded exhausted. “Um, no we’re okay.”

“Alright,” Rowan still hesitated. “Is anyone else coming? I can leave your car here and get myself back.” 

“Shit, I didn’t even think of that. Take my car, Fen should be here soon,” Aelin replied, rubbing at her face. “Thank you, again.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Rowan moved closer so he could lower his voice. “What’s wrong?”

Aelin rubbed her hands on her thighs and swallowed hard. “When Elsie was just about four months old she got RSV, it’s a respiratory infection. Since then she’s been more susceptible to reinfection or getting a bad cough when she gets sick. She also has something a little off about the structure of the inside of her ears, so whenever she gets sick we usually get ear aches as well. Just… Overall she gets infections easier so I always want to make sure they get seen and diagnosed right away.”

Elspeth being this unwell explained why she had fallen asleep so suddenly on him the other day. 

“Do they happen often? The earaches?” Rowan asked and Aelin nodded. “I had ear problems too, the eustachian tubes, Right?”

Aelin swallowed again, eyes darting from him to Elsie. “I didn’t know that.”

Rowan took a chance and sat down on the chair next to Aelin, feeling less awkward and imposing. “I used to get horrible earaches, so bad that I still remember them vividly. But I eventually grew out of them.”

Aelin just nodded, eyes fixed on a spot on the floor. They were quiet for a while and then Aelin laughed stiffly. It left Rowan a bit surprised and he didn’t know what he was supposed to respond with. 

“It hurts so much to see her in pain and there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s a sickening kind of helplessness,” Aelin explained. “I try… but it never seems good enough. She wanders off and licks the glass at work or something, or we go to the library and some random kid coughs on her.”

That comment made Rowan huff a small laugh, and to his surprise his response made Aelin lips quirk in a fraction of a smile. But it fell away too quickly and when Aelin looked to where Elspeth slept Rowan could see the unshed tears in her eyes. 

“Last time you saw me I lost her and then there was her almost taking a solo ride in the elevator,” Aelin said. “I don’t know what it is but you seem to keep witnessing my worst mothering moments. I just—”

Aelin broke. Her breath caught and Rowan recognised her tell tale efforts she was dedicating to stop herself from crying. It stunned Rowan for a moment and he was about to tell her that these supposed failings didn’t affect his opinion of her as a mother, but he didn’t get the chance. From what he had seen, Aelin was a dedicated mother, this evening had been proof of that. Right now she was practically shaking—he could see the tremors in her hand from where it rested on the arm of the plastic chair. 

He wasn’t sure what made him do it but he reached and took Aelin’s hand, squeezing it just a little bit. 

“You’re doing great,” Rowan said, hoping she could understand how genuine he was. 

Aelin looked from his hand to his face, reading his open sincerity. She swallowed, and she withdrew her hand to stop tears from rolling down her cheeks. Rowan was searching for something else to say when there was a knock on the door. Aelin’s head jerked towards the door, Rowan looking away from her to send his eyes in the same direction. A pretty doctor stood in the doorway, probably around Aelin’s age, her hazel eyes darting between him and Aelin. 

“Dad, I assume?” she said. 

“No,” Aelin said quickly. “I mean, yes. But no. Gods,” she muttered.

Rowan’s gut twisted at hearing that awful and hurried explanation. He didn’t dare contend it.

“Can we talk outside? I don’t want to wake her.” Aelin stood and was halfway to the door when she stopped. “Is this… you all right with this?”

Meaning being left alone with Elspeth. 

Without hesitation Rowan gave his answer. “No worries, I’ll sit with her.”

An expression filled with mixed emotions appeared on Aelin’s face and then she followed the doctor out the door. Rowan was left alone in the room with Elspeth. It was quiet except for the quiet hum of the machines and Elspeth’s sharp intake of breath every once and a while. She was still asleep, laying on her stomach, her hand with the monitor attached resting beside her head. Her skin was still pale, but there was a rosy flush on her chubby cheeks. Every once and a while she took in a deep breath and it jerked her whole body, making Rowan start every time. He had never seen her this still, she was usually so energetic and it gave him the opportunity to study her. 

She looked so much like Aelin. He could still recall the photos of her as a child that he had seen and Elspeth was like a mini double. But Rowan was also starting to see himself in her too. His mother had been right, the way her brow furrowed was like him and maybe there was something in the shape of her face that was like him. And there were her green eyes, of course. 

Those eyes that opened now, lost and hazy for a moment before they focused on the unfamiliar room and what was weighing down her hand. Elspeth’s face fell, tears quickly gathering.

Rowan was out of his chair in an instant, panicking with the need to calm her down. “Hey, there sweetheart. It’s okay.” 

That did nothing and tears ran down her cheeks as she raised her head up, no doubt looking for her mother. 

“Hey, Elsie, it’s okay,” Rowan said, crouching beside the bed. He realised a moment later that was one of the few times he had said her name. But it seemed to get her attention. “Mum’s just outside, she’ll be right back.”

”Mama,” Elspeth just about squeaked. 

“Yeah, she’s talking to the doctor, she’s still here,” Rowan assured her. 

“Hurts, Rowan.” She remembered him and was saying his name a little better. Elspeth pulled on her ear. “Hurts here.”

So carefully, he pulled her hand away from her ear so that she didn’t irritate it more. “I know, sweetheart.”

Elspeth held onto his thumb, not even trying to go back to her ear. Her hand was so godsdamned tiny compared to his. She didn’t say anything, but did start to cry harder.

”Hey, hey,” Rowan tried to soothe, scrambling for something. “How about a lullaby, one from when I was small?”

She didn’t give a verbal response, just watched him with expectant and wide eyes. Rowan cleared his throat and then started singing. 

Beautiful Dreamer, wake unto me,

Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee

Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,

Lull'd by the moonlight have all passed away

Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song,

List while I woo thee with soft melody

Gone are the cares of life's busy throng

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me

Beautiful dreamer, out on the sea,

Mermaids are chanting the wild Lorelei

Over the stream let vapours are borne,

Waiting to fade at the bright coming morn.

Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart,

E'en as the morn on the stream let and sea;

Then will all clouds of sorrow depart,

Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me

Rowan stopped singing and it seemed to have worked. Elspeth breathed a little faster and her eyes fluttered, but she was relaxed and happy. The smile she gave only reached half her mouth with her cheek squished on the mattress. Regardless, it was sweet enough to make Rowan’s chest tighten. It was beautiful in a heartbreaking way. She tried her hardest to keep her eyes open but they stayed close, and just like that she was asleep again. For longer than he should have, Rowan let Elspeth hold onto him, not wanting to lose the small weight of her hand just yet. It was only when he was sure she was soundly asleep and that moving away wouldn’t wake her, he did so. A little regretfully because he had been more than happy to offer her that small comfort as long as she needed it. He sat back in his chair and just waited. 

Aelin came back into the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. “How’d she go?”

”She woke up for a second but then she settled,” Rowan said, some of that awkwardness from before still lingering. 

“Thank you,” Aelin said. 

Rowan couldn’t help the slight smile that tilted his lips, remembering  Elspeth’s little smile. “I was no problem, Aelin.”

“I mean for everything.” 

Rowan took in the way that Aelin stood with her arms crossed, but not with hostility. It was enough of a reprieve to prompt him to ask, “Why me?”

“You were closest,” was Aelin’s simple answer. “I might have been able to drive myself but I would be fretting. Everyone else is on the other side of the city right now and I don’t like to wait, not when it comes to her.”

”I would never have turned you down,” Rowan said. He almost added I hope you know that but Aelin answered before he could. 

But he didn’t need to. “I know that.”

They fell into silence again, slightly awkward, but when weren’t things awkward between them these days? At least they’d expended most of their anger. Aelin shaking her head drew Rowan’s attention, and there was nothing he could think to say. Then he heard hurried footsteps and then the door opened. Fenrys stepped into the room, concern written all over his face. 

“How’s she doing?” Fenrys asked, all his focus on Aelin and Elsie. Rowan wouldn’t have been surprised if his presence was going completely unnoticed. 

“She’s okay,” Aelin said, as Fenrys met her at the foot of the small bed. “It’s her ears again.”

Immediately Fenrys wrapped an arm around Aelin, and it was over her head that Rowan was finally noticed. Fenrys’ dark eyes went a bit wide, but there was no other reaction besides that. Rowan shifted his attention back to Elspeth who was still soundly asleep thanks to his singing. Aelin and Fenrys were conversing quietly and it was apparent that he was no longer needed, so he’d excuse himself and leave. 

“I’ll head back,” he said. “Hope she feels better soon.”

”Thank you, Rowan,” Aelin said again. 

In response Rowan nodded, and with one last look at Elsie, he left. He didn’t get far before he heard his name being called. Turning, Rowan saw Fenrys walking towards him. It gave Rowan a chance to take the other man in—he looked dishevelled, his curls were messy and there was almost a frantic air about him. He must have raced from wherever he’d been, likely getting caught in traffic. 

“Hey,” Fenrys said when he got close enough. “Thanks for bringing them here.”

This was the first civil interaction since the park and, like now, they had been in public. But this time there was no impactful audience here in the hospital hallway. Nothing about what Fenrys was doing right was performative, that much was very clear. 

“Don’t mention it,” Rowan said. “Even if that was the least I could do, I was happy to do it.”

“I know.” Fenrys extended his hand. “I mean it. Thank you.”

This was strange for Rowan. Once upon a time he would have been Aelin’s knight in shining armour, now that role was taken by someone else. Fenrys’ affection for both Aelin and Elspeth was genuine, there was no doubt about that. And Rowan saw the hand shake for the peace offering it was. This was an offer for burying the hatchet once and for all, prompted on by gratitude. 

Rowan had nothing to lose here, and everything to gain. Holding onto this grudge when he didn’t even have the full story of how things ended up the way they had was going to keep him from his goal. Rowan’s priority was Elspeth, any animosity that remained would only cause more damage to everything he was working so hard to build. More than that, seeing the way it had unfolded tonight, how many times had Fenrys been the one to step up when no one else would?

His daughter had benefited from that care and attention. That was the bitter truth of it, because Rowan was not there himself. 

Rowan shook Fenrys’ hand. “It’s all good, Fen.”

Some of that tension lifted from Fenrys’ face, and a soft smile appeared instead as he glanced back to the hospital room. “I’ll let you go.”

”Look after them,” Rowan said and left before he got any kind of reply. 

It was clearer than anything now, Elspeth—and Aelin— had everything they needed. And it wasn’t just a ride home for the hospital. If Rowan left tomorrow, the impact he would leave on Elspeth’s life would be next to nothing. She would go on and forget he existed. That didn’t sit well with Rowan. His daughter didn’t need him but Rowan was beginning to wonder if he was the one that needed her.  

~~~~~

Rowan left and Aelin felt like she could breathe again. She had been thankful for the way he hadn’t even hesitated to get them to the hospital, but there was still so much tension when he was around. 

“I’ll be back in a sec.”

Fenrys left, dropping a kiss on the top of Aelin’s head. She didn’t know what he had to say to Rowan and she was too tired to try and eavesdrop. It didn’t feel like her place to monitor their every interaction, not like it had before. All the volatile feelings that led to adverse reactions seemed to have worked themselves out. That was good, one less thing for her to worry about.

Her boyfriend wasn’t gone too long, and he ended up leading them over to one of the chairs, pulling Aelin down to sit in his lap. She’d been stuck in a trance watching Elsie breathe and hadn’t realised how close her legs were to giving out until they started moving. Aelin leaned into Fenrys, letting the closeness of his body and his steady heartbeat relax her. She dropped down a bit more so she could rest with her feet on the other chair.

“What happened?” Fenrys asked softly. 

Taking in a deep breath Aelin explained everything. Elsie had been rundown for a few days, Fenrys had known that, he’d even been the one to point it out when he picked them up from the shopping mall the other day. It had started with a runny nose, then a cough, then this evening Elsie’s temperature had spiked and the earaches had started. Aelin knew what would happen next, the symptoms would escalate and so would Elsie’s distress. When her daughter was sick she would wind herself so much that it would exacerbate her cough, then she’d vomit and then it would go down from there. At the hospital they could put her on oxygen and give her pain relief, minimising the risk of dehydration and worse.

“Elsie was close to vomiting and I couldn't get her to keep the medicine in her mouth,” Aelin explained. “I weighed my options and Rowan was the best of them.”

”It was good of him to bring you two down,” Fenrys said. “I thanked him for it.”

”I did too,” Aelin said, then she laced her fingers with Fenrys’ and snuggled into his side. “So, it turns out that Elsie’s ear problems were inherited. From him.”

Fenrys huffed out a breath. “Guess that they have more in common than that frown, huh?”

“Mhmm,” Aelin hummed. Then she was silent for a long time, considering if she should say what she was thinking, knowing Fenrys would rally to assuage her doubts. But she couldn’t leave it, not when old insecurities raised their ugly head. “Do you think she might have suffered less if I had of known?”

Just as she knew he would, Fenrys wasn’t hearing a bar of it. “Chances are she would have had the same problems no matter what. Maybe we might have cottoned onto the cause a bit earlier, but don’t beat yourself up about it. Elsie is fine, she always is and always will be as long as you’re her mother.”

Aelin tilted her face up while Fenrys looked down at her. Her boyfriend was full of shit and she was about to tell him so when he stopped down and kissed her. “Don’t start. I’ll always win. I have years of evidence to counter every argument.”

“Fen,” Aelin said, her throat getting tight. “You’re too good to me.”

He kissed her again. “Maybe.”

There was a soft groan from the bed and Elsie stirred, her free hand rubbing at her eyes and she panicked for a moment while she tried to work out where she was. Aelin was instantly moving, sitting on the edge of the bed and smoothing a hand over Elsie’s hair. 

“Hey, I’m here. We’re at the hospital, remember?” 

“Where Rowan?” Elsie asked, raising her head up a bit, but that seemed to disturb her ear which she started pulling at.

Aelin gently pulled that hand away. “He went home.”

Her daughter looked visibly upset by that. “He sung me my song, Mama.”

“He…” it took Aelin a moment to figure it out. The lullaby she had stolen from him. “That was nice of him.”

“He’s my friend,” Elsie said with full confidence, as much as she could be in her sickly state. 

Aelin didn’t know how to take that little bit of news, little did Elsie know that biologically he was much more than that. 

“Uncle Fen!” She said when she saw who was seated behind her mother.

Fenrys gave the girl a smile full of adoration. “Hey there, Pumpkin. Not feeling good?”

Elsie shook her head. “Ears, uncle Fen.”

”We should get rid of them,” Fenrys said, making Elsie gasp.

”No.” she drew out the word, her voice hoarse. 

“I’ll do mine to match.”

Elsie laughed and Aelin smiled along with her. But then her daughter’s demeanour changed to something more serious.

”Home, Mama?”

Aelin shook her head. “Tomorrow, my love.”

Elsie frowned in response, Aelin hated to see her upset.

”Can I come up there and give you a hug?” She asked. 

Elsie nodded enthusiastically, and Aelin cradled her in her arms, rocking back and forth gently. Then she started humming the lullaby again, knowing that it would calm Elsie down immediately. Because Aelin had been singing it for years, ever since that first hospital visit. That lullaby had been one thing she could rely on to soothe her fussy child. While Aelin hummed her way through the tune she tried not to think about the unexpected and lasting effects the father of her child seemed to be having in not just her and Elsie’s lives, but what it might mean for him now as well. 

~~~~~

I have no faith in the tagging system at the moment, for better notifications please follow @works-of-shyvioletcat

[sjmships]

🤍

[tswaney17]

Pregnant Elriel on Solstice featuring their adopted son, Kaden. ❄🎄✨

This idea came to life based off my Oh Baby AU. While this is a different version of the AU, we couldn’t help but think of the possibilities of Elain and Azriel building a family together, whether that is through conception, adoption, or anything in between.

We are so excited to bring this idea to life, and there wasn’t anybody else who could’ve made this artwork as gorgeous as it is than luxury_banshee. She was incredible to work with and her style never disappoints. The moment she showed us the first glimpse, we all fell in love. Thank you, lovely, for this stunning piece. It’s better than imagined! 💕❄️🎄

Do Not Repost

🎨 luxury_banhsee (IG) | Comm by: me, @123moiaussi, @silverlinedeyes, mtolypuslibrary (IG), zannareads (IG), and Liv

Characters belong to Sarah J. Maas

[thewraithsofmorhogg]

Noisy Neighbors Masterlist

‣A Rowaelin Band AU.   ‣Noisy Neighbors Playlist 

A multi-chaptered story containing the slowest of burns, tons of angst and pining, an atrocious amount of swearing, and a friends to lovers story. More notably, the story also contains: explicit sex scenes, drug and alcohol use, substance abuse, depictions of depression and anxiety, and relationships with abusive undertones.

Main Story

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 . 18 . 19 . 20 . 21 . 22 . 23 . 24 . 25 . 26 . 27 . 28 . 29 . 30 . 31 . 32 . 33 . 34 . 35 . 36 . 37 . 38 . 39 . 40 . 41 . 42 . 43 . 44 . 45 . 46 . 47 . 48 . 49 . 50 . 51 . 52 . 53 . 54 . 55 . 56 . 57 . 58 . 59 . 60 . 61 . 62 . 63 . 64 . 65 . 66 . 67 . 68 . 69 . 70 . 71 . 72 . 73 . 74 . 75 . 76 . 77 . 78 . 79 . 80 . 81 . 82 . 83 . 84 . 85 .

The entire series is also on AO3.

Rowan’s POV

1 . 24 . 25 (ish) . 27 . 37 . 42.5 . 46ish . 48.5 . 49.5 . 51.5 .

Headcanons

The Cadre’s First Tour 

The Time Jump (Btw. Ch. 21 - 22)

Extra/Deleted Scenes 

The Audition, RPOV*

Meeting the Band*

Spilled Coffee 

The Cooking Channel (Ch. 34) 

An NN Yuletide (Ch. 50ish)

* Designates Prequel Stories

Other Pairing Drabbles

Just Breathe (Lysaedion)

A Dumbass (Elorcan)

Artwork

Aelin by @sassyhobbits​

Rowan and the Gold Guitar by @empress-ofbloodshed​

Lorcan at the EMAs by @nikislost

Aelin and Thea’s Selfie by @artbycharlizeed

Noisy Neighbors Playlists 

Main Playlist 

Rowan’s Playlist 

The Cadre Playlist 

Aelin’s Albums

No Shame Album (1) Playlist 

Fireheart (2) Album Playlist 

Dear Society Album (3) Playlist 

Spin-off

The Archerons - An ACOTAR/Feysand fic that takes place in the same “universe” as Noisy Neighbors. Feyre and Rhys are famous actors on a hit TV show.

[tswaney17]

I Do Bad Things with You - Part 42

Happy @elainappreciationweek! 🌸 My contribution for the Lovers Day prompt is an update to this beast. Hope you enjoy! 💕

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​​​

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💕

Catch up here.

Credit to @featherymalignancy for Cassian’s nickname, Cash. 😘

Trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault , language, NSFW

Word Count: 7,229

Azriel was dreading going back to work tomorrow. Frankly, the time he had off, spending his honeymoon with his wife, was the best three and a half weeks he’d ever experienced.

The places they saw, the food they ate. It was all indescribable.

Not to mention he got to fuck her all over the world until she was a limp, sated mess. His favorite escapade was when Elain rode him under the northern lights, her golden-brown hair alight with colors. Her pale skin shimmered in blues and greens and purples.

She only allowed herself to ride him once while they stayed in the Winter District. Their dome-like cabin retained the cold and it turned out that Elain was always freezing. Even while they had sex, she could only remain above the sheets for about ten minutes before she started to shiver.

He didn’t mind, spending a great deal of time covering her body with his own, keeping her warm as best as he could, though he’d be lying if her blue lips didn’t cause him to worry. They never seemed to regain the pink color until they were in the Spring District to visit their massive gardens.

Now all he wanted to do was spend every waking moment with her.

“What’s got your face all frowny?” Elain asked, leaning a hip on the door frame of his office. “Don’t tell me you’re working already. You still have,” she glanced at her watch, diamond rings catching the sunshine from his floor-to-ceiling windows, “another seventeen hours before we’re back on the clock.” Her lips pulled up into a teasing smile.

“Not working. Just catching up on a few of the other things. I didn’t touch any of the messages I was sent during our honeymoon and there’s quite a few to go over and respond to.” Meaning, he didn’t look at anything regarding his half-brother’s movements or the details Ruhn had pulled for him. He’d been content to just enjoy the time they had together and didn’t want to let anything take away from that.

She seemed to understand his underlying meaning, stepping further into the room. “Anything I should be made aware of?”

He shook his head. “Nothing that stands out, but I’m going to catch up with Ruhn in an hour to go over some details.”

Elain closed the distance between them, coming to perch on his lap. She ran her fingers through the hair at his nape, scratching the back of his scalp with her nails.

Az slung his arm around her waist, holding her close. “Why don’t we go to dinner tonight? I’ll make us a reservation at one of the nice restaurants in the downtown area. Let’s celebrate the last night of our honeymoon before we go back to our normal routines.”

She leaned in, kissing him softly. “I’d like that. I’m going to miss having you like this. Seeing you at every moment of the day.” Elain nuzzled into his neck, breathing in his chilled mist and cedar scent. “Thank you for taking me on the most epic honeymoon, Az. I love you so much.”

His large hand cradled the back of her head, tucking her under his chin. “We will have many more adventures, love. But I’m happy you enjoyed our honeymoon. I wanted to do everything your heart desired.”

“Well, you succeeded. Even if I did almost lose my toes,” she laughed, voice twinkling.

He pressed his chuckle into the side of her head, kissing her temple. Gods, he loved his wife.

An hour later, Azriel was sitting at the bar of his club, waiting for Ruhn. It wasn’t open yet, so he decided to just meet him there. Lorcan was standing outside waiting for his guest while Elide was behind the counter, prepping for the evening.

He felt his presence join him without even having to turn his head. “Drink?” Azriel asked him.

“Sure. Whatever you’re having,” Ruhn said, sliding onto the barstool.

“Elide,” Az waved down his employee. “Same for him,” he indicated with a raise of his glass.

She was quick to move, pouring a knuckle’s worth of whiskey into a glass and sliding it on the counter. “I’ll be in the back if you need me,” she said, stepping through the door to offer them privacy.

Ruhn picked up the glass and clinked it on his. “Congratulations, man. Happy for you and Elain.”

Azriel dipped his head in thanks. “What’s the entail?”

The other man took a sip of his drink. “Frankie told Elias to stand down.”

Hazel eyes widened in shock. “He what?”

“You heard me. He told Elias to stand down and not make a move against you or Elain.”

His heart pounded in his chest. This—it wasn’t right. Frankie had leverage against him. His brother had been looking for a way past his defenses and when he finally had it, he was just going to let it go. It didn’t make sense. “Why?”

Ruhn shrugged. “If there’s any reason, they’re keeping it tight-lipped. I would say nobody other than Nick would have any idea why Frankie isn’t pursuing this.”

Azriel took a swig of his whiskey, letting the burn coat his throat. He needed to feel something other than the anxiety rolling in his gut. “And what about Elias? How’s he taking the order?”

His informant snorted into his glass, swallowing the golden liquid. “As well as you’d expect. He’s furious. Was shoved down the ranks and now even Nick won’t speak with him. Word on the street is that he’s been trying to rally some low-level kids out of Frankie’s mob.”

He stared at Ruhn dumbfounded. “He really thinks he’ll be able to pull from Frankie? Frankie? The guy is even more ruthless than I am.” It took an effort not to glance down at the scars that adorned his hands. “Any kid that steps out is as good as dead.” Once you were in his brother’s clutches, the only way out was by death.

Az never collected kids. Refused to let any of his associates broach them. But Frankie had boys as young as twelve doing low-level work. Running drugs and cash. Making drop-offs on their bikes. If they were good at what they did, they’d be smuggling guns at fourteen. Sixteen the latest.

And if they weren’t good at it, well, let’s just say the Sidra River was notorious for being a good body disposal method. Most of the time, when somebody was dumped, they weren’t found, but every once in a while, he’d hear about a fifteen-year-old turning up dead in the river.

“Let’s hope that those kids know it,” Ruhn murmured, slinging back the rest of his drink. “I’ll keep my ears down for anything else.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a thin, wrapped box, sliding it across the bar over to him. “For you and the Misses.”

Azriel blinked at the black-wrapped package. “What is it?”

The other man just grinned. “Matching pocket daggers. I had your names engraved on them. I thought that with everything going on, it might be wise for Elain to have something on her for protection.”

His lips quirked up in the corner. “That was very thoughtful of you. Thank you, Ruhn.”

Ruhn nodded, sliding off the barstool and making his way out of the club.

Az thumbed the black package, grinning to himself at the idea of handing Elain the present to carry around in her purse. He was already mentally preparing himself for her hesitation with the weapon.

He was pulling out his wallet when Elide slipped in from the back.

“Everything okay, sir?”

“Yeah, we’re good, thanks Elide,” he said, dropping a large bill on the counter.

Her dark brows furrowed. “You know you own this place, right? You don’t actually have to pay for your drinks.”

He chuckled, returning his wallet to his pocket. “It’s not for the drinks. It’s for you. For being on top of serving us and giving us space. I appreciate having good employees.”

“Azriel…” she started, but he held up a hand.

“Just take it, Elide. You deserve it.” He headed toward the door, calling, “I’ll send Lorcan back in. Have a good night.”

Tugging his phone out of his pocket, he dialed Velaris au Château—the French restaurant Az wanted to take Elain to that night. “Pierre, it’s Azriel Knight.”

“Mr. Knight,” the man on the other line said, his French accent heavy. “What can I do for you?”

“I need a table for my wife and me tonight. Is your private room available?” he asked, climbing into the car.

~~~

Azriel was tying his midnight tie when Elain slipped out of their closet in a blush-colored chiffon gown. It framed her slightly tanned skin perfectly, matching the color that he loved to see on her cheeks. His fingers paused on the fabric, looking her up and down. He breathed heavily. “El, my stunning wife. You look gorgeous.”

That pretty blush crept along the high arches of her cheeks as she smiled up at him. “Thank you, husband.” She crossed the room, taking the tie from his hands. “Let me.” Quick as a flash, she had it knotted and was securing it up to his neck. “Perfect. You look very handsome, Az.”

He dropped a kiss to the tip of her nose, making her scrunch it up in the cute way she always did. “I have something for you,” he told her, pulling the wrapped box from his pocket. Az handed her the present from Ruhn.

Elain’s brows raised. “What’s this for?” she asked, carefully unwrapping it.

“It’s from my informant, Ruhn.” She glanced up at him then, confusion etched into her face. “It’s a wedding gift.”

“Oh,” she said surprised, looking back down at the box. Elain flipped the lid, a small gasp escaping her parted lips. “Oh, wow.” Her finger skimmed the smooth handle. “They’re beautiful.”

Az gently plucked the one with her name engraved on it from the box and held it between them. “He thought that you should have something on you for protection.” Flicking open the blade, Azriel showed her how to maneuver the small weapon.

Her dainty fingers closed around the knife handle. “Please tell him thank you for this the next time you see him.”

Now it was his turn to raise a brow. “You’re not hesitant about carrying this?”

She shook her head, golden brown hair swishing over her shoulders. “No, I’m not actually. I think it’s a good thing to have on me. Just in case.”

Cupping the side of her face, Azriel brought her in for a slow, sweet kiss. “I love you, my sweet.”

Elain sighed into his mouth, melting into his embrace.

Taking his knife from the box, he slid it into his pocket before reaching for her hand to lace their fingers together. “Come on. We’ll be late for dinner.”

The couple arrived at the restaurant and got seated in the private room that had a large window overlooking the glittering Sidra River. Azriel ordered a bottle of champagne and translated the menu for Elain.

“I didn’t know you could speak and read French,” she murmured after their orders were taken.

He took a sip from his flute of champagne, smiling behind the glass. “I speak a lot of languages.”

Her lips curved up at the corner. “Perhaps you should take advantage of that later tonight.”

Az chuckled, leaning back in his seat. “Are you looking forward to tomorrow? Being back at work?”

Elain breathed in deeply, considering her words. “Yes…and no. Am I looking forward to getting back into my routine, checking in with patients, and performing surgeries? Yes, of course. I love my job, and I love the people I work with too.” She reached across the table to take his hand. “But I’m going to miss this. All this time together we’ve shared, just the two of us. I loved spending every waking moment with you for the last three weeks.”

He tightened his grip on her fingers. “I did too. Frankly, I don’t want it to end.”

She smiled at him, the one she reserved only for him. It was this soft, upturn of her lips, brown eyes sparkling. He loved that smile.

Elain took a swig of her champagne. “Do you feel different?”

Azriel cocked his head to the side. “Different how?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know, just different. Like something’s changed, I suppose.”

“Well, something did change,” he grinned, making her laugh.

“I know that. I’m talking about something else.” She shifted back in her seat. “I can’t explain it—I can feel it in my gut that something has changed. I just don’t know what.”

He was going to ask her to elaborate, but the door opened, revealing their waitress with their dinner. Az watched her eyes widen at the gorgeous dish set in front of her, and then in front of him.

She pointed to her plate, glancing up at their waitress. “Is the flower edible?”

He chuckled. “Everything on your plate is edible, love.”

“What he said,” the woman grinned. “Anything else I can get for you?”

Azriel shook his head. “No, we’re good, thank you.”

The woman dipped her head, excusing herself and leaving them to their meal. He watched his wife cut into her plate, forking the beef.

“Wow,” Elain moaned after her first bite. “This is delicious.”

“Yeah?” Az smiled. “Are we going to have to make this one a regular, too?”

She laughed, sipping her drink. “Most likely. How many other restaurants do you have up your sleeve?”

He winked at her, tilting his glass in her direction. “A few.”

Elain popped another bite into her mouth, humming in contemplation. “We may have to visit those other places, just to see how they compare.”

“Noted,” he teased, cutting into his food.

They chatted about anything and everything while they ate. Their favorite places they visited, what they were looking forward to and were dreading the most in their return to normalcy.

Sipping on the last of their champagne as they waited for her dessert—crème brûlée. It was one of Elain’s favorites and he would stop at nothing to give her all of her heart’s desires.

When the door opened and it wasn’t their waitress who stepped in with their dessert, Azriel went rigid—his heart thumping with fear.

Because that was Nicklaus, setting the plate with the ceramic bowl in front of his wife.

Elain immediately noted his tension, her dark eyes flicking between the man who had entered and himself. She had never met or seen his biological brothers before. Wouldn’t know who exactly had joined them.

“Aren’t you going to try it?” his brother grinned down at her. “It’s specially made by the chef just for you.”

She didn’t touch the spoon, instead pushing the plate away from her. “I’m actually not hungry anymore.”

Good girl.

He knew she had no idea what was going on, but he was eternally grateful that Elain could read the room.

Nick’s mouth turned up at the corner. “Azriel, aren’t you going to introduce me?” he asked, not bothering to look in his direction. No, his eyes remained on his wife and Az did not like her receiving that attention at all. Not when it came from someone as deadly as Nicklaus.

She met his gaze and read the minuscule change in his expression telling her to move. Elain slipped from her seat, using the table to provide a barrier between her and Nick, and perched herself onto his lap, an arm wrapping around his neck.

His brother never lost that self-satisfied smirk, simply claiming Elain’s now vacated seat.

“What do you want, Nicklaus?” he all but growled.

Elain tensed on his lap, finally putting a name to a face.

Nick leaned sideways, pulling a gun from the back of his pants, and placed it on the table, facing them.

His wife went rigid, breathing harshly through her parted lips. He could sense her fear, practically taste it on his tongue. Azriel slid his large, scarred palm up her body until it lay directly on her chest, over her heart.

Not a second later, he felt Elain’s hand cover his own.

He casually gripped her hand in his other one, bringing it up to kiss her knuckles, and replaced it on her lap.

She turned her face a fraction, shooting him a questioning look.

Az would sacrifice his life for her if it came down to it. Any twitch from his brother and he’d cover her, his hand his last resort to protecting her most vital organ. But like fuck was he going to let a bullet ruin her career by shattering her hand. He couldn’t explain it to her, not right then so he subtly shook his head instead, urging her to listen to him.  

Nick reached forward, sliding Elain’s crème brûlée toward him. He cracked the sugar-crusted top with a spoon, taking a mouthful. “This place makes the best dessert.” He winked at them, at her. “Shame you’re too full to enjoy this.” 

“Nick,” Azriel snapped. “What the fuck do you want?”

He picked up Elain’s napkin, wiping the corner of his mouth. “Do you know how difficult it is to see you, to meet with you?”

“You could make an appointment like everyone else,” Elain muttered.

Az gripped her hip.

But Nick’s smile grew, looking closely at his wife.

Too closely for his taste. Azriel ran a possessive hand over her curves, lips descending upon the exposed skin of her neck. He never took his eyes off his brother, not even as he kissed her.

“Pardon me, sweetheart. But men are talking.”

Elain’s head cocked to the side at the tone—the dismissal. There wasn’t anything Azriel could do to stop her from lurching out of his lap, snatching his steak knife from the table, and slamming it between Nick’s spread fingers.

Az grabbed her around the waist, hauling her back onto his lap as she snarled, “Pardon me, but his wife doesn’t take well to being talked down to.”

His brother was quick to mask his stunned expression, though he didn’t reach for the gun still sitting on the table. A low chuckle escaped Nick’s chest, plucking the knife from the table. “Well, I have to admit it Azriel, you didn’t pick a meek one like I thought you might. One who kept quiet and hid when things got rough.” He twirled the blade in his fingers before setting it back on the table.

“Frankly,” he started, “I really just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.” Nick sipped from Elain’s flute of champagne. “You’ve caused quite a stir, Elain. Everyone is talking about the Velaris Mob’s new queen. We even had someone approach us with information about you two—”

“Yes, we know all about Elias Hewn’s movements,” Az snipped.

His brother chuckled. “He was rather thirsty for vengeance, brother. You managed to piss off your only ally. Rather poor decisions if you ask me.”

“Elias was a useless ally; something I think you’re well aware of or you wouldn’t have sent him to your lower ranks.” At Nick’s surprised face, he smirked. “Yes, you’re not the only one who knows things, brother.”

Nicklaus’s jaw feathered. “Careful, Azriel, in how you speak to me when I’m holding the gun.”

“I think it is you, who should be careful, Nicklaus. You come in here, interrupt my dinner with my wife, speak to her in such a manner, and think you can threaten me?” He moved so quickly, that Elain barely jostled on his lap, slamming his weapon on the table. “You and I both know who will get the draw first.” His scarred fingers laid on top of the grip, the metal singing under his touch to be used. To kill his horrid brother now.

But Azriel also knew that by doing so, he’d start a bloody war with Frankie. No matter that both of them deserved to be dropped to the bottom of the Sidra, he had to think about the safety of the woman still sitting on his lap. Because the last thing he wanted was to drag Elain into the middle of fucking bloodbath.

He watched Nick take in his words; knew he was correct in his assumption about who’d get the first shot off. Azriel’s reputation was built on the fact that he never missed his mark. And like hell would he miss when it came to his brothers.

Elain didn’t dare move, her body tensed and primed under his grip.

Nick looked between them. “It appears we have nothing left to discuss.”

Azriel didn’t bother to deign him with a response.

Sensing the conversation was over, Nick rose from his chair, grabbed his gun, and slipped it back into his waistband. Az didn’t dare remove his finger from his trigger.

He stopped halfway to the door, turning to look back at them. “I’ll give Frankie your greetings.”

“Tell Frankie,” Az growled, “that if either you or he come waving your guns around my wife again, your life is forfeited.” He watched the warning take in the twitch of Nick’s brow; the slight curl of his lip. But he left without another word and Azriel wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing or not.

~~~~~

Elain hadn’t felt fear like that since she was kidnapped by Hybern. The icy dread that had swept over her body left her skin cold and her heart racing. She knew when Nicklaus had entered, they were in some sort of trouble—Azriel’s rigidness told her that whoever had joined them was a threat to him. To her.

And then she found out it was his biological brother. The one who watched as Alec and Francisco burned his hands.

His beautiful, perfect, strong hands.

She wanted to kill him. Elain wanted Azriel to put a bullet in him.

But she also knew that doing so would open up a brutal and deadly war between the Velaris Mob and the Illyrian one. So, she took the knife from the table and stabbed it between his fingers. Both for speaking to her in such a manner and for the abuse he inflicted and allowed her husband to endure as a child. She had never felt vengeance like what she wanted to unleash on the man sitting across the table from her, eating her crème brûlée…drinking her champagne.

The audacity.

When he left, she released a breath she wasn’t even aware she had been holding, sucking in air as if she had been drowning. Her emotions took over: tears running like rivers down her face, body shaking. Elain buried her face into Azriel’s neck, taking his rich chilled mist and cedar scent deep into her lungs.

Or what she could get during her gasps.

His arms slid around her form, holding her close to him, but not close enough.

No, she needed to feel him. Needed to make sure he was here with her; that they were safe. “Az,” she cried out, fingers moving down his broad torso to fumble with his belt buckle. “I need you. Please, I need you.”

Those golden eyes churned with fear and comfort and wrath, the green fissures swirling in the warm depths. It was such a mix of emotions she read there. But he seemed to grasp what she needed from him.

Elain saw that same need reciprocated by him.

“I’m here, love,” he murmured into her hair, lips pressing to her skull. “I’m here.” Hefting her off his lap, he set her on the edge of the table, rising from his seat to stand between her spread thighs.

There would be no foreplay in this. Not at this time. The desire to be as close as their bodies allowed was too great to tease and touch. This would be raw, animalistic fucking.

He placed a hand on her shoulder, gently pushing her down to lie on her back, legs dangling off the edge.

Elain’s arms went wild, searching for something to grab, and in their haste, sent dishes and drinkware flying.

The shattering glass didn’t stop Azriel from sucking a mark into the smooth, creamy skin of her neck. A purple bruise blossomed under his machinations. His large palms slid her dress skirts up her thighs to her waist, revealing the white lace.

A few quick moves had her bare, her panties tucked into the pocket of his dress pants. His belt buckle clinking made her body shudder in anticipation.

“Hard and fast, baby,” he muttered into her throat before sheathing himself to the hilt.

Elain threw her head back, fingers grasping the cloth and edge of the table. “Fuck,” she moaned.

Azriel didn’t give her a second to adjust, pulling his hips out and slamming back in. He set a vicious pace, balls slapping against her.

Her legs wrapped around his trim waist, urging to fuck into her deeper. She let go of the table, clutching him at his shoulder and around the back of his neck. It forced more of his weight on top of her, but that’s exactly what she needed.

He pressed into her harder like he couldn’t bear any part of them not touching.

She needed everything from him. Everything he gave her and more. Elain felt her toes curl in anticipation of that glorious, blissful drop into her pleasure. “I’m so close,” she cried out.

Az’s mouth traveled down her body, sliding fabric out of the way to suck a pert nipple between his lips.

Up, up, up, she climbed, delirious in the friction of his strong body against her clit, the relentless pounding into her.

Trapped in their bubble, neither of them heard the door open until Ruhn voiced an “Oh.”

Azriel released her breast, twisting his head to snarl at the intruder. “Get out!” The door clicked shut softly as he looked back down at her, took in her little gasping breaths, the way her chest heaved, and said, “My neck, Elain,” he groaned. “Bite my neck. Mark me as you come.”

She surged up, ripping his tie loose. Shoving the collar of his shirt aside, she clamped her teeth at the junction where his neck and shoulder, and came hard. Her moans were muffled against his skin, body spasming around his cock.

He grunted, thrusting into her to ride out her orgasm as he chased his own. A hard suck from her lips had him cresting, strokes becoming sloppy until he slammed home one last time and stilled, spilling himself inside of her.

His pants fanned over the skin of her neck, lips pressing light kisses to the underneath side of her jaw.

Elain released him from her teeth, carding her fingers through his damp hair. “Ruhn saw us fucking,” she murmured, humor dancing in her tone.

He huffed out a laugh. “Better him than traumatizing our poor waitress.”

She had to agree, even though they were caught at all. Holy fucking shit! She just had sex with Azriel in a public space where anyone could’ve walked in on them. The door wasn’t even locked, for fucks sake! They had had sex in some pretty open places before, but Az had always made sure they had their privacy either by a locked door or enclosed in their own space.

The thrill from the risk of being caught just added to the fire burning inside of her.

Az kissed the corner of her mouth, her cheek, her forehead, anywhere he could as he pulled out of her. “Hang tight,” he whispered, tucking himself back into his pants.

To be honest, Elain was too exhausted to move. The adrenaline from their earlier visitor had faded. She lay, sprawled out on the table, still trying to catch her breath. What she didn’t expect was for Azriel’s tongue to delve between her thighs. “Azriel!” she squealed, lurching up into a sitting position to glare at him. “What do you think you’re doing?”

Those amber eyes glowed with mischief. “Cleaning you up, now relax.”

She mumbled something about how that did the opposite of cleaning her up, but after a few more swipes with his tongue, he placed a kiss on her clit and rose back to his feet.

His glistening mouth had her muttering, “Insatiable,” under her breath.

“Always for you,” he grinned, dropping a kiss on her plump lips before helping her off the table and fixing her dress.

“Azriel,” she chastised.

“Elain,” he shot back.

She rolled her eyes. “Azriel, my underwear. It’s still stuffed in your pocket.”

“Your point?”

Oh, this wicked man. “You expect me to go commando,” she demanded incredulously.

Az opened his wallet and dropped what looked like eight, hundred-dollar bills onto the table. “It wouldn’t be the first time,” he said, shoving the leather into his back pocket with a little smirk.

He kissed her cheek, took her hand, and tugged her to the door.

She grumbled the whole way there but stopped when she saw Ruhn leaning against the wall opposite of them, a smirk toying on his lips. Her entire face lit up like a flame, a red color splotching her chest.

“Good evening, Sir,” Ruhn said, then nodded at her, “Mrs. Archeron-Knight.”

Elain acknowledged him with a dip of her chin, before stepping slightly behind Azriel in embarrassment.

“To what do we owe the pleasure?” her husband asked, voice carefully neutral.

It didn’t escape her that Az bypassed stating his name out loud completely.

“I received notice that you were going to be receiving a visitor tonight and I wanted to check in when you didn’t answer my call.”

“I keep my phone on silent when I’m with my wife. But, yes, we got an unexpected visitor tonight.”

Ruhn pushed himself off the wall, stepping closer to them. “What did he want?”

Azriel shrugged. “To make a statement, I suppose. He didn’t really tell me anything I didn’t already know. I think he just wanted to try and get a rise out of me. And get close to Elain.” He tugged her hand, bringing her to his side, and wrapped an arm around her waist. “Where were you?”

The other man slid his hands into his pockets. “I was following Elias. He had a few of the lower ranks with him.”

She didn’t like the way Az’s brows furrowed.

“What’s he up to?”

Ruhn shrugged. “I can’t figure it out. But I doubt it’s any good. I’m just waiting for word to get up there that he’s snagged a few younglings.”  

“How young are they?” Elain asked before she could think better of it.

Those dark blue eyes looked at her. “Early twenties, thankfully. I was concerned he’d go after the teens.”

Her brows raised. “He has teens in his crew?” she questioned, keeping her voice low.

Azriel’s thumb swiped over her knuckles. “Unfortunately. I’ve refused them that young but my brother thinks kids are expendable.”

Elain couldn’t stop the shiver, feeling her stomach churn with nausea. She had always sought the good in people; believed people could be redeemed with the right motivation. But she was beginning to think that neither Frankie nor Nicklaus had any redemption qualities in their souls.

“We’ll figure it out,” Az said, though she wasn’t sure if it was more for himself than the rest of them.

And that was concerning for her.

~~~

It had been just over two weeks since she returned from her honeymoon and she was going through the motions.

As the resident attending, she had quite a bit to take care of upon her return, and she had been on top of it. But now…she felt like she was underwater and couldn’t focus.

Which was not a good thing considering she was assisting Thesan with a complicated surgery, giving the new residents the ins and outs. It was a long procedure, having spent nine hours in the operating room already.

Elain’s head was dizzy, vision blackening at the edges. She knew she should’ve taken a break when Thesan asked her—he must’ve been able to see the exhaustion on her face. But she wouldn’t let herself be coddled, even if nobody knew the reason why she was so tired.

However, when her eyes fogged over completely, Elain knew she had fucked up in not taking advantage of the break she was offered. “Take the forceps,” she told the resident working across from her.

Stunned, the young female did what she said, just before Elain’s eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed onto the floor of the operating room.

~~~

When consciousness tugged at her mind, the first thing Elain realized was that everything ached. Her head, her hips, her legs. Her body felt unnaturally weak, and she knew it was because she hadn’t eaten enough that day. Fuck, she was so damn tired. She blinked a few times, adjusting to the harsh, fluorescent lighting.

“Elain,” came a relieved voice.

She twisted her head to the other side, finding Viviane sitting on the edge of her hospital bed. Too many emotions flashed across her friend’s face to be able to decipher, though worry was at the forefront of the list.

“Oh, thank god,” she breathed, placing her pale hand on Elain’s covered thigh. “You’ve been out for almost half an hour.”

Groaning, she sat up in bed. “What happened?” she asked, wincing as her head spun dizzyingly.

Viviane stood up, arms crossing in a way that told her she was about to get a scolding.

Oh, shit…

“You collapsed, Elain. In the middle of surgery! You’re very lucky one of your residents was standing behind you and caught you before your head hit the ground.” Briefly, she wondered which resident it was, but saved that question for later. Not when she saw the nurse’s face soften, knowingly. “Ellie,” she started in a hushed whisper, “did you know you were pregnant?”

For a moment, it seemed like the world paused as it waited for her answer; as Viv waited. Yes—yes, she knew she was pregnant. Had known since Monday and was still trying to wrap her head around it. Finally, she sighed, unable to meet her friend’s gaze, and looked down at her tangled fingers in her lap. “I know,” she whispered.

It was the first time she had admitted it to herself out loud and she felt the weight of that secret lift off her chest.

There was a pregnant pause before Viviane asked, “Does Azriel know?”

They’d only been married for almost two months and Elain had already fucked up. How she managed to not realize her birth control shot that was scheduled the week of her wedding was already the last week in the timeline she had to get it was beyond her. So, when she came in for her postponed appointment on Monday, having rescheduled it a second time like an idiot and realizing how late she was in getting the dosage, she had to get a pregnancy test.

The shock she felt that day still hadn’t completely worn off.

She shook her head, finally answering her friend. “No, I haven’t told him yet.” Truthfully, she was scared to. Not because she thought he’d react badly, but because they’d never even remotely toed the line about whether they wanted to have kids, and frankly, she was concerned he didn’t.

Elain whipped her head to look back up at the head nurse, eyes wide with fear. “Viv, I need you to keep this between us. I’m not ready for everyone to know yet and I still haven’t even talked to Az about it yet.”

Her friend pursed her lips. “Well, you might want to figure out how to tell him soon.”

Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “You didn’t call him, did you?” At Viv’s silence, she pushed, “Viviane, please tell me you did not call my husband.”

“What did you want me to do, Elain?” she snapped. “You collapsed in surgery! Thesan was worried sick! Of course, we’re going to call your hus—”

“Where is my wife?” came that deep, panicked voice that Elain knew all too well.

“In—in there, sir.”

Footsteps sounded and then he appeared, all six-foot-four, still stressed to the nines of him. The worry on his face made her chest ache. “Elain,” he breathed, rushing around Viv who stepped out of his way and to her side. He cupped her face between his palms, kissing her gently on the forehead before taking a seat on her bed. “Love,” he murmured in such a heartbreaking manner that she nearly burst into tears. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“I’ll, uh, I’ll give you two a minute,” Viviane said quietly, closing the door behind her as she left.

Azriel let his thumb skim across her cheek. “What’s going on?”

She tugged her head from her hands, feeling like she couldn’t bear to let him touch her while she harbored this secret from him. Even though she knew it was time, her gut churned with anxiety. “I’m fine. They really shouldn’t have called you.”

His brow furrowed in confusion and hurt at her distancing herself. “Elain, you collapsed in surgery. And you’ve been acting odd for the last few days.” He paused, looking at her closing. His gaze felt like a brand on her skin. “I was hoping you would talk to me without me having to ask, but now I’m asking.”

The pain in his voice nearly made her flinch. She looked down at her hands, taking a slow, steady breath. “I’m pregnant,” she whispered so lowly, that Elain wasn’t even sure he could hear it. They sat in the silence of her confession until she finally dared to look at his face.

His eyes were searching her, mouth slightly parted in what she could only describe as shock.

“Say something, please.”

He swallowed, throat working with the movement. “I’m trying to determine if you’re happy about this or not…” the uncertainty clear in his voice. “Elain, do you want to have a baby?”

Her throat ached and there was nothing she could do to stop the tears that rolled down her cheeks. “Do you?” she asked pathetically as she sniffed.

Az gapped at her. “Is that what this is about? You think I don’t want to have this baby?”

She wiped under her nose with the back of her hand. “I know it’s early for us; I mean, we’ve only been married for a month and a half…And I know you didn’t have the best childhood. I just—” she sniffed again. “I just wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to have kids.”

Azriel moved then, sitting further up on her bed so he could pull her into his chest. His large hand threaded through her hair to cradle the back of her head and tipped it up towards him. He pressed his lips against her forehead. “I’ll admit the timing could be better, that I wanted to share a bit more with you before we had a family. But I would be honored if you had my children, Elain.” His hands slid to cup her face again, thumbs brushing away her tears.

“You’ve never mentioned kids before,” she said, needing to understand why they had never had this conversation until now.

He smiled sheepishly. “To be honest, I was waiting for you to bring it up. I didn’t want you to feel pressured into having kids. I know how hard you’ve worked for your career, El, and I’m so proud of you…I didn’t want you to think I was asking you to stop.”

Elain huffed an exasperated laugh, feeling utterly ridiculous about the whole situation. Having a family had seemed like a distant dream after what Gray—her ex had done to her. “I feel really silly for not bringing this up before we got married,” she said, earning a small chuckle from him. “You really want to have a baby?”

His lips curled up in the corner. “Elain, I don’t think you can comprehend the gravity of my desire to get you pregnant. To have you carry my child. To see you waddling around like a cute duck—”

“I don’t waddle,” she huffed.

Azriel’s smile was like a bright, shining beacon of hope and beauty. “You will.” He paused, seeming to collect his thoughts. “That is if you want to have this baby too. I will support any decision you make; you know that.”

She let out a breath of relief because the truth of the matter was that she did want this baby. Elain wanted nothing more than to have his child. “I’m scared,” she admitted. It wasn’t a lie. Though she was excited for this next chapter with him, there were a few things that worried her, as many expecting mothers go through.

He kissed her sweetly as if he thought she might break beneath his fingertips. “I am too,” he told her. “But we’ll figure it out. Like we always do.”

Her arms went around his neck as she clung to him. When she pulled away, his hand drifted down to her still-flat belly. There was an awe in his eyes that made her chest ache with love.

“Hi baby,” he whispered, leaning down towards her stomach. “I’m your daddy.” His soft kiss on her tummy had her damn hormones in overdrive.

She let out a strangled sound that had Azriel looking back at her face with worry. But Elain just tugged him into her arms and let his embrace soothe her. “Sorry—I just wasn’t expecting that,” she offered as an explanation.

His fingers brushed stray tears from her cheeks. “You don’t need to apologize, love. I know this is going to be an adjustment, but I don’t have a single doubt in my mind that we can do this…If you want to, that is.”

Elain realized she hadn’t answered his question before, and he needed to hear her say the words. Though it was clear he wanted this baby, he was still letting her make the decision. And for that, she somehow managed to fall in love with him even more. “I want to be a family,” she said, watching the way the hope in his amber eyes shone like golden rays of sunshine. “You, me,” she told him, bringing her hand up to cradle her stomach. “And this baby.”

The relief she read on his face made every doubt, every fear evaporate. Because he was right, there wasn’t anything they couldn’t do together.

He kissed her again, once, twice, three times. “We’re going to have a baby,” he whispered against her lips.

Elain let out an airy giggle. “I’m so happy, Azriel. You have made me so happy.”

His fingers stroked her cheek; brushed her loose hair behind her ear. “You’ve made me happier than I could ever dream of. I am so incredibly lucky to call you my wife and the mother of my children.”

“I love you, my husband,” she breathed, lips closing the distance between them.

“I love you more, my wife,” he said back, the words tattooing on the very essence of her soul as they embarked on a new path in their lives together.

~~~~~

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A/N: Look what's back! Think I'll just say PROGRESS and leave it at that.

~ Made of Ashes Masterlist ~

~~~~~

The fourth trimester was a valid title given to the months that followed birthing a child. Nine months of pregnancy was just the beginning, once the baby was on the outside it was like entering a whole new world. Through the steep learning curve and every life altering change, Aelin had made it. Elsie was officially three months and ten days old and as happy as could be. She had smiles for everyone, especially her mother, and the most darling laugh that was infectious. Sleeping through the night was rare and the sheer amount of nappies was ridiculous, but that was all part of the job. As far as Aelin could tell, her daughter was perfect and she knew she was incredibly biassed. She was allowed to be, it came with being a mother. Life with a newborn hadn’t been easy but there wasn’t anything in the world Aelin would trade her daughter for. 

Right now they were sitting by the couch, Elsie in her bouncer and Aelin sitting cross legged in front of her. Elsie cooed at her mother, her eyes wide as she watched whatever was going on to keep her entertained. Which was currently reading a book, the tenth changeup in however many minutes. Aelin held the book in front of her, giving her best animation to the words despite how tired she was, but it did no good. Elsie was too distracted to pay attention to the book, preferring to watch her mother instead. 

“You aren’t even listening, are you? How am I supposed to instil you with a love of reading when you’re just obsessed with me?” Aelin put the book down and tickled Elsie's sides.

She giggled, the sound so sweet Aelin’s cheeks hurt from how hard it made her smile. Eyes that were most definitely leaning towards green watched her every move. When the murky blue of Elsie's newborn eyes had started to lighten and shift towards emeralds rather than sapphires, Aelin had been in denial for a long time. She was adamant that there was still time, the colour could still change—and technically it still could. But it looked like no matter what they would be a shade of green in one way or the other. It wasn’t such a bad thing, it would never be held as a flaw.

“Now you wait here, I have to check on the mousse,” Aelin said, tapping her daughter’s nose. “It is from a packet but with you keeping me up half the night our friends can’t really ask for more.”

She went to the fridge where the mousse was setting in individual glasses. The Lochan’s were on their way over for dinner and she was providing dessert. They were bringing the main course as per Elide’s insistence. Taking out one of the glasses Aelin poked a skewer right into the middle. Pleased with the progress she licked the end clean as her phone started buzzing in her pocket. She pulled it out, the caller ID telling her it was Lorcan who was trying to reach her. 

Aelin answered, putting the phone to ear. “Let me guess, you’re running late,”

“Not exactly,” Lorcan said. “Korby is sick and Elide thought it best to keep him at home.”

“Oh, no,” Aelin cringed. Elsie was yet to get sick, but she’d seen enough of Rue and Korby being unwell to know it was a feat. “But that’s fine. I’ll see you guys another time.”

“Here’s the other thing, Elide also thought it best to bring you dinner so you can eat because we cancelled last minute,” Lorcan explained. 

Aelin stopped her pottering in readiness to give her all to this fight over the phone. “You don’t have to.”

Lorcan let out a short laugh. “I did, and before you say anything else I’m halfway to your place, so...”

“Elide,” Aelin said, withholding her own laugh.

“Elide.” If she could see Lorcan she was sure he would be nodding. “I’ll see you in about ten.”

“Yep, bye,” Aelin said and hung up. 

Elsie started announcing her displeasure at being left alone, so with hands on her hips Aelin walked back to the living room. “Did you know your Aunty Elide might be more stubborn than I am, and that’s saying something.”

The baby just grinned, legs kicking. Aelin dropped back on the floor putting on some music and holding onto Elsie’s hands to make her dance. They kept that up until there was a knock on the door. Elsie wasn’t happy about it but she let her mother go after holding on as long as she physically could. Knowing her time was limited, Aelin practically jogged over and opened the door of her apartment, revealing Lorcan waiting with a wrapped up casserole dish under his arm. She didn’t say anything, just swept her arm out in a gesture that told him he was welcome to step in whenever he was ready. 

“Pork chops and vegetables,” Lorcan said, heading for the kitchen. “About fifteen minutes in the oven should do it.”

“You didn’t have to bring anything over, we would have survived,” Aelin said, following after she flicked the door shut. “I do know how to use a phone or even cook for that matter.” 

“I know, but Elide felt so bad that she wanted to make sure you had dinner for tonight. And there should be enough leftovers for the late night hungers,” Lorcan said. 

He was referring to the phenomenon of being perpetually hungry while breastfeeding. Aelin’s pantry was currently a treasure trove of snacks that she could grab and eat when she needed to. Which was often. In fact, she might be hungry now. Lorcan left the dish on the bench and Aelin went to the pantry and chose a honey covered nut bar.

“How’s Korby?” she asked.

“He’s a mean little bastard when he’s sick, and I mean that with all the love in my heart,” Lorcan said. “And he’s such a Mama’s boy that he wants nothing to do with me.”

“Feeling a bit lonely?” Aelin teased. 

There was an impatient squeal from the living area where Elsie was reclined in her bouncer, her kicks setting it in motion. Her eyes were on the man who hadn’t even bothered to say hello, and from the cross look on her face she was very offended by it. 

“Oh I’m sorry, Elsie-girl,” Lorcan said, using the nickname that had slowly but surely settled on her. “Did I not pay you any attention?”

As Lorcan got closer Elsie’s expression changed, her fists knocking against each other as she smiled up at him. It was still so odd to see this side of Lorcan. He was so much softer with the kids, and that was to be expected with his own but the way it had extended to Elsie had taken Aelin by surprise. Lorcan scooped up Elsie, holding her close to his chest. He was such a gentle giant.

“There, is that better?” Lorcan asked her. Elsie just reached her tiny hands for his face. 

“But he’s alright, isn’t he?” Aelin called from the kitchen. 

Lorcan walked to the counter and pulled out a stool. “Yeah, he’s just expelling so much snot.”

“That’s kind of gross,” Aelin said, turning her back so she could return the kindness of dinner with the dessert in the fridge. There was a hiccup followed by a wet sound. She turned around in time to beige slime running down Lorcan’s hand.

“Your kid just vomited on me, I’d say that’s pretty gross too.”

Aelin snatched a tea towel that was hanging from the oven door and threw it to Lorcan. He caught it while keeping hold of Elsie with the vomit covered hand. Having children tended to desensitise a person to such things and Lorcan only looked very mildly repulsed as cleaned the both of them up. He left the dirty towel on the counter looking down as he pinched one of Elsie’s chubby cheeks. She chased his hand with her mouth, her hands desperately trying to coordinate to catch him. Lorcan gave in, letting Elsie hold his hand and chew on a knuckle.

“Take some of these,” Aelin said. “Or I will literally eat them all and she’ll be drinking chocolate milk.”

“Well, if that’s the case,” Lorcan added, heavy on the sarcasm.

Aelin decided that packing the mousse into a plastic container would be the easiest way to send it with Lorcan. She scooped three servings out and then licked the spoon. This would definitely be gone, and soon, it tasted too good. Maybe it would be her very early morning breakfast when she would be dragged from sleep by a hungry baby and the sugar would help wake her up. 

“You take this and I’ll take my baby so you can return to your family who is desperately missing you right now,” Aelin said, sliding the box across the bench.

“Elide maybe, not Korby,” Lorcan said while he passed the baby over. 

Once she had a good hold on her daughter Aelin picked up Elsie’s arm, making her wave. “Say bye to Uncle Lorcan.”

“Bye Elsie-girl.” Lorcan waved back.

He let himself out of the apartment, and the new silence made Aelin realise how disappointed she was that her dinner guest had to bail. Socialising as a new mother was hard. Sometimes she missed interacting with adults instead of being caught in her own little family bubble. Emrys had been more than generous with her maternity leave and she wasn’t due back to work until next month. Aelin had considered going back early just for more interaction with people. And Elsie would be coming with her anyway, so it wasn’t exactly a terrible idea. 

Aelin sighed, hefting her daughter up a little higher so that she could kiss her cheek. “Well, it’s just you and me, babe.”

~~~~~

Weddings were a family obligation Rowan could do without. He never understood how the Whitethorns could make such a thing out of every occasion. Maybe it was just the sheer number of them, and the fact that they just kept multiplying. His plethora of cousins were more than happy to make miniature versions of themselves. Many of whom were causing a ruckus as Rowan tried to make himself as inconspicuous as possible. 

It was another situation of Rowan causing more of a fuss and getting more attention if he didn’t turn up. So here he was, a chair dragged to the wall and waiting until the guests were given the okay to leave. He was more than happy for his cousin Enda who’s wedding this was. From what he could tell the man he’d chosen to spend the rest of his life with was the perfect choice for him. Rowan’s enthusiasm hadn’t been forced throughout the ceremony and toasts, but now it was time for dancing—something he was not enthusiastic about. 

He could see his parents on the dance floor, happy as could be amongst the other couples. Dateless and alone, it might only be his mother who could convince him to go out there. Rowan was just checking the time and his emails when he was abruptly interrupted. 

“Claudia, would you look at this,” Sellene, his most meddlesome of cousins, said with her daughter perched on her hip. “Remember this day because this might be the first and last time you even see cousin Rowan.”

“You’re hilarious,” Rowan replied, tucking his phone back into the inside chest pocket of his jacket.

Sellene took the seat in front of him that was still relatively associated with a table. “That sounds like you doubt my hilarity, which I find offensive.”

Rowan ignored that piece of bait and redirected. “I have met her before. Many times.”

“Yeah, but this is the time that counts because she’ll remember it,” Sellene said.

Rowan sighed and chose to humour his cousin. “Hello, Claudia. Pleased to meet you.”

He stuck out his hand for the girl to shake and to her credit she didn’t hesitate to take up the offer. “Hi. Mummy says you’re grumpy.” 

Sellene laughed and nodded, and even Rowan cracked a smile at the declaration. Claudia must have been about three now, maybe four, if he was remembering correctly. She definitely was carrying on the Whithorn genes with her silver hair and green eyes.

“But you can be grumpy and nice, are you nice Rowan?” Claudia asked.

“Well, that depends on who you ask,” Rowan replied. He could have given the little girl a long list of people who thought he was a bastard. 

Claudia tilted her head, like she was analysing him, or trying to read into his soul. Maybe she was, and maybe she found something there that wasn’t bleak and bitter because she said, “Yeah, you’re nice. Do you want to dance with me?”

“Ah,” Rowan didn’t know how to turn down a kid. What if she started crying? 

Thankfully his cousin took pity on him. “Come on Claudia, I think your dad wanted the next dance.”

Sellene shifted Claudia off her lap and stood up, taking the girl’s hand. “It was good to see you, Rowan. Until the next family gathering.”

The two of them walked away, Claudia turning to wave at him three times before they were out of sight. Rowan had waved back, it would have been rude not to after all.

Children liked him, and it was a strange phenomenon because he hadn’t really given them much thought other than the fact that he didn’t want that for his life. When Lyria had gotten pregnant all those years ago he had been entirely unprepared. They had been too young and Rowan hadn’t wanted that life for himself. It had put a wedge between them from the very moment she had told him. She had been his first serious relationship, and if things had happened differently maybe they would have married one day. Lyria might be the one next to him and not an empty chair. But the unexpected announcement had caught him by surprise and forced him to confront things he wasn’t ready for. He had just started at Stone City Advertising and his goal had been to prove himself as quickly as possible. Caring for a child hadn’t factored into that.

To distract himself from the sense of impending doom he had thrown himself into work, a habit that still lingered today. When things got hard, he just worked harder. He and Lyria had the arduous conversations, and she tried to hold them together. But when she miscarried, Rowan’s relief had just about broken her heart and they fell apart from there.

Shaking off the shadows of the past, Rowan looked out on the dance floor and saw Sellene dancing with her family. Her husband had Claudia on one arm while he spun Sellene with the other. It was a picturesque sight, something right out of a movie with how they laughed and effortlessly seemed to move so in sync with each other. It was enough to draw that dormant loneliness to the surface.

If, if, Rowan had ever decided he wanted children there was only one woman that his imagination ever entertained. As he watched the happy family he had a fleeting moment of what if. What if he and Aelin were still together, would he have changed his mind about wanting kids of his own?

Rowan shook his head, stopping those thoughts before they could gain any more clarity. He had been haunted by the past enough for one evening. There was no point in them, any future he had with Aelin was gone. What was the use of thinking of it now?  

~~~~~

A day off was meant to be at least the tiniest bit relaxing. Unless your car needed a service and your child had gone through a sudden growth spurt. That was how Aelin found herself at the mall, her car at the mechanics in the same complex and wandering around looking at clothes for a small human. It was a convenient system for her, especially when she had a little tag along. In classic toddler style, the pram was full of bags while Elsie walked. It made things slower but there was time to kill until Aelin got the call that her car was ready. Although they would have to stop for lunch soon.

Right now they were looking through racks of dresses, something in Elsie’s size for her upcoming birthday. They might not quite be the right term. Elsie was hiding in the middle of the racks, shoulders up obscured by clothes. Every once and a while Aelin split the row of dresses to keep her daughter stationary and within her immediate vicinity. If they made this into a game of peek-a-boo Aelin could keep her in *this rack instead of wandering off. 

“My goodness, Elsie just keeps disappearing,” Aelin said, keeping the game alive. The answer was a giggle. “Ah-ha! There you are.”

Aelin slid across some tulle monstrosities to see her daughter who let out a very loud squeal at being discovered. Elsie covered her face like that would hide her and Aelin went back to browsing. She pulled out two options, not particularly sold on either but she’d ask anyway. 

“Elsie, do you like these?”

Too lost in her own little world, Elsie didn’t bother to look over, choosing to babble away to herself instead. That sound had Aelin’s lips tilting into a crooked smile. The mind of a child — what her imagination must paint her surroundings into. There was nothing here that was worth the fight that came with forcing a toddler to wear something not by choice. 

Aelin managed to easily lead Elsie out by the hand. “Come on, let's go somewhere else, none of these are speaking to you or me.”

Aelin decided to try one more store, but there was still no luck. On the way out Elsie caught sight of the toy section and she was gone before Aelin could even think the word no. They spent a while wandering the aisles, no now being said more times than could be counted. Elsie was looking at toys that made far too much noise when she sneezed, a long line of snot shooting out of her nose.

“Damnit,” Aelin muttered, practically diving into her bag for a tissue. She found one a few seconds later and wiped away the mucus. It was clear, which was a good sign, but the snot situation would have to be monitored in case that led to something more. 

Elsie was not phased in the slightest, she just scrambled through the bottom basket of the pram demanding snacks. Not wanting everything thrown on the floor, Aelin picked out a packet of fruit flavoured puffs and opened them before handing them to her daughter. That was enough to indicate that it was time for lunch. 

The walk to the restaurant enclosed courtyard was slow going, and Aelin had to apologise to the other people in the elevator when Elsie pushed all the buttons, but they eventually made it to the courtyard filled with restaurants. Aelin already knew which one they’d be going to because toddlers were notorious for only choosing to eat certain things. Elsie would want noodles from the Japanese place and Aelin would get something with rice. A ping from her phone distracted her, automatically pulling it out of her pocket to check the text. It was in that split second when she took her eyes off her daughter for the smallest moment that she lost track of her. Because when Aelin looked over to where Elsie had been standing next to the pram… now she was gone. 

~~~~~

Rowan’s parents' time in Orynth was coming to an end and it was time for them to move on. That was why he found himself at an overcrowded shopping mall on a Sunday, a place he tried to avoid on the weekends if he could help it. But his mother had asked him to come along to help since they’d returned their rental car, something Rowan had no issues with. He would have offered to drive them if she hadn’t asked him first. She had promised him lunch though, even if he would make sure he would be the one paying. 

They were currently in a luggage store while his father looked for a new backpack. Rowan was idling browsing the suitcases, not really looking for something for himself, the one he brought with him was absolutely fine. Maybe just in case it busted a wheel or something, he’d have an idea of what to get next. Even then he’d be more likely to fix it himself before he spent money on something new. Rowan was not a browser, never had been. He was boring himself with his own inner ramblings.

Moving on, Rowan ended up in front of the children’s suitcases. Most of them were little hardcases that barely reached past his knees, decked out in bright colours and all kinds of characters on them. He had very little knowledge of such things and could only assume which might be princesses from popular franchises. What he did find himself considering is which one Elspeth might choose if she was here. Did she have a favourite movie? A favourite character? Maybe she was into animals rather than princesses.

“So,” Iris said, appearing next to him. “Yesterday went well, didn’t it?”

Ah, yes. The now infamous park meet up. 

“As well as it could,” Rowan replied. “It was nice to have less hostility stewing.”

They were both quiet for a moment and then his mother asked, “What will you do when we’re gone?”

Rowan had spent most of last night thinking about it. His parents, especially his mother, allowed him access to Elspeth that he couldn’t quite manage himself. It was still a challenge to break through the cool indifference Aelin had towards him. Without that advocacy into Elspeth’s life, Rowan wasn’t quite sure how he was going to manage his new resolution to prove himself.

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I guess I’ll just have to play it by ear, wait on Aelin’s whims.”

Iris made a disapproving sound. “You’ll have to stop that.”

Rowan shot his mother a look. “What?”

“The animosity, that won’t be good for Elsie,” Iris explained. 

He managed to hold in his sigh, flashes of Elspeth’s stricken face when she’d been caught in the middle of all those arguments still haunting him. “To be fair, we’ve cut down on it quite a bit because we did notice that.”

“Well, look at that. You can work together,” Iris said, the slight sarcasm carrying a healthy dose of truth. 

Rowan’s laugh was humourless, his mother still had a point. 

“Right, time for lunch?” Evander announced, his new purchase in his hand. 

“Sure,” Rowan said. “What do we feel like?”

“Not sure, why don’t we head to the food court and see what’s there,” his father said.

Although it had been a few years and there were some recent renovations, Rowan remembered his way to the courtyard that held the restaurants rather than the fast food options. 

“Any updates on what we feel like?” Rowan asked, surveying what was on offer. 

“Well, I—oh my,” Iris said, apparently stumbling forward on nothing. For a heartstopping moment Rowan was flooded with concern, until he saw his mother look down and smile. “Hello there.”

“Iris!”

Head snapping to the sound of that little voice, Rowan was more than surprised to find that his daughter had once again been conjured out of nowhere. 

“Elsie, where did you come from?” Iris asked, putting a hand on her messy curls.

Elspeth spoke quickly and Rowan managed to catch something about ‘mama’ and ‘lunch’. He looked around, and Aelin was easy to spot, hurriedly pushing a pram filled with bags towards them. 

“Hi, sorry,” she sounded a little breathless. “Gods, she’s quick. Nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“That’s what children were made for,” Evander said. 

Aelin laughed, and Rowan could have sworn it was out of nervousness and the flush on her cheeks was from embarrassment. “I swear I don’t lose her like that often.”

Iris reached out and put a hand on Aelin’s forearm. “Don’t worry about it, I lost Rowan for a solid hour when he was little.”

“You did?” Rowan asked.

His mother nodded. “Not my finest moment.”

Elspeth let her grandmother go and transferred her grip to her mother’s legs. “Noodles, Mama?”

“Sure thing.” Aelin looked at the three Whitethorns, her eyes quickly darting over Rowan. “We were about to get lunch. Have you guys eaten?”

Rowan couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. Unless he was about to be corrected Aelin had invited them all to lunch. Including him. This was miles beyond a meet up in the park. 

“We were just considering what to eat ourselves,” Iris said. “Is there anywhere you like to go in particular?”

“Yeah, Elsie loves the noodles from the Japanese place over there,” Aelin pointed behind them. “If you don’t mind.”

“Of course,” Evander said. “Whatever the Princess wants.”

Aelin laughed. “Words I live by. Come on Elsie, time for noodles.”

To everyone’s astonishment, especially his, Elspeth grabbed onto Rowan's hand and started leading the way. 

“‘Tum on, Rowan,” her pronunciation of his name was still a little off. “Noodles this way.” 

He just let it happen and tried not to think too hard about it, rather than whether or not it should be happening. Rowan didn’t know what restaurant they were going to so he walked slow enough that Elspeth kept in front of him directing him where to go. She was in another tutu today, this one with yellow with thin straps and a long t-shirt underneath. The tulle always seemed impractical to him, but he wasn’t a little girl. There had to be some underlying appeal that was beyond him. They stopped outside a tidy looking restaurant, the interior filled with dark furniture and sleek lines.

A waiter came forward and as the first one there it was up to him to sort out their seating. “Table for four, well five actually.” 

“Right this way,” the waiter said.

Rowan spent most of lunch seated at the end of the table on the padded bench observing. Aelin and Elspeth were at the other end of the table and they kept the conversation going up there. He certainly felt like an outsider, watching as Elspeth just fell into place with her grandparents. They loved her so much already, he could see it in the way they looked at her, how they were so gentle and couldn’t help but hang on every word she said. Rowan was glad he’d been brave enough to initiate this for them. When Elspeth finished her lunch she got restless and Aelin freed her from the high chair. 

His mother immediately got her attention, beckoning Elsie onto the bench seat next to her. The new seat was apparently the most amazing thing she had ever seen from the way proudly sat there by herself. Amazing, and fleeting, because the next moment she was dashing to the pram to retrieve a stuffed dog. She showed her grandparents and they fawned over it, much to Elspeth’s delight. It made Rowan smile. 

“Do you mind? I can’t hear in here,” Aelin said, holding up her phone.

Iris nodded. “Go ahead, we’ve got her.”

Aelin was gone a few moments later, phone pressed to her ear. Elspeth didn’t notice at first, too busy patting down the ears of the toy dog that had her attention. She wandered down the length of the table, softly humming to herself and mumbling nonsense to her puppy. Then she looked up and Rowan saw the moment that she realised Aelin wasn’t there. Elspeth looked devastated. 

“Mama?” she asked him.

“She’s just outside on the phone, sweetheart,” Rowan told her. “Come stand up here and you can see.”

He patted the bench seat next to him and Elspeth took his invitation. When she struggled Rowan helped her up, keeping hold of her hand as she stood. And then she lent on his shoulder too, her curls tickling his nose as she peered out the window trying to look for her mother. When she spotted her she gave an excited gasp and started waving. By some kind of motherly intuition Aelin turned, seeing Elspeth and waved back. 

Content with her mother's closeness, Elspeth went back to playing. “Puppy, Rowan. See?” 

“I do,” Rowan told her. “It’s very pretty.”

Elspeth nodded enthusiastically. “Yep, yep.”

Having her this close made something in Rowan’s chest ache. She hadn’t been quick to move after waving to her mother, and she still clung to him. It was hard not to get swept away with how adorable she was, it was hard for him to look away. When he did, he caught his mother looking at him, she was smiling but he didn’t miss the emotion in her eyes. 

Elspeth sneezed, so sudden and forcefully that Rowan actually jumped. Snot dribbled out of her nose and without a second thought he picked up a napkin to wipe it away. Face clean, she decided it was time to sit down, and she started playing with her dog right next to him. 

“How was everything?” the waiter asked, appearing again to clear away the plates. 

“Fantastic, thank you,” Rowan said. “Can we get the bill?”

As expected there was some discussion over who would be paying, Rowan made sure he was the one to get the cheque and slip his card in with the receipt. All the while Elspeth continued playing beside him while Aelin was still outside on the phone. Then things unexpectedly went still and quiet. To his everlasting surprise he looked down to see that Elspeth had fallen asleep, her head resting on his thigh as her arms hugged her toy. 

Holy Gods, Rowan didn’t know what to do except sit perfectly still.

And he did, right up until Aelin came back in, eyes darting around for her daughter. 

“Ah, over here,” Rowan said, awkwardly pointing down next to him. 

With brows furrowed in confusion, Aelin came over. The confusion changed to surprise, but she didn't comment on it. “I’ll get the pram.”

Rowan kept up with his frozen state, not wanting to move and disturb the sleeping child while Aelin got the pram ready. She pushed a button and a whole section fell backwards, making it so there was a flat surface for Elspeth to lie on. He had no idea that prams could do such things. Then Aelin came over and very carefully picked Elspeth up. Once safely in her arms, she whispered softly to the girl, kissing her cheeks before lowering her down into the pram. 

“Sorry, apparently my car needs more work than I thought so it will be a few days,” Aelin explained, then shrugged. “What can you do? And I should probably get Sleeping Beauty home.”

“Well, we’re ready to go,” Iris said.

“The bill?” Aelin said.

Before Rowan could say anything, his father spoke up. “Don’t worry about it.”

Outside, Rowan gave his parents and Aelin some privacy to say goodbye. They wouldn’t see each other before they flew out tomorrow evening. He wasn’t too far away, close enough that he could still hear the hum of their conversation, but not what was being said. There was laughing and joking, but there were tears lining his mother’s eyes as she turned away. They made their way over to Rowan while Aelin checked her phone again. With a deep breath Rowan took a chance and walked towards her. She didn’t move, even when she saw him coming. He stopped a healthy distance away, second guessing himself. 

“Aelin, I…” Rowan sighed, frustrated at himself over his inability to just say the words. “Thank you for that.”

For a moment Aelin just eyed him assessingly, then said, “It was nothing.”

“It wasn’t and we both know it,” Rowan said.

Aelin looked down at Elspeth, still blissfully asleep in her pram. “I did it for her.”

That was a loaded statement, it could refer to lunch or it could apply to everything Aelin had done for the sake of her daughter over the past three years. Rowan was too much of a coward to question it further but he did have other things he needed to say. With a drama free meal creating such a positive environment, he might as well do it now. 

“I’m sorry,” he said simply, some of that anger that plagued him dissipating. 

But for Aelin it seemed to have the opposite effect. She stood straighter, her gaze turning harder. “For what exactly?”

This wasn’t going how he thought, he hadn’t meant to piss her off. So Rowan went on, dousing the flames instead of incensing them.

“For my behaviour since I arrived. There was a right way to go about this and I didn’t choose it,” Rowan said. “It was unfair to Elspeth for me to disrupt her life like that because of my own feelings. She’s so young, she doesn’t understand.”

Aelin cleared her throat. “You had every right to be angry.”

That admission took Rowan by surprise, but this wasn’t the time or place to start unpacking that. This was only going to work if he took it one step at a time, and he had one more thing he wanted to apologise for before he used up all his luck. “I’m sorry about punching Fenrys in the face.”

“You sure about that?” Aelin was fighting a smile.

Rowan let out a humourless laugh. “Like I said, a right way and a wrong way. Whatever he did, Fenrys didn’t deserve that.”

“Alright,” Aelin said after a few pensive moments. “Thank you. I accept your apologies and I appreciate you offering them.”

Rowan nodded, slipping his hands into his pockets—the vulnerability of this situation making him feel uncomfortable. Right now he didn’t expect anything more from Aelin. He knew that if they delved any deeper into the situation between them they would risk things fleeing hard and fast from civility.

“This feels never ending,” there was resignation in Aelin's voice, like she truly believed they would be stuck in this limbo of emotions and tension forever. 

“Did you need a ride? Because your car isn’t ready?” Rowan offered after a few more moments of heavy silence. 

Aelin shook her head, holding up her phone. “Fenrys is coming to get us, and you don’t have a carseat anyway.”

“Right, of course.” Rowan hadn’t even considered that, it hadn’t even entered his mind in the slightest. They didn’t just let two year olds rattle around in cars these days. If he were to have some kind of future with Elspeth in his life these were things he would have to consider.

“See you around,” Aelin said, turning and pushing the pram away, not bothering to wait for him to return the goodbye. She had never seen the point to maintaining a conversation past pointlessness.

Iris and Evander were waiting for him and without a word his mother wrapped Rowan in a hug. Pulling back, she gave him a small smile, something a little sad about it. “I’m so proud of you, Rowan.”

Swallowing against the tightness building in his chest he just said, “Thanks, Mum.”

“You can only go up from here,” Iris said as they started back to the car. 

Gods, he hoped she was right. Rowan felt like he was finally catching his breath, and he couldn’t be sure, but he felt like he was seeing his first glimmers of true hope.

~~~~~

Thank you so much for reading! I know it's been a while... sorry.

[elriell]

“I was going to use the word ‘explosive,’ but I think ‘great’ covers it.” His fingers tangle in my hair. “I fucking love your hair. If you ever want to bring me to my knees or win an argument, just let it down. I’ll get the point.”

Goddamn, I love them so much. I have got a lot of incredible plans for these two because they have lived with me since I finished Fourth Wing😌

I cannot thank the sweetest soul ever, @anxara.art more for all the hard work she put in bringing this to life! I hope you all adore it as much as I, and send her all the love and support✨

[shyvioletcat]

SNIPPET TIME: Made of Ashes CH 22

Okay, for those interested, I anticipate 24 hours for this chapter. Just need to fill in a few gaps and edit. Another tiny snippet in the meantime.

~~~~~

Right now they were looking through racks of dresses, something in Elsie’s size for her upcoming birthday. Although they might not quite be the right term. Her daughter was hiding in the middle of the racks, shoulders up obscured by clothes. Every once and a while Aelin split the row of dresses to keep Elsie stationary and within her immediate vicinity. If they made this into a game of peek-a-boo Aelin could keep her in this rack instead of wandering off.

“My goodness, Elsie just keeps disappearing,” Aelin said, which was met with a response of a giggle. “Ah-ha! There you are.”

Aelin moved across some tulle monstrosities to see her daughter who let out a very loud squeal at being discovered. Elsie covered her face like that would hide and Aelin went back to browsing. She pulled out two options, not particularly sold on either but she’d ask anyway.

“Elsie, do you like these?”

[sjmships]

So excited!!

[shyvioletcat]

Oh hi! Yes, This is something a little new and different, especially for @sjmcrackshipmonth. For Pirate Day my wonderful friend @sassyhobbits​ and I came up with a little idea, she came up with this wonderful artwork and I wrote a fic and we had so much fun. So, without further rabbling here is my first official Aelin x Fenrys work. 

CW: it’s smutty, like really smutty. Secondhand embarrassment 

FIND THE ACCOMPANYING ARTWORK HERE.

~~~~~

People told Aelin she was mad for running a tavern in a pirate port, and at times she would have to admit that they were right. Brawls were common, there had been damage to the ceilings from more gunshots than she could count, when things truly got out of hand there was an occasional stabbing. Aelin had threatened carousers here and there herself down the barrel of the pistol she kept stowed away in a dark corner of the counter. But for all its trouble the White Stag thrived under her charge. She could never be idle and a tavern in a pirate port like this was a lucrative business. And it wasn’t like she was without protection. 

Rhoe Galathynius was the most prominent merchant in Orynth, which made him a veritable king amongst men. Coin was the power in these waters, and their city on the river thrived under his watchful eye and scheming. So the fancy, looping gold lettering of her family name under the wood carved sign of the rearing white stag hanging above her door let patrons know who they were dealing with. It was an assurance for both her and her customers that serious misdeeds would be met with severe punishment, and that kept people coming to her fine establishment night after night. 

Keep reading

[sassyhobbits]

jolly sailor bold

SOOOOO EXCITED to share this piece. @shyvioletcat and I had so much fun doing the art/fic collab for @sjmcrackshipmonth ! you know the we OF COURSE had to do some fenlin💅

read the fic HERE !!!! ITS SO HOT AND AMAZING I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!!!!!

we hope everyone enjoys❤️

[whatisamettafor]

[whatisamettafor]

[tswaney17]

I Do Bad Things with You - Part 41

Happy 3rd Anniversary, IDBTWY!! 🎉 I can't believe we're celebrating three years of this fic. This journey has been incredible and I'm so excited (and a little sad) to say that we are close to finishing this story. I'm very close to getting this on a regular publishing schedule. But in the meantime, please check out the art I had commissioned by the incredible SnCinder here. 💙💚💜

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​​​

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💕

Catch up here.

Credit to @featherymalignancy for Cassian’s nickname, Cash. 😘

Trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault , language, NSFW

Word Count: 12,145

It was three days before their wedding and the only thing Azriel felt was utter bliss. He couldn’t believe that in just a short time, he would have Elain as his wife. Even though they were eloping to the Summer District, they’d been head down in wedding plans over the last month.

Elain and her sisters went shopping for her dress a few weeks ago, finding—according to El—the perfect dress that didn’t require any alterations. She refused to let him see it, claiming that even though they were eloping, the rules of bad luck still applied. He had to snort at the notion, but Az would admit that not knowing what she was wearing had him curiously wondering what it would look like. He pictured many different styles in his head, all of which Elain was absolutely stunning in.

He had been in charge of the rings, Elain claiming that if he could pick out the most perfect engagement ring, then she trusted him fully to select her wedding band. His jeweler managed to match the style of her ring, adding a few extra smaller diamonds to the set. He selected a titanium, black band for himself, having Elain’s name engraved on the inside of it. Az thought the black and rose-gold colors would compliment each other well, and when he put them together, he knew he was right.

Now they were sitting on the jet, waiting for the rest of their family to arrive. Rhys and Feyre were not far behind them in getting to the airstrip. Nuala and Cerridwen—as he and Elain had decided were family—were also joining them. The Moonbeam twins picked them up from the penthouse and were also coming along, both as security and because Elain considered them like family as well. All that was left was Cassian, Nesta, and Sutton.

The new parents decided that since they could travel by private jet, they felt comfortable bringing their new baby on board—since neither of them wanted to miss their siblings getting married. When they boarded, looking slightly disheveled, they apologized for the delay, claiming Sutton was fussing and they struggled to get her to calm down.

Elain moved towards her sister, taking her niece from Nesta’s arms. “Hello, beautiful girl,” she cooed, snuggling into the baby.

Azriel watched as his fiancée’s maternal instinct took over, soothing the child when she started to fidget.

Cassian approached his side, taking in the scene between his sister and daughter. “She’s a natural mother. You’ll be eternally grateful for that instinct deeply rooted in her when you two have kids.”

He didn’t bother responding, not even knowing if Elain wanted kids. Az had been waiting for her to bring it up, but when she hadn’t even after they got engaged, he started to believe that perhaps she was happy just being an aunt. She had put so much work into her career, he wouldn’t blame her for not wanting to take away from that. Even though he had some deep desire to get Elain pregnant, to watch her grow with life inside of her, their children, he didn’t want to put that pressure on her if it wasn’t something she wanted.

So, he didn’t say anything at all, content to just live with her.

“Do you want something to drink?” he asked his brother instead.

Cash saw the change in the subject for what it was, shaking his head with a sigh, but let it go. “Sure.”

Azriel popped a bottle of champagne, serving everyone a glass aside from Nesta who declined because she was still breastfeeding and took the flute of sparkling cider in replacement.

“To the bride and groom,” Rhys announced, raising a glass.

He wrapped an arm around Elain’s waist, tucking her into his side while she held their niece in one arm and her champagne in the other. It was hard not to picture them as a little family, but he gripped that dream in a fist until it was a fleeting thought. He wanted nothing more than to marry the love of his life and wouldn’t let anything ruin it.

~~~~~

As soon as their flight landed and they arrived at the house—their entire family in disbelief at what they had purchased—everyone was tasked with something for the wedding. Meeting with the caterer, getting the arch and chairs they rented for the ceremony delivered, confirming the photographer, checking in with the florist on Elain’s bouquet, the petals that Nesta would help Sutton toss along the beach, and arrangements for the tables they were setting up on their courtyard.

There was one other thing Elain still had to do, pulling Cash aside before the rehearsal dinner.

“What’s up, Ellie?” he asked, a look of concern on his face.

Pink touched her cheeks, the only hint of her nervousness. “So, I know you’re Az’s best man, but you have been such an important part of my life. You’ve always protected me and taken care of me, especially when I felt utterly alone in the world. I was wondering—or hoping—you would walk me down the aisle tomorrow before you stand next to Azriel?”

Shock rippled across Cassian’s face. It was obvious that he had not been expecting her to ask him that. “Elain,” he said, emotion clogging his voice. “It would be my absolute honor to walk you down the aisle.” Tears lined his eyes as he pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly.

“Thank you, Cash,” she murmured, trying and failing to hold back her tears.

That night, Azriel and the other men stayed in the guest house, giving the main one to the girls.

“No strippers, boys,” she said as they tugged Az away from her.

“The same could be said for you,” Rhys called out, giving her a wink.

Her fiancé growled, slapping his brother up the side of his head.

Elain laughed. “Believe me, the only man I want to see stripping is staying with you.”

“I’m happily taken, Ellie!” Cash called out flashing the cheekiest of grins.

She could only shake her head at their antics, returning to the main house where the girls were waiting for her with drinks, games, and a bride-sash.

“Since we didn’t have time to host a bridal shower and bachelorette party beforehand, we’re improvising,” Feyre announced, throwing the sash over her head and guiding her to the living room where they had decorated for their little party.

The whole night was perfect, celebrating her final night as an unmarried woman.

The next day was filled with a flurry of commotion, everyone getting ready for the wedding. Feyre had stuck Elain in a chair and was painting magic on her face while Nuala and Cerridwen worked on her hair, curling it into gorgeous beach waves and tying half it up into a knot at the crown of her head. They wove flowers into the knot atop her head and behind her ear.

When she looked in the mirror, Elain gasped. It was beyond stunning the work they had done on her. “Thank you,” she whispered, trying to hold back her tears so she didn’t ruin her makeup. “All of you. I’m so grateful to have you all here with me.”

“There’s nowhere else we’d rather be, Ellie,” Nesta told her, hugging her from the back. “Come on, let’s get your dress on.” Her sister walked over to the garment bag and unzipped it.

Untying her white robe, Elain slipped on the dress behind the partition, coming out only to have help buttoning up the back. The dress was simply gorgeous. The bodice was made up of floral lace, plunging to just above her belly button while keeping her modestly covered. Delicate, thin straps of the same floral pattern went over her shoulders to the scooped back. The tulle skirt gathered at her waist, adding a layer over the lace skirt that sucked into her legs. It gave her this gorgeous silhouette under the gown.

Elain would go barefoot for the ceremony on the beach, wearing jeweled barefoot sandals that hooked over her middle toe and around her ankle. She had a pair of white heels she’d put on for the reception in the courtyard, once she was back on solid ground.

She slipped on the halo sapphire and diamond earrings that Azriel had gifted to her for her birthday—the only jewelry she wore aside from her engagement ring. They were one of her something blue, the other a cobalt garter in testament to Az’s favorite color. Grabbing the perfume she bought specifically for the wedding, Elain gave herself a few sprits, letting the delicate jasmine scent wash over her before making her way downstairs to the living area where Feyre, Nesta carrying Sutton, and Cash were waiting for her.

“Elain,” Cassian said her name with such reverence that she almost broke down right there. “You look so beautiful.”

Her pink lips pulled up into a joyous smile. “Thank you, Cash.” She hugged him, careful not to smudge her makeup on his suit jacket.

“Ready?” Feyre asked, handing her the blush-colored bouquet of peonies. The florist had done a stellar job with the bridal bouquets and centerpieces for the table.

“I’ve never been more ready for anything,” she said. Elain had waited for a decade to marry Azriel. Her excitement to finally get the chance left her breathless.

Though Feyre was Elain’s maid of honor, she walked down the aisle first since Nesta was carrying the flower girl.

Elain watched her sisters walk through the courtyard, out to the beach where they had set up the arch, decorated with more flowers. Where Azriel awaited her.

Cassian helped her out the door, holding a bit of her dress for her so it didn’t drag too much until they reached the edge of the courtyard and waited for the queue with the change of the music.

Elain and Azriel had picked strictly piano pieces to use for their ceremony and reception. It was fitting to them since that was how he proposed and they spent countless hours listening and him playing it.

Her brother fixed her dress one last time before offering her his arm. “Thank you for choosing him,” he said so quietly she almost missed it.

She furrowed her brow looking up at him, waiting for him to continue.

“I always worried that Azriel would never find happiness after high school. I watched my brother enter this cruel world intending to own it, even if it destroyed him in the very process. I thought I was going to lose him for a while…He’d been so depressed, I worried for his life.” Those pain-filled eyes looked down at her.

She knew Az had some internal struggles, but she didn’t know how bad it was. It broke her heart to hear that Cassian had feared for Az’s life.

“The one thing he never lost was his love for you,” he continued, likely noticing her inner sorrow, but needing to tell her this anyways. “And I’m so thankful that you forgave him for his past mistakes. The only time I ever saw Azriel happy was when he was with you, Elain. You are the world in which he revolves around. His entire being is to keep you safe and to love you, unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before.

“Thank you for loving him in the way he deserves but never letting himself have.” Cassian’s eyes misted over by the time he finished and she struggled to not let herself cry at the confession.

“He is worth loving,” she admitted, looking out towards the beach like she could see him from where she stood.

“That he is,” Cassian murmured as the music changed, indicating it was time.

The few steps to the beach seemed like a lifetime until she turned the corner and saw him standing at the altar, waiting for her.

Even this far away, she could hear his choked sound at the sight of her. His face crumpled in elation as he wiped tears from under his eyes.

Elain’s hold on her damn broke and she let out a sob, face splitting in the most adoring grin. Only Cassian’s firm grip on her arm prevented her from running down the aisle and leaping into his arms.

After what felt like an eternity, Cassian was leaning over to kiss her cheek, and offering her hand to Azriel before taking his place at his side.

She handed off her bouquet to Feyre so she could take his hands.

Unable to help himself, Az leaned forward to brush his lips on her cheek before he gently pulled her forward until she was facing him. “You look…” he paused, silver-lined eyes scanning her from head to toe. “I have no words to describe how exquisite you look, El. You’re radiant.”

She choked on her laugh, her face morphing into actual rays of sunshine. “Thank you, Az. You look beautiful, too.” And she meant it. He had on a brand-new suit, cut to every defined muscle. He wore a crisp, white button-up underneath the jacket with a blush-colored tie around his neck. Even the peony boutonnière contrasted perfectly with his tanned complexion.

Rhys cleared his throat, recapturing their attention. He gave them a knowing smile. “It brings me great joy to officiate the wedding between Azriel Knight and Elain Archeron. Azriel, my brother, you have been a part of my family since we were kids. Though our relationship started rocky—”

“You beat the snot out of me that first night,” Az muttered making everyone laugh.

Their brother waved a hand. “Semantics. It didn’t take us long to warm up to each other, finding that brotherly bond we both needed. I’m grateful every day that we took you in—that we became family.”

Those violet eyes turned to her. “Elain, my darling Elain. You have always been like a little sister to me. Even before Feyre and I started dating and later got married, you’ve held this special place in my heart to love, to protect. When you and Azriel began dating in high school, I was ecstatic because I always hoped you would one day become a part of my family. And you’re now a part of it in more ways than one.”

She released one of Az’s hands to grip Rhys’s forearm, squeezing it once before returning it to her fiancé. 

“I’ve never met two people more perfect for each other. Where one hides in the shadows, the other shines. You two lift each other up in the best of ways and I have no doubt in my mind you will build the most perfect life together. I believe you both wrote your vows. Elain, if you would please go ahead.”

Her brown eyes, reflecting pools of gold in the setting sunlight looked at her husband-to-be. “Azriel, you are the strongest, most considerate man I have ever known. Our love has definitely been tested to limits that most couples never experience, but I know that makes us more solid in the foundations of our marriage.” He chuckled at how true it was. “I know that when in moments of hopelessness, you will lend me your strength. In times of sorrow, you will give me your love. When the world around me becomes too loud, you will hold me close and protect me.

“You are so many things that it sometimes makes my head spin because how could you possibly be every dream I wished for myself to find in a lover? You have broken down every fear; every mark on my life and filled it with joy. I will love you with my entire being because you deserve that from me. You deserve to feel my elation in the life we have created together. I love you more than words could ever express. My life partner. My friend. My soulmate. My husband.” Tears rolled down her cheek and he reached out, swiping them away, ignoring how his face was also wet from waterworks.

Rhys turned to his brother. “Azriel, would you please say your vows?”

He took a steadying breath. “Fuck, I should’ve gone first,” he said quietly to her.

She couldn’t help but tip her head back and laugh.

“Elain Archeron.” Her name curled on his tongue. “You are, without a doubt, the light of my life. A decade ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting you go and the gods know I didn’t deserve your forgiveness for it, but you gave it to me anyways. I sometimes have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. To verify you’re actually here with me.” She squeezed his hands in reassurance. “You have the most generous heart I have ever seen; have ever had the pleasure of being held within.

“You claim that I am strong, but my strength comes from you. Your resilience is unparallel. You have made me a better man, one who will love you faithfully even after we are but dust in the wind. I promise to share my life with you. To hold you in times of need and when you require a sturdy presence. I promise to help you pursue your dreams. To take you on adventures and everything else your heart desires. I consider myself the luckiest person in the world to get to call you mine. My light. My heart. My love. My wife.”

Rhys had to wipe a tear from his eye, clearing his throat to rein in the emotion he was feeling. “May I have the rings?”

Cassian slipped behind Azriel to hand his other brother the two rings.

Rhys handed them each one. “Elain, do you take Azriel to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold? In sickness and in health? From now and forever?”

“I do,” she said, sliding the black band onto his scarred ring finger.

“And do you, Azriel, take Elain to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold? In sickness and in health? From now and forever?”

Az’s dazzling smile lit up the world around them. “I do.” He slipped the beautiful rose gold band onto her delicate finger.

Rhys clapped his hands together. “Well, thank god for that!” he teased. “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

The powerful male in front of her stepped forward, slinking one hand around her waist, the other cradling her head, and pressed his lips on hers.

Elain felt her back arch as he leaned them over, gently prying her mouth open so his tongue could slip inside. The kiss was languid like they took the time to learn about each other as husband and wife. Her fingers went to his nape, ruffling the hair there.

Time slowed as if even the world paused for that kiss. The kiss that certified them as one. A unit. And when they finally broke apart, when the sounds of their family’s cheers entered their ears, neither could look away from the other. An unbreakable chain linked between their souls, connecting them in the most intrinsic of ways.

He was hers and she was his. Now and forever.

“I love you, Elain,” he whispered, bringing her back in for another kiss, arms going around her lithe body to lift her off the ground.

She erupted into a fit of giggles, eyes shining with more tears, with love, with devotion for the man in front of her.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I present for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Azriel and Elain Archeron-Knight!”

Grabbing her bouquet, she took Azriel’s hand as they walked back down the aisle toward the house. But about halfway back, he leaned down and lifted her over his shoulder, making her squeal. “Azriel!” she shouted, laughter echoing around them. “Put me down!”

He hauled her over his body until he was carrying her bridal style. “No,” he grinned, leaning forward to kiss her as he made the trek back into the courtyard.

Elain welcomed the kiss, wrapping her arms and the bouquet around the backside of his head and holding him there for a few extra seconds. The flash of the photographer lit up their bodies, but they didn’t care as they just held each other’s stare. She traced her index finger over his cheek. “Hi husband,” she whispered shyly.

His smile was too infectious to not beam back at him. It made him look so young, boyish. “My wife,” he murmured, nudging his nose into hers. Azriel set her back on her feet, pulling her close and never letting go.

~~~

Azriel was her husband. Elain couldn’t believe that after everything they’d been through—waiting a decade for this moment—it was finally here. Everything about this moment was completely different from anything she ever shared with Graysen.

Graysen’s priority had always been himself. She didn’t even think she was in his top five important things in his life. Their entire relationship had been based on their fathers’ friendship and a setup—and she had just let it go on, not really living, but simply existing.

It was nothing like the life, the love, she’d built with Azriel. This had been wholly hers. Her decision, her choices, her life.

They’d only been married for a few hours and she couldn’t help but think of how well it suited him. He couldn’t keep his hands off her (more than he normally couldn’t). Taking her hand in his large one, setting one on her thigh while they ate, tugging her onto the makeshift dance floor by the edge of the pool. Whatever they were doing, he couldn’t seem to let her go.

And she had no desire for him to stop. Currently, she was tucked into his arms under the twinkling lights as they swayed to the soft piano music. Her hand was curled in his, head resting on his chest as she listened to his thundering heartbeat.

Every once in a while, she’d let out a contented sigh and found herself somehow melting further into his embrace. He tucked her under his chin, giving him ample opportunities to lean down and press his lips to the crown of her head.

Elain had wrapped her arm around his waist, sliding it under his suit jacket so her palm laid on the backside of his button-up. Her fingers would flex, pressing the pads of them into the strong muscles of his back.

It was late evening. Nesta retired to the house earlier, taking a sleeping Sutton to lay her down, and never returned. Cassian followed shortly after, looking for his wife, and if Elain had to guess, found her asleep still in her dress.

Fenrys and Connall had sat with Cerridwen and Nuala on the porch patio and were chatting. Had been nearly all evening, but not before each of them took her and Azriel for a round on the dancefloor.

Her other sister and husband were twirling next to them, enjoying the soft sounds of the night around them.

Azriel pressed his lips to the top of her head again. “Would you like to head in now?” he asked her quietly.

Elain tipped her face up, a beautiful smile painted on her pink lips. “Sure.”

He gave her a soft kiss before leading her not to the main house, but to the adjacent one. She looked at him with confusion when he glanced over his shoulder at her. “I thought we could take the guest house tonight, so we don’t have to worry about anyone overhearing us.”

A cheeky smile threatened to turn up her mouth. “Azriel Archeron-Knight, are you trying to get into my skirt?” she teased, giggling.

He flashed her a heated look. “Always.” And then swung open the door.

Elain couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped her, taking a single step forward. But before she could even get to the doorway, she was scooped up into his arms and carried over the threshold. She squealed in delight, wrapping her arms around his neck as he carried her in, kicking the door shut behind him.

The whole place was lit up with candles. Rose petals littered the floor, leading up the stairs and, what she assumed would be into a bedroom.

“Az,” she cried, eyes wide in astonishment. “Did you do this?” she asked as he set her back on her feet.

His hands came down onto her shoulders, thumbs swooping over the bare skin. “I had some help,” he admitted. “After our poker game last night, the guys helped me set up the candles. Nuala and Cer came in during the reception to sprinkle the rose petals and light everything.”

“It’s beautiful,” she told him. And it was, completely and totally romantic. Turning to face him, she kissed him hard. Her tongue slipped into his mouth, stroking his.

Azriel gripped her rear end, molding the flesh to his scarred palms and making her whimper. He sucked her bottom lip between his teeth, the sensation pulling a heeding sound from her throat. Breaking off the kiss, Az took her hand and led her up the stairs toward the bedroom.

The bed wasn’t their usual size, but Elain had no doubt he could worship her like how she imagined he would.

Taking his phone from his pocket, Az turned on the same music they had playing all evening.

Her lips quirked up in the corner. “Setting the mood?”

He chuckled. “Something like that.” Azriel flicked his wrist in a circular motion. “Turn around.”

She did as requested, turning to give him access to her back.

His fingers slid into her thick, soft hair, plucking the loose flowers from her locks. He pulled the pin from her knot, letting the rest of her hair drape down her back. Gently, those scarred fingers grazed over her scalp, massaging.

Elain hummed in pleasure.

Azriel swept her hair over her shoulder, giving him access to the line of buttons that ran down her spine. He took his time opening each one, kissing at the patch of creamy skin it revealed as he went until he reached the final one just above the swell of her ass. “May I?” he asked her, fingering the delicate straps.

She nodded. “Please.”

Azriel slowly dragged her dress down her body, offering his shoulder to help her step out of it. His eyes dragged over every inch of the white lingerie she wore, all the way down to the cobalt-colored garter that adorned her luscious thigh. “Fuck me, Elain,” he groaned, moving to hang her dress up before turning to look back at her.

She appreciated he took extra care to hang her dress so it wouldn’t get ruined. Flashing him with a mirthful smile, she said, “I plan to.”

His long, powerful legs swallowed the space between them in two single strides as he crashed their lips together, nudging her toward the bed and carefully laying her down on top of it. He kissed her deeply, with long, sensual strokes from his tongue until their mouths were bruised and swollen. His hands swept over her body, feeling the texture of the lace. “I believe I was supposed to take this off with my teeth,” he mumbled against her lips, thumbing the garter.

He kissed down her body, in the valley between her breasts, over the soft swell of her tummy, across her hip, and down her thigh to where the garter sat, leaving little marks as he went. She squirmed under his machinations, but he didn’t let up, taking his time with each place he sucked a bruise onto. His teeth clamped down on the frilly fabric, slowly dragging it down her knee, her calf, and off her foot, tossing it over his shoulder.

She laughed at the audacity of it.

Gripping her hips, he made his way back up her body, only stopping at her neck to lick and suck at her delicate skin.

Elain’s fingers got to work, shoving his jacket off his shoulders, followed by his tie from around his neck, but he stopped her from tossing it on the floor.

Taking the silk fabric, he smirked, telling her, “We’ll save this for later,” and set it aside on the bed.

Heat pooled between her legs at the promise. As of now, he had yet to tie her up, but Elain wouldn’t lie and say the idea hadn’t crossed her mind. To be immobilized by him and only him made her blood heat.

Sensing her growing need, he rolled his hips into hers, giving her just a taste of what was to come.

Azriel didn’t seem to know where to touch her first, so he kept his hands moving in possessive little touches across her body. Pinching her nipples, gripping her hips, spreading her lush thighs apart so he could settle more firmly into their cradle. No matter what he did, it just made her ache for him.

She needed to feel him. Feel his skin on hers, sliding against the lace of her lingerie. “Az,” she whined. “Take it off, please. I want to feel you.” Elain pushed at his shirt, trying to unbutton it.

He obliged her, rising to shed his button-up, and then flicked open his belt to strip out of his pants. Az seemed to care much less about his expensive suit than her dress, tossing the garments onto the floor. In his boxers only, he crawled over her.

Her hands scratched at his skin, sliding up his sides to hook around his shoulders. Elain prided herself in knowing his body thoroughly. She knew every scar, every ridge, every whorl of ink. So, when he lay back on top of her, she immediately noticed something new on his chest.

“You look so fucking beautiful, Elain,” he groaned into her neck, sucking on her pulse point.

But her hands were on his shoulders, pushing him up to get a better look at whatever he had added to his chest. Her eyes went wide in shock, finger tracing the new whorl of ink on his pectoral, right over his heart. Because, holy fuck, that was her name he added. “When did you get this?” she asked, her eyes flicking up to his in wonderment.

A smile curved up the corner of his mouth. “A few days ago.” Which, kind of explained why she hadn’t seen it since they agreed to hold off on sex the past week to make tonight more special. And why he wore a T-shirt to bed the last few nights.

“It’s my handwriting,” she deadpanned. How did he have this perfectly done?

A blush heated his cheeks as he looked down at her with such love and devotion, she felt it in the very marrow of her bones. “I took a photo of your signature on our marriage license and sent it to the artist to create a stencil. I wanted your essence imprinted on me forever. Your handwriting, your name, permanently marked over my heart where you belong.”

Elain was desperately trying to swallow the emotion that had choked her. This man. This wonderful, incredible, selfless man tattooed her name on his body to always keep her close to his heart. She didn’t think she could love him any more than she already did, but he continuously proved her wrong.

Leaning her head forward, she kissed him right over that ink, then cupped his face in her palms; let her thumbs trace lightly over the apples of his cheeks. “Make love to me, Azriel.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, taking her hands from his face and lacing their fingers together by the side of her head. He sucked and licked the soft swells of her breasts, plumped up from the lingerie she was still wearing. His mouth attached to her nipple through the lacy fabric, pulling the point deep into his mouth until her back arched.

She raised her hips, rubbing them together. The wet spot on her panties would’ve told him just how desperate she was for him. It matched the one on his boxer briefs.

Az released her hands to work on the straps of her lingerie, pulling the white lace off her until she was completely bare before him. His thumb gently stroked her slit, grazing her clit just so, sending bolts of pleasure through her body.

Elain’s fingers slid into his dark locks, mussing them as she tugged him closer to where she needed him.

“Tell me what you want me to do, El,” he groaned, sliding his nose into the crease of her thigh.

A hot, needy sound tumbled from her throat, but she said the words that she knew would elicit actions. “Feast, husband.”

He growled, lapping at her entrance before plunging his tongue inside of her. He licked and slurped at her like she was the last thing he’d ever eat. It felt so good, she was nearly delirious with pleasure. Sliding two fingers into her, he pumped slowly, stretching her. “You’re so fucking close already, I can feel you quivering around my hand.”

Elain threw her head back, eyes squeezed shut as she focused on the pull, deep in her gut. Her hips undulated into him and she tugged his head down to where she needed him. Wanted him. “Please, Az,” she cried.

Knowing exactly what she was asking for, he sucked her clit between his teeth, finally drawing her to the brink, and pushing her off.

Elain shattered on his tongue, screaming out his name and tightening her grip on his hair hard enough that he groaned against her, the vibrations sending her spiraling.

He didn’t stop until she went limp, licking every drop she gave him. Azriel looked up at her from between her legs, her release dripping off his lips, and fuck, did the sight have her body trembling for more.

Using his hair as leverage, she pulled him up her body until she could kiss him. Elain moaned at the taste of herself on his tongue.

Brushing hair off her forehead, he smiled down at her. “Hi, wife.”

Those words made butterflies erupt in her stomach, her heart pounding against her ribcage. Azriel could’ve made his vow to her from that look alone, with so much love and longing, Elain knew he was feeling the same emotions as she was.

She reached down, cupping him in her small palm and earning a hiss as he pumped into her hand.

“Still need more from me?” he teased.

“I need everything from you.”

Heat flashed in his eyes. Crawling off her, he stripped out of his boxers, that last piece of clothing between them, then resituated himself between her legs. Azriel rubbed himself over her drenched slit, coating him in her release and adding friction to her clit.

Elain’s head tipped back as a moan crested from her lips.

He took advantage of the exposed skin, attaching his mouth to her neck and sucking a bruising mark into her skin. She loved his love bites, loved when he covered her in his marks like he was staking a claim.

Blindly reaching, Az grabbed the tie from the other side of the bed and held it between them. “Do you trust me?”

The corner of Elain’s lips quirked up. “A little late asking me that since I just married you.”

He pinched her butt cheek in reprimand making her squeal.

“Yes, of course, I trust you.”

“Give me your hands.” It was a soft command, but she listened, bringing her palms forward and presenting them to him. Azriel wrapped the small end of his tie around her, binding her arms together at her wrists with the soft silk. “Is that too tight?” he asked, sliding a finger under the fabric.

She shook her head. “No.”

He kissed her fingers. “If you become uncomfortable at all, tell me.” And then he pushed her arms above her head. “Don’t move these.”

Elain felt herself shudder, stretching out her body as he leaned over her again, mouth going straight for her neck. Her husband’s neck kink was out in full force that night and she loved every bite, every swipe of his tongue on the sensitive skin.

His hips rutted into her, sliding himself through her lower lips and coating his cock with her arousal.

It was heavenly. From the sensual tug of his teeth and the friction he applied between her legs, Elain felt herself slicken even further. “Azriel,” she groaned, arms aching to go around his neck but remaining still above her head. “Please. I need you inside me.”

Grabbing her plump thigh, he hefted it onto his shoulder, splitting her open. The head of his cock nudged at her entrance before he rolled his hips, sliding into her with ease.

Her back arched as he entered her, his grunts of pleasure from her clenching around him only enticed her further.

“El, fucking hell. If you keep doing that, I’m going to come before I’m even seated,” he complained, lips pulling her pert nipple into his mouth and sucking.

She couldn’t stop the cry from escaping her as he filled her to the brim. His cock sheathed in her warm heat was better than any feeling. She couldn’t explain how the fullness made her whimper from pleasure but also feel at home at the same time. Elain wrapped her other leg around his hips, urging him to move.

And move he did. Long, slow thrusts had her seeing stars when he hit that spot deep inside her. Everything he gave her was measured, from how far he pulled out, to how fast he pushed himself into her.

She needed him harder. Deeper. “Fuck me, Azriel. Like you mean it,” she growled.

His teeth bit down on her nipple in reprimand and, fuck, did she feel it everywhere. Pain mixed with pleasure. But he did as she demanded, snapping his hips into hers and building her up, up, up until she teetered on the edge of her pleasure.

He released her nipple, lips traveling up her jaw to find her own as he thrust into her again. Az grabbed the large end of his tie, wrapped it around his hand, and pinned it to the wall as he fucked her harder, the headboard slamming into the plaster with enough force to leave a dent.

But she didn’t care. She didn’t care about the goddamn wall, or how her arms ached, or that their family might hear them if they were still outside. All she cared about was the wonderful, delicious feeling that grew low in her belly.

Azriel’s tongue licked up her neck, sucking her delicate skin. He angled his hips up to catch her clit with every thrust. It was what she needed to send her shattering into a million little pieces.

Elain’s cries were smothered by his mouth like he wanted to swallow every sound she made.

It only took a few more thrusts before he careened into his orgasm, spilling himself deep inside her, her body milking him.

Azriel collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily into her neck as she fought to catch her own. He brought his arm down, pulling her hands until he could slip his head between her arms. She carded her fingers through his damp hair, scratching at his scalp. He hummed in contentment.

They lay there for a while, snuggled into each other’s embrace, Elain brushing her lips on the top of his head.

After a few moments, he was tugging himself out of her sensitive center, kissing the wince away before sliding out of her arms and sitting up. Az carefully untied her silk from her wrists, dropping, even more, kisses to where they had been bound. “How was that?”

She hummed, a soft smile painted on her lips as she circled her free wrists. “That was better than amazing.”

“Better than amazing, hmm?” he murmured, nudging his nose into her cheek.

Affectionate Azriel was one of her favorites—his need for physical touch after they had sex always led to some cuddling. So, she was quite surprised when he began climbing off her. “Where are you going?” she complained, reaching out for him, but her weary arm fell to the mattress with a thud.

He chuckled, leaning down to kiss her lips once more. “I’ll be right back.” Azriel walked over to his suitcase, sitting in the corner of the room.

Elain rolled onto her side, propping her head on her fist, and watched him stoop down. “Nice ass, husband.”

Her comment had him laughing, deep and full-bellied. He glanced over his shoulder at her, humor dancing in those dark eyes. Grabbing whatever he needed from his bag, he walked back over to her with a mischievous grin. “Since this is our wedding night, I thought we could make it traditional in that we take your last virginity.”

She raised a brow. “Virginity? Az, what are you talking—” Elain paused, taking in the items he presented to her in his palms. The pink vibrator, a tube of lube, and a plug were cradled in his hands. “You want to take my ass?” she asked in disbelief.

“You make it sound so dirty,” he snickered, kneeling on the bed. “And only if you want to. I know we’ve discussed it lightly before, but I brought everything we’d need if you want to explore it.”

Pink rushed to her cheeks, dripping down her chest. She’d be lying if she said the idea hadn’t prickled her curious mind. Whenever he touched her there, her pleasure always intensified. It felt so forbidden, but so right at the same time. Her eyes traveled from the items still in his palms back to his face. “Okay,” she breathed.

Setting everything on the bed, he kissed her belly, smiling into her skin. “My good girl,” he murmured, the words igniting something inside her. “On your knees.”

Elain rolled over, rising onto all fours. Her stomach clenched in anticipation.

Az placed another kiss at the bottom of her spine, kneading her behind. “You have less give back here, so we’re going to take this nice and slow. But I need you to tell me when it’s getting close to being too much to handle, and when you’ve reached your limit. We don’t go past anything that you’re uncomfortable with. Okay?”

She nodded, flipping her hair over her shoulder to look back at him. “I understand.”

“Good girl. We’ll start with my fingers to get you stretched, then I’m going to try and insert this plug.” He leaned over her to show her the plug again. Elain ran a finger over the cool metal. “First off,” he started, setting the plug back on the bed, “we need to get you stimulated.” Azriel slid two fingers inside of her, wetting them with their combined releases.

Elain moaned as he thrust into her, filling her, stretching her. Pulling his digits from her cunt, her body clenching around nothing, he then slowly inserted the toy. They had only played with it a few times, but it had become one of her favorite things to pull out when they got hot and heavy. She waited in baited silence for that first vibration, jolting at the first flick from his fingers on his phone. Hips stuttering, she bowed her head, moaning.

“Easy, love,” he murmured, stroking up to her rosebud. Az worked her opening with his two fingers. The squeeze was tight, but then she felt him add a generous amount of lube, slickening her hole and allowing him to slip in both digits to his knuckle.

She whimpered, rocking back onto his hand. The sensation of his fingers pumping in and out of her, the vibrations from the toy in her pussy had her sprinting towards her next orgasm.

But as soon as he felt her crest, Az pulled out of her behind.

Elain was close to crying out when she felt the plug being pushed into her gaping back hole. Holy fuck, the plug was larger than his two fingers. She whimpered as her body stretched to accommodate the toy, bordering on painful.

“You’re doing so well, my good girl. Breathe, love.”

She took shallow breaths, eyes screwing shut. “Az,” Elain cried out his name. “It hurts.” Her fingers tightened on the sheets beneath her palms.

Immediately he pulled back slightly, giving her body some relief. “Do you want to stop, Elain?”

Did she want to stop? No—she didn’t. Elain wanted this. “No,” she breathed, head bowing. “Just give me a second.”

He kissed her sweaty back, reaching between her legs her to lazily rub at her clit.

“How much further until the plug is seated?” she panted, glancing over her shoulder at him.

Azriel’s burning gaze was already on her face, the hunger she saw nearly made her quiver. “About a half inch until you reach the jewel. Once it’s in, it shouldn’t hurt anymore.”

Elain swallowed, nodding. “Okay, go ahead.”

“Are you sure, El? We don’t have to do this.”

She reached back, grabbed his knee—the only thing she could grasp—and squeezed it. “I’m okay. I want to continue.”

Adding more lube to her back entrance, he continued, twisting the plug back and forth to add to the pleasurable sensation.

The break was exactly what her body needed, because, after another moment or two, Elain felt the plug settle into her ass. She moaned, toes curling at feeling so full.

“Good fucking girl,” Az groaned, circling her clit with his fingers. “You did so well, my love. Let’s get you to come, shall we?” Kicking up the vibrator, he gently tugged on the plug, not pulling it out but giving her a sensation of a thrust.

Her body shook, teetering on the edge of her orgasm. “Az, I’m so close. Please, please.” Tears rolled down her cheeks from the pleasure she felt. That deep pull in her backside, the vibrations. Everything inside her was pulled taut and ready to snap. So, when he twisted the plug, Elain shattered in a way she had never done before.

She screamed, her body quaking around everything. Wetness poured out from around the vibrator, coating her thighs. Unable to hold herself up anymore, she collapsed, face first, into her pillow, forcing Azriel to let go of the plug lest he accidentally pull it out of her.

Elain shook, and shook, and shook, the aftershocks of her orgasm running up and down her spine like ocean waves crashing along the shore.

His body sidled up behind her, tugging her limp form into his arms to whisper words of comfort into her hair.

“Turn it off,” she panted, the stimulation overwhelming enough that it was too much.

He moved quickly, releasing her to sit up and grab his phone.

Elain whimpered when the toy was switched off, her sensitive center aching. She was gathered back into his arms, her back pressed into his chest. His hard cock was digging into her backside, thankfully not adding any pressure to the plug.

She panted heavily, her entire body unnaturally boneless. It almost felt like she was hovering just outside of her physical form, not quite drifting back down from her high.

Azriel ran his scarred hands over her curves, soothing her to finally come back to him. he planted kisses on her shoulder, her neck, wherever he could reach with his mouth while keeping her secure in his embrace. “I’m here, El. Just breathe,” he murmured into her hair, making sure she could feel his presence.

It could’ve been minutes or hours before she finally collected enough pieces of herself to twist her neck and look at him over her shoulder.

A dopey smile was on his face at her blissed-out state. “Hello, love,” he whispered, gently kissing her lips.

“How long have we been laying here?” she asked, genuinely curious if she passed out.

He kissed her cheek. “About fifteen minutes.”

That had her blinking. She’d been out of it for fifteen minutes? Holy fuck.

His low chuckle had her eyes snapping back to his. “That was a rather intense orgasm for you. It’ll take a while for you to come down from it,” Az explained, reaching over her to cup the side of her cheek. His thumb swooped over her skin and she couldn’t help but lean into his touch. “How are you feeling?”

How did she feel? Elain wasn’t quite sure she could explain it, to be honest, but she tried anyways. “I feel—” she weighed her words, trying to find the best ones, “light, I suppose is a good way to put it. Like I drifted out of my body.”

“Did you enjoy it?” Of course, he would ask her that.

“It was overwhelming, but yes, I enjoyed it. A lot. I’ve never felt anything like that before.” Elain reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together. “Just give me a couple more minutes and then we can continue.”

He squeezed her palm. “Baby, we don’t need to go any further tonight. You’ve already been through a lot and I don’t want you pushing it—”

“I’m not, Az,” she interrupted him. “I want to try it with you. I’ve got one more in me tonight, but that’s it. And I want to share it with you.”

It was obvious he wanted to protest, but she didn’t let him. “You’ve only come once tonight. I want to be the reason you do it again. Please, Az. Just try. I’ll tell you if I can’t handle it.”

Scarred fingers brushed her hair behind her ear. “Okay, let me go get a towel before we attempt to pull the plug out.” He dropped another kiss on her shoulder. “I’ll be right back.” Sliding off the bed, Azriel padded to the bathroom, bringing back two bath towels.

She watched him place one at the end of the bed, and then unfolded the other, sliding it partially under her hips.

At her questioning look, he told her, “It might get a little messy and I’d rather not have to change the sheets tonight when we’re finished.”

“You’re not going to put me on my knees again?”

He resumed his position behind her. “No, I don’t think you have the energy for that right now. So, I’ll take you like this.” Propping her knee up, he traced the pads of his fingers over her hip, sliding until her could toy with her clit, lightly circling it. “Tell me when you’re ready. I’ll put the vibrator back on but will keep it low.”

Elain took a steadying breath. He was right, she didn’t have the energy to keep herself upright and she was incredibly thankful that Az could read her body better than she could. “I’m ready,” she said with conviction.

His thick arm slid under her waist, coming up to cup her breast, pinching her nipple just enough to send bolts of pleasure through her body.

She whimpered, pressing herself further into the cradle of his hips.

“Touch yourself for me,” he ordered, taking her hand when she brought it between her legs and showing her just how much pressure to apply. “Good girl. Just like that.” Releasing her, he reached back for his phone, kicking on the vibrator to a low setting.

Elain sucked in a breath, her body still slick with her arousal. When she felt the twisting on the plug, she couldn’t stop the low moan from escaping her throat.

“You’re doing so well, love. Just breathe for me. Nice and slow.”

Doing as he told her, she inhaled slowly, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth as he carefully pulled the plug from her ass. As soon as it was gone, Elain whined, her body clenching around the open air.

Azriel cursed into her shoulder, applying lube to his hard cock. “Your body is begging for me, love,” he groaned, nudging the head at her back hole. He grabbed her thigh, hauling her bent leg into the air and exposing her to the cool air. “Tell me when you need me to stop.”

She didn’t. Elain relaxed her body as best as she could, taking him inch by glorious inch as he rocked himself into her. She reached back, gripping his hair at the scalp and holding him into her neck while he sunk deeper and deeper until she felt her rear end pressed into the cradle of his hips.

“Fuck, El,” he moaned. “You’re so fucking tight.”

Elain couldn’t form words. She was delirious with pleasure, edged with pain, and everything in between. It was life-altering, how full she felt with his cock buried into her ass. Nothing could compare to how good it felt to have him like this.

When he started to move, the only sounds she could form were heavy breaths and low moans. Her mind was a kaleidoscope of color as he thrust into her, his fingers digging into the back of her knee, holding her open for him.

His strokes were measured and deep, sliding nearly all the way out, and pushing in until he hit a spot inside her that had her gasping every time.

She needed more. She needed it faster. She needed to come. “Harder, Az,” she cried out, her face burying into her shoulder.

He picked up the pace, snapping his hips into her, his mouth latching itself onto her the back of her shoulder.

Oh, gods. Oh, gods, it was so good. Her hand left her clit to clutch the edge of her pillow, but he quickly replaced it, releasing her breast to slide his fingers down between her legs, tightening his circles on her.

Elain sobbed in pleasure, climbing higher and higher. It was too much. It wasn’t enough. She couldn’t think straight. Her name…what was it? Oh, fuck, he felt so good. She had no idea it could feel like this. “So good,” she moaned pathetically. Her body had turned to putty beneath his careful hands and his hard cock. Another whimper passed between her parted lips as she climbed up to the top of her orgasms, teetering on the edge of something she’d never felt before.

Azriel brushed his mouth to the shell of her ear. “I’ve got you, baby. Let go for me.”

His gruff words were her undoing as Elain dove headfirst into the largest orgasm she’d ever experienced. She squeezed the hair between her fingers, hard enough that he grunted into her neck, but she didn’t let go—couldn’t let go as she fell, fell, fell, all while he fucked her ass harder and faster, prolonging her pleasure.

Her face was soaked with tears, body pulsing around his cock.

It only took another thrust or so before Azriel came with a shout, pushing himself as deep into her as he could go to spill inside of her, claiming her ass as his. Her body convulsed around him, taking everything he offered her and more.

The sweat between their bodies rolled over her skin, but she didn’t care. She was too far lost in her mind to worry about anything but how incredible she felt.

His hot breath panted over her shoulder as he gently laid her leg over her body, keeping her knee still bent. Grabbing his phone, he switched off the vibrator. Az gave her a while to catch her breath, before he murmured into her ear, “I’m going to pull everything out. Slow breaths, love.” The words rattled in her skull but didn’t fully register. She was too lost in the sensations.

Bringing her leg back up, he reached between her thighs and gently tugged out the toy. It didn’t stop the whimper from escaping her lips.

“Easy, baby. We’re almost finished,” he whispered, his voice velvety soft and covering her like a warm blanket.

Removing himself from her behind was another story. Her body clamped onto him, causing her to cry out from her sensitive hole.

He slowed his movements, stroking her hips soothingly. “Relax, El. I need you to relax.” His hands gently swept over her body, helping her body come down.

She did, inhaling deeply until he managed to pull himself free. Elain felt incredibly empty without him in her, missing it already, but was too exhausted for anything else tonight.

Azriel pulled himself from behind her, leaning over her body to kiss her cheek. “Don’t fall asleep. We need to clean up first. I’m going to start the bath.” Gripping her chin, he turned her head and dropped a kiss on her swollen lips, smiling down at her before padding into the bathroom.

Elain heard the water turn on and then him rummaging through the drawers, looking for something if she had to guess. Frankly, she didn’t care. She just wanted to sleep. But as soon as she started to drift off, Az was hauling her into his chest, her arms sliding around his neck.

The scalding water made her flinch when it touched her overly sensitive butt. She whimpered again, tightening her hold on him.

Az hushed her, murmuring sweet nothings into her ear as he slowly sank into the tub.

Fuck she was so sore, but the heat of the water felt so good too. She nuzzled into his neck before allowing him to twist her on his lap so she sat between his legs. Elain rested her head on his shoulder while he washed her down.

“You did so well tonight, love. I’m proud of you,” he told her, kissing her temple. “Are you feeling all right?”

Elain hummed in contentment. “Fine, just tired.”

His chuckle reverberated through her spine. “We’ll get to bed soon. I need to clean up the mess first and blow out all the candles. Do you think you can manage sitting in the tub a bit longer while I take care of that?”  

“Mhmm.” She had no energy for anything else.

His soft laughter chased her in her dreams. Elain felt him climb out from behind her, carefully laying her back against the edge. “Don’t fall asleep, El.”

Good luck with that, she wanted to say but couldn’t. Her eyes had already drifted shut, but she could hear him opening the slider to the small balcony, letting in the fresh air, and then collecting all the items from their bed. She peaked an eye open, seeing him drop the toys in the sink to clean them.

Az didn’t bother to dress, standing nude at the counter as he took care of everything.

Gods, she loved him. He always did everything for her so she never had to worry about anything after sex.

Turning to face her, he grabbed a towel and knelt by the edge of the tub. “All right, love. Can you stand for me so I can dry you off?” He popped the drain, gripping her under the elbow to help her to her feet.

Elain swayed dangerously, making him lurch to hold her under her arm so she didn’t slip.

Az dried her off as best as he could, tossing the wet towel over to the sink before lifting her back into his arms and carrying her into bed, sliding them both under the covers he had pulled down.

She snuggled into his chest, lips pressing over his heart where her name was permanently tattooed. “I love you, Azriel.”

He held her close kissing the top of her head. “Sleep, my beautiful wife.”

But she was already gone, pulled by exhaustion into a dreamless slumber.

~~~~~

Azriel woke to sunlight streaming in from the white curtains across the balcony slider. The rays reflected in Elain’s golden-brown hair, strewn across her pillow. His beautiful, naked wife was curled up on her side, her back pressed into his chest. He was pretty sure his left arm was completely dead, but he didn’t care. Not when he woke up to her every goddamn morning of every day.

She was his wife.

Fuck, she was his wife.

He couldn’t believe he got to call her that forever now. Az didn’t know who he should be thanking for it, but he sent up his prayers to anybody who would listen. His arms were banded around her, one across her chest, the other slung over her waist. He tightened his hold on her, nuzzling deeper into her jasmine and honey scent. She always smelled so good.

The faint laughter of their family told him that they should probably get up soon—join them for breakfast before the jet flew everyone home. He and Elain were going to stay here for a few days before starting on their three-week honeymoon. They were flying to the Winter District first, staying in this dome-like cabin under the northern lights. From there, they would travel to the Spring District to go through its impressive rose gardens. Elain had always wanted to see them and he was obliged to give that to her.

Three whole weeks to themselves. Three weeks of traveling across the country, taking in different sights, sounds, and tastes.

Speaking of tastes, Azriel was greedy for the delicate taste of his wife. Breakfast before breakfast, he told himself, leaning in to kiss her bare shoulder. When she didn’t stir, he moved further into the junction of her neck. He swept his hands over her body, the black band on his fourth finger catching the morning rays.

Elain shifted then, murmuring something in her sleep. Still, she didn’t fully wake.

So, he moved his lips to her nape, kissing her there and nudging his nose into her.

She sighed softly, rolling back into his chest to look up at him. Elain flashed him a sleepy smile. “Good morning, husband.” Her voice was a whisper on the morning breeze.

Gods, when she called him that…he had never felt happiness like this. “Good morning, wife,” he told her, tone husky as he leaned down to claim her lips.

Elain responded to his ministrations eagerly, allowing him to roll on top of her. Her fingers wove into his mussed hair. “What time is it?” she asked as he kissed down her throat to the center of her chest.

Az looked up at her, her brown eyes already dark with lust. “Mid to late morning if I had to take a guess. Everyone else is up. I can hear them.” His tongue darted out to lap at her nipple, sucking the point deep into his mouth.

She sucked in a breath, arching into him and pushing her breast further between his teeth. “Az,” she moaned.

He slipped further down her body, settling between her thighs. His thumb stroked her slit, feeling the wetness that had gathered there already. “Hush, love. You have to be quiet or our family is going to hear you while I enjoy my breakfast.”

At the first swipe of his tongue, Elain clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes screwing shut.

Azriel chuckled against her, throwing her legs over his shoulders and setting a brutal pace. He licked her entrance, plunging his tongue in and out of her, then slid up her slit to suck her clit.

Elain grabbed a handful of his hair, moaning against her palm as she writhed against his mouth, fucking herself on his tongue.

He loved when she took her pleasure from him, rode him to her heart’s content like she was doing now.

With her grip on him, Elain undulated her hips into him, positioning his mouth where she wanted him—needed him. When she tugged him to her clit, he sucked it hard, careening her into her orgasm.

She came with a muffled cry, body going limp into the mattress.

Swiping his tongue up her slit one more time, Azriel kissed his way back up her body, bringing his mouth to hers and letting her taste herself.

Elain hummed, hooking an ankle over his hip and flipping them over. Straddling his waist, she kissed him again. “My turn.” Following a similar path he took, Elain made her way down to his aching cock, at attention and eagerly waiting for his wife’s delectable mouth.

“Fuck, Elain,” he groaned at the first lick.

She smirked at him from between his legs. “Quiet now. You don’t want our family to hear you while I eat my breakfast,” Elain teased, repeating his words back to him.

“Let them,” he growled, sucking in a breath when she swallowed him whole. Fuck, he brushed the back of her throat in her bobbing. Azriel grabbed her hair, holding it at the back of her head and off his thighs. He wanted to watch her suck him.

And suck him she did. Elain’s cheeks hallowed, taking him deep into her mouth and swirling her tongue around his shaft. The warmth was fucking heavenly. “Baby, I’m going to come,” he warned her, feeling the pull low in his belly.

It should be embarrassing how quickly he’d orgasm when she put her mouth on him, but frankly, he didn’t care about staving off when she fucked him with her mouth. It felt too good to stop. “El…”

Feeling him at the precipice of his orgasm, she took him as deep as her throat would allow, finishing him off with a final draw from her mouth.

Az came with a groan, spilling down her throat.

Elain pulled off him with an audible pop, swallowing everything he gave her.

Fuck he loved her. He said as much, grabbing her under his arms and hauling her up his body to kiss her roughly. “You have no idea how much I want to be buried inside of you right now, but we should probably get down there to see the family off. I have housekeepers coming today to clean this place.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck. “We should definitely put away the toys from last night before they get here.”

He laughed, alerting the others to their woken state because a few minutes later, Cash was banging on the front door, shouting, “Lovebirds, get up! I’ve got breakfast ready.”

“We’re coming!” he growled back, making Elain giggle into his chest. “Come on wife, let’s get dressed.”

Half an hour later, they were cleaned up, dressed, and making their way across the yard to the back patio where his brother had served up a ton of food. Bacon, eggs, potatoes, toast, fruit, and every breakfast drink you could imagine.

Azriel pulled out a chair at the table for Elain, pushing her in before taking a seat next to her. He grabbed platters of food, piling various things onto her plate before his own.

“Elain, you look incredibly well-rested,” Cassian said.

He froze in the middle of scooping fruit, eying his brother in suspicion.

El blinked at his brother. “I am Cash. Thank you.”

He knew it wasn’t a compliment based on the tone of voice. “Cash, if you ever want to have children again, I suggest you not voice whatever is sitting on the tip of your tongue,” he warned.

His wife glanced at him, brows furrowed. “What?”

But Cassian just threw an arm around Nesta’s shoulders, smirking. “I’m just saying, if she’s well-rested, then you must’ve not done your job last night well enough.”

Elain’s cheeks turned pink at the comment, but before he could throw the platter at his ass of a brother, she said, “Cash, perhaps you shouldn’t be so boastful. You should know that women tell each other everything.” Elain propped her cheek on her fist, staring his brother down. “And I mean, everything.”

He glanced at her, unsure of whatever it was she had on his brother, but he was curious. And the look that Cash shot her was not one of pride, but rather one of caution.

“You don’t know anything,” he dared.

His wife’s smile was nothing short of chilling.

“Oh, really? I wouldn’t be so quick, to assume.”

Cassian’s face went pale and he whipped his head to Nesta who was trying not to smile, patting her daughter’s back. “You told her?!” he accused.

Nesta buried her face into the side of Sutton’s head, trying to hold back her laugh.

Feyre raised a glass across the table. “I can back, Elain.” The younger Archeron winked at his wife, sipping from her mimosa.

Cash gaped at the three women. “I can’t believe you told them,” he grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest like a petulant child.

Nesta patted his thigh. “It was years ago, babe. Who cares?”

“I care,” he muttered, looking put out.

Azriel reached under the table to grip Elain’s thigh, pouring her a mimosa from the pitcher on the table.

She slid her hand into his, lacing their fingers together. Picking up her glass, she clinked it on his, her smile brighter than pure sunshine.

He couldn’t stop himself from leaning down to kiss her, oblivious to the whoops and hollers from their family. Az ignored all of that and just let himself enjoy the moment with his gorgeous wife.

~~~

A few hours later, the newly married couple was lying on the beach, soaking up the sun’s warmth. He had dragged out two lounge chairs, sitting them side by side in the sand. Elain looked ridiculously good in her high-waisted bikini.

He had thoroughly ravished her body last night, her creamy skin plastered with his claiming marks. A few were covered by the swimsuit, but the ones on her neck, her ribcage, between the swells of her breasts remained visible.

Fuck she looked sexy covered in his bites.

And Elain didn’t seem to mind them showing, walking out of the house with the confidence of a queen.

Az had groaned at the sight of her. “I did a number on your body,” he’d told her.

She simply smirked, stating, “Perhaps you can add another one later.” Then she handed him the bottle of sunscreen and asked him to lather her back up.

He definitely did more than just her back, kneeling to cover her gorgeous legs, her toned arms, her ample chest, and her lithe waist. She laughed when his fingers slipped into her bikini top, asking him what he was doing. “Making sure my wife doesn’t get burned.”

Elain could only shake her head at his antics.

Laying out, she had tipped her floppy hat down, shading her face as she napped, the book she’d been reading discarded in the sand underneath her chair.

Noticing the pinkening on her stomach, Azriel got up, grabbing the bottle of sunscreen to rub more on her.

She jolted slightly at the contact.

“You’re getting pink,” he explained, spreading the white cream over her body. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Elain hummed, running her hand up his arm. Quick as a flash, she pulled his Ray Bans off his face.

He gave her an exasperated look. “What are you doing?” Az laughed.

“Here, you can wear mine,” she said, holding out her pink aviators to him and pushing his onto her nose.

Huffing, he grabbed hers from her outstretched hand and slid them onto his face. “How do I look?”

“Fabulous,” she said, grinning.

He grabbed her waist, hauling her over his shoulder and making her squeal.

“Azriel! What are you doing?” she laughed.

“Taking my wife swimming, that’s what.”

She smacked him on the butt. “Put me down!”

“No,” he said, popping her on the ass. “And believe me, baby, if you want to start the ass-smacking, I will win.”

Azriel should’ve known that her silence wasn’t her conceding, but that wicked little mind coming up with something truly devious. He hadn’t anticipated her grabbing his hips and biting him on the cheek.

A shout sounded from his throat, and he whipped her back over his shoulder to carry her bridal style. “You little minx. Did you just bite my ass?” He stared down at her in disbelief.

“I told you to put me down. It’s your fault,” she told him, smiling sweetly.

The heated look he shot her had her squirming in his arms. “Oh, I will get even for that later tonight.” His sensual promise had blood rushing to her cheeks. Despite his desire to turn around and carry her right up to the house and fuck her senseless, he continued into the cool water, setting her on her feet about thigh deep.

Elain bent at the waist, dragging her fingers in the waves. Giving him a feline smirk, she splashed him and took off running.

Stunned for a second, Azriel ran after his wife, following the sound of her joyful laugh. When he finally caught her, he kissed her like it was his last.

~~~~~

Remember, sharing is caring! Please reblog if you liked the fic. It helps spread my work and I truly appreciate it. 💕

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[tswaney17]

Happy Anniversary IDBTWY!! 🎉💕

“𝐻𝑒 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓃𝑒𝒹 𝓊𝓅 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒷𝓇𝓊𝓈𝒽𝑒𝒹 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓁𝒾𝓅𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒾𝓃 𝒶 𝓉𝑒𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇 𝓀𝒾𝓈𝓈, 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝑜𝓃𝑒 𝒽𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓊𝓅 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝓊𝓅 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝒸𝒽𝑒𝑒𝓀. 𝐻𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝓊𝓂𝒷 𝒷𝓇𝓊𝓈𝒽𝑒𝒹 𝒶𝓌𝒶𝓎 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓎 𝓉𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝑜𝓃 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝓀𝒾𝓃. ‘𝒴𝑜𝓊’𝓇𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝒶 𝑔𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉 𝓈𝓊𝓇𝑔𝑒𝑜𝓃, 𝐸𝓁𝒶𝒾𝓃. 𝐵𝓊𝓉 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝑔𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉 𝓈𝓊𝓇𝑔𝑒𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒸𝒶𝓃’𝓉 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝓈𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝒷𝑜𝒹𝓎.’” -IDBTWY Chapter 9

For the 3rd Anniversary of “𝙄 𝘿𝙤 𝘽𝙖𝙙 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙔𝙤𝙪” I commissioned this scene by the incredible @sncinder. I chose this moment specifically because this is one of the major turning points in Azriel and Elain’s relationship in this fic. When they both kind of figure out how to be a part of each other’s lives and begin feeling those old flames again.

This story holds such a special place in my heart. I’m very excited to be finishing up writing the last few parts and you can expect to see more frequent updates coming soon. 😘

@sncinder was such a joy to work with. She is such a talented artist, and I’ve been saying to myself that I had to commission her for IDBTWY at some point, and I’m so happy with how amazing this turned out. It’s even better than my imagination. Thank you, my friend, for this beautiful artwork. You were so lovely to work with. 💜

𝗗𝗼 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗥𝗲𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁

🎨 @sncinder | Comm. by me

Characters belong to Sarah J. Maas

[tswaney17]

I Do Bad Things with You - Part 40

Ask and you shall receive. 😏 I've been sitting on this update for a while now and I can't believe it's time to share it. We are so close to the end of this fic and it just floors me completely how far this story has come. 🥺 On a side note, I have something very special coming for the 3rd anniversary coming in July. Stay tuned for more! 💙💚💜

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​​​

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💕

Catch up here.

Credit to @featherymalignancy for Cassian’s nickname, Cash. 😘

Trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault , language, NSFW

Word Count: 9,125

A few weeks after their getaway, Azriel was ready to pop the question. He took the day off to prep the penthouse, asking for help from Rhys and Feyre in setting up seeing as Nesta and Cassian were locked down at home in prepping for their newest arrival as they approached Nesta’s due date. He ordered an atrocious number of flowers (as Elain would likely put it), both red roses and blush-colored peonies alike. Even went as far as requesting cases of rose petals to line the walkway from the elevator to the piano. It would be a mess to clean up but she was worth every effort.

He and Rhys had managed to swivel the instrument around so it faced the elevator doors rather than the window so he could watch her as he played. At least a hundred candles were sporadically placed about the room and kitchen, giving off enough light to see clearly while having the regular ones turned off.

It was every shade of romantic. And, of course, he didn’t want to miss getting her reaction on film, so he grabbed a few of the small cameras from work and hid them amongst the décor to capture her and him from multiple angles.

Everything was perfect—exactly how he envisioned the proposal. His siblings bid him goodbye, once they finished helping him, not wanting to get caught by Elain when she made her way home.

He was just sprinkling the last of the rose petals on the floor, already in his most expensive suit and tie when Fenrys texted him and told him they had just left the hospital.

Azriel’s nerves kicked up—such an unusual emotion for him to experience. It’s not like he thought Elain wouldn’t say yes, but they never had really talked about marriage aside from those blind statements about being the only one for each other back when they first got back together. He wanted to make it a complete surprise, hence the at-home proposal rather than getting her dressed up to go out. Azriel had no worries that Elain wouldn’t care about whether she was in some dress or a pair of scrubs.

He checked his pocket for the fifth time since he had gotten dressed, verifying the box was still inside. The ring itself was stunning. There really was no other way to describe it. Rose-gold in color, it was large, though not ostentatious enough that Elain would be hesitant to accept it. The band looked like a vine, with leaves at the top, framing a three-tiered diamond center. It was masterfully crafted to look like a flower, something he specified when he helped design it. The ring was intricate, one-of-a-kind, and hands down the most beautiful piece of jewelry he’d ever laid his eyes on.

Az took a seat at the piano, stretching his fingers as he waited. The ding of his phone announced that Elain was in the elevator on her way up to the penthouse. Taking a deep breath, Azriel set his scarred fingers on the keys and began to play.

The doors pinged open and she stepped out slowly. Even from across the room, he could see the emotions on her face. Surprise at first. Maybe a little disbelief. And then the realization of what was happening. Silver lined her incredible doe eyes as she looked across the room at him.

And then, he started to sing.

What would I do without your smart mouth? Drawing me in and you kicking me out. You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down. What's going on in that beautiful mind? I'm on your magical mystery ride. And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, But I'll be alright.

Elain strolled closer, having dropped her bag on the floor without a care in the world. Tears were rolling down her flushed cheeks as he continued singing.

'Cause all of me, Loves all of you. Love your curves and all your edges, All your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you. You're my end and my beginning, Even when I lose, I'm winning.

Azriel sang with every inflection of his voice. Every piece of his heart was put out on display for her. His love, his joy, and his dedication to her mixed into the words he poured from his very soul.

I give you all of me. And you give me all of you, oh oh.

And when he was finished, she was crying in earnest at the side of the piano, fingertips covering her mouth. He slid off the bench, standing in front of her before sinking onto a single knee.

Elain choked out a sob. The emotion, the love on her face was enough to make his heart stop.

Azriel gave her a broad smile. “Elain Violet Archeron—my love. You have always been the brightest shining star in my life. From the moment I met you, I knew you were going to be someone special in my life. Little did I know that the girl that I sat next to in biology, the one that I pegged with a soccer ball in gym class would one day become the love of my life.

“I have never met anyone as kind as you. As generous and loving. As resilient as you. Despite all that we’ve been through—and knowing this proposal is coming over a decade late—we’ve built this incredible, beautiful, beyond-my-wildest-dreams life together. There isn’t anyone else I would rather share it with.” He flicked open the box, enticing a gasp from her chest. “So, my sweet, my love, my Elain… Would you do the absolute honor of marrying me?”

Elain fell to her knees, weeping, and clutched him to her. “Az,” she croaked, barely able to get the words out.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her up as her body shook from the force of her sobs. Kissing her temple, he waited until she calmed down enough to speak.

“I can’t believe you did all of this…” she murmured, sniffing and wiping the tears from her eyes.

Cupping the side of her face, Azriel brought their lips together for a gentle kiss. “You deserve all of this and more, El.”

She laughed softly. “Who knew you were such a romantic.”

“Well, this romantic is still waiting for an answer to my question.” He needed her to answer more than he needed oxygen in his lungs. Blood in his heart.

Those beautiful, brown eyes, shining bright with golden hues flicked up to his face. “Yes.” A broad grin overtook her face. “My answer is yes. It has always been yes.”

Seizing her mouth in a ferocious kiss, Azriel pushed his utter bliss, his love and devotion, his overwhelming need for her into that single moment. Kissing her was like tasting spring. It was lovely and sweet and warm.

It was home.

Azriel had found his home in her, and he vowed to himself to never let anyone take that away from him.

She gripped his shirt, pulling him harder against her before she flattened her palm on his chest, clearing her throat in an indication that he should put the ring on her.

He did just that, removing the ring from the box and sliding it over her finger. It fit perfectly. “You know, this is the first time you haven’t complained about receiving jewelry from me.” It was a terrible joke, but Elain laughed.

“Would you like me to complain?” she teased.

A nervousness touched his face, something he knew she picked up on. “If you don’t like it, then yes.”

Elain cupped his cheeks between her palms, the coolness of the ring a stark contrast to his heated skin. “Azriel, I love it. It’s beyond anything I ever pictured myself wearing. Wherever did you find it?”

His thumb swept under the back of her scrub, finding the soft skin of her spine. “I had it custom-made with my specifications. I wanted you to have something that was uniquely yours. That nothing similar would ever sit on somebody else’s hand.”

Crawling onto his lap until her knees were slotted on either side of his hips, she stroked his cheek with her fingers, leaning forward to kiss him softly. “You are, without a doubt, the most thoughtful man I have ever met. And this ring,” she held her hand between them, “is the most gorgeous thing I have ever laid my eyes on. But it means even more to me because you had a hand in its creation. I will never stop questioning what I have done to deserve you.”

He pressed her palm to his chest, over his heart. Let her feel its thundering beat. “You deserve better than me, Elain. But I will spend the rest of my life trying to prove to you that you made the right choice in me.”

“We deserve each other, Azriel. You are my life, my always.” Like she needed to prove it to him, she kissed him, melting into his embrace as she pushed his suit jacket off his shoulders and then started working on his tie, loosening it to pull it over his head.

Sensing where her intentions were going, he stopped her from shrugging off her scrub top. “Hang on,” he breathed heavily against her lips. “I have cameras set up around the penthouse to capture the proposal on video. Let me turn those off before we do anything.” Az rose on his knees, lifting them up slightly to reach into his pocket for his phone.

But Elain’s hand on his wrist had him freezing, and looking back into her eyes. “Leave them on.”

Surprise had his brows shooting into his hairline.

She slid her fingers back into the hair at his nape. “I want to record this entire moment. Just for us. Please, Az…”

Her nails scratched at his scalp, sending shivers down his spine. He would’ve asked her if she was sure about it, knowing a sex video was a very personal, dangerous thing to commit to. But looking at her face, he didn’t need to. Az could read the unending trust, the assuredness of her answer without her having to voice it. So, he set his phone on the ground, gripped the hem of her scrub top, and pulled it over her head.

Elain’s fingers went to his shirt, flying down the buttons to help him shrug out of the garment.

It took some maneuvering, but they managed to get each other undressed and her back onto his lap, him on his knees. His cock was hard and aching to be sunk into her warm, wet heat, but Az took his time to worship her body. Kissing her neck and delicate collarbones, sucking marks everywhere he went. His teeth grazed her pert nipple, suckling it until her back arched and she moaned, low and throatily.

Elain’s hair cascaded down her back, tangling in his fingers gripping her and keeping her pressed into him. She pushed her pelvis forward, rubbing him between her legs and producing just the right friction that had them both groaning. “Az,” she whined. “Please…” Her scrunched-up face of pleasure was the sexiest, most adorable thing.

“What do you need, Elain?” he breathed against the shell of her ear. “Tell me what you need.” Azriel licked that sensitive spot behind her ear making her shudder in his arms.

She clutched him, fingers gripping him hard enough that his tanned skin would be peppered with little bruises.

Fuck he loved wearing her marks on his body.

Fingers gripping his hair, she let out this needy little sound that had his balls tightening. It was like his body was wired to her touch, her presence, the cute little noises she made when they were hot and heavy. Just a simple sigh from her lips could have him hardening in his pants in the most pathetic way. He was utterly a goner for her. Mind, body, and soul, he was hers and she was his.

“I need you,” she cried, tugging on his hair.

It wasn’t enough for him. “You have me, El. I’m right here, love,” he murmured into the skin of his neck.

Elain made a growling sound, her hands in his hair tightening and forcing him to look up at her. Her eyes were blown wide with lust, wholly dark with just a ring of brown around her pupils. “I need you inside me, Az. I need your cock. Fuck me, please!”

“Good fucking girl,” he groaned, slipping his fingers between them and circling her entrance. “Fuck, Elain. You’re so wet and needy for me, aren’t you?”

His touch had her crying out, hips undulating and grinding against his hand. “Now, Azriel,” she demanded.

Who was he to deny his queen—no. His fiancée… His large hands engulfed her rear, lifting her. “Put me where you want me, love.”

Elain reached between them, grabbing his cock in her small hand and pumping him twice, spreading the slick that had rubbed on it from between her legs. She lined him up and slowly sank, taking him inch by glorious inch, filling her, stretching her fluttering passage until he was completely submerged in her wet pussy.

He held her still, giving her those few moments to adjust to his size, and if he were being honest, the time he needed to collect himself so he didn’t bust a nut upon their initial joining. He always had to take a few moments to catch his breath when he first entered her. She just fit him so damn well, like she was fucking made for him. Azriel had been with a lot of women but never had anyone felt as heavenly as Elain. “Fuck me, El. You’re so goddamn tight.”

Her breaths grazed his neck as she buried her face into the junction of his shoulder. “I can see you inside me,” she whispered like she was trying so hard not to come right there too.

You and me both, baby, he almost said. Instead, he looked down between them, and sure as fuck, there was a bulge in her lower abdomen, his dick imprinting itself in her body. “Jesus fuck,” he groaned. He released one hand from her ass and placed his palm over the bulge, adding pressure to it.

Elain moaned, her arms tightening around his neck as she held him closer to her.

“Ride me, El.”

On shaky legs, she rose until only his tip remained inside of her and slowly sank back down. The sensation of the added pressure was indescribable. His name tumbled from her lips in the most delectable sound.

He guided her into slow thrusts down onto him, wanting to make this more about intimacy than just fucking. Elain’s high sex drive often had them fucking quick and hard. The rare times when he’d slow them down because he wanted to make love to her too were some of his favorites. The tenderness of their fingers linked while he rolled his hips into hers, their constant eye contact. Azriel wanted this one to be like that. So, when she started to pick up her pace, he slowed her back down with his palm cradling her behind. “It’s not a race, baby. Take your time.”

Elain’s gorgeous eyes blinked open, understanding why he wanted to take it slowly. She cupped his face between her palms, her engagement ring sparkling in the candlelight, and kissed him. It was heated, but it wasn’t the clash of teeth and tongues like they normally did when they had sex. Pacing herself, she rode him leisurely, savoring every inch of him, every pass of his cock over the spot deep inside her.

He twisted his hand still pressed to her abdomen so he could circle her clit with his thumb.

Her body shuddered and she broke off their kiss to whimper. With her forehead pressed to his, he could watch every twitch of her face. “Azriel,” she drawled out the syllables of his name. “I’m so—so close. Don’t stop.”

Drawing her lips in for another kiss, he breathed into her mouth. “Never.”

It only took a few more strokes down his cock until she crested into her orgasm, her sweet pussy fluttering around his member and drawing him to his pleasure.

Elain’s arm reached down the middle of his back, nails digging into his tattooed skin and clawing him as her release washed over her. She clung to him like he would be ripped from her. But like hell was anything ever coming between them again.

He would burn the entire world to the ground for her.

Azriel used his strength to slide her up and down his cock, prolonging their combined pleasure and pushing his seed deep inside of her. She’d be leaking it for hours after much to his masculine pride and male satisfaction.

Her body went limp against his chest as she panted heavily, fingers tangling in the hair at his nape. “My fiancé,” she grinned into his neck.

He chuckled lightly. “Fiancée does have a nice ring to it, but I can’t fucking wait to call you my wife.”

The soft, feminine laugh she let out brightened up the darkest corners of his heart, his soul until he was flooded with light. “My future husband,” she corrected. Her fingers danced along his jaw. “I love you, Azriel. Wherever life takes us, I’m blessed to have you by my side through it all. Now and forever.”

Capturing his mouth in a searing kiss, he gently laid her down on the floor. “My heart, my body, my soul is yours, Elain. Only and always yours.”

Covering her with his massive frame, Azriel made love to his future wife over and over again until she was utterly spent and blissfully happy.

~~~~~

It had been a month and a half since their engagement, and the entire time had been a blur for Elain. Aside from getting engaged, which she was ecstatic about, Nesta and Cassian welcomed their baby girl to the world.

They had their baby shower just three weeks before her arrival, inviting many of Nesta’s friends and coworkers and a few of Cassian’s. Azriel had been exceptionally affectionate during the whole ordeal, even going as far as to lift her off the couch and sit down, placing her on his lap.

It was a little bizarre to her, Azriel typically keeping most of his endearing affections to the privacy of their home. This overt display of it had her finally asking him what he was doing.

“Nesta’s paralegal hit on me at the grocery store a few months ago,” he told her, wrapping his arms around her.

Elain glanced towards the young girl, whom she had noticed was giving her fiancé heated looks throughout the shower. “Are you scared of her?” she teased.

Az nipped at her jaw with his teeth. “No, brat. I just want to make sure she knows I am happily taken.”

She slid her left hand to his cheek, making sure her diamond ring was on display. “Don’t worry, my love. I’ll keep you safe.” And then she kissed him in a way that was highly inappropriate for a baby shower, but it did the trick. The girl stopped making eyes at her man for the remainder of the party.

And then three weeks later, her niece was born.

Sutton Mazaei was the most beautiful little girl she had ever seen. With Cassian’s dark hair and skin tone and Nesta’s blue-grey eyes, she was guaranteed to be a showstopper when she was older, much to Cassian’s dismay.

“She’s never dating,” he had said to her and Azriel when they visited them at the hospital.

Elain took careful notice of how her fiancé acted when she placed her in his arms. Was it cliché to say her uterus pulsed at the sight of him holding a baby? He looked honestly terrified about having something so small and precious in his hands. She wasn’t sure if she should ask him about it or not, so she didn’t, taking the bundle back when he offered.

Now she was at the grocery store, having offered to go get the new parents some supplies while they enjoyed their new little one. It was her day off, but she pre-coordinated with the Moonbeam twins to come with her, knowing that Azriel was still nervous about the silence from Elias.

They were in the produce section when she heard her name being called.

“Elain! Elain Archeron!”

Turning around, she saw Clare Beddor, her old coworker from the bank, waving at her.

“Clare!” she grinned, excusing herself from the twins and making her way over to her old friend. Well, a friend was a strong word for their relationship. Acquaintance felt like a better description of what they were.

The brunette pulled her into a hug. “It’s been well over a year since I last saw you,” she gushed. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” Elain said honestly. “I’ve been busy with work. And my sister just had a baby. I’m shopping for her and her hus—”

“Oh, my god,” she interrupted, snatching Elain’s left hand. “Look at the size of that ring! You’re engaged?” Clare shouted, causing a few heads to turn in her direction. “Whom are you engaged to that can afford a rock like this?” She eyeballed the two men with her. “Is it one of them? Please tell me it’s not the golden blond because I’d climb him like a cat in a tree.”

Elain looked over her shoulder at the two males who were obviously pretending they weren’t listening to the entire conversation; saw the slight hue on Fenrys’s cheeks. She softly laughed. “No, they’re… well, they’re a part of my security team.”

Clare’s eyes went wide. “You have a security team? Mother, Elain. Whom are you marrying?”

“Um,” she hesitated. “His name is Azriel.”

Recognition flared in those green eyes. “Wait… You’re telling me you bagged Azriel Knight? The Azriel Knight? Multi-millionaire Azriel Knight? That Azriel Knight?”

“You know it’s weird that you keep saying his full name.”

One of the reasons that Elain tolerated Clare, but didn’t consider her a friend was one—she was a notorious gossip, and two—she was judgmental as hell. She saw the shift in the other woman’s features that had her taking a small step back. Without even seeing them, she knew Fenrys and Connall took note of that step and slowly shifted to face them.

“How the hell did you bag him?”

It was a derogative question, but Elain let it slide. “We dated in high school and reconnected about a year ago.” She didn’t need to tell her what exactly brought them crashing back together.

Clare crossed her arms, judgment radiating off her entire form. “Well, you’ll have to introduce me to his brothers. He has some, right?”

Oh boy. Typical Clare and her hunt for men. “He does. Adoptive ones, however, they’re married to my sisters.”

The woman scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Like always, you Archerons take every good bachelor in this god’s forsaken city. Nesta had Cassian wrapped around her finger in high school. And now you’re engaged to the most eligible bachelor in Velaris. Did you leave anything for the rest of us mere mortals?”

The utter disdain in her voice had Elain recoiling. It was enough to have the Moonbeam twins come up to her and try and herd her away. But like hell was she going to let her have the last word. “Last time I checked, Clare, we’re not responsible for your love life. If you want to find a decent man, perhaps you should present yourself as a less judgmental person.” Shock rippled across her face at Elain’s comments, but she didn’t let that deter her. “Take care.”

Fenrys placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her away from the fuming woman back over to their cart. “She seems pleasant,” he muttered once they were out of earshot.

Elain snorted. “Understatement of the century.”

“How do you know her?” Connall asked from a step behind them, guarding her back.

“We worked at the bank together but she went to school with my sisters and me. Graduated a year ahead of Nesta and Cash.”

“She seemed plenty interested in you, brother,” the dark-haired twin sniped, clapping Fen on the shoulder.

Elain whipped her head to look up at the other twin. “Please, no. Clare’s not good company to keep.” She stopped in the drink aisle, grabbing a few energy drinks for Cassian. The dark circles under his eyes told her he could use a caffeine boost as he did everything he could to support his wife.

“Jealous, Archeron?” Fen teased grinning down at her.

She shook her head, huffing a laugh. “No, but I do know somebody for you if you’re interested.” Since Azriel’s proposal, it seemed Fenrys had finally gotten a grip on his feelings for her, falling back into the more friendly nature of their relationship rather than the strict, professional setting they had regressed to for months.

Those bright eyes lit up in surprise. “You do?”

Elain nodded, pushing the cart forward and making it seem like she was a bit aloof to his eagerness. “Mhmm. She’s a recently graduated nurse. Very beautiful. Dark brown hair and these emerald green eyes. Kind, courageous, and incredibly smart. I think she would suit you.”

He stopped her with a hand on his shoulder. “What is her name?”

A smile tugged on her lips. “Lysandra. Her name is Lysandra Ennar.” She watched him mouth the name like he was tasting it on his tongue. Reaching for the pack of Cassian’s preferred energy drinks, she said, “I’ll introduce you two next week.” Glancing back at the tall male, Elain swore she saw a blush dusting his cheeks when he ducked his head. Yeah, they would be really cute together.

~~~

“A little birdy told me that you set up my new nurse with Fenrys,” Viviane cooed as they made their way toward the front of the hospital.

Elain flashed her an innocent look. “Should I not have?”

The head nurse raised a brow. “I don’t see him going anywhere soon; I just want to make sure he’s not going to use her and break her heart. I don’t need her quitting right after we hired her. You know I need the hands, Ellie.”

She could understand her friend’s concern, but it wasn’t fair to judge Fenrys without knowing him. “Don’t fret about them. Fen seemed really interested in her and they hit it off when I introduced them a few days ago. I don’t think that’s what this is.”

Viv looked like she was going to say something else, but didn’t as they approached the hospital lobby and found said man waiting for her. “Afternoon ladies. Good day?”

Elain smiled at him. “It was, thanks, Fen.”

He ushered them both outside, listening to the two girls chatted about the most bizarre case of the day when they were ambushed by an influx of people.

“ELAIN ARCHERON! ELAIN CAN WE GET A QUOTE!”

Flashes blinded her. She startled, like a deer caught in the headlights, then cried out when they surged forward, curling into her friend. Their shouts echoed around them like church bells ringing.

Viviane grabbed her arm while Fenrys barked out, “Get back!”

“HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING AZRIEL KNIGHT? WHEN IS THE WEDDING?”

She had no idea how the paparazzi found out about their engagement, but their swarming her had her panic rising. Elain gripped Viviane’s hand, especially when they started reaching for her, trying to pull her away from the nurse and Fenrys. Her anxiety made it hard to breathe, the air coming out in quick, short pants. And then she heard him.

“Move.” Azriel’s thundered, midnight voice and his presence had the crowd parting. He towered over most of the mob making it easy for her to spot him. The look of utter wrath on his face had some people stepping back; others fled outright. He made a beeline straight for her, pulling her from Viviane and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Head down,” he told her.

Elain had no hesitation about hiding in his embrace, fist clutching his shirt.

“MR. KNIGHT! TELL US ABOUT THE WEDDING!” the paparazzi called out, chasing after them like a hive of pissed-off bees.  

Azriel ignored them, tugging her to his other car where Cerridwen already had the back door open for her. “Get in,” he said, voice softening as he spoke to her.

She climbed in, letting him shut the door behind her once securely inside, and quickly made his way to the other side. As soon as he was inside, Cerridwen took off, the other car with the Moonbeam twins following close behind. Elain let herself be pulled across the seat into Az’s lap, him not giving a shit about the seatbelt or the law.

He cupped her face in his scarred palms and let his thumb swoop over the apples of her cheeks. “Are you all right?”

Physically? Yes, she was fine. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her breathing was still short, but overall, she was fine. Mentally, however, was another story. Elain nodded. “I’m okay.”

It was obvious he didn’t believe her, but let her white lie slide.

“What are you doing here?” she asked instead.

He grabbed something from the door and handed it to her. “Nuala saw this at the store this afternoon. I had a feeling you were going to be ambushed.”

It was the same magazine that blasted them on the cover after the fundraiser, and there they were again. Az’s portrait was front and center, taking up most of the front page. A small image of them walking into and out of the fundraiser was placed over it like a collage. She read through the headline.

Velaris’s Most Eligible Bachelor: Off the Market? Azriel Knight of Knight Securities engaged to Dr. Elain Archeron of Velaris Medical Center.

Elain flipped open the magazine to the article.

Sorry, ladies. He’s taken. Azriel Knight of Knight Securities is rumored to be engaged with Dr. Elain Archeron, a surgeon at Velaris Medical Center. Elain is the sister of the world-renowned artist, Feyre Archeron (married Rhysand Archeron [Knight]), and prominent defense attorney, Nesta (Archeron) Mazaei (married Cassian Mazaei).

No confirmation has been received by Knight’s team.

So, who is Elain Archeron? Born and raised in Velaris, she attended Velaris High and went to…

She closed the article, her skin going cold at how they blasted their lives in some sleazy tabloid.

Azriel rested his palm on her thigh, thumb stroking. “I will find out who leaked our engagement, Elain.”

But Elain didn’t need him to find out. Because she already knew who leaked it. “I think it was me,” she whispered, looking down at her fingers tangled in her lap. They hadn’t planned on announcing to the press yet, knowing they would eventually have to with Az’s status. It wasn’t something they could just sweep under the rug and wanted to be in control of the situation.

Gentle fingers gripped her chin and turned her face up to look at him. “Talk to me, love.”

Elain breathed heavily, shoulders drooping. “A few days ago, you remember I ran into my old coworker at the grocery store?” He nodded. “Well, she saw the ring on my hand and started asking all these questions, wanting to know whom I was engaged to. I just said your first name, but she seemed to put it together based on the size of the ring and your name. She’s a fairly aggressive person when she wants something and blames others for her failures.” Guilt washed over her. “I snapped. She must’ve gone to the press with the information for a quick buck. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, El. She took our private information and sold it. This is, unfortunately, a common issue when living in the spotlight. So we didn’t get to announce it the way we wanted to. Oh well. I’ll have my team work up something for us and we can go over it together.”

She threw her arms around his neck as they pulled into the garage under their building. “I’m fine with that. Thank you, Azriel. I didn’t mean to create more work for your team.”

He waved her off. “Don’t even worry about it. This is literally what I pay them for.” He kissed the side of her head shuffling her off his lap so he could open the door and help her out.

Fenrys and Connall parked next to them, climbing out of the car.

“What the hell is going on?” the former demanded.

Elain knew he probably felt blind-sighted by the commotion outside the hospital, and maybe a little responsible that he couldn’t control the situation.

“Our engagement was leaked. The press is hounding us for a statement.”

“Mr. Knight, we apologize for not being more prepared. I didn’t even see them outside when I went to get the car for Elain.”

Azriel waved a hand. “They know I’m difficult to capture—I’m notorious for getting around them. So, I’m not surprised they hid to get something from her. They probably assumed I would’ve coached her into being like me.”

“We won’t be caught unawares again,” Connall told him with determination.

Elain went wide-eyed. “Again? You think this is going to become a regular occurrence?”

Her fiancé gripped her hip in comfort. “Unfortunately, yes. I don’t see them backing down anytime soon. So, we’ll need a different plan of attack to get you in and out of the hospital.”

“There’s a back door entrance,” she announced. “It’s typically used by vendors for shipments, but I can get in with my keycard.”

Fenrys grinned. “We like backdoor entrances a lot.”

Az nodded in agreement. “I think that’s a good idea, at least for now. Hopefully, they’ll get tired of trying to capture you in about a week or so.”

Elain laid her head on his bicep, wishing for that too.

~~~

Two months.

It had been two months since the incident with the paparazzi and Elain was still using the back door to get into and out of the hospital unseen. They had even taken it upon themselves to flood the lobby a few times trying to snap her photo, catching her once or twice and inserting her on the cover of that damn magazine. They dug into her past, blasting her sexual assault case into the public and how Graysen essentially walked from it, pulling him into the limelight.

His father filed a defamation suit against her for it, which Azriel’s lawyers aggressively shot down. And though Nesta was still on maternity leave, even she was on the phone harassing the press about privacy and threatening to turn the Nolan name to mud if they so much as even breathed Elain’s name again.

She could barely sleep; was constantly woken up with nightmares of absolutely everything. It was thoroughly exhausting. And poor Azriel was desperately trying to keep her calm, always sitting up with her at night when those dreams plagued her until he could coax her back to sleep.

Everything about the situation was absolutely ridiculous.

“It’s only going to get worse,” she said, leaning against Azriel’s desk. He was currently going back and forth with his PR team about how they should navigate the whole ordeal since none of them had expected this to last for as long as it had. “The physical wedding might put them into an actual feral frenzy.”

Azriel pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning in frustration, and shoved his chair back from his desk. He turned to look at her and something about the way he did so made her gut churn with anxiety. “You still want to get married, right?” The hesitation, the nervousness in his voice told her just how scared he was that all of this might have changed her mind about him.

Elain moved, perching herself on his lap. “Yes, Azriel. Of course, I still want to get married. Nothing—and I mean nothing—would ever stop me from wanting to marry you.”

He breathed out a sigh of relief, wrapping an arm around her waist and tugging her closer to his chest. “I’m going to have to add security for the wedding. There’s just no way our current team can hold back this mob.”

She stroked a finger down his chest. “What if they didn’t know when or where we were getting married?”

Those beautiful hazel eyes glanced down at her, indicating that she should elaborate.

“What if we eloped?” she asked, voice hushed.

“Don’t,” he said adamantly. “Don’t do that. Don’t let them take away our wedding.” His hands twisted her body on him, forcing her leg over his hips to straddle his lap.

Elain took his face between her palms, her diamond ring glinting in the sunlight coming in from the floor-to-ceiling windows. “Azriel…We don’t need a huge wedding. The only thing I need is you standing by my side as we say ‘I do.’”

“You deserve to have the wedding of your dreams, Elain. I want to give that to you.”

She swiped her thumb across his cheek. “You have given me everything, Az. Everything and more. I never wanted a giant wedding. That was never my dream. I’m too simplistic to have desired something like that—you know that.” She paused, debating if she should say the rest. “Graysen wanted a big wedding. He wanted the three hundred guests and the attention from it. So, he was planning the monstrosity of a party, and frankly, I dreaded the whole idea of it. The only thing I need, the only thing I want is just to be married to you.” She leaned forward to kiss him softly. “So, whether we get married at the courthouse or here on the balcony, it doesn’t matter to me. I just want to be your wife.”

Azriel surged forward, capturing her mouth in a heated kiss. “How did I end up with you as my fiancée?” he asked, groaning against her lips.

Elain giggled. “Sheer persistence and ungodly attractiveness.”

He barked out a laugh, throwing his head back and exposing his throat. His amber eyes sparkled with mirth. “You’re sure about this, El?” he asked her, always checking to make sure she was certain of her decisions.

“I’m sure.” There wasn’t an ounce of hesitation in her voice.

A smile cracked across his face. “We’re not getting married at the courthouse. That I refuse. You deserve much better than the goddamn courthouse. And we’re not getting married at our place.”

She rolled her eyes at his insistence—honestly, she didn’t care where they got married, only that they did. But as she looked at his face, an idea struck her. “What about on the beach? In the Summer District? We could take the jet; invite our siblings, though I’m not sure if Nesta and Cassian will come because Sutton is so little.”

He tugged her closer into his chest, scarred fingers finding their way under her shirt to stroke her bare skin. “I think a beach wedding is exactly what we need.”

“During the sunset, at dusk,” she told him.

A chuckle passed his lips. “Of course. Whatever your heart desires, it shall be.” He leaned forward to kiss her neck, teeth scraping the soft skin. “Now for a date—when do you wish to be married, my love?”

It was hard to concentrate when he ravished her with his mouth, but she forced her mind to focus. “Next month?”

That had him pulling back to look at her face, eyes going wide. “Next month? Are you sure?”

The hopefulness in his tone nearly broke her heart. “Yes, Azriel. I want to be your wife and you my husband already. The sooner the better.”

“I fucking love you, Elain Archeron.” His mouth crashed to hers in a bruising kiss. It was hot, all teeth and tongue. “I can’t wait to take your last name.”

“You’re what?” she spluttered between his kisses.

“Azriel Archeron has a lovely ring to it, don’t you think,” he admitted like he had thought about this a lot.

She blinked. Was he serious? “Azriel, I can’t let you just take my name.”

He frowned. “Why not?”

“Because you have an entire empire behind your last name. How would it look if Azriel Archeron was the head of Knight Securities?”

The man scoffed. “You think I care about that? It’s still my company. Besides, there’s no way I’m letting you change your name when you have a medical degree associated with it. You earned that, Elain. It’s Doctor Archeron, not Doctor Knight.”

Shit… He had thought about it. A lot, clearly. Secretly, Elain adored Azriel Archeron—AA. But she didn’t want to erase his name completely. Her fingers toyed with the hair at his nape. “What about a compromise?”

His brow raised. “I’m listening.”

“We hyphenate. Knight-Archeron.”

Az pursed his lips. “No.” Surprise lit her features, then melted when he continued. “Archeron-Knight. Your name comes first.”

Her eyes soften as she looked at this gorgeous, kind, completely beautiful man. “Azriel and Elain Archeron-Knight. It sounds perfect.”

He closed the distance between them, sharing a special, intimate moment between them. “How about I show the future Mrs. Archeron-Knight just exactly what that name does to me?”

With barely a thought, Azriel had her out of her shirt, bare from the waist up. His mouth went right for her breast, sucking her nipple deep until her back arched, a sultry moan passing between her parted lips.

But Elain had other ideas, halting the progression of his lips. When he looked at her curiously, she flashed a little smirk. “I have other ideas.” Rolling her hips down onto his, she slipped off his lap, stripped out of her bottoms and underwear, and knelt on the floor between his legs. “You’re going to let the future Mrs. Archeron-Knight show you exactly how much you mean to her.” Raising herself on her knees, Elain dropped a kiss on his hardening cock, still confined by pants.

Azriel hissed, threading a scarred hand in her thick locks. “Baby, you’re too fucking good to me.”

Elain had never really enjoyed giving blowjobs. Graysen liked receiving them but he never reciprocated after she finished him. But after that night when she had given one to Azriel, she found that she enjoyed it. She liked giving him pleasure, hearing just how much she affected him and the praise that tumbled from his lips made her eager to get her mouth on his cock. It also didn’t hurt that he tasted fucking good—as weird as it sounded.

He didn’t often let her go down on him, always wanting to save himself to sink his hard member into her wet heat. But when he did give in to her, she fucking devoured him.

Reaching up, she popped the button on his jeans and tugged down his fly. She slid her hand in, stroking his cock twice before tugging his pants and boxers down to his knees. Looking at Azriel’s erect cock was always a sight to behold. His sheer size, the vein feeding it always made her mouth go dry.

“You looking at my cock like it’s a fucking meal is about to make me combust, El,” he groaned, fisting the hold on her hair.

Elain gripped him tightly, earning a heavenly sigh from his parted lips. Licking him like her personal lollipop, she wasted no time in engulfing him with her lips.

“Fuck, baby,” he moaned, using her hair as leverage to control the speed and depth of her bobbing.

She worked him deep into her throat, breathing steadily through her nose as he pushed her farther and farther down. Elain relaxed the muscles of her neck until he slipped past her mouth and she gagged, spit drooling from her lips and onto her hand. Her fingers twisted, sliding over the rest of his hard member that she couldn’t fit into her mouth.

Elain sucked, cheeks hollowing as she pulled that pleasurable sensation from deep in his gut. He was getting close, she could tell by the sounds that came from him, how his fist seemed to tighten further in her hair, how his cock twitched between her lips.

Just when she was about to slide him down her throat, they heard it. The distinct sound of the elevator doors opening.

She tugged him out of her mouth with an audible pop, eyes widening in alarm when Rhys’s voice echoed down the hallway.

“Azriel?” he called out.

Elain snatched her clothes from the ground and scrambled under his desk, Az following close behind her and sliding his chair far underneath to avoid him seeing his naked thighs and his hard-on.  

“Office,” he grunted out, annoyance ringing clear in his voice.

Light footfalls came from the hallway and then she heard her brother enter the room. Elain was grateful that Azriel’s large desk went down to the floor, shielding her in shadow.

“What do you want?” her fiancé demanded.

“Well, hello to you too, brother,” Rhys purred. “I came to pick up the camera set.”

She had forgotten that with all shit going on, the constant digging into their personal lives, they had suggested their siblings put up some extra protection around their homes. Just to be safe. Azriel supplied them with a few extra camera equipment pieces that they could place around the house and monitor from their phones. Cassian had picked his and Nesta’s set up the day before, bringing little Sutton with him while Nesta took a break to shower and get some sleep.

“It’s on the counter.”

Elain had to cover her mouth to keep from giggling at Az’s brusque tone. Reaching forward, she gripped his cock again, the surprise had her fiancé’s knee slamming into the desk.

“Fuck!” he bellowed sliding his large hand on top of his leg to rub at the hurt.

There was a pause before Rhys asked, “Are you all right, man?”

She kissed his injury, then began to tease him, licking a stripe from base to tip on his dick.

Azriel cleared his throat. “I’m fine.” His tone of voice told her he was indeed, not fine. Not fine at all.

Elain wrapped her lips around his head, sucking quietly. Truthfully, she wanted to see how long he lasted before snarling at his brother to get out.

“Okay, well since you’re such pleasant company today,” Rhys said sarcastically, “Where’s Elain?”

Her name on her brother’s lips had her freezing, wondering why he was asking about her.

“She had to run to the grocery store,” he lied. “Why?”

Elain heard Rhys shuffling from foot to foot.

“I have this bite on my arm that’s getting large. I wanted her to look at it.”

“She’s a surgeon, Rhys,” he snapped. “Not your primary care physician. Go see your doctor for that shit.”

Elain struggled to stifle her laugh, clapping a hand over her mouth. Her shoulders shaking with the effort. Poor fucking Rhys. He was receiving the nasty end of Az’s temper without knowing why.

“You know, perhaps you should have her—” he stopped.

“Have her what?” Az gritted out between clenched teeth.

She slid him back into her mouth, hoping to relax him a bit, feeling the tension in his thighs. Slurping him down without making a sound took more effort than she anticipated, but she made it work.

“I was going to say, ‘Have her take care of you when she gets home,’ but I’m getting the distinct feeling she’s doing that right now.”

Elain choked, Azriel coughing to cover up the sound.

“Mhmm,” Rhys murmured, a twinkle in his voice that told her he knew exactly what was going on. “So, I’m just going to go. See you later.” His footsteps echoed out of the room and then he called out, “Bye, Elain!”

She waited until the elevator doors pinged before she started laughing.

“Do you think that was funny, you naughty girl,” Azriel said, sliding his chair out and hauling her from under his desk.

She grinned. “It was a little funny.”

“You sucking my cock while I tried to have a conversation with my brother is funny?” he asked incredulously.

Elain raised a brow. “It didn’t sound like you were trying to have any kind of conversation with him, baby. You were most definitely trying to get him out.”

“Because you were sucking my cock under my desk without a care in the world that we had company. And for that, you should get punished. Over my knee. Now.”

His change in posture, the way his voice took on that dominance had heat rushing to her core. She was wet already, but now she felt herself pulse around nothing, dripping with need. Elain rose on shaky legs. “What are you going to do? Spank me?”

Challenge flared in him. “You bet your sweet ass, I am. Bend. Over.” It wasn’t a request.

Was she really going to allow him to do this? Elain knew if she told him no, he’d stop immediately, but the curious creature inside of her, the one that he had coaxed out of her, was peeking an eye open at the idea. “Will it hurt?” she hesitated, fingers gripping each other.

His face softened, sensing her internal war. “There is a fine line between pleasure and pain. Will it sting? Yes. It will. But it is also pleasurable too. I promise not to take it too hard with you this first time. And if you don’t like it, you can tell me to stop at any time.” He held out a hand to her, an offering to try something new.

Elain hesitated just a moment longer before she took his hand and let herself be tugged over his lap.

Deft fingers swept between her legs, feeling how wet she was. “So needy for me already, my love. Let’s see how drenched we can get you before I fuck you against my desk.” He kneaded her backside, and Elain felt the blood rush to her cheeks at how exposed she felt. “We’ll start you off with five smacks. Count for me.”

Without giving her any other warning, his palm came down on her cheek, skin clapping skin. Elain yelped at the surprise assault, her body convulsing from it. It didn’t hurt, per se, but it stung a bit. Remembering he gave her an order, she gritted out, “One.”

“Good girl,” he murmured, rubbing over where he smacked before bringing his hand down again.

“Two,” she breathed, feeling herself getting wetter already.

“Louder, Elain,” he demanded, running his hand over the curve of her cheek. “I can’t hear you.”

“Two,” she squeaked again, earning another caress over her backside in satisfaction. By the third smack, her body melted into him, becoming more aroused. It didn’t help that his length was currently digging into her side. “Three,” Elain moaned, head bowing.

Az chuckled. “I can see your slick running down your legs, baby. Are you getting turned on?” he asked just as he brought his palm down again.

“Four.” She was barely able to focus over how fucking stimulated she was. Her backside was sore, but fuck did it send delicious tingles up her body.

His hand came down a final time.

“Five,” Elain cried out, body positively aching for release.

Two thick fingers plunged inside her center, meeting no resistance from how turned on she had become. “Good fucking girl, Elain. You took that so well and look at how soaked you are.” His voice was practically a growl as he pumped in and out of her, his thumb pressing down on her clit.

“Az,” she groaned, fingers clutching his body. “Feels good.” The words tumbled from her lips in a slur.

He pumped and stretched her, stroking that spot that had her shaking. “Come, my love. I need you to let go.”

She was barely hanging on as it was, erupting into her orgasm with a scream. Elain’s body clenched around his fingers still fucking her as she fell, and fell, and fell into her release. A surge of liquid ran down the backside of her thighs.

Azriel’s head dipped and then his tongue was licking her there, intensifying her pleasure and building her up at the same time. “My sexy girl looks so good when she comes,” he groaned into fluttering, pink sex. Pulling his fingers out of her, he readjusted her until she was straddling him and sank her onto his cock.

Elain’s arms automatically went around his neck, holding him close as she moaned from deep in her chest. She had slid onto him with ease, her body molding itself to accommodate his size and girth. Fuck he felt so good stretching her, filling her. She said as much out loud.

His hands on her hips raised her up and down his length, helping her fuck him. It was exquisite to feel him pulse inside of her. Every stroke had her seeing stars in her blissed-out state.

Azriel kicked off his pants and boxers, shuffling Elain in his lap before he rose from his chair and pinned her against the window, the cool glass a stark contrast to her heated skin.

Elain’s legs went around his waist, using it as leverage to match him thrust for thrust. “Az, please!” she cried out, tipping her head back against the glass.

He sank his teeth into the junction of her neck, sucking hard enough to leave a bruise.

The slight pain mixed with the pleasure of his hips snapping into hers had her cresting into oblivion again. Elain’s body pulsed, milking him and sending him hurdling into his release, spilling deep inside of her as he pushed into the hilt and stayed there, groaning into her skin.

They were sweaty and breathing heavily, each coming down from their high. Her delicate fingers swept through his damp hair, brushing the locks back from his face and forcing him to meet her eyes. She had never seen those amber irises shining so bright as they were then. “I can’t wait to call you my husband,” she murmured, leaning forward to kiss him softly.

A sound pitched from his throat as he carried her over to his desk and began to ravish her again.

~~~~~

Remember, sharing is caring! Please reblog if you liked the fic. It helps spread my work and I truly appreciate it. 💕

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[amandapearls]

𝐿𝓊𝒸𝒾𝑒𝓃 & 𝐸𝓁𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓇𝒶𝒾𝓃

I was planning on saving this art for Elucien week in July, but I’m just so excited to share this with you guys that I decided to drop it early!

I’ve always wanted to do a commission with Elain and Lucien kissing in the rain and @witchlingsandwyverns did such an incredible job.

Her artwork is so beautiful. She’s so talented. Thank you so much for this beautiful Elucien art.

Also, Elain with bangs is my new favorite thing 🔥🔥

Link to Instagram post

Characters belong to Sarah J Maas

[tswaney17]

I Do Bad Things with You - Part 38

As promised, we're celebrating my 30th birthday with a little update. 🎂🎁 This is definitely a filler chapter, and one that I fought with a lot. I'm not entirely happy with it, but we're going to move on. I have so many exciting things coming for this AU that I can't wait to share with you. Thank you all for reading! 💙💜💚

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics​​​

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💕

Catch up here.

Credit to @featherymalignancy for Cassian’s nickname, Cash. 😘

Trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault , language, NSFW (kinda)

Word Count: 5,461

It had been three months since Feyre’s gallery showing and Elain and Azriel were living in utter bliss. Though the quietness from Elias and Azriel’s brothers kept him on edge, he didn’t let that affect them. Even agreeing to let up on her security protocols for getting dropped off at work—seeing as she was late twice. Granted, she had to sway him a bit, which meant she ended up kneeling on the couch and then bent over the armrest.

Not that she minded one bit.

Since she’d broken through that last barrier of her trauma, Elain felt like a new woman. One who was fully confident sexually and able to give Azriel more of herself.

He took full advantage of it too. Just last night, they were going at it doggy-style, but rather than maintaining an upright position like her ex would, Azriel leaned over her and held her against his chest so she slid up and down his body, their skin maintaining contact.

Holding them both up with one arm, he wrapped the other one around her, securing her to him. Elain had never thought doggy-style could hold any kind of intimacy—any sort of romance—but like always, Az surprised her with how he pleasured her. He liked the feeling of her against him when they fucked and, well, she loved it too.

Elain smiled to herself as she made her way to the private wing of the emergency room where high-valued patients were kept. Viviane had paged her, telling her someone requested her specifically for a consultation. “Hi Viv,” she called when the bleach blonde appeared in her line of sight.

“Ellie,” she smiled. “Thank you for coming down. I tried to persuade him to have a regular check-up before going straight to a surgical consultation, but he was insistent,” Viv explained handing over the iPad with the patient’s medical chart on it.

Glancing through the notes, nothing stood out to her.

“Do you recognize the name?”

She shook her head. “I don’t. I’ve never heard of this man before.” Her brows furrowed as she tapped the screen, digging further. “There’s not much here. What is he in for?”

“Appendicitis. Said you took out a friend’s and they recommended you.”

Elain looked up at her friend and caught the caution in her eyes. “You don’t believe him.” It wasn’t a question.

Viviane shrugged a shoulder. “If he has appendicitis, then he’s got a very high threshold for pain tolerance.”

“Do you think he’s lying to hide what’s really wrong?”

“Possibly. Though I’m not sure what it could be that he couldn’t tell me but will tell you.”

Hugging the iPad to her chest, Elain said, “Well, there’s only one way to find out.” Striding to the closed door of a private room, she knocked and entered. “Hello, Mr. Thompson. I’m Doctor Ar—”

She froze three steps into the room.

Because the man that turned around on the other side of the exam table was none other than Elias Hewn himself.

He smiled sinisterly at her. “Hello, Elain Archeron,” he cooed.

Like a doe, she turned to bolt from the room but found the door being slammed shut and blocked by another man, larger in stature than Elias. A guard of some sort, she assumed. The size of him, the way his biceps bulged when he crossed his arms indicated she was likely correct in that assumption.

Trapped.

She was trapped.

Her heart skipped in her chest as fear settled in. Whirling around to face Elias, Elain lifted her chin and told him, “You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve to come here.”

The man chuckled, slowly walking around the table and towards her. “You should consider yourself lucky I merely came here and didn’t take you while you were leaving.” His head cocked to the side. “Though, correct me if I’m wrong, that’s already happened to you, has it not?” he taunted.

How he knew about her kidnapping was beyond her, but then again, he played in a world she wasn’t completely privy to. News about Azriel’s girl getting kidnapped by Hybern and his killing them probably spread like wildfire in the underworld.

His lips curved up even more. “I’ll take your silence as confirmation.” He moved closer to her, stepping into her personal space and letting his eyes flick over her face. “I can see why Azriel is so taken with you. You really are gorgeous.”

“Azriel,” she snapped, “is taken by more than just my looks. I don’t think I could say the same for you.” Elain folded her arms across her chest, careful with the iPad still clutched in her hand. “What the fuck do you want?”

Elias tugged on a lock of hair, letting the curl wrap around his finger before thumbing one of the earrings that her boyfriend gave to her for her birthday.

They were gorgeous halo studs, sapphires in the center, and surrounded by diamonds. He had been insistent that she keep them when she tried to tell him they were too much and took to using his mouth into persuading her.

His lips curled up. “Azriel has good taste in jewelry.” His knuckle ran over the curve of her cheek. “Is that how he keeps your legs spread?”

Elain’s face heated at the words, at the implication. But she bit her tongue, letting him think he was luring her in.

He leaned forward until his lips touched the shell of her ear. “I could show you things he never could.” He said it in a daze, almost trance-like. His body shifted closer until any large breath would have his chest brushing hers.

Her blood raced as he encroached in on her, dominating her person with his presence. And just when she knew he thought he had her, Elain brought her arm back and cracked it across his face, hard enough to send his head snapping to the side. “Do not touch me,” she snarled, stepping back to add space between them.

His fingers touched his cheek, mouth parting in what she could only describe as shock.

Before he could say anything, she snarled, “How dare you come in here, posing as a patient, and lay your hand on me.” Her heart was beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings. Like a symphony of an enemy’s drum as it approached.

Faster than she could detect, his hand snapped forward, gripping her by the throat and pinning her against the door. Her back smacked the wood, knocking the breath from her lungs. “Do you have any idea what you two have done to me? To my company?” he hissed in her face. The rage that lined his features reminded her so much of that night with her ex-fiancé. She knew what happened when men lost their temper; remembered seeing that same viciousness in his eyes that she saw in Graysen’s.

But Elain wasn’t the same woman she was when he tried to assault her. No, she was the girlfriend of a mobster. Despite the fear racing through her veins, it was time the world recognized and respected her power for who she was. She wasn’t going to let her terror make her cower to this man.

Throwing on her best sneer, ignoring how hard her chest was beating, she told him, “That sounds like more of your poor planning than our problem. And you need to leave. Now.”

Elias’s dark eyes narrowed, fingers tightening around her throat, restricting her airway that much more, as he looked at her. Really looked at her. Assessed her in a way that told her he was trying to determine how much of a fight she’d put up. He released her neck, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dress pants like he was restraining himself from grabbing her again. “You and I are connected, Elain. I felt it the first moment we met.”

She nearly got whiplash from the change in direction, gulping down quiet breaths now that his hand was removed from her throat, but she focused on his words.

The night of the fundraiser, when he sniffed the skin of her inner wrist and grabbed her when she denied him what he wanted. “There is no connection between us, Elias. You need to get that through your skull.”

“Then how do you explain you sensing my presence at the club?” he asked, cocking his head to the side once more, dark hair sliding across his brow. “I know you felt me watching you—saw you looking around for me.”

“I didn’t know it was you.” A lie. She and Azriel both were convinced it was Elias at the club even though Az never found footage of him. He had to have come in some sort of disguise.

A smile curled up the side of his mouth. “Liar. You knew it was me.”

She stayed quiet.

Elias shook his head, laughing to himself in a way that had her blood going cold. “Believe what you want, pet, but we both know the truth—”

Elain had had enough of his games. Pushing off the door and forcing him to take a startled step back, she demanded, “What do you want, Elias? I won’t ask again.”

He shifted on his feet. “I just want you both to know how easy it is to get to you. That no matter how much security he has in place, I can still find you.” He stepped closer, leaning in until his mouth grazed her cheek in a featherlight kiss.

Her body locked up, but she refused to show him just how much his closeness affected her.

“I will exact my revenge on you both. You won’t know when, or where, but one day I’m coming for you for what you did. And when I do, we will have so much fun.”

Anxiety gripped her chest at his words. At the underlying threat in his tone. She knew he wasn’t lying; that one day, he would take what he believed he was owed. But the worst fear was that she didn’t know how he would try and take his revenge.

“Have a good day, Doctor Archeron,” he murmured, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Oh, and tell Azriel good luck getting to me.” Shooting her a wink, he and the other male strode from the room, the door clicking shut behind him and his guard.

Elain gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth as a sob tore out of her throat. She dropped the iPad to the ground and pulled out her phone with shaky fingers. Clicking on Azriel’s name, she put the phone to her ear.

He answered before the second ring. “Hello, love.”

A strangled sound escaped her that had him instantly on alert.

“Elain,” he said her name urgently. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

She sniffed, hating the tears that built in her throat and were threatening to flow down her cheeks. Pathetic—it was absolutely pathetic how much he affected her, but she couldn’t stop the droplets from rolling down her cheeks. “He was here,” she said so quietly, Elain wasn’t even sure Az could hear her.

“Who, Elain?”

Swallowing the painful lump, she breathed, “Elias.”

The line went silent for half a second. And then she heard him moving. “Did he touch you?” The wrath in his voice had some dark piece of her soul stirring.

She debated on telling him or not, knowing it would anger him further, but eventually decided to go with the truth. “He…he grabbed my neck,” she told him, fingers grazing the skin of her throat where she was concerned bruises might form. “Az—he was at the club that night. He told me.”

Her boyfriend swore low and filthily. “I should’ve put a fucking bullet in him when I had the chance.”

The words didn’t bring her any comfort, something he must’ve sensed because he added a bit more softly, “El, the Moonbeam twins are in the lobby waiting for you. I’m on my way. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

Elain tried to take a steadying breath. “I’m okay, Az.”

“I’d like to see that for myself.”

She didn’t get the chance to argue further before the door of the exam room swung open revealing Connall and Fenrys, along with a very concerned-looking Viviane.

Finding her kneeling on the floor—when had she gotten down here?—the golden blond twin was instantly moving to her side, lying a comforting palm on her back.

“How the fuck did he get in here?” he snarled at the nurse.

Viviane blanched at the tone. “He came in by ambulance.” Hence why neither of the twins saw him enter the building.

“And you just let him in here with her alone?”

Those crystal blue eyes turned to ice. “How was I supposed to know he was a threat to her? He used a different name and it’s not like you’re out here waving around pictures and names of people who are a threat to her for me to review. Of course, I wouldn’t have let him near her if I had any inkling that he was dangerous.”

Azriel’s midnight voice cut through the arguing, having heard the exchange. “Love, can you pass me off to Fenrys, please?”

Elain tapped his shoulder to get his attention before offering up her phone. She kept her gaze on her lap, trying to work through the anxiety in her mind until her breathing slowed, going through the motions she established with her therapist.

“Mr. Knight, I—” he was interrupted by Azriel.

And although she couldn’t hear the conversation, she had a vague idea of what he was saying. That Viviane was her friend and she’d never let any harm come to her knowingly.

“Yes,” Fenrys said. “By ambulance.” From the corner of her eye, she caught him nodding his head along to whatever was being spoken to him on the other line. “No, of course. I will…sure.” The twin passed her back the phone.

Her boyfriend’s voice was a welcome balm to her worries. “Elain, would you like to take the rest of the day off and go home, or do you want to work until the end of your shift?”

She was surprised by his offer, having figured he’d want her to go home immediately. “You don’t want me to come home?”

He paused, likely debating her question and how to answer it. “The decision is not mine. It’s yours. Now that Elias has approached you, I don’t believe he’ll do it again at the moment. However, if you do choose to stay and work, I would like the twins inside the lobby to monitor who comes and goes.”

Elain didn’t want to let Elias’s sudden presence affect her. She refused to give that to him. If she was going to be Az’s partner in life, she couldn’t let events like this control her from doing her job; from living how she wanted to. Taking a deep breath, she told Azriel, “I want to stay.”

“My strong girl,” he murmured sweetly and she could hear the pride in his voice. “Okay, let them know you’re staying. I’ll swing by shortly just to check in—”

“No.” Elain was surprised at how sturdy her voice came out. “He wants to get a rise out of me, out of you. He likely anticipates you flying over here to check up on me and take me home, and is sitting out in the parking lot somewhere to watch. I don’t want to give him that satisfaction. Let’s make it seem like his threat isn’t worth our time. That will show him.”

She didn’t need to see his face to know it had taken on a deadly grin. “Spoken like a true queen of the underworld. I concur. Keep your eyes open for anything else and stay safe, El. Let the twins know what the plan is. I’ll see you tonight.”

After bidding him goodbye, Elain rose to her feet with a set determination she hadn’t felt in a long time. “All right…here’s what we’re going to do.”

~~~

A week after Elias’s surprise visit and Elain was starting to feel it. Three nights she’d woken up from nightmares, Azriel hovering over her as he attempted to pull her from her dreams. Despite her desire to not let him affect her, her dreams wouldn’t give her a reprieve.

Just last night she had shaken herself awake, breaths coming out in shallow gasps. 

But Azriel was already pulling her into his chest, letting the sound of his heartbeat soothe her racing one, to calm her heavy breathing. He’d run his beautifully scarred hands over her back; stroked through her damp air.

She’d take a few minutes to collect herself. Just allowing his presence, his scent to comfort her. Some nights he’d try to ask her about the dreams, but last night he just held her until she fell back asleep. Elain appreciated that he never pushed her into talking about her nightmares.

But after just three episodes, she was bound and determined to shake them.

That was how she found herself standing in Az’s—well, their—home gym, eying all the different equipment. He was currently in his office down the hallway, working, so she figured she could take advantage of his busy state.

Looking at all the weights and the bench, Elain felt herself feeling a bit intimidated, so she started on the treadmill to work up her courage. After two miles—huffing and puffing because fuck, she hated running—she hopped off and stretched out her muscles.

Glancing at the weight bench, Elain plucked her bravery from deep in her gut, slipped on a ten-pound weight on either side of the bar, and laid down. Twenty pounds wasn’t too heavy. She could do that.

Taking a deep breath, she slid the bar off the little hooks when it dropped on her chest. The wind was knocked from her lungs as she desperately tried to push the weighted bar off her, but it was no use. Her panic about being pinned down crept on the edge of her mind. Wheezing as she tried to catch her breath, Elain managed to get out a desperate, “Azriel!”

Quick footsteps sounded down the hallway and then he appeared in the doorway. A filthy curse word left his lips as he rushed over to her, gripping the bar with one hand and effortlessly lifting it off her chest and back onto the hooks. “Elain, hey. Are you all right?” he murmured, coming round to kneel beside her.

Panting, she went limp on the bench, eyes closing as she tried to level her breathing out.

He waited patiently for her to calm down, fingers squeezing her thigh and letting his thumb swoop across the fabric of her leggings. Once she was back to normal, Elain opened her eyes and found Azriel staring down at her.

“El, sweetheart…do you want to tell me what you were doing?”

Sitting up, she flipped her leg over the bench to face him fully. “I don’t want to feel weak again.” She cast her eyes down towards her lap. “Elias showing up at the hospital has put me on edge—”

“I know. It has for me too,” he told her, taking her hands in one of his.

She looked back up at his face. “I thought that maybe if I started using some of your weights, I’d feel safer. Like I could protect myself.” She eyed the weights next to her with disdain. “I must be weaker than I thought because I only stuck twenty pounds on it.”

Azriel’s lips curled up. “Elain, love, the bar itself weighs around forty pounds alone. You were trying to lift sixty.”

“Oh…” Well, that explained why she couldn’t lift it and made her feel less incompetent.

“And without a spotter.”

Golden-brown eyes met his hazel ones. “You don’t use a spotter.”

“I’m also well-versed in lifting weights. And I know my limits. I don’t go above them when I’m working out alone.” He lifted his palm to cup her cheek, letting his thumb swoop over the apple of it. “But you’re right. I don’t use a spotter and I should.”

He brushed his finger over her skin again. “Do you want to try again? With me here. And no weights—just the bar this time.”

Elain glanced at the weight bench and then back at him. “Not today. I think I’m done trying to lift weights for now. Can we go again in a couple of days?”

“Of course.” Az leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. “And you’re not weak, Elain. I’ve seen the things you can do…what Cash has taught you.” He reached up to stroke the delicate skin of her throat where she knew the finger-shaped bruises were starting to fade. “You are far from weak, my love.”

She felt those words brand themselves on her soul. He was right—of course, he was right. She was the girlfriend of a mob leader…she would never be weak again. Rising from the bench, she headed for the door but stopped at the threshold to look over her shoulder at him. “I’m going to shower. Care to join me?”

Heat flared in his eyes as he quickly followed behind her. “Like you have to ask.” Azriel swooped down to throw her over his shoulder, making her laugh.

“Az, I’m all sweaty. Put me down.”

He popped her on the ass. “You act like that’s going to stop me from ravishing you in the shower.”

And ravish her he did.

~~~~~

It had been a month since Elias had surprised Elain at the hospital and they had yet to hear another peep from him. Azriel had Ruhn searching for him, but even he had been unable to locate the fucker.

It infuriated him to no end, especially since he made the comment to Elain about “good luck finding me,” and directed it towards Az himself. Not being able to find him now was just a nail in the coffin of his rage.

Ruhn believed the bastard had gotten in with the Illyrian Mob, and he had to agree. Nobody else would be able to hide from him or his crew for this long without the help and resources of the rival gang. He also said that there was still no word on what they planned to do with the information about his relationship with Elain.

Just the two unknowns combined made him antsy for the other shoe to drop. However, he didn’t let that take away from his time with Elain.

“Still nothing on him. No phone records, no credit card purchases. He’s simply fallen off the face of the earth,” Ruhn growled through the phone, equally as pissed about being unable to locate the bastard.

Az sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Frankie has him hidden and protected. He would’ve had to if he planned to utilize him after what he did to Elain.”

The man on the other line paused before quietly asking, “How is she?”

“The bruises that fucker left on her neck are finally gone,” he snarled, rage building in his gut as he remembered seeing those finger-shaped purple marks dotting her immaculate pale flesh.

“We’ll find him, Azriel. I give you my word I’ll bring him to you for revenge.”

He let out a breath, knowing that Ruhn would do everything in his power to capture that fucker for him. Because Elias signed his death warrant when he laid his hands on Elain. “Thanks, Ruhn. Call me with any updates.” He ended the call, dropping his phone onto his desk and letting out a loud groan, rubbing the heels of his palms into his eyes until he saw spots.

It had been rough for his girl since he showed up at the hospital, though things had calmed down since then.

After about two weeks, her nightmares seemed to lessen and now she was rarely having any, thank fuck. He hated waking up in the middle of the night to her whimpered cries, body shaking from her terrors. Ached to take away her pain. To do anything other than just hold her after an attack. But that seemed to be all he could do for her at the moment. He just hoped it was enough for her.

His intercom on his phone buzzed and Nuala’s voice filtered through the line. “Mr. Knight: Feyre and Rhysand Archeron are here to see you.”

Fuck, he was not in the mood for company, knowing any little thing would set off his anger. He clicked the button to respond. “Thanks, Nuala. Send them in.”

Rising from his seat, Az buttoned his suit jacket just as his door swung open to reveal his siblings. Feyre leading, and Rhys carrying a large, flat object wrapped in paper. “Good morning, Feyre. Rhys. Is that my art piece?” he asked, nodding toward the hidden item.

“Indeed it is,” his sister chirped. “Where’s it going? The front wall?”

“Yes, right there,” he pointed towards the wall directly in front of his desk. Helping Rhys move the painting over, he ripped off the wrapping and stood back to admire the piece. “Fey, this is gorgeous. One of your best works. Thank you, for this.”

The artist beamed at the compliment. “It was truly a pleasure to paint this. And I’m happy you out of everyone connected with it.”

He knew what she was referring to, the fact that it was of an Illyrian from the history of his heritage, one he adamantly vocalized being against. It was a surprise for everyone when he requested that specific piece. But perhaps it was time to recognize the flaws and move past them.

“Do you want us to hang it?” Rhys asked, watching his brother closely. As a half-Illyrian—one who recognized and sympathized with him and his issues—he was the most curious about Az’s sudden change of heart.

And Cash, of course.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll email our maintenance team to come to hang it sometime this week.” He studied the art piece leaning against the wall. “But thanks for the offer.” Azriel walked back around his desk and sat down.

Feyre perched herself in one of the leather chairs, craning her neck around to brush a fingertip over the hole in the back. “Az, what happened here?”

He met her gaze and debated if he should tell them the truth or not. Opting for the former, he told them, “I threw my letter opener at Elias after he made some nasty comment about Elain. It embedded there in the leather.”

Their eyes went as large as saucers but it was Rhys who asked, “Does threatening everybody who comments about her seem like the wisest decision?”

“It makes me feel better,” he said petulantly, eyes flashing dangerously as if daring his brother to make another comment like that.

“I think what Rhys is getting at,” Feyre interjected to stop the brewing storm forming between the brothers, “is that will those threats come at a cost? Will it put Elain in more danger?”

Azriel sighed, rubbing at his brows. This was not a conversation he needed to be having with his siblings. But like normal, they were sticking their noses in a place where they didn’t belong. “Elain is in danger just by being with me. Since we’ve established that there is no going back on that, I will do everything in my power to make sure she’s safe. That she remains safe. And if that means threatening and putting myself between her and anyone who dares speak her name, then so be it. It is a price I am willing to pay.”

“Is she?” Rhys challenged.

“Come again?”

“Is she willing to let you put yourself in that position?” his brother clarified. At his silence, Rhys powered on. “Every threat you make, every enemy that comes forth puts her in danger, Az. It’s not just you anymore. You have to think of her—”

“I am thinking of her!” he snarled. “You don’t live in my world, Rhysand. You don’t understand the consequences of looking weak. I can’t just walk away. If I tried, they would come for me. And for her. I will not let that happen.”

His brother just looked at him; those violet eyes assessing his words. His anger. Finally, he leaned back in his seat, steepling his fingers together. “I only want to keep her safe, Az. She is more like a sister to me than an in-law. I will always look out for her well-being. Even if it’s against you.”

The words were like a blow. How far he had fallen with his siblings to see him as only endangering their family. His love. Perhaps, in their own way, they were right. Ever since he came back into Elain’s life, he had thoroughly derailed it. She’d been kidnapped, used as leverage, stalked, threatened…the list goes on.

But she had brought so much good to his life. Joy, happiness, a sense of purpose. He wanted to build a life with her. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he couldn’t have that and balance his more deadly self.

Feyre cleared her throat, recapturing his attention. “Elain told Nesta and me a little bit about what was going on when we went dress shopping.” She paused, chewing on her bottom lip. It was a nervous tick he picked up on—something she did when she was trying to figure out how to say something. “Is there still a threat going on?”

He and Elain had spoken about how much information they told their siblings. They had agreed on a “needs to know” basis, and well, this felt like it was needed to know. So, he told them everything. About Elias’s initial threat, his stalking at the club. Him seeking her out at the hospital. Azriel laid everything into the open for them.

His sister’s brows had gone straight to her hairline, her hand partially covering her mouth in shock. “That is…terrifying. How is Elain managing it?”

“Comes and goes. She had some nightmares after Elias sought her out at the hospital, but we’ve managed to get those under control. I’m trying not to be overbearing with her protection detail, but want to make sure she’s covered should anything happen. The Moonbeam brothers are staking out in the hospital lobby now.”

Rhys leaned forward to rest his elbows on the tops of his knees. “Maybe you guys should take some time. Get out of Velaris for a bit and let things calm down.”

He sighed, the breath whooshing from his chest. “I’d love to, but I don’t know if Elain has any vacation time built up.”

Feyre snorted. “Please. Elain hasn’t taken a vacation day since she was hired at the hospital for her residency two years ago. She’s got like two and a half weeks built up. And when her residency completes in a few months and they hire her as the attending, she’ll accrue like fifteen additional days a year.”

An idea took root as his sister-in-law spoke. “She told me that she wanted to go on a vacation. To the beach. I think a surprise trip is exactly what the doctor ordered.”

Rhys snickered at the pun.

“I’ll need to give her boss a few weeks’ notice. Maybe the middle of next month?” he said more to himself than anyone else.

“I think that sounds perfect. Get her out of the city. Honestly, I think the last time Elain did any sort of traveling was right before she started college. Since then, she’s been buckling down on her studies. It would be well-deserved. And a long-time coming,” Rhys told him.

He nodded in agreement. “Wait, we have Nesta and Cassian’s baby shower next month.”

“We can move it,” his sister said. “Nesta will only be seven months along next month. We can move it to the following one. No invitations have been sent out anyways.”

“I don’t want to inconvenience them.”

Feyre waved him off. “Please. I think Nesta would be happy to know that you took Elain somewhere safe.”

He supposed that was true. “I think I will. Thanks, guys.”

Feyre and Rhys rose from their respective chairs, each offering him an encouraging smile. “Well, we should be off. We have a few other deliveries today from the gallery show.”

They were almost to the door before he called out, “Oh, Feyre.” He waited until she turned to look at him.

A secretive smile overtook his face. “What’s Elain’s ring size?”

~~~~~

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