And every time he felt a fear inside him, a fear of them getting caught and taken away from him.
A little short-story from Bumlets' pov about him being worried whenever Skittery and Swifty steal something.
Info: Skittery = Michael, Bumlets = Dominic, Swifty = Vincent when any 'real' names are used.
Enjoy!
Length: ca. 1.6k
(and thanks @thatoneandlonelyemo2005 because we kinda rp-ed most of the dialogue)
It would have been like any other day selling with Skittery and Swifty if he hadn’t seen Skittery grab a pack of cigarettes from a stand and only avoid getting caught because Swifty started offering the man a pape as he’d started to look in Skittery’s direction. Bumlets had been too far away to do or say anything but this was far from the first instance of stealing he’d seen from them. And every time he felt a fear inside him, a fear of them getting caught and taken away from him.
“Michael, you need to stop doing that! You’re going to end up in the refuge.”, he hissed to his partner at the next streetcorner. He knew that cigarettes weren’t something cheap to come by, but with every close call he just thought about Skittery in the refuge and the last time that happened… it hadn’t been pretty. They weren’t together yet and he hadn’t been able to help nearly as much as he liked afterwards, but especially now he didn’t want to see it again.
“So what if I do, not like I ain’t been there before.”, Skittery just scoffed, putting his last few papes on a crate and leaning next to it, arms crossed, already defensive.
“Yeah. And you know how you were the last time you got out. I’m worrying about you when you’re in there, Michael. I know we weren’t together yet, but even though you never talk about it I don’t know you’re going through things there. Just…please, dear.”
As Skittery rolled his eyes he knew the argument wasn’t so easily won. “Then Vince has to stop too, it ain’t fair if I gotta but he doesn’t.”
Swifty, who up until then had only listened, poked Skittery into the side with his elbow. “Well unlike you I ain’t ever been caught-“
“Oh sure, your undershirt ripped by itself, not because someone caught ya and grabbed you-“
“Never been to the refuge though-“
They’d truly be the death of him. “Boys. Vince, Mica, stop. I’m just… I can’t help but worry, okay? When either of you steal.”
That shut them up, at least for a few moments.
“Dom, you don’t have to worry, the others also don’t-“
“But you aren’t the others. You’re different, to me. Can’t I care about the two boys I love? What would you do if I went to the refuge?”
“Dominic don’t say that.”, whispered Swifty, looking to the ground, picking at his nails like he did when he was nervous. At least he seemed to get more of his perspective now.
“I’ll do what I can to make you boys understand how I feel.”
“You wouldn’t end up in the refuge though.”, he tried to argue. And sure, Bumlets didn’t steal but there were plenty of other reasons, most of all that they even were in a relationship in the first place.
“Yeah?” He looked right at Swifty, Skittery clearly listened but looked somewhere to the side. “I could get arrested for loitering, someone didn’t like my face and called the bulls, it wouldn’t be the first time it happened to someone like us. What would you do then?”
While the message finally seemed to have gotten to Swifty, Skittery just scoffed. “Should I cry about it? What the hell do you want me to say?”
“Skitts, don’t say it like that.” Swifty tried to grab his arm but Skittery ripped it away.
“I don’t care, Vince. What do you want us to do, Dom? Want us to cry and not eat or-“
Bumlets closed his eyes for a moment, before he’d get angry as well. He knew Skittery tended to get angry and defensive when he knew he was losing an argument but didn’t want to admit it or when he didn’t want to show emotions, he knew it. But it still hurt to hear it. Pushing his nails into his arm hard enough that it slightly hurt he tried to ground himself and think of how to really explain it to him so the argument wouldn’t be longer than necessary.
“Skittery, you’re gettin’ angry for no reason, just shut up.”
Skittery uncrossed his arms and waved a fist in Swifty’s direction. “I can get angry if I want, I don’t gotta cry or-“
“You’re saying this as if I don’t do all of that, Skitts.”, he interrupted his boyfriend, seeing how he flinched back the smallest bit. He tried to keep his voice level as he continued: “I cry when you’re in there because I know Snyder gets to you and when any of you don’t come home until far too late I worry about you getting injured or caught. I think about these things all the time becauseyou’re important to me and I don’t want anything to happen to you. I can’t help but think about all that. My smile’s fake when I’m out selling because I can’t stop thinking about what you might go through. And it’s okay if you don’t do that, but I do. I love you and I don’t know what I’d do without any of you.”
That seemed to have finally gotten to Skittery, the other once more having crossed his arms, this time more curled in on himself, clearly ashamed. It wasn’t really what Bumlets had wanted, but it was better than the yelling from before.
“Dominic, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“
“It’s fine. Let’s not talk about it for a bit, okay doll? I’ll see you at the lodge.”
With a tight feeling in his chest, he turned around without even looking at their reaction and walked in the other direction, just wanting to get his last papes away after taking a few grounding breaths in an alleyway. He hated arguing with them, it always felt like he’d failed in some way, failed to hold them together. But he also hated worrying about them, he had to say something.
Tomorrow. He’d have clearer thoughts tomorrow.
It was late at night, everyone already sleeping – or trying to anyways – when Bumlets just kept turning from one side to the other, thoughts replaying the argument from earlier. They had only talked briefly in the evening, mostly Swifty apologizing but not promising to stop stealing altogether, though he promised to be careful. Skittery hadn’t said anything, though he sat with them at dinner.
Bumlets felt so bad, he shouldn’t have gone when he did, he had seen that Skittery had been impacted by his words and he really shouldn’t have gone, he should have reassured him that he still loved him. He knew better than this, he knew Skittery easily got into thinking that they didn’t really love him, his mind convincing him it was all just a joke in some way. Why had he been so-
Before he could finish the thought something was climbing up the ladder to his bunk, carefully sitting next to him before lying down. It was dark, but he could still recognize Skittery.
“I’m sorry.”, he whispered, looking at the ceiling instead of to Bumlets.
He grabbed Skittery’s hand, squeezing it and rubbing circles on the back of it, wondering if he wanted to say more. He knew it was no use pulling the words from him, he’d either say them or he wouldn’t, no matter how much he probed and asked.
“I just…”, Skittery started, turning to him, finally. “I thought if you knew how I’d… that if you knew what I’d do if you were… I thought you’d laugh. If I said that I’d break me if you were in there.”
Before he answered he put his blanket over the two of them, kissing the back of Skittery’s hand. “Oh mi amor. I’m also sorry, made it sound like you don’t care enough with what I said. I know we all care differently.” He leant forward and kissed Skittery’s forehead, loving how he scrunched up his face but smiled just the faintest bit afterwards.
Bumlets hummed, but wanted to say one more thing where they could talk a bit louder without disturbing the others, so he sat up and motioned for Skittery to follow him to the washroom.
Now able to properly look at his partner, he saw that he had a chewed open lip and red eyes. No matter if they were already making up, it would never hurt to say more affirmations, so he took Skittery’s face in his hands, leaning up.
“Thanks for coming to me, I promise I was never thinking you didn’t care enough, and I shouldn’t have left, I was also just overwhelmed.”
He kissed him and was glad to see Skittery lean into his touch. “Sorry for worryin’ you. Never thought that you’d worry that much, everyone does it.”
“Doesn’t mean you have to. Just be careful, Michael.”
Someone came from the entrance to the bunk room and they sprang apart, pretending they had just gotten up to wash their face or take some fresh air, but luckily it was just Swifty, rubbing his eyes, walking as quiet as always over to them and hugging them close, leaning what felt like all of his weight into the hug.
“’m sorry too but you need ta sleep now.”
“Just saw your bunks empty. You’ll be tired tomorrow, go sleep” He yawned again and pressed kisses to both of their hair before starting to pull them back into the bunkroom, taking no complaints. Well, they really should sleep. And at least they had made up.
Skittery still crawled into Bumlets’ bed again, and he held his boy close to his chest, stroking his hair until he felt him fall asleep before relaxing himself.
As much as he hated it if arguments happened, at least they had been able to make up, and maybe that was just part of it all. Finding a middle ground and talking to each other.
