You never remember things the same way.
Memory is a variation of transcribing DNA, taking
the original and making a copy. Except messier
because the building blocks of memory are soluble;
dip them in nostalgia or steep them in time and
they dissolve into more of the same, which is different.
Memory is marred with deletions and insertions.
The resulting mutation can be positive or negative,
but most of the time it's a little bit of both.
Your memory has sickle-cell anemia but it's immune to malaria
and if anything this condition is a reminder to be careful
with the past, which beats just like the present,
which is the heart of your conundrum.
Actually, the root of all of this is a roof,
or rather, the inability to picture it when you tried to draw
your house the other day and had to leave it
incomplete and how much this rattled you—
Notice that this is all nonsense. Allow words to become your pulse
instead and marvel at how they travel by osmosis and
steadily diffuse the tension between having to remember
and having to live. Try not to forget this.