I Have Many Good IdeasUntitled

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[skeletonwalksintoabar]

I saw a car decal on someone’s back window today. It said “GEN X: WE DONT CARE”.

So they saw a sticker they liked in a shop. They looked at the other options that would’ve been available. They picked it out and pulled out their wallet and paid for it. They took it home. They laid it out and decided centering it on their back window looked best. They wiped down the glass. They peeled off the little sticker backing thing. They applied it cleanly and pressed out the air bubbles. And then said “now people will know I don’t care”.

I dunno man. You can convey a lot of things about your personality through the joys of consuming products, but I think apathy might be that one trait you have to let other people infer.

[skeletonwalksintoabar]

Sirens are the most plausible monster to exist

If I saw a bunch of goth girls well actually scratch that I can’t explain it but being down bad for goth girls these days feels vaguely…….. racist? It’s a very lazy type to have. I can’t explain that one 🤷‍♀️.

Ok starting over if a bunch of women in high waisted jeans and sensible tops held up signs that said “if you approach we will kill you with a real gun” I’d still do it. No magic necessary.

[skeletonwalksintoabar]

i choose to believe that when someone realizes they have a crush on me, i have the sort of personality that makes them go "goddammit fuck this fuck shit life god fuck oh shit why the bitch god damn it"

[skeletonwalksintoabar]

Paying a homeless guy to pretend to mug me so I can look brave on a first date, but then he meets the homeless guy my date hired to pretend to mug me to see if I would protect her and they decide to go ahead and actually mug me got me like: :(

[skeletonwalksintoabar]

It’s funny, as a player character, to ask your fellow players to make a check. Want a character you’re hanging out with to notice your cool new coat? “How about you make me a perception check”. Costs you nothing. Cuck your DM. You’re in my world now.

[skeletonwalksintoabar]

It must be difficult being a full on Pokémon fan. The Pokémon company loves you and makes pikachu cafes and every kind of silly little plush. They make so many funny little guys. They really want you to like the anime. And then you’ve got Gamefreak who doesn’t want you dead for the sole reason that you would no longer be able to suffer

[skeletonwalksintoabar]

My favorite pen is pink, rubber, and is kind of like a tentacle but has a little cat paw on the end of it. It also writes nicely. I keep it in a briefcase. People know that if they were going to steal this pen, they would also need to be prepared to kill me. And if they are, I would like it to be quick. So I keep a gun in the briefcase too

[skeletonwalksintoabar]

I do not like when Peter “Spider-Man” Parker uses his webs casually to like. Grab the remote. Close doors in his room. They should leave a disgusting residue on everything they touch. His webs should not make his life easier or better in any measurable way beyond stopping crimes.

[skeletonwalksintoabar]

I might be able to go my whole life without ever accidentally seeing my dads penis. It’s important to be goal oriented.