Skins

• New blog 12/2021 - Active 12/2022• • 29 • Genderfluid • Fat • Navigating the worlds of recovery and relapse one fast at a time.

[andreweatspussy111]

down to my core I’m not a functional person I don’t think I can fix it in this life time

[suckmyassbitchh]

[goleanongirl]

Downloaded a fasting app and started doing it, for now fasting drop 8 pm to 9 am even tho it's not always convenient giving my uni schedule but still

I also will try to simply eat better, not necessarily less but better quality at least

Uni is killing me

[waaytoopoor]

[unreadable]

[skinsbleh]

I think I'm going to kill myself.

I cannot take the loneliness I feel everyday, it cuts to the bone. I cannot stand feeling like no one sees me, no one knows me, no one loves me. I've never felt like anyone really chose me, or felt truly afraid of losing me.

I don't blame people for it though, it's really not anyone's fault, at the end of the day no one owes you anything. And I think that maybe, as much as I really want closeness and intimacy, maybe I'm too fucking damaged for it, cause I'm terrified, all the time.

I just don't want to be here anymore or do any of this. I look back and I never lived the life I wanted. I am turning 30 in a couple of months and I watched my youth go by and never felt pretty or attractive, I've never been skinny. Now my face and body are starting to look older and I have to accept that this is just how I will always look. Ugly, wrinkled, fat and with loose skin.

I never lived the life I wanted, or embodied the person I wanted to be. I am stuck at a job that doesn't allow me to take more than a couple of days off per year BUT that I also can't afford to lose because of my own dumb decisions in life. I've missed out on so much and if this is how life is supposed to be for the remainder of it, then I really don't want it, it's not worth it.

I'm tired of being so sad that my chest hurts, I'm tired of being so sad I get panic attacks over it. I'm tired of laying in my bed with my eyes open unable to reconcile sleep because I remind myself of all of these thoughts. I spent my whole life being sad, so I just want it to stop. I think I've finally had enough.

[skinsbleh]

I desperately want to fall in love

[doeadeervixenafox]

[skinsbleh]

Idc if this isn't the time or the place but i don't got nowhere else to say do you guys are gonna hear it.

I'm like, super fucking h*rny.

[skinsbleh]

Tell me again how I wasn't just a rebound to you

[salemwitchtrials-deactivated202]

Excerpt from The Complete Poems by Anne Sexton

[neverxenough1526]

I can’t believe this got so many notes!

[l1ght-as-a-feather]

[thinnv1bes]

[uniej]

[skinsbleh]

I feel like I got no one on my side

[emptyspacefalling]

personally, i just feel like... wanting to starve until im dead :)