nothing to me

□ TW TW TW ■ June 2023 □ ● trauma, mental illness, everything ○ • 22 she/her, welcome to hell ○

[emptyspacefalling]

And i just keep reminding myself: at least my 3 cats are healthy and happy. If everything in my life goes wrong, at least my babies are healthy and happy

[wetheurban]

You are never “too old” to start again.

You are never “too old” to follow your dreams.

You are never “too old” to switch directions.

You are never “too old” to learn something new.

[emptyspacefalling]

This depression im in rn feels so heavy, im not gonna lie. Been a while since ive felt this heaviness but it ees what it ees

Just gonna do my lego sets and watch YT until i feel better enough to do my runs again 🙂

[emptyspacefalling]

So now back to restricting and hoping to reach my LW again

Im gonna break from exercising just until i get out of this 2 week long depression, lol

At least ive still been brushing my teeth lmao, one step at a time

[emptyspacefalling]

Okay lol so had a talk with my grandmother and shes not kicking us off the property

Do i still have that rift between her? Yes

She has also removed the kittens from the property. Bye bye babies :(

[emptyspacefalling]

And dont get me wrong, im hurt. Im upset. But it is what it is at this point. Im tired of the people on this fucking farm. Id rather be back with my ACTUAL CARING CONSIDERATE family in georgia. Im just done. Everything feels so fucking pointless. Over 2 kittens. Get a fucking grip

[emptyspacefalling]

lmaooo my grandma might kick us off the property over 2 kittens im cackling

We rescued 2 kittens off the road (they were literally about to be run over)

She acts like all is good for 3 days, then wants them OFF hEr property, i get upset BUT OMG im respectful and dont yell, dont curse or call names (im just crying cause these kittens need vet care and omG i was gonna pay out of pocket for these 2 kittens, already bought them kitten food and toys out of pocket)

She ends the convo by calling me disrespectful, then i message her and she ignores me all day, then responds at 10pm

And now shes like "we are gonna have to talk about a new plan for u and ur bf"

GURL way to burn bridges over something not that serious. But ya know what? I dont wanna be here anyway. Havent for almost 1.5 years. The only thing im worried about are my 3 cats. Thats it. Idgaf about anything else

[emptyspacefalling]

Like im trying to replace my yucky food choices with healthy ones so ive been eating carrots and um ouch to gas pains and bloating and constipation

Same with broccoli

Maybe i should try cooking them? Like boiled veggies or some shit idk help

[emptyspacefalling]

Having ibs and acid reflux sucks just btw lmao, thanks ED for fucking up my digestion completely

[fucktoyfelix]

i said wat i said

[enraged-chihuahua]

fuck this *unfocuses my eyes*

[enraged-chihuahua]

fuck this *unfocuses my eyes*

[phd-dr-pawg]

The grind never ends 😞

[bpdohwhatajoy]

[emptyspacefalling]

First day of trynna relapse and its going well so far. Its 8:05pm and ive had 348 cals of tuna, half a banana, and cherries! I was tempted to have goldfish but decided it wasnt worth the cals.

Ran 30 minutes, burned 196. Less than i wanted, and i was gonna do another 30 min but my bf is about to be home rip.

The real deal is dinner, so 😳 i hate dinners bc my bf will suspect if i dont eat it or only eat some of it. And 90% of the time he gets fast food. So i gotta be smart about it which is why exercise is important and why i gotta restrict during the day :):):)

[emptyspacefalling]

why am i still being haunted? leave me alone, leave, leave me

[i-will-recover-tomorrow]