God I wish this were a service I could actually offer to people. Iâd do it for a hot meal and some laughs, I donât even need money to start trouble.
My sexuality is now "lesbian but will swing both ways if it's funny"
sheepfilms
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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Not today Justin

Kaledo Art
Mike Driver
we're not kids anymore.

Discoholic đȘ©
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
occasionally subtle

â
NASA
cherry valley forever
Today's Document

⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
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Xuebing Du

JVL
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Claire Keane

seen from Malaysia

seen from Germany

seen from Malaysia
seen from Poland
seen from United States

seen from Netherlands

seen from Australia

seen from Brazil

seen from Vietnam
seen from France
seen from Kazakhstan
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seen from United States

seen from TĂŒrkiye

seen from Malaysia
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seen from United States
@skinwalker101
God I wish this were a service I could actually offer to people. Iâd do it for a hot meal and some laughs, I donât even need money to start trouble.
My sexuality is now "lesbian but will swing both ways if it's funny"
Can you explain this gap in your blog history
"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."
"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."
One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.
I think this is something young people in particular are confused about. My dad has always had a slightly off color sense of humor, he always feels the need to privately ask me âboy turned girl or girl turned boy?â if I mention a friend and stress said friendâs pronouns, and yet when we had repair work done in the house and the worker was listening to a podcast discussing the evils of transgender people and how to cleanse society, he went out of his way to contact the owner of the business to discuss his disappointment with that workerâs conduct and stress the negative effect that could have had if there had been trans kids in our home.
Our allies will never be perfect. They will never use the perfect language or have the perfect politics. But we have to appreciate those allies and meet them where they are, especially if they are willing to learn.
undersea animals when a whale dies
They'd never let us have happy feet gay shrimp in 2023
shrimps is gay
There is a forbidden type of magic out there. It isnât forbidden because itâs inherently evil, or forces you to lose your humanity, or requires human sacrifices - itâs just forbidden because itâs annoying as heck to fight against.
âMaâam, I really must insist that you pay for the room and board Iâve been giving you! Itâs been a week!â
âFine, fine,â I grumble. âI have a few options for payment: I could give you paper money, cheap gaudy jewelry, chocolate coins, spiders, some pretty seashells-â
âSpiders????â he repeats, baffled.
âSpiders it is, then,â I agree equitably, and with a wave of my hand the bed Iâve been sleeping in for the last week turns into a writhing mass of various spiders.
Worth it.
â
âStop right there! Youâre under arrest for fraud, destruction of property, and-!â
I yawn. âDidnât ask, donât care.â A few gestures, and the guardsâ swords are all transmuted into spiders, and then theyâre too busy to worry about little olâ me.
â
âYou have insulted my honor and humiliated me in front of my children! I demand satisfaction! I demand a wizardâs duel!â
Shrugging, I say, âSure, okay, whatever. Right here and now okay?â
The pompous wizard-noble blinks. âI- you donât want to prepare? Get your wizardâs staff or anything?â
âNah, Iâm pretty good with somatic gestures.â
âWell, if youâre sure⊠here and now then! Have at you!â He slams his staff down on the ground dramatically, a small shockwave of fire radiating out from the impact.
So of course, I turn his staff into spiders.
âAHHHH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCKâ
âSo if youâre too busy screaming to cast spells, does that mean I win?â
âAUGH ONE OF THEM BIT MEâ
âIâm taking that as a yes.â
â
After that, they start coming at me in waves, with cheap wands and staves and swords and bows bought in bulk, hoping to exhaust my magical reserves so they can get close enough to put a magic inhibitor on me.
They did not expect my reserves to be as vast as they were, not did they expect me to be able to transmute the inhibitors themselves into spiders.
âDidnât you take Magic Basics in wizard college?â I yell at the panicking mages. âInhibitors arenât immune to magic until the moment they activate! Serious weak point in the design, tell your magitechnicians to fix that!â
â
So of course they try assassins next.
Poison fails, because I transmute any food and drink I get into spiders and then transmute them back. Pretty easy way to get rid of poison.
So then they try knives in dark alleys. The knives bruise through my full-body spider-silk outfit, but do not penetrate, and they only get one shot before they have bigger problems.
Next is killing me in my sleep. None live to report back that the human-shaped lump under the blankets is actually a mass of highly venomous spiders.
The kingdom throws everything it has at me, and I continue to walk away, heralded by the chittering of spiders and the screams of everyone else.
â
Finally, I stand before the king himself in his overly opulent throne room, and by now he is a broken shell of a man in the face of my unorthodox tactics.
Good.
âWhat do you want?â he practically sobs. âYouâve singlehandedly redirected the entire crownâs budget for the next three years into replacing every weapon youâve turned into spiders. Much more and weâll be invaded by our neighbors! We wouldnât be able to resist being annexed! So what can I give you to make you stop doing this?!â
I pause and pretend to consider, tapping a finger against my chin thoughtfully. âYou know, you sent my brother off to war a few years back. That conflict with the Yughs up north, I believe. He didnât want to go, so your guards forced him at spearpoint. I havenât seen him since.â
He seizes on that, as I expected. âYes, yes, Iâll have him returned right away! Tell me his name and Iâll honorably release him from duty and have him escorted safely home!â
âOh?â I raise one sardonic eyebrow. âAre you able to bring back the dead now, oh wise and glorious king?â
He pales, and itâs the most satisfying thing Iâve seen in years.
âYou have nothing I want,â I growl, letting the anger slip through for the first time in years. âYou cannot bring him back, you cannot make up for my loss with all the riches in your kingdom. The only thing I want is to take everything from you, the way you did to me. Your kingdom will bleed out of resources, one of the neighboring countries youâve been trying to conquer for decades now will take advantage and annex this place, and you will either be executed or forced to work for a living for the first time in your life.â
I glare at him, and he refuses to meet my eyes. âYou will lose everything you ever cared about in your life. One spider at a time.â
I transmute his throne and crown into spiders (non-deadly; he doesnât get to escape my wrath that easily), then turn and walk away, ignoring his screams and sobs.
â
And thatâs why, when the Yughs finally annexed the kingdom I grew up in, they preemptively made Transarachnomancy a forbidden magical art. Not sure how they intend to enforce that, mind, but Iâm not looking to challenge that. Iâve gotten what I wanted; if some other aspiring mage wants to try and follow in my footsteps, thatâs not my problem.
Besides, in terms of magical skill, Iâve always been an outlier anyway. Most mages would be lucky to turn just one knife into a spider at a time; I can turn ten thousand with a few gestures. I doubt anyone will outdo my legacy.
But hey, if you want to try and surpass Georgia of the Spiders? Feel free. Iâll welcome the competition.
Hey btw, if youâre doing worldbuilding on something, and youâre scared of writing ~unrealistic~ things into it out of fear that itâll sound lazy and ripped-out-of-your-ass, but you also donât want to do all the back-breaking research on coming up with depressingly boring, but practical and ~realistic~ solutions, have a rule:
Just give the thing two layers of explanation. One to explain the specific problem, and another one explaining the explanation. Have an example:
Plot hole 1: If the vampires canât stand daylight, why couldnât they just move around underground?
Solution 1: They canât go underground, the sewer system of the city is full of giant alligators who would eat them.
Well, thatâs a very quick and simple explanation, which sure opens up additional questions.
Plot hole 2: How and why the fuck are there alligators in the sewers? How do they survive, what do they eat down there when thereâs no vampires?
Solution 2: The nuns of the Underground Monastery feed and take care of them as a part of their sacred duties.
It takes exactly two layers to create an illusion that every question has an answer - that itâs just turtles all the way down. And if youâre lucky, you might even find that the second questionâs answer loops right back into the first one, filling up the plot hole entirely:
Plot hole 3: Who the fuck are the sewer nuns and whatâs their point and purpose?
Solution 3: The sewer nuns live underground in order to feed the alligators, in order to make sure that the vampires donât try to move around via the sewer system.
When youâre just making things up, you donât need to have an answer for everything - just two layers is enough to create the illusion of infinite depth. Answer the question that looms behind the answer of the first question, and a normal reader wonât bother to dig around for a 3rd question.
This is good advice on worldbuilding.
And also.Â
I would really like to play a vampire-hunting sewer-nun and her pet alligator in a ttrpg.
Woops uh oh oops woops.
mosquitoes are doing the russian sleeping experiment on me
What real historical figures should I write extremely graphic kinky sex fiction about next?
Warren Harding / Franz Kafka
Robert Oppenheimer / Klaus Barbie
T.S. Eliot / Lord Nelson
Cleopatra / Emily Brontë
Caligula / Pope Alexander VI
Charlemagne / Agatha Christie
Stanley Kubrick / Zheng Yi Sao
Fyodor Dostoevsky / King Arthur
Joan of Arc / Marie Curie
Einstein / Bathory / Jesus
Joan and Marie are off to an early lead.
Be their bones glowing green or smouldering red, even death can't keep two women apart.
woman hand hook car door
#feminism
sometimes I randomly think about the time a girl posted in this girls only Facebook group Iâm in telling everyone how she broke up with her boyfriend and he lied saying that he lost the spare key she gave him, only to then break into her apartment when she wasnât home and steal the cat theyâd adopted while they were together, but then he denied having done this and she didnât really have proof that he took the cat since he wouldnât let her come into his place and look for it. And then another girl saw this post and knew her ex-boyfriend, and she was like âgirl. I used to hook up with your mans back in xxxx and I still have his number. If you want, Iâll hit him up and get him to invite me back to his place and see if your catâs there.â And the OP was like âbet.â
So this woman hit up homie dog, asked him out for drinks, went home with him, slept with him, and then woke up in the middle of the night and TOOK THE CAT. Like she had only said that she would confirm if the cat was there but then she took it upon herself to steal this womanâs cat back. Like she full on Trojan horsed this man and then hit up homegirl like âI got the goods. Where you wanna meet.â And then the two of them posted a photo of them together with the cat to the group.
And I just think women supporting women is so beautiful.
CLEAR & CONCISE BRANDING FOR YOUR INVALUABLE LOCAL BUSINESS CANNOT SAVE YOU
despite staff's recent changes, we're... winning??????