Sofie&Mois

yeet the deed

[starlitlori]

✦. ── BakuSquad and Lorelei Incorrect Quotes

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Lorelei, throwing her head into Katsuki’s lap: Tell me I'm pretty!

Katsuki, shoving her off: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

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Jirou, texting: Mina, will you please go to sleep?

Mina, texting back: What makes you think you didn’t just wake me up?

Jirou, yelling: I CAN HEAR YOU CLAPPING TO THE FRIENDS THEME EVERY TWENTY MINUTES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP!

Jirou, texting: Just a hunch :) You goin’ to sleep soon?

Mina, texting: I’m trying

Jirou, yelling again: TRY HARDER I HAVE A TRAINING SESSION AT 5:45 AM TOMORROW BITCH

Jirou, texting: Okay, don’t stay up too late or you’ll be cranky :)

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Lorelei: *slams books down in front of Katsuki*

Lorelei: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It’s gonna be a long night.

Katsuki: You could of said literally anything else.

Lorelei: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.

Katsuki: I’m going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won’t win. I realize this now.

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Shinso: What kinds of sounds annoy you?

Sero: Are we talking real sounds or imaginary ones?

Shinso, now interested: Lets say imaginary.

Sero: Spiders wearing flip flops.

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Lorelei: Denki, you love me, right?

Denki: Normally I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won't like.

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Lorelei: You're alive.

Sero: No need to sound so disappointed

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Kirishima: I've never asked someone out. How do you even do it?

Shinso: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: "Hey.. how you doin'?"

Denki, scoffing: Oh, please.

Shinso, to Denki: Hey, how you doin'?

Denki:

Denki: *giggles and blushes*

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Mina: You're kind of a pushover, aren't you, Kirishima?

Kirishima: ...I'm sorry.

Mina: See!? That's exactly what I'm talking about!

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Kirishima: Silence is golden.

Bakugou: Duct tape is silver.

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Lorelei: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone's cheeks, look into their eyes...

Lorelei: ...And violently jerk their head until it snaps.

Denki: ...That took an unexpected turn.

Bakugou: So did their neck.

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Sero: I'm doing what I can to jog your memory.

Denki: It's jogging, I guess. Its tiddies are jiggling a little.

Sero: Nice.

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Denki: Get on my level!

Lorelei: Unfortunately, to "get on your level" l'd need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.

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Bakugou: We wouldn't last two minutes without Kirishima.

Bakugou:

Bakugou: Don't tell him I said that.

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Lorelei: If I were a drink, l'd be Cherry Vanilla Coke. If you were a drink, what would you be?

Shinso: Bleach.

Sero: Sewage.

Kirishima: ...Please calm down, edgelords.

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Denki: Why can’t we all just get along?

Lorelei: Because most of us are assholes, Denki.

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[sixfeetblw]

this is how the netizins in my dr swore mina and I looked sat next to each other in the stands at the sports festival bc she's her (loud asf) and I highkey got a nasty ass resting bitch face so it just looked like I hated everyone on the field (I was just zoning out ngl)

[dadamans]

OMFG I TRIED TRAINING WITH JUNPEI AND I HIT HIM IN THE HEAD ON ACCIDENT AND I THINK HE HAS A CONCUSSION NOW OMG IM COOKED IM GONNA GET SCOLDED SO BAD I DONT EVEN WANNA SHIFT BACK

[sixfeetblw]

the look I give todoroki while we're paired up during a hero vs villain training exercise bc he stays taunting bakugo (the explosions are getting closer)

[akiifuu]

and the midoriyas?!

okay some lore drop here. i'm structuring this as a yap sesh bc i rly dk how else to format this bc it's a mess and our rel is so complicated but stay with me here.

izuku midoriya is my half brother. we share the same father. how it happened when me and him are so close in age? i don't rly wanna spell it out but yeah... but we're not rly aware of it until like midway thru the year. even then, we don't tell anyone bc it would just not do any good for my dad. as far as we know, we're just like family friends.

anyways his mom and my dad have had this weird ass situationship going on for the longesttttt time it's actually killing me we have dinner every sunday at the midoriyas and he INSISTS on bringing those expensive ass fruits every time we go over.

LIKE THESEEEEE

like wdym ur spending £50+ on a pack of strawberriesssss 😭 (and he won't even get me the same ones smh) and then aunty inko who obv knows the worth like won't even eat it and then it becomes this horrid routine of them 'flirting' back and forth where he keeps insisting it's a gift and she won't accept but at the end of the day it's always left on her kitchen counter.

pls don't take this the wrong way i love aunty inko with all my heart. like she took care of me LOADS when my dad couldn't and she's basically the mom i never had. the sweetest, kindest, and most caring woman i know. i daresay she'd probably find it in her to forgive anyone (unless they messed with izuku, then she's got a problem). but this is the ONE issue (not really) that i have with her. i just don't like watching old people flirting. it's weird.

me and izuku just have to sit in silence and pretend to scroll on our phones whilst they go BACK AND FORTH and my god idek what to do bruh. i look over at izuku and his face is just

like yeah... nah.

ok lore drop over. hopefully you guys get it. i'll probably drop another post abt how annoying izuku is bc that mf genuinely pmo. idw sound like katsuki here bc that guy also has a stick up his ass for no reason (there is a reason). but nah, i love them both. unfortunately.

[dadamans]

How it genuinely feels when im going off four hours of sleep, Gojo and mic are playing in my face, itafushi is gen just dancing around the fact they like each other, deku is genuinely letting bakugo do whatever to him CAUSE HES GAY AND A PUSHOVER, ochako is BROKE, Denki just made me cuss him out infront of my crush (Shes scared of me now 💔) and the higher ups genuinely trying to get me to go on another bs mission

MY MHAxJJK DR IS MY ONLY DR WHERE IVE SHIFTED BACK TO MY CR FOR AN ESCAPE FROM THEIR BS

[alylys]

Your timeskip bakudeku is gorgeous??? Holy shit??? I'm a sucker for Katsuki annoying the fuck out of Midoriya-Sensei while his students get progressively exasperated with their teacher's husband lmao

Thank youuu sm !! here is what i came up with for ur request! hope u like it <3

[seirxi]

continuation of this

[seirxi]

first day of school

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[commandertired]

Been thinking about a Jinlan City AU where some months before the trip, Shen Qingqiu gets cursed to feel pain whenever somebody is touching him.

Not only in a physical way but maybe more of a mental attack on his mind too, which makes him instinctively afraid of people coming near him (extremely complicating the clearing of his meridians), flinching away from them and getting angry when they get too close. (Maybe he doesn't even know he's cursed. Everyone else thinks it's due to his Grief)

When the mission comes up Liu Qingge advises YQY to send SQQ with them. Maybe he just needs a little change of scenery to take his mind off of things. After all, he hasn't left his peak in months, completely forbids everyone from entering his house and only leaves it himself to visit Luo Binghes 'grave'. (YQY is sold and SQQ gets dragged kicking and screaming towards Jinlan City)

When the Sower demon lunges for him, he manages to dodge just in time and it doesn't infect him. But the encounter leaves him so rattled, that by the time he steps up the stairs of the brothel, he is extremely on edge. Desperate to get this over with and go home again.

He's irritated and snaps at Gongyi Xiao to hurry up so they can move on, when he looks up to find Luo Binghe already staring at him.

One of the Huan Hua disciples notices his carefully kept distance. Deciding to antagonize him, they try to give him a subtle shoulder check as he passes by to inspect the corpse. Shen Qingqiu flinches away violently and stumbles over one of the sower's legs, directly into Luo Binghes arms. And oh no!!! Look at how red Binghe is, he must be so angry! But... doesn't it feel kinda nice to be held like this? It seems like the protagonist truly is the exception for everything

(Binghe, the poor thing, is so flustered that he barely manages to stop himself from stuttering in every sentence and desperately tries to keep his composure)

Just!!! Shen Qingqiu flinching away from everyone and keeping close to Binghe because he's the only one whose touch isn't hurting him. And weirdly enough everyone seems to keep their distance when he's near Binghe...

[buff-shizun]

So what if, just before Shen Qingqiu can self-destruct, System decides- since things are looking grim- to pull some shenanigans and poofs these two away?

Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe wake up in a field somewhere far, far away with no memory of how they got there or who they are, but they get one look at each other and come to the conclusion they must have been important to each other- husbands maybe?

Insert some time passing where they wander around, realize some things about themselves (like, whoa! They're really strong? They have swords! Binghe can heal really fast! Binghe...can actually do some freaky things with his blood? Shen Yuan is *fascinated*. Also, Shen Yuan doesn't have to eat? Or, well, he does sometimes. He's also sick? Maybe??) And basically fall in love all over again.

And they get domestic *so* fast. It's a record. They build a home in the middle of nowhere, wander their 'territory', fight together in spars and against beasts, and share tender moments of sweet sweet bonding-

And also very clumsy sex.

Look, what do you think these two are gonna do? They're sparkling clean virgins with no idea sex is even a thing. At best they figure out if they do this, stuff feels real nice, and they like doing it together. They probably only found out on *accident* and then Shen Yuan decided to be curious and experiment with it. Binghe, of course, goes along happily.

Anyway, call them blissfully ignorant because they have no idea their disappearance has caused a total uproar and chaos back home. Shang Qinghua is crying tears of blood praying to an unfeeling God (system) to please return them he can't take the paperwork anymore.

[gay--dog]

man half of my mutuals are named some shit like Snooble at this point im doing some poob as bullshit in my life

[discount--dracula]

wbat the hell you weren't even exaggerating

[fever-dreamer97]

Izuku, stomps into the room:

Bakugo: What the hell is your-

Izuku: My students came to me today and asked me to sign something.

Izuku, slams a photo on the table: Care to explain to me HOW they got a hold of this photo of me in middle school when I had that bad haircut?

Bakugo: Ha, damn. I forgot I posted that photo.

Izuku: Couch tonight.

Bakugo: Oh c’mon-

Izuku: COUCH.

Bakugo:…Okay.

[tiloopadoo]

Yue Qingyuan: Okay, I didn't want to ask this in front of Qingqiu-Shidi, but who are you really? I would know if he had a brother.

Shen Yuan: Shen Qingqiu made up that lie for a reason, I don't think you should question it.

Yue Qingyuan: It was his idea? Don't worry then, I have no right to question the secrets he chooses to keep.

Shen Yuan: You're even more complacent than I thought, damn.

[mevil]

[ckneal]

We all love the idea that the disciples of An Din Peak know about and have accepted that their shizun is colluding with demons. The idea that they have all assumed that Shang Qinghua and Mobei Jun are in a committed relationship and have universally decided to look the other way whenever faced with evidence of Mobei Jun's presence, while Shang Qinghua is still utterly oblivious to Mobei Jun's shameless courtship attempts is also gold. (I mean, just imagine the hushed conversations those disciples must have had when Liu Mingyan and the Qing Jing Peak disciples started spinning stories about Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe's theoretical relationship when they were all convinced they were sitting on the details of an actual forbidden romance.)

But I think this gets even better when you add in the idea of Mobei Jun getting frustrated in his attempts to win his strange little human's affection, and, in his pettier moments, deliberately trying to get caught by these kids who refuse to catch him.

Just imagine Mobei Jun, thinking that if he exposes Shang Qinghua as a traitor, then his human will have to seek refuge in the Ice Palace, and Mobei Jun can sweep him off his feet and into the nearest set of wedding robes. So, when Qinghua's not around, Mobei hunts down whatever closet Qinghua keeps Mobei's spare boots and fur-lined cloaks in and flings them across his floor to be discovered. He starts leaving the traditional animal-head courting gifts out on Qinghua's doorstep instead of on his desk. He "accidentally" encases half of Qinghua's leisure house in ice in the middle of summer. At one point, he heard disciples walking by and marched outside in full daylight, and still the children did not turn their heads to see the massive ice demon standing just outside their shizun's doorway.

Mobei Jun is starting to think that being very, very dense might just be one of the requirements for study on An Ding Peak. Meanwhile, Airplane is having a heart attack every other day from trying to cover up these stealth fails that no one cares about.

I dunno, I just think there's something so funny in that.