your name is ryland grace and you are a coward. you know it because it's written everywhere in your story: you are a coward and a quitter and the first one out the door when things get hard. you are good with kids because kids don't expect you to be braver than you are, and because kids respond well to distraction when you run away from a problem in front of them, and because kids are curious and open-minded and ask questions expecting surprising answers.
your name is ryland grace and you are a teacher. you are good at laying out the facts, at disgusing useful information in your quips. you are good at meeting people where they're at and getting them to understand the things that click into place in your brain so easily. you are smart but you love to learn new things and you love to help others love it, too. you used to think you were only good at teaching children. you were wrong.
your name is ryland grace and you wake up alone and with no memory of anything and it comes back to you in fits and starts: the earth is dying. you know how to save it. you used to stand in front of a classroom and help kids understand. there was a woman who believed in you. your friends needed you. your planet needed you. you do not remember being a coward because it is not important when the world is dying and you, ryland grace, are the only one who has a chance to save it.
your name is ryland grace and you remember being a coward but it feels like a different ryland grace. it feels like the ryland grace you are now, who leaps into space to collect a sample and does everything in his power to complete his mission, this ryland grace is not a coward. but you know that your name is ryland grace, and you are a coward. what do you do with that?
your name is ryland grace and you're faced with a choice: accept the fate you were so close to avoiding. go home. be a hero and be welcomed back with open arms. prove to the world you left behind that you could do it, that their faith in you was worth it, even though you are a coward.
or turn back and save the friend who is the only reason you were able to do any of it in the first place. save the friend who saved you. save the friend who can't save himself, and whose planet and people will die without him. and in doing so, make the choice you never made in the first place. make the choice to turn around and leave the earth and your people behind, never set foot on a beach again, never breath the fresh air again, never feel the light of your sun again.
your name is ryland grace and the choice is not hard. rocky would do the same for you. rocky did the same for you. rocky almost died for you. rocky gave up years of his life to make sure you could go home, and that sacrifice is the only reason saving him is even option. your name is ryland grace and you know, now, that it doesn't matter that you were a coward, once. there's more important things to worry about.
your name is ryland grace, and you get to have a hand in saving two worlds.
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