Monster Girl Maker app contest entry, i totally forgot about it and it ends today! I hope im not too late! *flails*

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@skywaterslover
Monster Girl Maker app contest entry, i totally forgot about it and it ends today! I hope im not too late! *flails*
Monster Girl Maker app contest entry, i totally forgot about it and it ends today! I hope im not too late! *flails*
Monster Girl Maker app contest entry, i totally forgot about it and it ends today! I hope im not too late! *flails*
I never shouldâve stepped outside
I never shouldâve shown you how much I cried
I just wanted to be loved, to belong
I just wanted to show my true self to you
Was that so wrong?
I wanted to help you grow, to improve
But you only wanted things to suit your mood
I saw you slipping
I tried to catch you
But all you wanted to do was fall
Could I have worded things differently?
Or did it have to be this way?
Were you meant to be taken from me?
Was I supposed to lose you?
You took everything I loved with you
And now I stand alone
The pain doesnât stop
It doesnât go away
It only swings like a pendulum between sadness and anger
Perfectly balanced
Will it ever stop?
The only way it will stop it is to break it
The only way to break it is to kill it
Is death the only answer?
The only healing for the pain?
If I fill this hole with new ones
Will I finally find peace?
You go silent and then lash out
I never know what will set you off
I fear for my life as I know it
Will today be the day you finally take what tiny pieces Iâve managed to keep?
I must stay silent
I must stay unseen
To keep whatâs left I must pretend not to care
If you see me happy
Youâll take that too
You bastard
You prick
How dare you
You think youâre worth nothing
So you donât think twice about the things you do
But your life affects those that care about you
We worry
We fear
We hurt for you
But when we try to take care of you
To point you in a better direction
You only respond with hate
I thought we were close
I thought you all cared
Friends shouldnât take sides
But they all took yours
They never cared
They never cared
No one ever cares
But
Is that only my anxiety?
My own mind playing tricks?
Surely the new ones care
Right?
The smiles
The laughs
What do they hide?
Have I only become a burden for someone else?
An unwanted child they wouldâve rather aborted?
The forever black sheep?
Too light for the darkness
But too dark for the light
I may live in an eternal contradiction
But you only surround yourself with those who echo you
I may never mature
But you will never grow
I struggle to see through the fog in my own mind
But you willingly blind yourself
You say your mind is open
But how can it be?
When it is closed to those who disagree with you?
You want to forget me now
To pretend I never existed
I donât understand how things can change in an instant
One little message
Thatâs all it took?
Were you just waiting for this chance to get rid of me?
Or maybe thatâs just my anxiety again
I cant tell the difference anymore
And no one is there to show me
Would I even believe them if they were?
They only want to be mad
To see one side
They pretend to understand
To welcome
But some problems canât explain themselves
No matter how hard they try
They canât identify what is part of them and what is not
Until its too late
Until people are hurt
Until everything
Breaks
I love it here inside my walls.
Itâs safe, and no one can hurt me.
I keep my feelings to myself and never worry anybody.
Theyâre made of thick glass, so I can still watch everyone and pretend to be with them.
It gets lonely in here though.
Because itâs just me.
Iâm never truly a part of anything.
Sometimes I wish I could step outside.
But I canât.
I hate it here inside my walls.
Theyâre too thick for me to break.
Someone from outside could break them.
If they could see them.
Maybe they could see them if I tell them theyâre there.
But Iâm scared.
What if they hurt me.
What if they laugh at my feelings.
Here inside my walls, I keep my feelings to myself.
Itâs safe, and no one can hurt me.
I love it here inside my walls.