incorrect slavic gods

adm: jamie | they/he/ey | 🇷🇺 | nonbinary ace lesbian | slavic neopagan (NOT rodnover)

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

belobog: let me see what you have

chernobog: a knife!!!

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

person: exactly how many kids you have, lada?

lada: biologically, legally or emotionally? because there's a difference

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

pravda: nothing in life is free

veles: adventure if free

morok: life is free

marowit: love is free

krivda: everything is free if you take it without paying

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

person: if you had a shot for everytime you made a bad decision would you still be sober?

bevo: yes

perun: maybe a bit tipsy

morena: wasted

chernobog: dead

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

svarog: who do you think you are?

bevo: someone who doesn't answer that question

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

rod: if you two can manage not to kill each other while i'm gone?

chernobog: oh please, we're not children

*rod leaves*

chernobog: eat shit and die

belobog: yes, fuck you

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

zhiva: so... you believe me?

triglav: zhiva, you are the last good person on the face of this miserable planet. i'd believe cartoon birds braided your hair this morning

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

perun: i was arguing with veles, in the middle of it he closed his eyes and said "i don't want to see you right now" and contioned arguing

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

jarilo, jokingly: you're not allowed to fall in love with me

morana, seriously: won't be a problem

morana after a week: T H E R E S A P R O B L E M

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

perun: we’re a family. families talk about things

devana: no! families ignore things until they go away!

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

svarog: i don't really like people, but you're okay, i guess

lada: i'm your WIFE

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

devana: men are too sensitive. they need to learn to handle me

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

jarilo said fuck gender roles and they are nonbinary

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

perun: i’m disappointed in you, devana

devana: this means… literally nothing to me

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

vesna: the nonviolent approach is probably better here

morena: i wasn't going to use violence. i don't always use violence... do i?

vesna:

morena:

zhiva: the important thing is you believe that

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

perun: all in all, a 100% success

dazhbog: perun, veles is still missing

perun: all in all, a 100% success

[slavic-gods-in-a-nutshell]

perun: why are you doing this?

chernobog: why am i doing this? because i'm a villain. pure and simple