anakin solo died a hero. it’s always what he’d wanted, what he’d hoped for. the funny thing is though — it didn’t feel like he’d ever thought it would. it was less of an act of great heroism, & more just of anakin … being himself, again & again until there was no more of himself left to give. part of him had always known he’d die doing his part of save the galaxy. it ran in his blood - that want, that need. it had always been stronger than he’d given it credit for ( too busy afraid of things going the other way, like his namesake ). anakin skywalker had done right, in the end. he’d died a hero, too. they were alike in that way. the younger had died with his own share of regrets & mistakes — who has ever been perfect ? he should have tried harder to save chewbacca. he should have understood his father’s grief more. he should have told tahiri earlier . . . he should have, he should have, he should have. ( he should have trusted his mother’s judgement better. ) ANAKIN. a difficult name to both live up to, & live down. he can only hope he did her proud. almost han, jr. had his father got his way. is that why they were so alike ? anakin a more introspective version of his father, perhaps ; but just as headstrong, as reckless, as han himself. but he’d always had the skywalker tie to the force. inherited from leia, from luke, from his grandfather, anakin’s connection the force was raw & powerful. I AM ONE WITH THE FORCE / THE FORCE IS WITH ME. neither had it been more true than at the time of his death. it had become him ; he had become it. impossible to know where anakin ended & the force began. it had been as simple as breathing ; melting away until there was no anakin left but in memories ( no anakin left, but what was in the force ). fitting that he’d inherited his mother’s force sensitivity. he might have been likened to han, but it was leia who had seen his potential ; leia who had given him his name.
it’s leia who calls to him — it is only right that he answers.
❛ who would i be if i didn’t keep you in at least a little suspense ? ❜ hi, mom. it feels different, now. he feels different. bathed in blue light, anakin is both there & not there. he smiles warmly at his mother, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. ( it feels like it did with chewie, in a way — though this time he is both perpetrator & victim ). it had to be this way. there had been no other choice. ❛ hope i didn’t leave you waiting too long. you know time’s never really been my strong suit. ❜
it’s only been days . yet the funeral feels so rushed, the last time leia had spoken him, seen him, held him … it’s been too long already. in the back of her mind, a memory surfaces. she chases him, his boyish laugh ringing along a beach [ han is behind them, indulging jaina in a game of hide and seek with jacen. for a moment, the republic isn’t front and center in their minds, they’re just a family. ] there are people who told leia her mother looked like an angel, that even anakin teased padme with the moniker. but for the first time, she sees her anakin, her son, as the angel enveloped in warmth. he is peaceful in his smile even if leia knows she can’t see him again. ❝ i should have told you to stay — you were too young to be out there. ❞ the sad smile on her lips breaks as leia wants to reach out and comfort him. she needs to tell her son that he’ll be okay [ for herself, leia should have been there, she should have stopped it. something should have happened — it’s not fair, it’s not like any loss she’s known, the heartache for alderaan enough for a lifetime, nobody can come back from this now. ] ❝ i should have been there for you. ❞ there’s so many things she can say, the emotions so overwhelming she stops, trying to remember what she said to herself on the death star. suddenly, she goes back to the princess, the girl in the cell, without a people. without a home. she looks at her son and she remembers it all. . . . leia can’t forget the pain. [ in shadows of death, leia sees those from the past. in a stone pathway, she can follow it to her father. not anakin— but the warmth of bail organa, and wherever her son is going to pass through, the force will carry him to bail as it was intended that way. he returns to warm to home which leia holds so tightly. she has survived this loss before, and she will again. for a grandfather welcomes his grandson home.] she doesn’t take her eyes off her son, memorizing every feature like it’s the last time leia’s going to see him. ❝ tahiri — she needed you. this family, we need you. it wasn’t right. ❞