sleeping moonshine

30. ISTP. specialist.

[sleepingmoonshine]

are you ok?

I try to be. I try to come off as ok anyway. Truth be told stand up is the only thing i got now. Making people laugh is all i really have to offer as far as a lot of people are concerned. I just cant escape my bad reputation. Sometimes i think ill just act how people tell other people i do but i dont have the energy or want to be spiteful or mean. I just want everyone to be happy. Im done with this blog. I dont want anyone to worry about me you all have better things to do and your own set of problems. Take care of yourself stranger goodbye.

[sleepingmoonshine]

[sleepingmoonshine]

outgrown

My moms struggling. Her rehab is going slowly and shes not sure whats gonna happen or if she can go back to work. Its going to hurt my relationship but i decided to move back and help her out til she can get back on her feet.

After that im gonna move to the city. As of right now i dont think i can move out of state with her like this. I have to stay close by.

Either way i gotta move out of the suburbs. I hate to say it but ive outgrown a lot of people. Im tired of shitty sexism and racism in my home town from people ive known for years. Im too introverted to make it socially in chicago but stand up comedy and music are the only things that keep me mentally stable.

Im going to end up alone in the city but atleast ill be doing the things i love.

[mvnicx]

[littlewhip]

[sleepingmoonshine]

here we go again

i got pulled aside at the bachelor party i was throwing for my friend tonight.

i got told that i’m being stupid for not being friends with someone.

listen that guy is a sexist and racist piece of garbage. when my soon to be ex wife stopped seeing him, then later, started seeing me he called her a slut and accused her of using him.

when she left me i didn’t even try to stop her really. which she did not interpret the way i intended. even though every part of me wished her to stay i just felt that if she was unhappy she should make her own decisions. i am not shitty enough to think that i know what’s best for someone, and i would have felt guilty if she only stayed because she felt like she had to for my sake.

even though she left i NEVER called her names like that or would accuse her of that. even after that whole youtube video debacle where she thought i was referencing her i still have nothing bad to say about her. 

but everyone thinks i stopped being friends with that guy because of petty reasons like we share an ex. i think people forget constantly that i’m the one who set them up in the first place. i just decided it was time to stop making excuses for him.

he talks about women as if their garbage. he thinks that if he does things for them they owe him a relationship. he says the n word all the fucking time.

but sure you hang out with him. i won’t. but they’re gonna make me out to be the bad guy cause i won’t shake his hand. fuckin fine i guess i’m the bad guy again. i just have to be around him for this wedding and then he can go back to whatever hole he crawled out of and i can go back to never thinking about that garbage can again.

[sleepingmoonshine]

i want to move back to the city

my girl wants me to move to nebraska. my mom is finally home but it’s up in the air how she’s gonna be. i don’t really like getting into it much.

anyway i’m not sure i can move that far away right now with her like this.

i hadn’t been taking on any new shows or mics but the other night i had to honor a show my band got booked for before my mom had the brain anyuerism that cause her stroke. next door they were doing comedy so i popped in after we got off stage there. i was like fuck it i’m in the city might as well.

i always hated the city but i realized that that is the kind of life i want to live. what am i doing with my life if not trying to pursue my dreams. i don’t want to live the kind of life where i’m just trying to get better jobs constantly. that’s not living that is just a series of transactions. 

i have a good desk job. i can keep it and work on my pension while i do stand up and music. i’d prefer to do it though, closer to where it happens the most.

[theartofanimation]

Boell Oyino  -  https://www.artstation.com/boello  -  https://www.youtube.com/user/arrhobaz  -  https://drawcrowd.com/arrhobaz  -  https://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=28437034  -  https://www.flickr.com/photos/boello/albums  -  https://www.linkedin.com/in/boello  -  https://www.instagram.com/boelloyino  -  https://www.facebook.com/Boell%20Oyino  -  https://www.behance.net/boello

[sleepingmoonshine]

i think about time a lot.

i always feel like there’s never enough and i’m always trying to balance it. i push myself to do stand up and music, but it’s exhausting after a 40 hour work week. with my mom in the ICU and going back and forth to the hospital so much i have to take a break anyway. if she can make it through this week without a complication she can go home. if not, well...

my ex wife got the divorce paperwork. i was grateful she was able to do it since i couldn’t get a day off. i’m making sure to be out of the house for a whole weekend to give her time to drop off the paperwork and get all the stuff she left. i took care of it all best i could, unfortunately some of it was damaged in the flood but i already gave her a heads up about that. i’m being pretty lackadaisical about legalities but i never thought her to be a bad person, so i trust that she wouldn’t lie about costs or try anything weird paperwork wise. as long as nothing aggravates her anxiety i can make this as smooth for her as possible and i will be out of her life forever like she wanted.

[theartofanimation]

Sergi Brosa  -  https://www.facebook.com/sergi.brosa  -  https://www.behance.net/Brosa  -  http://artofbrosa.tumblr.com  -  http://sergibrosa.blogspot.com.es  -  http://brosa.deviantart.com  -  http://theoldsergibrosa.blogspot.com.es  -  https://gumroad.com/sergibrosa#  -  https://www.patreon.com/SergiBrosa

[animepopheart]

★ ねこ堂 | MHA log2 ☆ ⊳ various (boku no hero academia) ✔ republished w/permission

[sleepingmoonshine]

i’m not good with these kinds of things.

i feel guilty for even feeling sad about it. she’s the one who has to deal with it not me. it feels selfish to even complain about it. i’m not an overly emotional person to begin with. i stayed with her for 8 hours yesterday. i helped her eat best i could. her short term memory is gone. every 5 min she asked me when i got there. you kinda just gotta go with it so she doesn’t freak out. at least she can talk but it’s like talking to a broken record who can’t remember what year it is. she’ll be in the ICU for two weeks. the doctor said there’s a 60% chance that something bad is going to happen but he kinda trailed off and wasn’t very specific about it. 

after i left i did stand up nearby. i was exhausted but i had talked to doctors and nurses all day about what was going on and i just needed to talk about something else.

i got my competition tomorrow. it’s weird telling jokes with everything thats going on but humor is how i deal with everything. i’ll tell everyone after the competition.

[sleepingmoonshine]

My mom had a stroke

She had brain surgery but shes not doing well. I havent told anyone but my girlfriend and my boss. Im not good at processing this kind of thing. Im in the ICU with my family right now trying to hold it down.

[sleepingmoonshine]

i’m 7 months in now. i’ve made a lot of progress and i know i’m not great. still i’m having a lot of fun pursuing something other than just trying to exist. comics actually put me on shows and i’m so grateful that they think of me at all. i hope you are all chasing a dream and succeeding in your craft whatever that may be and i hope no negative vibes come your way :)

[smoker9-deactivated20190630]

DrawKill fanart. https://twitter.com/DrawKill

[drawkill]

A goodie!  (*¬*)

[sleepingmoonshine]

What an amazing human being. No games with her. All in or all out. She's driving 7 hours to see me again. She puts in so much unprompted effort and I really appreciate it cause no one has ever tried that hard for me before.

[niggazinmoscow]

Todd from HR. Chad from accounting. Steve in sales. Mike the office manager.

[r0asted]

This video is my life

[tinymoose]

I AM DYYYUNG OMG