and so i guess that's just it, you were a 'once' when all i wanted was an always, you will remain an unanswered wish in the back of my mind, a story i should've told, a song i should've sung, but it all stayed an idea, a theory. and that's okay. it has to be. we were an empty canvas that should’ve been the next starry night, but now remain a ‘could’ve’, and maybe in my dreams a ‘should’ve’. sometimes I wonder… if I had just done one thing different, maybe everything would have changed, but that’s just it. love is not one little thing, it does not end or begin because of one little quirk, rather a collection of them, and if I changed enough for you to love me, then you wouldn’t love me at all. but that doesn’t stop my heart from skipping a beat when I see you in the hallway, and nothing can erase hours thinking about you, daydreaming about you. that doesn’t stop me in seeing the beauty in all of your imperfections, that doesn’t stop me from loving your crooked tooth or your too big eyes. because it never ends, at least not really. i can grow and change and take yoga and eat kale, but a part of me will love you, and maybe it will get smaller and darker but it will always be there. the butterflies will never die, i will just get better at ignoring them. so i’ll keep going, butterflies and all.
