Slenderman's Mom

I am Slenderman's maternal unit.

[slendermanmom]

Is this Slenderman's mother from the musical?

This is Slenderman’s mother. I don’t know any musical. You kids and your silly jokes.

[slendermanmom]

Hello tumblr. This is Slenderman’s mom.

In recent months there has been a very tragic and dangerous virus spreading across the globe. I want you nice kids to stay healthy. Remember to wear your masks. Also remember to get some exercise. I suggest taking walks in the woods. You should go at night so you can socially distance.

[slendermanmom]

“But you should look up SCP-530, that’s where your kid is.”

Please tell him to return home immediately from SCP-530, he has spelling homework to complete.

[slendermanmom]

Ms.Slendermom! How is your day/night/Evening? Have you had any water recently? Health is very important!

Hello tumblr user. My evening has been pleasant and I have consumed a sufficient amount of water. Thank you for asking, you are very polite.

[slendermanmom]

Grandmother! Hello hello! I made cookies with Slender today. Do you want any? (Btw he adopted me a bit ago)

This is very disappointing, my son is much too young to have children. He’s only uhhhhhhhhhh years old, this is entirely unacceptable.

Please children, remember to practice safe sex and/or kidnapping.

[slendermanmom]

“Excuse me miss, but your son has been contained by the Foundation... I’m afraid to inform you.”

I do not understand your young people slang, just tell him to be home before curfew.

[slendermanmom]

I think Slenderman is watching me-

Tell him to come home at once, he has chores.

[slendermanmom]

Hello Tumblr. This is Slenderman's mom. As it is the summer months, you kids should remember to drink lots of water water.... ....water.... . . . . w a t e r . . . .

[slendermanmom]

Hello tumblr. This is Slenderman's mom. I notice that the youth are playing a new game called Pokemon Go and that is so cool. There is actually a Mew in the park near your house. It is there at night, in the trees. Go there and get it right now, and ignore that feeling that you are being watched. That is nothing.

[slendermanmom]

Hello tumblr. This is Slenderman's mom. If anyone sees Slenderman hanging around any mostly deserted, dimly lit playgrounds, please tell him that it is 1 AM and it is time to come home. Also tell him to bring me a bottle of wine on the way back, and some eggs and milk too. If he sees a Walgreens open.

[slendermanmom]

Hello tumblr. This is Slenderman's mom. Remember to eat healthy snacks today. Dried fruit is an easy, tasty way to get your vitamins. You can make dried fruit yourself to save money. Simply set your oven to 160 degrees Fahrenheit and lay the sliced fruit of your choice on a cookie sheet. Leave your fruit in the oven for 3 to 12 hours, depending on the water content. You can dry almost anything you want using this method. My favorites are strawberries, raspberries, kiwis, pet organs, and apples.

[slendermanmom]

Hello tumblr. This is Slenderman's mom. Here is a pretty picture of interesting trees.

[slendermanmom]

Hello tumblr. This is Slenderman's mom. Slenderman has missed curfew again. If you see him standing right behind you, please tell him to come home now. It is 2 AM and he has to be at his summer job in the morning.

[slendermanmom]

Hello Tumblr. This is Slenderman's mom. Remember, at the present time, there is no absolute proof that any currently living thing is not immortal. I personally have been doing normal living human things without dying for a long time. A number of years that you should find impressive, but also not alarming.

[slendermanmom]

Hello tumblr. This is Slenderman's mom. Children, remember that you can do anything you put your mind to. You can be an astronaut, a lawyer, a ballerina, an operator....

[slendermanmom]

HELLO TUMBLR. THIS IS sLENDERMAN'S MOM. IF ANY OF YOU YOUNG PEOPLE SEE sLENDERMAN HANGING AROUND THE PARK OR IN YOUR HOME REGARDLESS OF YOUR LOCKED DOORS AND WINDOWS PLEASE TELL HIM TO COME HOME. IT IS MIDNIGHT AND I NEED HIM TO SHOW ME HOW TO TURN OFF THE CAPITAL LETTERS.

[slendermanmom]

Hello tumblr. This is Slenderman's mom. I'd just like to let you know that succulents are elitist. Don't hang out with plants that figuratively look down at you. Rather, make friends with some nice, down to earth trees. They are standing in the forest right now. Hurry up, go there immediately.