A.L.C @sliding-hiking-thoughts - Tumblr Blog

and the sound of your name brings down the perennial rain

#dead end #snail mail #i really hope you get the life that you want

No entiendo por qué tuvimos que mudarnos a un país tan complicado. O a una ciudad tan estúpida como Brisbane. De verdad no entiendo.

No me está gustando para nada la vida aquí, y lo digo en el sentido laboral, de hecho. Qué difícil es avanzar en este país. Todo está terriblemente planeado. Es asqueroso. Ni siquiera para entrar a trabajos de construcción... no mames.

Estoy considerando muy seriamente largarme alv de aquí JAJAJAJA nocierto pero ojalá ese fuera nuestro plan. Mínimo mudarnos de puta ciudad. Una más grande. Algo mejor. Pero mi chiquita tiene que terminar su maestría pendeja que ni le gusta lol.

No sé exactamente qué vaya a pasar. Aparte tenemos que considerar la situación global. Estamos en putas perras Australia, atrapadas si es que decide comenzar la tercera guerra mundial. El país no cuenta con reservas de gasolina, y al parecer en un mes se quedan tablas.

Puras mamadas, y todo porque unos judíos de mierda quieren dominar el mundo, no perras mames.

China está a nada de atacar a Taiwan. ¿Y LUEGO QUÉ?

Me caga estar aquí. Me hubiera encantado quedarme en Vancouver. Quedarme en Canadá.

Extraño mucho mi vida de antes.

#personal

expressions-of-nature

by Kat Closon

Also, there are signs. They speak to me. To us.

One must only welcome them when we see them.

#personal

I believe everything is going to be alright. I believe we are going to reach our goals and our dreams. I believe anything we set our mind to, will happen.

We do have the capacity to create our own reality. Now more than ever I am starting to realize that. Now more than ever I can actually understand it.

I want it to be fast though, so I will make it fast. I also want my girl to believe in it, to believe in herself. Which is why I know she will get a good job. A job filled even with more opportunities. A job where she will realize her true potential.

The way I see her, she will see herself in the same light too.

We are so ready and so close to become the people we actually want to be. Everything is falling in line as I type this. Cause it is that simple. Cause I know it so.

I can give it different names, but honestly I rather call it facts. It's a fact and it is done.

#personal

remanence-of-love

ledwinged

I need to write. I must write. I don't know what should I write about, I don't know exactly what is it I'm trying to express, but I do know I must write.

Currently life is new again, and weird. Currently not everything makes sense, but I must figure it out. I need to write so I don't go insane again. I write so I can reconnect with myself. I am in a new country, a place were I don't know anyone except my wife and one friend I made in Canada. My friend and I don't see each other that often. She works, has a boyfriend, and has a lot of hobbies and friends of her own so we can't really see one another constantly. I don't even know if I would like that; to see her constantly. I do see my wife everyday, thank goodness. We moved here 'cause she started her Masters degree and I jumped to the new adventure and opportunities.

It's hard starting over in a new place. Please, if anyone is reading this, don't want you to think that I'm complaining or feeling sorry about myself. I am not. But it is hard to start over. It is also refreshing.

We need to get jobs. All of our savings are slipping through and I am starting to get worried. I don't want to be in a position where we need to ask someone for a loan. I really don't.

It's weird being worried about this when the entire planet is going to hell. It is very weird being a human right now.

So I must write, or I will go insane.

I have always been interested in politics, today that interest makes me sick to my stomach. I do love being informed, but currently the information out there is just so depressing and so hateful that I sometimes don't know how to cope.

And we are starting over in a new country, with different accents, with different people, with cero knowledge about anything, about how things work here. Day by day we learn a few new things, we do a little bit more, we try a little bit harder. How can i be everything and be everywhere? How can I start doing what I really want to do? (What is it that I really wanna do?)

I am full of contradictions.

<<The past and present wilt—I have fill’d them, emptied them. And proceed to fill my next fold of the future.

Listener up there! what have you to confide to me? Look in my face while I snuff the sidle of evening, (Talk honestly, no one else hears you, and I stay only a minute longer.)

Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself, (I am large, I contain multitudes.)

I concentrate toward them that are nigh, I wait on the door-slab.

Who has done his day’s work? who will soonest be through with his supper? Who wishes to walk with me?

Will you speak before I am gone? will you prove already too late?>>

We do contain multitudes, just like Whitman. I do contain mutitudes.

I need money. I want money. I hate capitalism. I need work. I will work. I hate capitalism. Life goes on, millionaires and billionaires all kill babies and rape children, I need to find work. I hate capitalism. Where is the divide? When will it all change? Can we actually do something? I hate capitalism. I believe in socialism. Can we actually organize? Can people stop being scared? I love my wife, will the revolution actually start? I hate capitalism. I am afraid. I need to live. Life was meant to be lived, isn't it? I fucking hate capitalism.

So here we are, my wife and I, trying to find a new place to call home, trying to make new friends. Thank God I have her, thank God she has me. The world is collapsing but each night when we lay together we talk in our silly voices, we tell secrets to each other, we kiss, we cuddle, and it is in her arms where I can finally rest and try not to think too much. It is with her where I am at my best, and it for her that I want to be the best. I want to give her everything. I want us to have everything.

But God, I fucking hate capitalism.

Is this the multitudes I have within me? Can I be a lover, a hiker, an explorer, and have materialistic ambitions? Can I contradict myself in such ways? Am I allowed? Can I seek a job in sales while reading the introduction to Marxism? Am I a hypocrite? Can the end of the world happen soon? Can someone tell me if everything is going to be ok?

I wish to be successful, I wish to travel. I wish to provide for my parents, I wish to provide for us. I wish for a better, kinder world, and I hate capitalism.

How can get rid of the evil? (with a revolution) How can we change this sick world? (with a revolution)

Do you think we can actually make it? Do you think we'll make it?

Will God punish the entire human race? Are we being punished right now? Is someone up there, anywhere, looking at us and feeling disappointed? Do all humans need to pay for what's happening? Do we all deserve the same punishment? Sometimes I think we are in actual hell. When I am in her arms I know that's what heaven feels like.

Can my wife's smile save me from this doomed world? (I believe it can) Can her laugh anchor me in a positive way? (It can) Can a kiss give me back my soul? (Her kisses can) Could it be that by being hers I am a better me? (I am)

I need to believe that everything will be alright. I know the universe hasn't forgotten about me, after all we are made of the same things. I possess the force of the ocean tides. I am as subtle and gentle as the morning dew. I can shine as bright as the farthest star. She can reach me with her hands.

I must write, cause I am going insane. Nothing makes sense anymore. And I need to find a fucking job.

#personal #writing #my writing #current state of the world is driving me insane #i hate capitalism