Slim-bero

[slim-bero-blog]

I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS STORY PLEASE PLEASE FINISH I BEG OF U😭😭😭💙💙💙

OH GOSH I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LACK OF UPDATES!! I have had the lot in my head for some time now but due to lack of ideas/ lack of motivation I haven't been able to get my butt into gear and keep writing :(

[slim-bero-blog]

Just wondering, are you going to finish Curtains? You're amazing! <3

*sigh* I feel really terrible for kind of giving up on everything and not updating like I had promised but things in my life got really crazy and I lost all motivation to write. But I do plan on finishing it! I can't make any promises on how soon, but it totally won't be another five months haha.

And thank you I really appriciae it <3

[slim-bero-blog]

You seriously know how to leave us wanting more. Love it!

Happy new years anon!!

[slim-bero-blog]

I love Hillel even though he's a cheating asshole. Please don't make us wait another month for the next chapter!

I promise I won't! And I'm terribly sorry I made you guys wait so long bu it as just ne thing after another but the updates will be much more on schedule

[slim-bero-blog]

Curtains (6)

The engine hummed as we sat in front of John’s apartment complex. For once John wasn’t grinning; his face was dusted with discontent.

“So can I come over later?”

 “I don’t think that would be a good idea John. Hillel might be there picking up his stuff and there might be a fight. You should give Anthony a call soon so you can get your lessons in order with Hillel.” The air seemed to thicken around us and I tapped my fingers nervously. “I had a great time you know… but I do need to get going. Don’t forget to call Anthony okay?”

“Yeah. Whatever.” John replied quietly as he slammed the door shut and trotted off into the apartment courtyard. I let out a sign and shifted gears rolling down the street to the nearest exit.

Drawing a bath of soothing hot water and crawling inside I couldn’t stop thinking about my day with John. I hadn’t had that much fun in god knows how long and I could still feel his warm chest and rhythmic heart beat pulled close against me. I had forgotten what it was like to wake up with someone’s arms wrapped around my body in a tight embrace. I felt guilty for fantasizing about another man but what was the use when your partner feels no pain in loving another as well? I  pulled the landline to the edge of the tub and dialed Haya’s number hoping to find some peace.

“Hello?”

“Haya? It’s me. What’s up?”

“Hey you! It’s about time you called I thought you died or something! What’s new?”

“A bunch of stupid shit honestly, I kind of feel dead.”

“Oh no… what happened? Is everything okay with Hillel?”

“That’s the thing… It’s just… Can I ask you a personal question just between you and me?”

“Of course. Shoot.”

“I know how much you loved Anthony and how hard the breakup was on you but you never said exactly why you left him.”

There was a moment of silence. “The thing with Anthony was… I know that he really loved me, but he just had this thing inside him like he had to have a taste of every kind of woman the world had to offer. I ignored it for so long telling myself that what happened on the road didn’t matter because I was the one that he would come home to. Eventually it all came to a head and I realized that I was worth more than that, I was worth more than a dope sick , I was worth more than a dope sick boyfriend, and that there as more than just suppressing jealousy. Does that make any sense?”

“Yeah it makes plenty of sense I totally understand.”

“So do you want to tell me what’s going on? Are you okay?”

The water sloshed around a bit as I leaned back and moved the phone to my other ear.

“I’m… fine for lack of a better word. There’s just some shit going on around here that’s too deep to get into over the phone, I was just hoping to find clarity in darkness I guess.”

“Aren’t we all?” she chuckled. “You know you can tell me anything right?”

“Yeah I know. Thanks for talking with me Haya I really owe you.”

“Any time, talk to you later.”

“Bye bye.”

I closed my eyes. Nothing seemed real, I didn’t even feel real. It’s not like I cheated and fucked someone else so why was I angry at myself and not Hillel? Nothing made sense.

There was a knock at the door. Shit. I ignored it not giving a shit who it was or what they wanted. I kept my eyes closed blocking out the knocking until it stopped. Finally there was silence and I let out a deep breath finally in the safe zone.

“Hello?” Hillel’s voice rang out from down the hall. I froze hoping he would leave thinking that I had gone somewhere else. His footsteps drew closer until finally I could hear him step in front of the bathroom door. I jumped and covered myself as he poked his head in.

“Hey…” He mumbled. “Can we talk?”

“Really Hillel? I’m in the tub just leave me alone. It hasn’t even been a day since all of that bullshit.”

He stepped into the small bathroom closing the door behind him.

“Yeah really. Listen I owe you an apology for yesterday and well… the past year really. I haven’t been good to you and I’m lucky you didn’t leave me sooner, I understand if you can’t forgive me. I fucked up big time and I’m fucked up because you’re the coolest chick I have ever met and I wasted my chance to have you all to myself by getting high and fucking other women.”

I turned my head and covered my face breathing in deeply to hold back the tears. There was a dull thudding sound of Hillel’s shoes being dropped onto the floor as he made his way into the bath fully clothed.

“Hey now don’t cry beautiful, please…” He leaned in and placed his thumb on my cheek wiping away small tears from my lash line. I turned to him and could see that he was starting to tear up, which had never happened in our relationship.

“So you promise nothing like that will ever happen again?”

“On my father’s grave.”

“I swear to god I’ll kill you if it happens again…”

“I’ll do the job myself if it does.” He flashed me a small smile and placed a wet kiss on my forehead. “I’ll love you until the day I die.”

[slim-bero-blog]

Can't wait :D

:D

[slim-bero-blog]

Thank you all for your undying patience with my lack of updates my internet was shut off but I will have another chapter up soon

[slim-bero-blog]

YES YES I MISS YOU

I MISS YOU TOO DEAR ANON!! I'm so sorry for not updating things have been really hard but when I do update it will be regularly

[slim-bero-blog]

Okay, okay, okay. So lots of stuff has been happening and I probably won't be able to update for just a little bit longer but I'll probably put out more chapters at one time when I do!

[slim-bero-blog]

i'm hooked!

This is what I like to hear! Thank you!

[slim-bero-blog]

when are you updatinggggg

sooooonnnn sorrryyyyy

[slim-bero-blog]

so sweet :)

Just like you anon

[slim-bero-blog]

THANK YOU! I'm the one who was down on one knee begging you. I love this fic, it makes me feel so happy inside!

YAY!!! I'm really glad you like it :)

[slim-bero-blog]

Curtains (John/Hillel) 5

It was hard telling if John was enjoying himself or not, his face didn’t give me any hints to whatever was wandering through his mind. Our breakfast was filled with back and forth unimportant small talk about various escapades and debauchery. When it was my turn to speak he waited quietly until I was finished and retorted with something witty and off beat which was actually entertaining. He wasn’t half as bad as I had thought; and I was starting to warm up to his company.

“What now?” He said with a crooked smile tossing a tip onto the table.

“I don’t really know… I could take you back to the city if you want.”

“What’s down the rest of this highway?”

“Nothing really, it just takes you to Nevada. Hillel and I have pretty much covered every inch of road out here.” I shaded my eyes from the blistering sun and watched John survey the scene kicking up dust with his boots.

“What about those little back roads heading to the North West?”

“Actually… I have no idea just some farms I guess. Maybe a detour to another part of the highway.”

“Uncharted territory huh? I want you to take me there!” His smile was childish and I couldn’t help but grin back. We filled up the gas tank and continued our journey farther into the desolate tract. John fussed with the radio unsatisfied with any available stations until his eyes caught a glimpse of the unraveled cassette tossed aside after my fit of rage.

“What the fuck happened to this? This is one of Bootsy’s best albums.”

“Oh it’s something Hillel left in my car… I got pissed and tore it up. It was one of his favorites too… I think there are a few others in the glove compartment.” My response was delayed knowing he was bound to ask questions.

“Shit. The dude must have done something pretty bad if you tore up his favorite cassette. What happened? You guys were fine yesterday.”

“First of all you don’t know shit about our relationship, and secondly it’s none of your business. Just put something on so things don’t get awkward.”

“Sheesh it was pretty bad wasn’t it?”

“Obviously.” He was starting up with his pretty boy persistence again.

“Okay, okay, I get that you don’t want t talk about it but just let me put it out there: yeah I don’t know shit about your relationship and probably would never understand how you’re feeling. It’s none of my business and you don’t have to share, but you also don’t know anything about me or my relationships with women so you don’t know what I know either. Why don’t you take advantage of having a dude around who will listen to your shit; and maybe be able to give you some advice? Oh, and just so you know, I don’t get awkward so spit it out.”

I let out a sigh and brought my hand to my mouth hardly expecting so much sass to roll out of a teenage boy’s mouth, especially to a girl he barely knows.

“Shit man you really know how to put a girl in an extremely difficult position. The thing is… Hillel and I have had our problems over the years alongside all of our love for each other and… I love him okay? I also don’t want to hurt his income if word gets out and happens to get to his students.”

“Caring woman, normal relationship fights, I respect that and I won’t say a word just keep going.”

I pursed my lips and reached for a cigarette.

“I just hate never being kept in the loop, like with band things and after parties and stuff. The guys can get me into most venues but there are times when the bouncer is being a dick, I have to work that night yadda yadda yadda. Anyway, most of the time he is either coming home days after he said he would or on his way out of the door by the time I get home so I never get to fall asleep or wake up with him. I have this constant fear that one of these days he’s going to realize that our relationship isn’t the same anymore and he won’t bother coming home because there’s no one there but a smitten teenager. I hate going out with the guys or watching them play because they are always either fucked up or having hoards of girls hitting on them, all the while I have to sit and smile because we need the money. Last night… last night was just the cherry on the cake…” I felt John’s hand slip over to mine as he gently rubbed his calloused thumb over the top of my hand. I let out a strained chuckle trying to keep the water in my eyes from turning into actual tears. The road wasn’t much more than a grassless path with barbed wire fence strewn about along the sides and up ahead looked to be a few bizarre rock formations standing tall on the horizon. “Wanna check out that weird shit over there?” I pointed over to the rocks figuring John got the gist of my little spiel.

“I wanna do whatever you want to do all mighty driver of the car.” He looked over flashing me a smile giving my hand a little squeeze as we zoomed over to the boulders.

We climbed up and down the majestic formations countless times until it felt like every limb would fall off. Our clothes were covered in red clay and our hair was like wild snakes formed with the whipping winds. Laughing and dancing around like idiots time seemed to fly and soon the sun began to set on our day adventure to unknown lands. I sat down on my car’s dusty hood and rested my chin on my knees soaking in the last bit of sun. John jogged over and took a seat next to me on the hood looking out into the sea of red.

“The end to an interesting day” I muttered. “I have to say I’m a little sad to see it go.”

“Me too” he replied.

As the sun set the stars came out in incredible numbers unpolluted by city lights along with the chilly night air. John and I sat shivering for a while not saying a word, absorbed in the new surroundings.

“Do you want to head back?” I asked through chattering teeth.

“Not really… I like it out here with you. I just wish it wasn’t so damn cold.”

“Follow me I think I have just the thing” we slid off of the hood and John followed me towards the trunk. Pulling out my designated ‘ride’ quilt I shut the hood and climbed into the back seat. “Don’t get any ideas, I only have one blanket but I’m more than willing to share.”

John climbed in, shutting the door behind him and wiggling in to the center of the seat. We adjusted everything just so, and laid down looking at the stars from the rear window wrapped in a nice warm quilt. I could feel my eyes getting heavy as I listened to the pounding of John’s heart, he smelled nice like clean man and leather. Before I knew it I was out like a light.

[slim-bero-blog]

I'm down on one knee, begging you to update NOW!

D: I'm so sorry dear anon! I have been working a lot but I will do my best to either update tonight for tomorrow!

[slim-bero-blog]

I am so glad you started writing again. I'm a big - no- HUGE fan of your other John fic! I just read the first 4 chapters and I can't wait for the next one. You're awesome!!!

[slim-bero-blog]

Curtains (John/Hillel) 4

There was loud knocking at the door around eleven just as I finished brewing a fresh pot of coffee. I debated whether or not to answer, assuming that Hillel was crashing and wanting to come home to recoup. Biting my lip I decided to answer in case it was one of his students who didn’t get the memo that Hillel probably wouldn’t be around anymore because he liked to bang other women. The knocking persisted as I turned off the coffee pot and threw on a house coat. It was a relief when I didn’t see Hillel standing in the doorway but still a minor annoyance when I saw the skinny kid from yesterday shooting me a devilish grin.

“Hey. Is Hillel here? I was hoping to catch a lesson or something.” Smoke trails rolled out of his pouty lips as he brought his cigarette back to the corner of his mouth.

“Hillel isn’t here” I said flatly. “He probably won’t be here anymore, I can give you a few numbers of places he hangs out so you can contact him.”

“Oh.” The devilish grin never seemed to leave this kid’s face; he poked his head in through the door looking towards the kitchen. “Anything for breakfast?”

“No not today only coffee, I’ll go get those numbers for you. Wait here for a second.”

Totally ignoring what I just said to him he followed me to the kitchen and took a seat at the table. I shot him a quizzical look a little shocked at his boldness and lack of tact making himself at home in the kitchen.

“So you don’t have any cereal or anything?”

“Don’t your parents feed you?” I retorted grabbing a pen and some paper.

“I don’t live with my parents so the food supply is pretty limited.” His eyes followed my hands intently as I scribbled down Anthony and Jack’s phone numbers, never breaking focus.  He was interesting to say the least, and obviously unaware of personal boundaries.

“Here you go, you should be able to get ahold of Hillel at one of these numbers. Good luck.”

When I finished writing everything down I stood up and handed him the folded piece of paper which he then placed in his ratty torn up pocket. He looked up at me with that same stupid smile plastered on his face like he always did and looked me up and down.

“What?” I asked.

He let out a snort “I like your bathrobe, is it real silk?”

“No it’s not but thanks anyway. You should probably get going now I have things to do.”

“Yeah, like what?”

“None of your business that’s what, can you please get out of here?”

“Want to get breakfast with me?” Shit that’s all this dude thinks about!

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

“You should, you look sad and your snappy attitude is obviously a sign that you need to eat. I’ll pitch in for gas or whatever.”

I stopped for a second realizing that I was actually pretty hungry although the idea of having breakfast with this strange kid wasn’t very appealing.

“I know what you’re thinking,” He said leaning back in his chair. “You think I’m some loser kid trying to get into your pants and you’re too cool because you have an older boyfriend in a great band. But you’re what? 18? 19? Yeah?”

“I’m 18 but-“

“Exactly, your only 18 ‘but…’ You forget your real age a lot because you run around with an older crowd huh? I would too, but the truth is not everybody takes you seriously because of that. You’re probably right in saying that I’m young, dumb, and would totally bang you but don’t you get tired of pretending to be a grown up? All I’m asking is that you come eat with me because we’re both hungry and you could use somebody your own age hanging around.”

Flashes of the bar last night when people were making comments about kids getting in and Hillel making out with someone closer to his age raced through my mind. I never thought much about our age gap and as far as I was concerned the moment I turned 18 I was an adult, and people seemed to agree. Was it all just a show? Or did people really respect me despite my age?

“…Fine. Give me whatever cash you have and we can go to this place Hillel and I eat at whenever we can. It’s a bit of a drive but it’s fantastic.”

“Quit tugging at your skirt you look fine” Haya calmly grabbed my hand and pulled me up to the front door. Music was blasting and we could hear people inside yelling and laughing at indistinct conversations.

“I’ve never been to a party before dude, what if I’m over dressed? Are you sure Anthony won’t be mad that I’m here with you?”

“Again, you look fine so quit worrying about that, and Anthony has been begging to meet you for a long time now. He feels bad that I spend so much time with him and never bring you along, so get in there and introduce yourself to as many people as possible okay?”I nodded nervously following her inside weaving in between swarms of people looking for Anthony. “Follow me!” Haya shouted as she darted over to a small circle of guys hanging out in the corner next to a dirty fireplace. They welcomed her warmly and handed her a beer barely noticing me lurking awkwardly on the outside of their circle. “Everyone, this is my best friend I’m always talking about!” She announced. “I finally managed to drag her out of her solitary punk environment for an evening and I want you all to make her feel welcome.” A blush crept across my face as everyone introduced themselves and shook my hand.

“I’m happy you both made it! Do you want a beer?” Anthony said with a smile gesturing to a small cooler tucked away in the fireplace.

“Sure, if you don’t mind” I stammered.

“We have plenty to share if you want one, you don’t have to.”

“Well if you have a few to spare then I’ll indulge.”

“To indulgence!”

“To indulgence!” Everyone raised their glasses in an epic toast to kick the night off.

Haya and Anthony disappeared after a while and my small crowd of acquaintances dispersed as more people walked through the door leaving me alone next to the record player that was playing a warped ‘Germs’ record. Nearly half of the western wall was lined with shelves filled with stacks and stacks of records, all filed alphabetically in perfect order. I entertained myself browsing the broad selection while guzzling as many drinks as I could hoping to gain enough confidence to talk to somebody, anybody, or at least try and find Haya.

“Quite a collection huh? I’m always begging Anthony for his signed copy of ‘Rocket to Russia.’“  Turning around I tried to steady my vision to see who exactly was talking to me, much to my surprise it was the one friend of Anthony’s who had hardly seemed interested in introducing himself earlier.

“Oh… so this is Anthony’s collection? I was wondering who had such amazing taste in music, I’m glad Haya finally found somebody at least kind of cool.”

 “Yeah I’m only half responsible for helping him build his collection; the rest is all on his dad. I swear every time I buy a new record it always winds up on this shelf, but sharing is caring I guess.” He let out a throaty chuckle and pulled one of the records off of the shelf, examining the cover. “I’m Hillel by the way, I didn’t really have a chance to introduce myself earlier with all of the excitement going on.”

“It’s fine, honestly I’m kind of drunk so I’m not sure I would have remembered anyway.” I could feel my eyes rolling around like marbles in a tin can so I stuck my hands in my pockets and leaned against the wall trying to steady myself. How embarrassing.

“Well you seem to be keeping it together pretty fine, I like your jacket by the way. Is that real leather?”

“Yeah my parents got it for me when I got baptized, my father said it was an inappropriate gift to be presented at the church but I refused any other gift. Sort of a bratty move but what can you do? I was like 14 and didn’t want anything else.”

“Baptized in the church for a leather jacket huh? Can’t get any better than a punk as fuck catholic girl.” We laughed and stood talking for a while until the party died down and people began to stagger home.

“Fuck” I said looking at the clock. “The buses stopped running an hour ago, and Haya refused to drive home until tomorrow. I guess I could walk back to Silverlake…” I cursed and slurred under my breath failing to think of any logical solution on how to get home.

“Well if you’re not creeped out I could drive you home, there’s no way I’m going to let you walk all the way to Silverlake from here you’re way too drunk.”

“No it’s cool save your gas, it’s only a few miles away.”

“Don’t worry about that I have a day job so I can afford the extra 50 or so cents that it will cost me to put gas in my tank. I’m not going to let a pretty girl walk home in the dark, they don’t call me the Israeli cowboy for nothing!” I began to blush hardly believing that this hot guy actually called me cute and was willing to take me back to my place.

About fifteen minutes later we pulled up to the front of my house nestled in the darkness behind a burnt out street light. We sat in silence for a while not even looking at each other, listening to the motor running.

“Well here we are” He said breaking the silence.

“Yeah… here it is… can I tell you something? Promise you won’t get mad?” My voice was sloppy and drawn out.

“Sure, go for it.”

“Well you see… I actually told my parents that I was staying with Haya for the night so I wouldn’t be able to make it to Sunday services…”

“So what do you want to do?” He looked over at me with clear bright eyes and I could feel myself sinking in his gaze.

“Hmm… I have some change in my purse, do you want to just drive around? It’s my favorite thing to do. I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to but-“

“That sounds great actually, I know of a really great place pretty far away that serves the best hang over food on the earth, we could go there if you want. We could nibble on pancakes and watch the sun rise.”

“Where the hell are we? This place is in the middle of nowhere, it’s just desert for hours and hours!” John poked at his egg yolks sending little rivers of yellow over the crisp white. “What’s so special about this truck stop diner anyway?”

“Just shut up and eat your breakfast and maybe I’ll buy you a pack of cigarettes.”