hi! it’s been a little over a year since i’ve logged into this account! and yes, i was able to separate myself from minecraft content for about a year, but then qsmp came out and i relapsed. now i am interested in minecraft rp again. i remembered this blog and wondered how everyone was doing. but i would feel bad if only *i* got to see what *you*’ve been up to! so here are some updates on my life.
BUT FIRST, i would like to talk about how this blog has affected me long-term.
the post above was more true than i could have probably imagined at the time. i cannot watch ranboo or tubbo anymore without feeling guilt and shame. i regret my past actions, but weirdly enough, i do not regret creating this blog. ultimately, i believe this blog was an important part of my personal growth. though, i now associate it with a dark time in my life. not entirely because of shipping either: i was actually one of the people who was actively trying to take down ‘fltwt’ accounts and helping to decrease the spread of the doxxes. this really took a toll on my mental health, and after all was said and done i never wanted to deal with doxxes, personal info, or ‘lore’ ever again. i became averse to the blogs i once viewed as gossip accounts. now when i think a streamer is gay/autistic/aromantic/whatever i just keep it to myself. but yeah, that was unexpected, huh?
you know, i always like to leave up old accounts to see the kind of person i was in the past. for the first time, i have archived/deleted old posts. on this account, i’ve made posts i am truly embarrassed by; i feel like those should not be accessible to anyone. i hope one day someone does bring communities like ebblr to light, not to promote them, but as a warning for others to prevent things like this from happening again (would fltwt have existed without ebblr? i can’t say). i liked having a private community where i could talk about ‘truthing’, but i underestimated the impact of my participation. in the end, i was complicit in something that likely affected real people’s relationships and mental health. i will never make that mistake again.
soooo now i live a pretty normal life. i have a wonderful girlfriend, i’m applying to grad school soon, and i’m learning some new languages (thanks, qsmp). i watched genloss, thought it was kind of cool (jerma and slimecicle interacted guys), but also kind of mediocre (ranboo is not a strong writer). i really like watching forever and baghera right now and i also started watching phil again. i cried like a little bitch for three days straight when i found out that techno passed. uhhhh i really enjoy poetry and writing little audio plays in my free time. i have a nice summer job right now. overall i’d say i’m pretty happy with where i am! i was honestly surprised to get back into minecraft content, but i’ve been following minecraft creators for most of my life, so maybe i should have expected this.
anyway, i hope you are all doing well. most of you seem to have left (kudos!), some of you seem to still be cool, and some maybe a bit too single-minded or obsessed. but hey, i get it. ALSO apologies for the poor english/grammar in this post, learning other languages makes you bad at your native language for some reason.
and while we’re here, let’s revisit my final unposted draft:
i have no idea what this means but it’s pretty funny without the context, whatever that was.
hiii i’ve decided it’s finally time to forcefully rip myself away from mcyt content. i’ve been following it since may 2020, so it’s been two whole years. IT IS MY TIME! *dematerializes into dust*
I’m the opposite 💀 every time I see drama I get less interested. i don’t watch anyone’s streams anymore except for bbh and mcc.
that's interesting! i can see where you're coming from though, if i was still an active fan it would definitely be more annoying than fascinating.
i basically only watch jack or connor atp, anyone else can be a bit too much for me. also i started watching (new age) mcyt with bbh, he's such a genuine guy :-)
i watched heartstopper and tbh it was kind of boring but i’m giving it the benefit of the doubt because it was written so many years ago
there’s so many compelling and true to life ways to write homophobia into a story but the way heartstopper did it was kind of.. blunt? even as a lesbian with lgbt friends i could not see myself or anyone i know in any of the characters, which made it feel very off to me.
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