SLOB LIFE

Slob is a girl. A girl who needs to be blogged about. There is no taming this girl. She is what she is and she is what she isnt. We laugh at her for so many instances, we wanted you to laugh with us about her. The reason for starting this was from the call I received at 10am this morning. (Work started at 8.30) ‘Dudeeeee you need to come meet me in the lobby at work I am totally getting FIRED.’ So today started with Slob walking into work an hour and a half late and looking like a taxi had run over her 50 times and left her in the gutter to rot. Let me put it this way- dried drool on her mouth was a clear indication that she has literally ROLLED OUT OF BED. Ah this goddess is way too much for life, she is a Slob, she is Slob Life.

[slob-blog]

It was a very sad day today, having to say good bye to a very loved Slob. Yes she is spreading her wings and soaring over to California.

But not to worry, she left her mark here by not taking anything home with her. Yep left all her books and papers as you can see from the first picture, but also left a coat, shoes, scarf, purse, vitamins and a BLACK BERRY.

We'll miss you Slobby. Thanks for the office donations.

[slob-blog]

Legit Question

Manager: Chloe, are you going to a ball tonight? [In regards to sequined shirt Slob is wearing]

Slob: This is Sue's favorite top of mine if you remember.

Sue (elderly lady in office who shares a desk area with Slob): Oh, did you clean it?

Legit question. You never know with Slob.

[whatshouldwecallmeskidmore]

Slob after she drinks

MORNING:

AFTERNOON:

NIGHT:

[slob-blog]

This photo is in relation to a previous entry about Slobs bandaided up feet. Please now see her desk chair wheel. Yes, it has one of her dirty used bandaids stuck to it.

Warning: you may want to throw up.

#sloblyf

#vomit.

[slob-blog]

WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?

being a slob

[slob-blog]

"What I'm a gurl"

Manager walks past Slobs desk.

Stops and pauses.

Looks at ground.

Nearly kicks a tampon out of the way.

Manager- "Whats this?"

*Stops and stares at tampon on floor*

Slob- "What guys, I'm a gurl!"

hashtagsloblyf

[slob-blog]

Slobs dad cant get enough.

But he can...

and has.

[slob-blog]

Tweeter Twit

Someone 'Favorited' this charming Tweet.

Cleanse ain't over yet Slob.

[slob-blog]

Manager Response To Feet

Manager- "If you were in India you'd be an untouchable."

Slob- "Whats that?"

Manager- "The lowest group in Indias caste system."

Slob- "They're from heels okay, you don’t know what that’s like."

Manager- "They are from Leprosy!"

I mean, its not not!

[slob-blog]

FYI- to previous entries.

1. Jeter wasnt playing last night at the Yankee game.

2. Slob response to feet image "wow my feet look so tan."

Bless this Slob.

[slob-blog]

Slobs feet today...

Even after we told her how gross it is, even after we told her about the fresh bandaids in the kitchen, they still look like this.

If only Slobs feet could talk.

[slob-blog]

Slob was so impressed with her fav Yankee, Jester.

Jester.

jeSter???!!!

She is a big fan.

[slob-blog]

Juice Cleanse.

Slobs version of a 3 day juice cleanse.

Walking into work this morning as we all hybernate around the elevators, up rocks Slob. We all kinda do a double take at her pale, half open eyed face, as she holds an extra large coffee wearing the same clothes from last night.

Manager- "Slob you look like you are...."

Slob- "Yes, Yes I am whatever you are about to say HAHAHHAHA."

I mean she didnt technically break the 3 day juice cleanse (yes only 3 days this cleanse was) because alcohol is a liquid and she did not eat!!!

Kudos Slob, you make us proud.

Go Yankees?!

[slob-blog]

Yes, this is Slobs computer screens...

What is all over them, we will never know.

[slob-blog]

This is a classic video of slob.

Her friend Jack was leaving his room after tucking drunk/passed out Slob into bed when all of a sudden he heard crumpling of a chip packet. Shocked to hear that, he turned around and then, like a drunk magician, Slob is drunk/sleep/passed the eff out, eating a packet of Doritos. 

Enjoy, feel free to save for your own personal collection, I know I did.

[slob-blog]

Just Slob doing her Slob thing at the Christmas party.

How did she come up with those original moves?

"I dont know I just started doing them and now thats like my thing."

[slob-blog]

Ex Boyfriend

Slob- "Dude my ex just called me and he actually went to an insane asylum. No but seriously he thought he was reincarnated as Jesus Christ."