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slocumjoe

lovelyfilth

“This is the happiest I’ve ever been since I’ve joined the Brotherhood. Thank you.”

#biting biting biting bitinf

what-even-is-thiss

Why in fallout do so many of the women still act like being beat up by a girl is embarrassing? This is a world where women run major crime operations and fight to the death in blood sport arena matches just as often as men do.

cavernclaw

Original ver below

furyjohnson

Sole Survivor x Danse

slocumjoe

You SPEEDRAN falling in love with an NPC, I have never seen someone go from "who tf is this?" to "sleeping to dialog comps" so fast. Its kinda impressive and I salute you

shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup

slocumjoe

In memory of when I was bamboozled and tricked into falling in love with porter gage

#remember when that 1 person offered to buy the dlc for me so id write gage in my reacts and shit?#i was so enamoured with the offer that i bought it myself #and here i am now #still giggling at mark rolston saying stunner

macgut

I’m going crazy I love him so much I have generational beef with the writers

slocumjoe

Experiences With Meat.tm is so fucking ominous but also incredibly hilarious, I'm losing my mind at the implications but a part of me also just,,,,, wants to let it be this mysteriously terrifying but oddly intriguing situation lmao

Just wanted to share haha, have a good day!! :DD

I won't ~spoil~ but I will say, whatever you're thinking? Probably tamer than the Actual Event(s)

Danse; what do you mean you don't like steak???

Gus, who has Eaten Things; ...medical disorder, can't eat it!

Danse; Oh, my apologies...what kind, if you don't mind me inquiring?

Gus, INT of 2; m-meat death disease

Danse, INT of 8, PER of 10; ... meat death disease.

Gus; meat death disease.

Danse; ...affirmative. [pulls out pen + the "things to ask Isadora about" list]

slocumjoe

the most contentious part of Danse and Gus' relationship is that Danse is a hardcore grill dad, big on the bbq and steaks and whatever, and. Gus is a vegetarian. due to uhhhh Experiences With Meat

slocumjoe

I had a mildly funny thought, since you mentioned that Augustijn has cannibalized a few people (unless I somehow misunderstood the whole thing), does he eat them raw? Because I have a joke but it doesn't make sense if he actually cooks the meat

Gus lore wooo

The thing with Augestijn's confirmed cannibalism is that, while in China, his squad got pinned down in snowy terrain during the winter, and had to wait out the storm for reinforcements/supplies or for the Chinese soldiers to die or leave so they could retreat.

None of these things happened. The team was dropping one by one each day, either by enemy injuries or due to exposure. Eventually, during an aggressive push on their chokehold from the enemy, Augustijn was left the only survivor. But the whole reason that his team was in this location was to secure it, because the Chinese getting it meant certain death for neighboring American camps.

So...he was certain he was fucked, but he needed to keep the enemy force back for as long as possible. It's worth noting that Gus is a sniper, meaning he did have an advantage that allowed him to pick off and push back anyone encroaching. Rations had run out. And it was cold enough that all the dead Americans around him hadn't spoiled.

So, yeah, this wasn't Gus having a silly picnic, he was in between a rock and a hard place and starving to death while trying to hold back an entire deployment of Chinese in the Middle of a glacial snow storm, while the Americans had already determined him and his team were dead.

The SECOND, predating, unconfirmed cannibalism was during his college days. He went to a house party, got black out drunk, and woke up to news that a girl he'd been seen with had been partially eaten by something. Cannibalism was suspected by some people, but it was more likely to have been stray dog, or a pack of them.

After the incident with his squad and returning to America, Gus suspected if he ate his classmate. He was willing to eat his squadmates, after all. Its a retroactive "wait, was that me?" During college, his use of day tripper had him hallucinating black dogs stalking him everywhere, often appearing whenever he felt guilt. The chem use damaged his brain, and he continues to suffer occasional hallucinations even after coming clean. The thing with the dog is that it appeared after his classmates death. He was the last one to see her alive, he felt guilty about her being eaten, especially since he woke up near where her body was found. The dog also appeared in China. So, Gus suspects its this, like...looming specter of cannibalism and fully thinks he ate his classmate, which is much less justifiable than what happened in China.

But yes, Gus wasn't keen on eating raw human, so he did cook his squadmates before consumption.

slocumjoe

I finished Bb today so I feel it imperative to inform u all that in my lil canon, Maxson doesn't send Gus after Danse, because anyone who has seen Danse and Gus in the same room for more than 5 seconds knows that Gus is disgustingly in love with him, and Maxson knew gotdam well Augustijn would never in a million years turn on Danse. Maxson just tells him to talk to Quinlan about it. Quinlan orders Augustijn to go kill him, being his closest friend and most knowledgeable on him personally.

And then Maxson asks where Augustijn went, Quinlan says "off to exterminate Danse, of course" and Maxson turns and bangs his head on the wall, because no, no he is not about to do that, he's going to save him and potentially murder the soldiers Maxson actually sent, so now Danse is a synth and Augustijn "Vocal about only being here because his sponsor was 'convincing beyond sensibilities'" Reinier is about to become a full on traitor and Maxson does not want that, seeing as the Minutemen have their artillery right across the bay

slocumjoe

in other news, is there any romance quite as frustrating and stupid as danse x sole, when you look at it from. Any other companions point of view.

Preston Garvey has his whole world chewed up and spat out at his feet. Everyone he knew and loved is dead. Maybe he had a best friend, a lover, a brother or sister in the Minutemen. Maybe they were a civilian in Quincy. It doesn't matter anymore. This guy who's given you this second chance, you go with him to try and redeem yourself.

You are Preston Garvey, the last original Minuteman. You are tired, down in your bones, but you follow this stranger in a strange land across what you call home. While you're both picking through the ruins of Lexington, finding the corpses of the last of your friends, their pipboy gets a signal. A call for help.

You go to Cambridge. You help a dude in power armor gun down some ferals. As you reload your musket, dust yourself off, you look up as the big guy starts talking to your pal. And you can hear the white noise behind their eyes. You blink as they agree without question or hesistancy to do anything this dude needs. They're pretty nice, they're a good person, but usually you're not worried about if they're using their brain or not. Now, you're kinda worried. So you follow your buddy and Paladin Danse (What kind of name...) to some space station or whatever, watch them cook the man alive after some button mashing gone wrong, and then he can barely offer them a place in the Brotherhood before they're verbally signing their life away.

You are Preston Garvey. Your General has joined another, foreign army because this one guy, who had the charisma of a bag of corn nuts, asked. You are Preston Garvey. You are tired. Your general is now wearing a rival army's uniform because it makes that one guy happy. You want a nap so fucking bad.

You are Nick Valentine. You are a synth. You just helped this dude find out their baby is in the Institute. You walk out some security doors and see this big, hulking shadow in the sky, smothering the land from the sun. It bellows out that it comes in peace, heralded by armed air support, spotlights glowering down. You smell war and you don't even have a nose. As you stand there, in the wind, covered in blood and oil from the synths you've helped kill, you watch as your...client? You watch the dweller turn on their pipboy, mark Cambridge on their map, and make their way to the road.

You follow, of course. You follow, stupid sentimental bot you are, to thr Brotherhood of Steel. The dweller is vibrating to get on the death blimp. The guy offering the ride, Danse, is both sizing you up like you're a hot meal and like he wonders if you're actually a synth, because how the fuck would the dweller think bringing you here was a good idea? You shrug at him. You don't know either. You get on the vertibird. You get on the blimp. The dweller bats their eyes at Danse as he stomps down a catwalk, and they snap back to their normal selves once they talk to Kells. They balk and turn green and scoff out in the hall as you both listen to Maxoson's speech. They wonder how dumb a man could be as you venture deeper into the bowels of the beastly aircraft. People sneer at you. You are in danger. You stay very close to the dweller. You both find Danse again. He asks what they think. They don't say what they were just saying. He believes in himself, he sounds like he cares, he seems to truly trust in this army and it's cause. Not "what a load of horseshit." Danse beams with pride and they drink it in like clean water.

You are Nick Valentine. You wish you could drink.

slocumjoe

You are Piper Wright. You're sitting at a campfire with your dinner, across from Blue and Tincan Dan. Blue likes their nickname. Tincan Dan doesn't. They're sitting together. They take turns going on and on about whatever topic they desire. Danse drones about power armor like he's reading from the manual. Blue talks about Pre-war stuff, moments in culture, the economy. Whoever isn't yapping sits their head in their hands and stares like the other one is a shooting star. Blue talks about history. You squint. You're pretty sure Danse is blushing. His eyes are wide, his eyebrows up into his scalp, his whole face just sparkling with a puppylike joy at the fact that Blue got to read about history for school. Danse doesn't talk much to anyone else. You put him and Blue together and they're two parts of one chatterbox. You look across the fire at Nick, meet his yellow eyes, and raise a brow over at the love birds. Nick shrugs but purses his tattered lips in exasperation.

You are Piper Wright. You carry candy on your personal at all times and you notice the little things, nothing slipping by you. You catch Tincan Dan propped up one night, as he takes watch. He's far from the rest of you, so far that if he got snatched by something it'd be a coin flip if anyone noticed in time, but the rest of you would be fine. You think he's rather dumb for this. But you see him digging into one of those little boxes of creme filled cakes. It's only a moment you catch it before you turn over and go back to sleep. The next time he's being pissy, whether it's because of Brotherhood stuff, or Hancock, or Blue being reckless and getting hurt, you shove a box in his face. He looks at it, so small in his hands, and at you, and blinks. He asks what he's supposed to do with it. You spend too many minutes trying to explain what a gift is, and that he's supposed to shove it in his face and shut up.

You tell Blue about it later, offhandedly. You notice a light bulb turn on in that big empty space their brain turns into, whenever the big guy is the topic of discussion. Later, you find Danse, almost shaking with a mix of excitement and confusion, as Blue has begun burying him with as many boxes of those cakes as they come across. He frets about his strict diet regime to maintain his physique, but also why Blue is doing this at all. You explain gifts again. He tilts and head and asks, "But why me?"

You explain that you do it because he gets grumpy and you understand, because you also need sugar to be a normal person. He asks about Blue. You turn to meet Nick's eyes again. He shakes his head slowly, sighing deeply. You turn back to Danse and shrug. "Not a clue," you say.

You are Piper Wright. You know a lot. You know a lot about People. You lie and pretend the weird crush Blue has isn't a thing, because you think Danse would legitimately vomit if you tried to explain romance to him. You think he wouldn't get it if you didn't use metaphors with Power Armor anyway.

slocumjoe

sometimes i criticize my peers for their taste in men but i humble myself when i remember that i would do anything for this man

slocumjoe

his nose is an enigma

slocumjoe

AITA for threatening to blow up my crush's home-blimp-thing, consequently betraying the army I joined specifically to hang out with my crush?

Throwaway.

I (F40) signed up under a foreign army that recently moved into the Commonwealth sometime within the last few months. My friends told me not to, but the man who offered to sponsor me (M37, I'll call D) was literally too hot to say no to. The colonel (M28, P) of my army was vocal that this was a stupid idea. I have my own army, this is important.

D—who is fiercely loyal to his army—was revealed to be of a marginalized people. Specifically, the people his army came to the Commonwealth to genocide. I was told by his army's general (M 20, bffr) to kill him. I pretended that I was definitely, definitely going to kill him.

I went to go find D, and when we left his hideout, Captain Assbird was waiting for us. Assbird demanded I kill D, or he'd do it. Here's where I might be the asshole. I radioed MY army, and ordered our artillery to aim at the coords of Assbird's home-blimp-thing. This blimp houses their soldiers, as well as their children.

This worked, but afterwards, D and P were both pissed at me. D was upset I would threaten his family and Captain Assbird, despite everything, and P was angry that I would risk our army in entering a war with a superior force. My other friends were of mixed opinions.

I refuse a YTA conclusion for saving D, but was I too far in threatening his entire family, even though they're now trying to kill him, and risking my own people? Or was this justified?

EDIT: no, D is not aware I've been flirting with him. I've tried.

#still the funniest thing I've ever written byw #i was funny once in my life

jinglyjangly

I dont want bethesda to ever get rid of how fo4 does cutscenes because there is just something special about talking to someone and having a vertibird kill you both in the middle of it