Project 2017

Finding myself one day at a time

[bookoisseur]

❤

[sloppysecondsbrokenhearts]

52 lists - list one

Goals and dreams for the year

1. Take a trip somewhere alone, just me. 2. Love and live unabashedly. 3. Read at least one book each month. 4. Put myself first. 5. Work out more often. 6. Don’t be afraid to say “no.” 7. Say “thank you for understanding” instead of “I’m sorry.” 8. Patronize local restaurants instead of chains. 9. Figure out what I want out of life and take steps to make it happen. 10. Aquire a drum set and start learning how to play. 11. Get better at saving money and put away some cash. 12. Ask more questions and stay curious. 13. Find a passion. 14. Enjoy preparing, cooking and eating meals. 15. Focus on experiences rather than things. 16. Continue to purge things that don’t bring me joy. 17. Take time to explore and try new things. 18. Be honest with myself and others about my thoughts/feelings. 19. Get a raise/promotion at work. 20. Be present wherever I am.

[sloppysecondsbrokenhearts]

Day one

This year, I have 365 chances to become a better version of myself. It started last night. I was chatting with someone I miss and couldn't be with in person. I was saying things that were negative, as were they. He stopped and reworded what he was saying in positive way, saying it was something he needed to do to help his outlook. That really stuck with me and I found myself doing it later. Instead of being sad I could see him for five more days, i said I was happy to get to talk to him every day. He's the last one I talk to before bed and the first when I wake up. He's been the catalyst for me wanting to change and he's the reason I even noticed my unhappiness. It's interesting when someone comes into your life and affects it in ways you weren't expecting, and frankly, weren't ready for or looking for. But he did. He's like a hurricane, and I'm in the eye of the storm, calm and peaceful, while I figure everything out. Then comes the madness once again.

[sloppysecondsbrokenhearts]

[herdahadda]

Show me someone who says they got no baggage // 

I’ll show you somebody who’s got no story //

[sloppysecondsbrokenhearts]

Change is coming

2016 was a hard year for me. I realized, almost too late, that I wasn’t paying attention to myself, to the person I had become and what I wanted to be. I evolved into a shell of myself. I blame becoming a parent, working with someone I dislike and not giving myself enough credit for it. Then, through some changes I’ll get into another time, someone helped open up my eyes. They’re incredibly important to me and I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to have them as part of my life, while I figure out all of my own shit. So, this year, in 2017, I want to make it count. I want to find myself (which I should’ve done long ago) and I want to figure out what makes me happy. It’s possible I’m going to throw my entire life into upheaval to do so, but I need to. I think of everyone else before I ever think of myself. And it needs to stop. This year is the year of ME. So this, my friends, is my anonymous journal of that discovery. Most of my friends/family have zero clue what’s going on, and I’m not ready to tell them anything. So names may be changed to protect the innocent. 💚