Sometimes my dad likes to put little pills in my food. And in those pills is more of the food.
Xuebing Du

#extradirty
todays bird
will byers stan first human second
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Janaina Medeiros
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

if i look back, i am lost

Andulka
hello vonnie
Misplaced Lens Cap
we're not kids anymore.
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NASA

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@slowghostlywhispers
Sometimes my dad likes to put little pills in my food. And in those pills is more of the food.
don't be mean to yourself that's you
you live there
Whoever’s been saying TADC’s final was bad during the leaks is a filthy liar, btw (/lh)
keep getting glimpses into an alternate timeline where plurality is more normalized and you can buy shitty tshirts and mugs about it
Like this?
There has to be a fic where Rocky doesn’t make it but he left Grace the instructions to get back so Grace has to go and try to save Rocky’s people before his body gives out since he doesn’t know if he’ll make it before synthesizing food, while trying to communicate without Rocky, I’m imagining he does make it and him and Adrian have to mourn together while waiting to see if it worked and if Rocky and Grace’s planets are saved
Last ditch effort!! I want YOU to vote DAD EGBERT this instant! He is a lovely single father who is a dilf and can fight! He is also THE FACE OF MPREG ON WIKIPEDIA! Vote for the loving father this years Tumblr Sexyman and get reincarnated as a LOTUS FLOWER! Do the rich choice, vote Dadbert!
Worth a shot
happens
Human Perry Poll ✨
Doofenshmirtz Poll ✨
A Sexy-man you say? Get the inside scoop on Phineas and Ferb’s double enty into Tumblr's biggest event of the year
Nemesis turned MORE. Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus (human) shock and amaze at this year’s Tumblr sexyman competition. Both were nominated, and now both compete. We sit down with these two fascinating men to learn more about this prestigious competition.
Q. WHAT IS THE TUMBLR SEXYMAN COMPETITION? Heinz: It’s been around for years now. Once a year, Tumblr users -these are a specific type of internet user- can nominate men, and if they get picked to compete, they get pitched together in a set of polls. Winners get pitted against each other until one remains. Last year, I made it to the finale, but I lost to Grunkle Stan from Gravity Falls.
Q. DO TUMBLR USERS EVEN KNOW WHAT THE WORD SEXY MEANS? Heinz: HEY! How RUDE! You- Perry: (interrupting) Whether a person is sexy or not is a matter of taste, not a matter of fact.
Q? …AND THE PEOPLE ON TUMBLR HAVE EXCELLENT TASTE? Perry: Yes. Heinz: I’m not so sure. I DIDN’T WIN, LAST YEAR!
Q. SO YOU ARE IN IT TO WIN IT? Heinz: I love a good competition! We’ve only just started, but so far I seem to be doing well. Nothing feels as good as crushing the competition into a fine mist before moving on to the next
Q. AND YOU, PERRY? Perry: I’m only in the first round and already struggling, but I don’t mind. Once I am out, I get to chill out in my hammock and watch him (Heinz) win. If I make it to the second round, that would be great, but I don’t expect anything.
Q. AREN’T YOU USUALLY A PLATYPUS? Perry: (whilst clamping his hand over Heinz’s mouth.) My canon platypus appearance usually gets nominated for the sexy-furry competition. I got second place last year. And yes- I know Kermit is competing in the sexyman competition, but he’s not furry. He is a frog and also a muppet. My human appearance has gained traction on Tumblr and Ao3 over the last few years. There is plenty of fanart and fanfiction where I am human. For the PnF fandom and the Perryshmirtz shippers, this competition is a fun way to let more people know it’s out there.
Q. AND YOU ALWAYS LOOK THE SAME?Perry: No. No, I do not.
Q. AND IF YOU WIN? Heinz: I will use my newfound sexy powers to TAKE OVER THE ENTIRE TRI-STATE-AREA! VOTE FOR ME! DOOFENSHMIRTZ FOR SEXY MAN 2025! (It’s 2026)DOOFENSHMIRTZ FOR 2026- Man, where does the time go? Really? Is it 2026 already?
So one of my neighbors has a lawn Roomba or whatever they're called, and this thing trundles around looking like a background robot in the background of the original trilogy, and ABSOLUTELY BAFFLING THE DOGS.
They have concluded, I think, that it's some kind of prey animal because right after this video ended they decided to crouch down and stalk it, which means I'm 90% sure I'm going to have to stop Arwen from eating it at some point.
Of course it's a prey animal it fucking eats GRASS
While I can’t fault your reasoning on robot taxonomy, apparently we’re both wrong: Arwen, as much as she is a high-prey-drive animal, is foremost, a herding dog, and has decided that the Lawn Roomba is a SHEEP.
What happened is the lawn roomba belongs to the guy that does most of the maintainence on the neighborhood park, and he had it out grazing on a different section of lawn when my parents came down for a walk and Arwen was siezed by 200 years worth fo Kelpie Instincts, rolled out of her Harness and proceded to herd the shit out of this tiny, oblivious robot.
Everything was on display- mock-stalking, intimidating eye contact, barking, running in front of it to try to get it to balk, the scariest barking she can muster (which is actually. pretty scary if you’re not used to Loud Dogs), looking back at my parents for directions. or rather, looking at my Mom while Dad tried unsuccessuflly to capture her.
After about ten minutes they realized she wasn’t biting it, and decided to let her play Sheep Simulator 5000 for a while. She eventually figured out that
It doesn’t respond to Yelling, Posturing or Aggressive Eye Contact
It does respond to having it’s wheels or bump hazards hit
It would respond to its side being nosed or slapped by moving in a different direction
Conent that this was apparently some kind of blind, deaf and particularly stupid sheep, she could now manage the robot by smacking it if it got too close to the creek bed or fence for her liking, and was eventually content to sit on the highest point of the field and Supervise (TM) it.
“Hey.” Said Roger, owner of the robot. “Do you think if I put the ramp down she’ll herd it into the back of my pickup?”
Arwen was mostly asleep in the afternoon sun as roger put the ramp down but woke right up when mom Whistled, then pointed at the truck. She immediately went after the robot and did something that wouldn’t have occured to me, an allegedly more intelligent being: the robot is roughly triangular, and when it hits an obstacle, will change direction so that one of its other sides (rather than points) is now the ‘front’. So to get it to move in a straight line in the direction she wanted, Arwen would smack the two sides of the robot that she didn’t want it to go in in quick sucession, and got it across the field, over a small hill and up the ramp as fast as it’s clumsy little wheels could go.
“I didn’t know you had a fully-trained sheepdog!” Said Roger
“Me either.” said Mom.
So Arwen now has a Semi-Weekly Appointment to play with Sheepbot.
Well this is just beguiling
It also just goes to show that all the dudes who have fretted about the Robot Apocalypse for generations needed to hang out outside with dogs more
Yeah okay Ill reblog that!
Not a scholar at first, but the guy who wrote Jaws hated that people used it to justify hating sharks so much he dedicated the rest of his life to shark research and advocacy.
The woman who popularized gender reveals wishes she hadn't, afaik.
(afaik- the woman who popularized gender reveals did so because she had a long history of miscarriages. The reveal was a celebration of the fact that one of her pregnancies had gotten far enough that there WAS a physical sex to reveal. It was never intended to be like... *gestures at modern gender reveals* all that. That same kid later came out as trans and yes, the family had a second gender reveal for that lol.)
This whole thread is so beautiful to me that I can explain it
The man who invented the K-Cup coffee pod almost 20 years ago says he regrets doing so and can't understand the popularity of the products t
L. David Mech, who popularised the idea that there were 'alpha' and 'beta' wolves in his 1970 book The Wolf, has spent the rest of his career trying to debunk this. (The original studies were done on captive wolves, and thus didn't simulate an accurate model of wolf pack dynamics.)
The idea that wolf packs are led by a merciless dictator, or alpha wolf, comes from old studies of captive wolves. In the wild, wolf packs a
In the wild, researchers have found that most wolf packs are simply families, led by a breeding pair, and bloody duels for supremacy are rare.
“What would be the value of calling a human father the alpha male?” says L. David Mech, a senior research scientist at the U.S. Geological Survey, who has studied wolf packs in the wild for decades. “He’s just the father of the family. And that’s exactly the way it is with wolves.”
please
Project Hail Mary - Phil Lord & Christopher Miller
The diversity of problems that different transgender people face kind of boggles the mind, tbh.
Gender and culture and expression of both of those things are so individual and the problems that come with them are also incredibly individual. And people like fight over what problems are worse.
At a certain point I feel like we’re arguing that our cage is worse than our neighbor’s cage because they get to have a potted plant in there or something. Friend, the potted plant has nothing to do with the cage that you’re stuck in.
hi tumblr staff very cool that you changed the like icon for pride month but can we stop banning trans people and Black people instead? thanks (*ಠ_ಠ)つ
Every Pride Month I’m once again struck by the ridiculousness of the “marriage is between a man and a woman, as (the Christian) God intended” and similar ‘marriage is a (somehow a solely) Christian institution’ rhetoric. Your God did not invent marriage. Your God was late to the scene on the whole marriage thing. It existed long before the Old Testament, even. Which is not to say that marriage as a Christian rite (which was a later historical construct) is not valid, I believe everyone has a right to practice their religious beliefs surrounding marriage but, again, most religions and societies have some concept of marriage and your idea of Christian marriage entered the game way later than some of these.
The concept of marriage in American society is a legal construct, not a religious one.
(Also, side note, Christian marriage being between “one man and one woman” is controversial even in Christian theological debate because polygyny is never definitively condemned in the text. They only decided on the one man and one woman thing in 673 and not everyone agreed.)
My brother just acted out a scene where Plankton from SpongeBob is flirting with Ursula from The Little Mermaid and I don’t know how to explain that I ship this now
This is the best news I’ve gotten all day
@sexy-people-contests-2026 Couldn’t help myself, had to doodle it
“I could easily crush you”
“Please”
Giant woman is heard playing in the background
This…this is how fantastic crackships start
Agreed, we should really be doing this more often
Yeah, we should.
Wait I should reblog the cow yuri I don’t know if everyone has seen it, that was a good one
Yes, you should.
Side note- this opens up the option for Ariel x Sandy Cheeks
Omg yes