Struggling & Snuggling @slutstruggle - Tumblr Blog

“We think of bulimia and anorexia as either a bizarre psychosis, or as a quirky little habit, a phase, or as a thing that women just do. We forget that it is a violent act, that it bespeaks a profound level of anger toward and fear of the self.”

— Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia (via ladycube)

slutstruggle

interrupting the usual pornographic programming with this message for all you submissive sufferers, because let’s be real so many of us have fucked relationships with nourishment, and god damn this rings true right about now for me

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Angelina was wild back in 2000

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Sex is obviously not the same for everyone

but for masochists, sex is more than a connection and more than a release. It’s permission.

Permission to be in pain, permission to cry, permission to be pliable. Permission to be ugly and stupid and weak.

Mm.

Mmhm.

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Lea Seydoux photographed by Paolo Roversi

slutstruggle

Crushin

I have this narcissistic fantasy

in which a handful of men pay to come to a laidback party at my place. They get to be in my space, spending time where I have some of my most personal moments. Seeing me where I’m most me. I make food and there’s drinks and we hang out. Maybe pass around a j and listen to music. Get into loose conversations about deep or dark things. Casually, playfully, the air becomes flirtier. The guys are being more touchy towards me and losing abandon. I’m put down in ways that make me feel powerless and made fun of jokingly. Maybe someone calls me out for being a slut. Maybe someone gropes me and everyone laughs. Maybe I do too. Maybe I’m challenged to drink someone under the table. I do as I’m told. Maybe I start to feel scared when I’m horny but defenseless. Everyone knows what’s going on, including me. Sure the game is the fun, but my fear becomes more real despite having planned this myself. Someone takes charge and lets me know that I can’t get away with being such a tease. I’m offended. We argue and I get aggressive because I’m fucked up. Someone holds me down to avoid a serious confrontation. Another someone comments on how I look when I struggle. Another someone tells the someone holding me down to reach between my legs for wetness. My fight is on, but I can’t win with my body betraying me and a group of men hard for a slut. They take turns molesting me, tie me down, engage me and then degrade me by doing things like spitting in my face. They take turns in my holes, including my ass, which I beg to be left alone. Some are desperate to cum others are desperate to see me depraved and others want to make me into less than human. When the ones there to cum get their fill they leave. I’m left a mess on the floor with just a couple of guys at the end of the night. They’re the cruelest and the kindest. They beat me while they use me. I cry and cry until I can’t feel anything anymore. I’ve passed out and woken up and the last of them is putting his pants back on. He says he’ll wait while I shower. He does, and dries me when I’m out. Kisses my face. Reassures me that everybody had a good time and that I’m not a terrible person for wanting this. He strokes my hair and I suck his cock in gratitude. He leaves after I swallow and I go to sleep with the taste of a sadistic stranger’s cum in my mouth.

#writing

betterthandarkchocolate

To the people that say "you should respect your family":

Stop assuming that everyone has been treated well by that family.

Respect is not freely given, it is earned. You don’t owe anyone respect. You do not owe anyone anything.

This line is used repeatedly in abusive situations. It is frequently used in emotional abuse in the form of gaslighting to make the survivor doubt their perceptions of events. It also is frequently used to control, manipulate and coerce behaviour.

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^^^

stoner-vogue

true tea

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How old are you?

Do objects have an age? Is time and duration a concept..

brasilianho

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Summer mood over here

slutstruggle

Bad festival advice but also not untrue. Marina understands.

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Bendy

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Favorite.

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what women want

“Accidentally” bump into me at school. Befriend me. Learn my PTSD triggers. Act very concerned when I confide in you about my rape and my childhood. Make me fall in love with you but too afraid to say anything. Pretend I don’t exist until I am desperate for your approval again. Text me you’re coming over. Grab me by the throat and throw me on the floor. Grind your dirty boot into my face and my filthy cunt. Force me to call you his name as you rape me exactly like he raped me. Fuck my ass. Make me cry. Tell me you never cared about me and this is all I will ever be good for: rape meat. Tell me to hold my eyes open for you to cum in them, knowing I will still do it, desperate for your attention and approval. Cum on my ugly pig face and use your warm piss to wash it down onto my tits. Make me pretend to love it. Make me moan like a pornstar as I sob and bathe in your piss. Kick me to the ground, zip up, and leave until you come back to use me again tomorrow.

fuckedup-sadist

You should be honest to yourself and admit this is one of your biggest fantasies. Whether you got raped in the past or not, this is exactly what you crave and you’re a bit ashamed of it.

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I would love it if someone does this to me

tom-stall

Even the most vanilla woman I’ve ever fucked became a whimpering bundle of orgasms when I took control of her.

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This is what you are.

animeshaven

Dominique Swain as Dolores Haze (Lolita) & Jeremy Irons as Humbert Humbert in Adrian Lyne’s 1997 adaption of Lolita, written by Vladimir Nabokov.

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Talk down to me. Use your most condescending tone and smile softly while you tell me how dumb, incompetent and little I am. So little I can’t do anything by myself. Ask me to repeat your words after you so I remember them well. Make me feel dependent on you, like a baby. Be mean, but don’t stop smiling. You need me to be vulnerable for this. Tell me I am nothing without you and mock me, sweetly and quietly, for being such a silly baby. Say things you know will make me cry just so you can enjoy my tears. Belittle me. Take your time. Slowly force me to be little, and then violate me when I’m most innocent. Touch me under my skirt while I cry and pretend you’re not doing it. Watch me get confused and embarrassed, avoiding your gaze, as you slide your fingers inside me. Tell me to be a good girl and stay quiet, because silly little girls don’t have anything to say anyway. Take my tiny hand and make me touch you, tell me my tears make you hard and you can’t help yourself. It’s my fault, it’s always my fault.

slutstruggle

This work-up kills me

phalaenopfish

Please don’t take your pets for granted. Even if you’re frustrated that your dog has been barking all day or your bird has been screaming for attention, remember you are all they have in this world. Give your fish that extra water change. Give your dog or cat that tummy rub they’ve been begging for. Chop up some fresh fruit as a treat for your rodents or reptiles. Just spend some time with them. Be compassionate to your animals. They are living creatures that are alive simply because you wish them to be. They may only be a small part in your life, but to them, you are their everything.

slutstruggle

Crying

light up on the corner

where it’s seedy

almost midnight

it isn’t until

red nails against

bare legs catch my eye

whore comes to mind

begging mascara running

buy me wine and pedialyte

#writing