Slytherin: I went out yesterday… I need a rest period before I do again
Hufflepuff: How are you gonna survive in this world?
Slytherin: Spite
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@slytherpuff-conversations
Slytherin: I went out yesterday… I need a rest period before I do again
Hufflepuff: How are you gonna survive in this world?
Slytherin: Spite
Hufflepuff: Just for that you’re not getting your garlic bread
Slytherin: *laughing*
Hufflepuff: Nah actually… I’m gonna decrust all your pizza!
Slytherin: Wow! Now that’s a threat! Shit…
Slytherin: What do you wanna do today?
Hufflepuff: TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!
Slytherin: Note to self: never ask you that question again
*Watching film*
Hufflepuff: I’m sat here watching being like ‘this scene is quite emotional’ and out of the corner of my eye I can just see you playing with playdoh
Slytherin: Leave my playdoh alone… it gives me something to fidget with
Hufflepuff: Have you slept yet?
Slytherin: What answer would you prefer?
Hufflepuff: The honest one
Slytherin: …no
*DEAN (Supernatural) - This has something to do with your freaky fetish for serial killers.*
Hufflepuff: *Stares at Slytherin*
Slytherin: I don’t have a fetish for serial killers!
Hufflepuff: *Silent staring*
Slytherin: I just admire their work
Hufflepuff: *judging*
Slytherin: I’m kidding
Hufflepuff: *pause* So who’s your favourite serial killer babe?
Slytherin: Jack the Ripper
Hufflepuff: A normal person wouldn’t have an answer to that!
Slytherin: Who wants to be normal?
Hufflepuff: I give you full permission to throw this at my head *hands Slytherin their vape tank*
Slytherin: NO! I will happily hit you with a pillow but not something that’s made of glass! That would hurt you!
Hufflepuff: Aww it’s nice that you don’t want to hurt me
Slytherin: Besides I can’t afford the prison time
Hufflepuff: WOW!
Hufflepuff: Me and my mate at work were talking about what our girlfriends were saved as in our phones and he has his gf saved as ‘snugglepoo’
Slytherin: *gags*
Hufflepuff: So it’s not just me, thank god!
Slytherin: I prefer gremlin
Hufflepuff: She called him asking about where something was he was like “Hi snugglebug”
Slytherin: I would rather you stab me with the bluntest sword you can find than ever call me snuggle-anything!
Hufflepuff: Noted
Hufflepuff: If I sent my cat to space with a male cat…
Slytherin: Pretty sure that’s animal abuse
Hufflepuff: If they did the do in space and had a baby but the baby was born in space. Would the baby count as an alien?
Slytherin: I want to say no since the baby’s parents are both from Earth
Hufflepuff: What if my cat fucks an alien?
Slytherin: This conversation took a turn!
Hufflepuff: *pinches Slytherin’s nose*
Slytherin: *in nasally voice* Why?
Hufflepuff: Cause it’s making you sound funny
Slytherin: And I’m the child?!
Hufflepuff: You are!
Slytherin: I sound like Squidward. “Spongebob!”
Hufflepuff: *takes hand away* Babe if you were squidward, you’d be handsome squidward
Slytherin: Thank you…?
Slytherin: I may have made some more wallpapers…
Hufflepuff: Really…?
Slytherin: I love my little marauder babies
Hufflepuff: *sigh* I love you
Slytherin: why do I feel like that’s an “‘you’re an idiot’ i love you”?
Hufflepuff: Because you are an idiot
Slytherin: Ok
Hufflepuff: But you’re my idiot and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Slytherin: Yay!
Hufflepuff: *reading article on phone* Gamer orders PS5 from Amazon, gets bag of rice instead
Slytherin: *silence* what?
Hufflepuff: A gamer, he ordered a PS5 from Amazon but got a bag of rice instead
Slytherin: Ohhh, Gamer orders… I thought you’d said Gay Marauders
Hufflepuff: What am I going out with? Only you would think I would’ve said Gay Marauders
Slytherin: *playing HP&OOTP game* Move! I’m Harry Potter, I don’t have time to wait around! I’m the chosen one! Get out my way!
Hufflepuff: That is the most Slytherin you’ve ever sounded
Slytherin: You saying I don’t sound like a Slytherin all the time?
Hufflepuff: Sorry but no
*character on tv - “Haven't you ever been in a relationship where you really love somebody and still kinda wanted to bash their head in?”*
Slytherin: All the time
Hufflepuff: Yeah but you can’t. I have more strength
Slytherin: I’d wait till you’re asleep…can’t fight back then
Hufflepuff: I’m gonna tell my nan that if my body’s ever found somewhere, all bloody, that you did it
Slytherin: Aww that’s cute. You think you’d be found
Hufflepuff: What time is is?
Slytherin: 20 past 3 (in the morning)
Hufflepuff: I think you should go to sleep
Slytherin: But I’m not tired
Hufflepuff: It’s past your bedtime
Slytherin: You’re not the boss of me! *Sticks tongue out*
Slytherin: Just to let you know I will be downing shots of coffee when you come over today cause I’m fucking shattered!
Hufflepuff: I’ve been awake since 6am
Slytherin: I’ve been awake since yesterday afternoon…trying to reset my sleep schedule
Hufflepuff: Ok then
Slytherin: It’s not fun! I just want to sleep!
Slytherin: I’m so cold!
Hufflepuff: I’m gonna buy you an electric blanket for our anniversary! A single one cause fuck that… I’d boil
Slytherin: But you can’t have a single blanket on a double bed! That won’t work…cause if you move you’d have to move the blanket too. Whereas with a double you can just roll over.
Hufflepuff: I suppose…
Slytherin: Besides, I’ll just roll myself up in a heated blanket burrito. Therefore you won’t get too hot. Only downside is I won’t have movement in my arms or legs and I’d just be a disembodied head
Hufflepuff: Babe, I’d still love you if you were a disembodied head
Slytherin: Aww thanks… unless you mean that in a serial killer way then no thanks…
Hufflepuff: Both?
Slytherin: No