to autumn.

skipping stones,

krslytherin:

lips wound tight around his length, hollowing her cheeks, attempting to mask out the noises spilling from her mouth. he was so good with his tongue and with his lips, she nearly choked. “baby –” she moaned, followed by a sharp gasp, her back arching from pleasure. “fuck!” she fully takes him in, her pace increasing as her toes curl. she nearly choked again as he hits her spot, feeling herself giving in, trying her best to stay put.

it was hard to keep quiet, she gags as her lips part for a moment, his length hitting the back of her throat when she feels his tongue against her clit. a hand gripping onto his thigh, nails digging in as tears cloud her vision, but she continued, not allowing it to stop her, sucking that much harder. her hips squirming, becoming impatient, greedy for more, grinding against his mouth, desperately chasing to reach her climax.

if he didn’t pull away, he would’ve gladly lost his breath. no amount of magic could compare to this, to the electricity in his veins, to that under his skin. he had to separate his mouth from her centre, groaning at the way his tip hit the back of her throat, the sensation of her mouth around his own hardness. it was harder to breathe, on his part; his own pleasure felt it was rising until it almost choked him –

and the only reprieve was to taste her further, while his own hips moved against her mouth. he pulled her closer, tried to keep her as still as possible, tongue moving against her heat with all the desire to reach his own satisfaction.

skipping stones,

krslytherin:

her hand still stroking his length as she made her way back to him. “baby–” she breathed, turned on by his words. the obvious heat between her thighs becoming more and more uncomfortable. she kissed him before turning her back to him, separating herself to take her ( more like his ) shirt off, shortly followed by discarding her now soaked underwear. “is this better?”

she bends over, ass raised, her heat right above his face, knees carefully placed on either side of his head, spreading them open for him. she holds his member within her hands, licking over the smooth surface. her lips pressing against the tip, tongue lapping over it as she slowly takes more and more of him into her mouth, prepping herself for when she fully takes him. muffled moans as she bobs her head, sucking harder and faster.

he could never get tired of this: seeing her undress for him; smiling in response, and saying nothing else ( of course it’s better, you silly thing ) until she did what he asked, and gave him exactly what he wanted. there was no shyness with the perversion of the act. yixing’s hands alighted on the back of her thighs, on her ass, pulling her heat closer to his mouth as he began to kiss her there, tongue flat, at first, and tasting her eagerly as she, too, did the same for him.

his grip tightened on her ass, then, as her pace increased, and so did his own. the sharp smack of his palm against her backside sounded amazing in the backdrop of wet, hungry mouths and muffled groans. his tongue teased at her clit, circling around it, before sucking it just as hard, and making sure to bring his hand down on her flesh again.

skipping stones,

krslytherin:

soft moans slipping one after another as she feels his length hardening, continuing to grind. her underwear wet from desire, nails digging into his back attempting to ease the heaviness building in her chest. she squealed from the unexpected slap. all the more excited and aroused from it. he was so good with his words and with his hands. it was hard not to stare as he said all the right things, touching her in all the right places.

she took a moment to catch her breath, knowing if she continued at the rate they were going she would tip over the edge. she kissed his throat, licking and kissing all along his body, moving to create enough room for her to bend down to kiss right above the band of his boxers. “since you are my darling, dearest husband – you are also my king, and you deserve to feel like one.” she discarded the only piece of clothing he was wearing, licking her lips at the sight of his member. placing herself in between his legs, she kneeled down, cheeks painted with a light shade of red as she begins stroking with both hands. “tell me what you want.” licking the tip, ready to meet every single one of his demands.

with every movement, he could feel the growing tension against the cloth of his underwear, and her own arousal against his own. even minimal clothing seemed too much, as it often did nowadays, and her hunger for this, as always, matched his own, if not more. his breath caught instead in his throat, rather than gathering at his lungs, as her mouth travelled further along his skin, as if she meant for him not to breathe at all. he watched with hardly-concealed anticipation as she tugged off his only restraint, fingers running lightly along her scalp so that he could see her more clearly.

“come here,” he urged, tongue running lightly along his bottom lip, “come,” he repeated, managing a grin, managing a smile, or whatever kind of expression it was that made him seem hungrier for shared sin. “let me taste you, as you taste me.” a perverted thought, to be sure, but not one that was utterly foreign, and instead one he anticipated. in this, he refused to be the only one receiving pleasure, for just as much as he was hers, so too was she his, and his queen alone. and, for a moment, he laughed, breathless, “and take your clothes off, darling. it’s quite unfair, don’t you think?”

au. gemini

krslytherin:

“what if he sees you too! i can’t risk that, i won’t–” but the selfishness of wanting to see him overcame the need to protect herself, to protect them. she picked herself off the ground, rushing out of the stall, in attempt to avoid another unwanted encounter. she should have never gone to him, she should have never left. they were in an even messier situation than before. risking not only their lives, but the rest of their cluster.

she wasn’t cut out for this. not nearly as strong-willed as jinah or as savvy as jennie who wouldn’t get herself into a situation like this in the first place. not as authoritative and dominant as yixing. definitely not as patient and resilient as seulgi or confident like joohyuk. and last but not least, she definitely did not think of herself as smart and reasonable as jongin. the only thing she could do was work in a lab, the only thing she was good for, mixing chemicals – other than that, she lacks other skills.

of course she’d be the one to put her cluster in danger.

“yixing?” she called out, unsure if it’s him she spots through the crowd of people. “yixing–” she breathed once confirming it is in fact him. running toward him, eyes frantic, yet her heart filled with ease despite the panic still rising in her lungs. “i’m so sorry – i-i’m so sorry.” arms finding their way around his tall figure, her head burying in his chest.

he was about to say something else, but instead she cut herself off, and he heard the sound of opening doors and moving feet instead. “krystal?” did she get dragged off? he looked over the heads of strangers, searching for her in rising panic, phone clutched tightly in his hand and pressed urgently against his ear. “krystal!”

and, as if sensing each other’s distress, he saw her, perhaps at the same time that she spotted him. he let out an equal sigh of relief, holding his phone so tightly that he was afraid it’d break in his grip, and held her in his arms, meaning to shield her from everything else, meaning to shield her from the world. while it did not seem as if they were in immediate danger, however, he did not want to risk anything.

“krystal, shh – it’ll be alright, i promise.” he pulled away reluctantly, and held onto her hand, while his palm rested at her face, admiring her, even just for a moment, “i’m just glad you’ve arrived safely, but we need to go. i’ll take you somewhere safe.” he kissed her forehead, lingering only for a second, before offering his hand to her, “give me your bags. come. we’ll figure it out when we’re not...here.”

skipping stones,

krslytherin:

his hands lowering to her ass turned her on further as her hips moved faster against his. “and how do you exactly intend to make it the best honeymoon possible?” a hand cupping his jaw, kissing him messily. biting against his lip before her own traveled to his cheek, jaw then to his neck – sucking on a spot as she moans against his skin.

“i intend on making it the best day possible.” her tongue licking his lip playfully as her fingers slip past the waistband of his boxers before placing her hands against his chest, grinding even harder as her lips parts, breaths shortening.

he grinned at that, breaths coming shorter, grip tightening on her ass while his own hips moved against her own as best he could. it was getting harder, metaphorically, to form words, and physically as well, though that was always a given whenever krystal moved against him so.

“by making every single day – the best day possible,” he answered back, before catching her tongue lightly between his teeth, and sucking on it as she continued, smacking her ass playfully as her hands wandered further. “every day of your life, mrs. song,” he told her, cheeks flushed as his hands wandered up her shirt ( his, really, but he’d gone past the point of commenting on it ), squeezing at her breasts, “my darling, dearest wife.”

au. gemini

krslytherin:

there was never going to be a right time to be together. in a few short weeks she’d be a bride to someone she will never love and he’d continue showing up unwarranted. she smiled knowing he wanted to be with her too. the fear of being with him was no longer present, she was ready to devote herself to him, to adjust her lifestyle and to be okay with what he does for the sake of them being together.

“no, it’s not selfish.” she shook her head, kissing him again. “if anything, i’m the selfish one. this is all so wrong, b-but it feels so right? – i’m sorry, i’m probably not making any sense.” she laughed lightly, biting back her tears, in disbelief they were finally going to be together. “i arrive around three hours from now? go back to your meeting, i’ll text you when i arrive.” one last kiss before she leaned back into her chair, smiling as he’s no longer in view.

she dozed off, waking up as the plane landed. quickly turning her phone on, rushing to text him that she’s arrive. she weaved through the crowd, making it out of the terminal, then to customs and then finally to him. “oh my–” someone had accidentally nudged her, her bag fell to the ground and they both knelt down to pick it up. “sorry about–” and as she made eye contact her whole body froze.

“y-you–” she stuttered, before she could say anything else he smirked, walking off. she rushed to the nearest bathroom, closing the stall door, quickly calling yixing. “i-i saw him – he saw me. he’s here, he knows where the fuck i am! fuck! i fucked up!”

he shook his head then, unable to say anything, devoid of words due to shock and an inexplicable sense of elation. it made perfect sense to him. even if they weren’t in a cluster, even if they weren’t sensates, it still would’ve made perfect sense to him, if he’d just been given time to know her, and meet her, as otherworldly as that experience might have been, in other circumstances. he held no doubts that seeing her now, here, and being able to hold her in a few hours, would change his life entirely.

one last kiss, and she was gone again, and still, closer than ever. he pocketed his phone, and headed back inside, trying to finish things up as best he could, before taking his own car to the airport to pick her up. a little bit of traffic was worth it. heck, anything was worth it.

and she was close -- so close-- until his attention was diverted by a few people in the crowd blocking his way, and she was gone from sight. she wasn’t heading towards him anymore, and the moment he reached for his phone to ask here where she’d gone, she called him instead –

“wait – wait, calm down –,” he frowned deeply then, and looked up, displeased that there were so many people, but nevertheless trying his best to use them to his advantage. getting past security was easy enough – a little scare tactic never hurt anybody – but this was harder. “tell me where you are. right now. i’ll come and get you. we’ll sort this out.”

skipping stones,

krslytherin:

maybe they weren’t destined for failure after all. everything almost seemed worth it if the endgame was to be at the point they are currently in now. their fears and expectations no longer consuming them. she would devote her life to being his and only his. no more hogwarts, no more family issues, no more dark arts – just them, together.

“it wouldn’t be the first time i followed you into a shower and there’s a thing called room service.” she pointed to the phone on the nightstand. “the only exception would be bathroom breaks.” as his finger continued drawing back and forth along her spine, her heart began beating progressively faster and faster. the light airy feeling in her stomach returning, her cheeks flushed more than before. “unless if you don’t want to be this close to me–”

she kissed him much more deeply this time, her body pressed up against his, slowly moving her hips. “don’t you want me to make you feel good, baby?” she smiled, biting against her lip as she continued grinding.

again, she was right. he was just teasing, anyway – there was no way he’d want to be away from her for more than a few minutes, not when they had the freedom to just be, without anyone hunting for them, without their demons nipping at their heels. instead his heart was in her hands, in his throat, thudding in his ears when she kissed him further, and knew just how to move her hips over his own.

“always,” he answered, to the unasked unless and the don’t you want me? which was really all he heard, hands wandering down to her ass and squeezing because he could, and out of habit, encouraging her to grind harder against him as he kissed her all the more, speaking breathlessly in hurried pauses, “i’m planning to...ah...make the best of this honeymoon as i possibly can.” and not thinking of anything at all but krystal, all set right in the world again.

au. gemini

krslytherin:

she was aware of the life he led, the life he couldn’t seem to walk away from. one of them had to make the sacrifice. a life without him seemed worse with each passing day she wasn’t with him physically. although their minds are connected, she craved something deeper and she knew he did too. the sacrifice wasn’t easy and it came with a price – and she’s willing to pay for it for the rest of eternity just to be with him.

“mhm.” she nodded, her heart beating inordinately fast, her hands trembling as her fingers fidget against each other. “i know –” she cleared throat, speaking clearly this time. “i know, but i’d rather be there with you for it than be apart. the risk i’m taking – well, it’s really the only risk i’ve ever taken in my life, but i-i feel so lost being there, being in a place where you only exist in my mind. it… it sucks, it’s horrible and i want you to be there all the time, not just during the moments when i’m thinking about you.”

there was so much racing through her mind. surely her parents would eventually know where she is, but they would never know why. she matched his gaze, putting on a brave face, reminding herself this was for them and that in due time, it will all be worth it. “i want to be able to touch you –” her finger tracing along his jawline. “to kiss you.” she smiled this time, the nerves easing as her stare lingers.

that was the difference between them, wasn’t it? – she was going to be out of her comfort zone because of him, while he found comfort in her. perhaps they were chosen for this reason, though that wasn’t to say that he didn’t find unexpected comfort in the other people in their cluster, too. every word she said caused him to slip further and further from his own worries, focusing his concerns, momentarily, on her alone.

and she was right. he didn’t say a thing as she spoke, and let her say her piece, until she gathered enough courage to look at him. even then, he found himself robbed of words; here, where he was, he still kept an ear out for anyone trying to sneak up behind him, and perhaps put a gun to the back of his head; there, with her, he felt his heart beat not with fear but excitement, with nothing but love.

“i want the same thing,” he managed to utter, his own hand alighting over hers, fingers curling around her own and bringing them to his lips to kiss them. “i want you so badly. it must be so selfish of me, isn’t it? i’m so impatient–,” he smiled, and kissed her properly, briefly, “tell me when you’ll arrive. i’ll finish up this meeting as quickly as i can.”

#krslytherin #au:sense8

skipping stones,

krslytherin:

“i – love – you.” she grinned, kissing him between each word. she wished this feeling to last forever – and it just might. “thank you for being patient with me and for staying by my side. i truly don’t deserve you.” and she meant it. after everything she had put him through, he never left. even after all the doubting, lack of communication and mistrust, they were still together and she believed they were now stronger for it.

“technically we’ve been married since we were five… when i made you propose to me so i had a valid excuse to wear my princess dress during dinner time.” she laughed, kissing him again unable to resist from doing so. the make believe weddings during their childhood were no longer little innocent fantasies, but now a reality. they were actually married, maybe not the fairytale way they played it out and imagined it to be in krystal’s living room, but she decides this is better. “forever and always.”

her hands now placed on either side of his face, grinning as she plants a light kiss on the tip of his nose. “i hope you know i don’t plan on detaching myself from you at all today. we’re going to stay like this all day.”

he couldn’t disagree when she was kissing him, and when she was so close. here, away from everything else, in the heat, in this hotel room, with the two of them far away from the pain that marked them so. she deserved him – she deserved the world – they both did, after what they’ve survived. he laughed against her mouth as she kissed him again. “you made me propose to you quite a few times,” he pointed out, laughing again. “for years, might i add. we’ve been married for a while.”

he kissed her then, and smiled even further, and repeated her words back to her. “forever and always.”

as she spoke, and kissed his nose, he smiled even further. it felt like forever since he felt this light and this free. it felt like getting back on their feet again, moving forward, and still, light as air, his hands found their way under the shirt she wore, fingers tracing along her spine. “what if i need to take a shower? are you coming with me there, too?” he grinned, definitely not serious about it, and kissed her again, for much longer. “or...what if one of us gets hungry?”

au. gemini

krslytherin:

her life was over. she could never go back. never face the man she was supposed to call her husband and never be able to face the ones who were supposed to love and support her the most, her family. she was certain a new life would begin. and that new life included him, only him.

tired of doing of what’s expected of her, tired of playing a role. all she wished for was contentment, a sense of excitement – laughing because something’s funny, not because you have to be polite to impress potential donors and investors. smiling and going home to someone you love, not someone you were arranged to be wedded to. all things wandered back to him and each time her thoughts lingered for too long she found herself beside him whether it be a good time or not. something beyond both of their control.

maybe consulting with him would’ve been a better idea, but she was scared if she talked about it with anyone she would regret her decision and not make such an impulsive and selfish decision to change not only her life, but the lives of everyone else around her.

“i’m going to you.” she took a deep breath, her expression evidently worried at the thought of him not wanting her with him anymore.

he knew she was strong, but he had his doubts on her being able to leave everything behind. she had so much going for her: a life where she didn’t have to worry about having a gun pointed at her head while she slept, or having to know that her money was dirty with blood when it entered her pocket, or staying up and wondering how much her life would be worth to other people.

and he had given up on her ever coming to see him. they both knew that seeing each other meant that there was no going back. and still, here she was, having more courage than he had ever given her credit for, or that he could ever have, and he could’ve kissed her then.

“to me,” he repeated, quietly, slightly in shock, but unable to help the smile at the edges of his lips. “really? are you sure? you know my life right now isn’t the most...desirable. i mean – i’m out here, making deals with people you’d call the devil, if you knew what they do for a living – what i will be doing, too.”

this, he thought, was unavoidable. he was always meant to inherit this business, one way or another, just like her husband-to-be had a birthright to his own. “are you sure?”

skipping stones,

krslytherin:

her eyes widened, taken off guard by the sudden contact – her arms naturally wound around his neck, fighting down a smile as she reciprocates the kiss. it had been months, yet she still felt that same nerve-wracking feeling from his words, his affection and his touch. how could she ever think to regret marrying him now? even if it were under drunken circumstances, it happened, and she believed some things happen for a reason. her eyes shifted away from his gaze, unable to look at him properly and for the first time in a long time she smiled because she felt happy. it wasn’t one of those small moments of bliss – it was actual happiness, something she declared impossible a long time ago.

“i don’t know! maybe you haven’t been around enough hot brazilian girls to realize you’re actually into them!” she grinned at the mention of staying married, but frowned, throwing a pillow at him. “don’t you want to talk about it too? why are you being so nonchalant about this! don’t tell me i’m the only one freaking out that we got married. i mean, it’s great, but like – we’re shit at communication so tell me what you’re thinking.” she crawled over, straddling him instead. “does that mean i’m krystal – song?”

he finally got her to smile like she was happy. again. yixing could always tell which smiles of her were real, so how could he think of last night as a mistake? he smiled the same, thought that his heart would burst from it, and he would’ve cried if he allowed himself to feel any more. instead, he laughed at her outburst, and calmed a little more when she threw a pillow at him. “i said we can talk about it,” he said again, knowing that she was right. they always relied too much on knowledge from the past to account for the changes in the present. she was right – of course she was right – and no matter how much he trusted her, it was still difficult to do something he always avoided.

“i’m freaking out, too,” he mumbled, placing his hands at her waist when she straddled him, thumbs idly rubbing circles at her middle. the more he thought about it, the more his face flushed, definitely not because of the heat. “i think...it wasn’t a mistake. i love you. we’ve never been people for labels, so i don’t know – but now you are my wife,” he told her, smiling, overwhelmed by the urge to kiss her; still, he didn’t. “mrs. song. we’ve always been in this for the long run, right?”

au. gemini

he’s not thinking of her – not particularly, even though most of the time it’s unavoidable, like knowing that he’s himself – because it isn’t exactly the best time to be thinking about other people when older, much powerful figures are in front of him. the apartment stinks of cigarette smoke and, on the small round table, yixing can see the tell-tale specks of white that certainly can’t be salt or sugar. no, this apartment isn’t for living in. the blood stains on the couch is proof enough of that.

“so what do i get,” he begins, “if i agree to be the boss? just more people coming after me?” he asks it directly; it’s better this way, and besides, he has no patience for two-faced niceties. “give me a guarantee that i’ll be safe–,” and suddenly he’s on a plane, but he isn’t; suddenly, without warning, without him really wanting to, he’s suddenly beside krystal, even though he’s well-aware that his ass is on the same couch that many other mob bosses have sat on, and it’s hard to pay attention to the reassurances of others when she’s beside him –

“excuse me,” he says, briefly, “i need to take a call.”

and just like that he’s darting out into the hallway, pretending to take his phone out, and instead speaking to the woman beside him on the plane he’s not really on – “where are you going, krys?”

#krslytherin #au:sense8

skipping stones,

krslytherin:

her teeth were nervously digging into her lip, fingers fidgeting under her lap. maybe she shouldn’t have said anything, but she knew communication had always been a struggle in their relationship and it would be much better to talk about it now rather than later. she looked to his cigarette, craving one so badly, but she needed to quit. right now would’ve been a perfect time to light one up to temporarily relieve her of the nervous feeling developing in the pit of her stomach from this very conversation.

“does it count though? we were really drunk and we’ve never really talked about it a-and i don’t want you being married to me if that’s not what you want because that’s a lot of commitment. and if you want to stay married, that’s fine too! – but we’re so young and what if you meet some hot brazilian lady and start fancying her and then we have to go through this whole weird divorce process–” she forced herself to stop talking, noticing she was doing the whole rambling, overthinking, second guessing thing whenever she’s anxious. “i’m sorry, i’ll just – i’ll… yeah.”

they needed to talk about it. even more so, he knew better than to mince his words – the past year taught him better than anyone ever could. yet words said last night only ever happened in dreams, and this, now, seemed less like a nightmare than the past few months could be. his gaze lingered on her as she spoke and, caught enchanted by magic greater than anything else, he kissed her the moment she stopped, the taste of cigarette smoke still in his mouth.

“i love you.” and saying it out loud, fearlessly, and without guilt, was the only thing that felt worth doing after all the hell they’ve both been through. this time, he did not turn his gaze away. he did not smile because he had to, and his heart did not race from the fear that their sins would catch up to them the moment he closed his eyes to it. “i’m not going to leave you for some hot brazilian lady. are you daft?” he smiled, then, and kissed her again, “if you want to stay married, then i want to stay married. i would actually want to stay married, too, but we can talk about it more now if you’d like.” he leaned back, and tried to play it cool, even though the thought of it caused his throat to close up. he busied himself, just for a second, by putting his cigarette out, and extending his arm to the pillow to give her space to lie down. “oh, darling,” he teased, “it’s only been a day, and you already don’t want to come to bed with me? i’m hurt.”

skipping stones,

never once did she imagine herself to be married at eighteen in brazil. the marriage only really happened because this particular resort offered newlyweds discounts for their rooms if you stayed longer than a week and it didn’t help that they were both extremely wasted. at least they weren’t a vegas cliche? she wasn’t really sure how to take it other than it being a joke, but their relationship wasn’t a joke, they’ve been through too much for it to be one.

krystal had just gotten out of the shower, changed into a clean set of clothes. she sat on the bed beside yixing, looking back and forth between him and the window. “are we actually married – like was that all pretend, fun stuff for the night or are we legitimately husband and wife.”

being away from the frigid cold of britain must have thawed him out, too. he never imagined himself proposing just because, and getting married on the same night. was this considered their honeymoon? -- if so, he should probably stop smoking in bed. it didn’t make for a good habit, and certainly not when he was married --

oh, christ, he’s married.

the sudden gravity of it hits his lungs like a freight truck ( it’s not the smoke he chokes on ), and he starts coughing while he taps the cigarette on the ash tray. it’s in this opportune moment that krystal asks him that question, and he looks up, trying to clear his throat. “i -- uh... i guess? we’re...husband...and wife... i mean... i remember signing a document or something. that counts, right?”

au. right here

#au:right here #r #para #krslytherin

krslytherin:

when she lost all hope, she never gave up on the dream of seeing him again. in the beginning, she believed he would wait for her, but as time dragged on she became less confident. the anticipation of being reunited dwindling away. every night before she went to sleep, she laid there thinking of all the scenarios of what would be their first encounter when she returned. she definitely pictured it being a lot less heartbreaking on his end –

walking into the halls, seeing him looking better than ever, a new girl by his side, all smiles. smiles he once only gave to her, passed onto another. holding this new girl’s hand, telling her she’s the prettiest person ever. giving her a piece of fruit he had just grown. kissing her, telling her how beautiful and wonderful and remarkable she is. all things she wanted to hear for herself, but she lost that privilege when she left him.

“i-i–” she turned around, facing him again, sobbing into her hands shortly after. “i don’t want to leave you! i never wanted to! everything i did was for you and still is for you, but i don’t expect you to believe anything i say anymore, i even when i tell you that i still love you–” he wouldn’t believe her because at the end of the day she did leave and she would never be able to take it back. “i don’t know what to think anymore!”

she wiped her tears away, quickly wiping again as more continued to fall. and then he pushed her. she stayed still. she wanted him to punch her, kick her to the ground. she deserved it. she deserved every bit of emotional and physical hurt because it would never compare to the hurt she inflicted upon him.

instead of stepping away, instead of begging for his forgiveness she hugs him. arms wound tight around his neck, pulling him close. “i’m sorry–” her voice breaking as her breath shudders, crying helplessly. “i’m sorry you met me.”

she was a liar, just like everyone else. they tried to help him while she was gone -- said that it would be okay, and that his fruit would be less rotten, and that there would come a day where he would learn to accept every terrible thing that had happened -- and none of it was true, either. everything lingered and poisoned him, and every day spent without her felt like withering the fall. no matter how much every tear told him to back down, to calm down ( if not for his sake then hers ), that he was being selfish, he couldn’t help it.

“you’re not sorry for leaving!” he retorted, frowning, but not pushing her away. he couldn’t. he couldn’t, even though he wanted to, even though it would probably be for the best. it was the past of least resistance, and thus, the easiest, but neither of them have ever had it easy, and he doubted that they could start now. “you’re not sorry for that...” his voice broke again, trembled, and instead of tearing her off of him, he held onto her again,

“that wasn’t okay,” he mumbled, trying to keep new sobs at bay. every heaving inhale shuddered, and was muffled, face buried at the crook of her neck. “that can never be -- you can’t justify that.”

and now she was sorry that she met him, and yixing almost apologised for that, too. it was his fault, after all. no matter how much it gave it would never be enough. no matter how good he tried to be, he would still be his family’s killer. he would still have the blood of others in his hands, and that was the only time any good thing happened to him -- it was the reason why he met her. he needed to be the villain, it seemed, to gain anything, and lose no one. he drew in another breath, “don’t leave again,” sounded like a broken record, scratched; a plea, forever on repeat. “don’t. it hurts when you leave, krys.”

au:fame