read all about the wee dyke @smallrituals - Tumblr Blog

rich in life because i ended up with all the mary-kate and ashley vhs tapes from my childhood. middle-class in life because my parents have the full collection of coveted 1997 mcdonald’s hercules plates but if i inquire about them i’d have to split the bounty with my two sisters which would mean fighting tooth-and-nail over the best ones (megara and the muses. and the reverse-print zeus. obviously)

#poor in life because my sister took the tiny (perfectly sized) crt tv that we had growing up and i have YET to find another #that doesn’t cost hundreds of dollars at least

federer7

Satchin and his brother Mabo. 1963

Photo: Nobuyoshi Araki

dsunearthed

Sunflower mosaic, Tokyo Metro, 2006

justryingtovibe69

unsubconscious

Brent Cotton Before the Thunder Speaks, 2026 Oil on canvas, 91 x 121cm

miamaimania

Portable TV–radio–cassette unit by JVC

pommegf

sights on the southwest coastal path, Cornwall.

right. i mean yeah Okay

smallrituals

my Problem is that being a retail manager (in florida, no less) during the onset of the covid pandemic altered my brain chemistry and fucked with my faith in humanity in a way that so far has proven irreparable

smallrituals

i specify manager because i was the only person in the store willing to tell customers that their choices were mask up or leave—and enforce it no matter how irate or aggressive they got. the other managers didn't care and corporate policy was vague enough that everyone else was afraid they'd be fired if they stood up for themselves.

(fortunately, the general manager and i already had the kind of relationship where i'd throw him a "this is what we're doing and if you don't like it, you can fire me" a few times a year and mean it, and he trusted me enough and was afraid enough of losing me that he'd fold every time.)

so i carried the stress of that alone, every single shift, and then i'd go back and put it all on my shoulders again the next day because who else was going to?

i still remember the first person to look me in the eyes and go, "i shouldn't have to put on a mask if there aren't even any people in here." but i don't remember how she responded when i said, "my coworkers and i count as people actually," because i think i genuinely saw red as i forced the words out. had the same exchange more than a handful of times after that. always kinda felt like a shot to the gut, though. sometimes people would get so worked up that i wondered what the chances were of them actually coming back with a gun

#took me a year to quit bc i had so many associates individually tell me that they only felt safe when i was working and i #felt so fiercely protective of them all #knew i had to get out of there when i started wanting to fight people fr #it took a man trying to smash one of those thick plastic dividers into my face for me to finally prioritize myself and leave though. lol.

my Problem is that being a retail manager (in florida, no less) during the onset of the covid pandemic altered my brain chemistry and fucked with my faith in humanity in a way that so far has proven irreparable

#if you ask my therapist she’ll say i have a lot of funny stories from that year! and by that i mean she diagnosed me with ptsd #also had the pleasure of developing pretty severe contamination ocd thx to All of That which is soooo fun