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[hijefff]

[smashleyagain-blog]

I know exactly why I fell in love with you. Because you thought of me. In a world where I have felt so cold and alone, you thought of me. Not just once, or a couple of times. But thousands of times. All of the time. You thought of me. It didn’t matter anymore if i felt I deserved it or not. Eventually, I just let it happen. I had to, I had no choice in the matter. And because of this, you have changed me forever. I will no longer have the ability to open up my heart to another living soul the way that I did with you. And that’s okay. Every love is different. But because of you, I will no longer accept anyone into my life that doesn’t make me feel like I am seen and heard.

You saw me. And that changed me.

[smashleyagain-blog]

A story for a morning glory

There are going to be two sides to me in 2019. You might think it’s cliche to talk about relevant and positive change in your life as does making the good ol’ “New Years Resolution.” However cliche, I believe in the power of self-improvement.

So i am going to split it up this year. One side, you’re going to get all of me. I will nourish our relationship and give you the attention you deserve as a human in my life. I will be loyal and carry myself with grace. I’ve come to realize that I was a bit of a selfish asshole this past year and I didn’t really allow anyone to see the real me because of this... I didn’t love deep enough, i didn’t express myself well... and i sure as hell didn’t show any courage by running away from majority of my problems.

This is not how i was raised.

So it’s back to basics for me. I just want to be someone i can be proud of for once. Not what everyone else thinks or wants out of me, not what you expect  me to be. But just me.

The other side, you’re not going to get even an ounce of my good vibes and energy. I don’t have any “good” to waste anymore. I’m grown, You’ve showed me, I’ve learned, I am humbled. No matter what generation we’re in, actions will always speak louder than words.