🚨 ATTENTION COLLECTIVE ENTHUSIASTS 🚨
We come to you today with an offering. An offering of....information.
It appears we have drawn the attention of many. We created this collective for secure recording purposes. We were unaware that our experiences on the U.S.S. Enterprise would intrigue so many.
We found that many of you seemed quite enthralled with our origin story. As a thank you for your continued support of The Collective™️ we would like to share some insight into our first year on the Enterprise.
We spent much time studying the crew before attempting to integrate with them. Their odd behaviors, the way they dressed, the weird cubes they chose to consume. Their lack of arts and crafts. Most alarming of all, the blooming romance between their captain and first officer that no one seemed privy to but us.
We could not let this go to the way side.
Although we wished to see the two act on their feelings, we found ourselves having grown quite fond of the two men ourselves. Infatuated. Protective. Feral, even.
From the vents we made a personal commitment to each of them. We would protect them with our lives. Destroy planets and wipe out enemies with the blink of an eye (literally. You'll see).
K, partial to Spock, undertook the role of science officer. J, fond of Jim, took on a command role. At least, that's what we were pretty sure the colors meant. None of them really seemed to know what they were doing. They needed us.
Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. Unbeknownst to the crew we had seamlessly infiltrated. We spent much time with them in the rec room, partaking in way too many games of chess. Who uses a four tier chess board? Illogical.
Too much critical thinking, not enough arts and crafts. We would deal with that later.
We concluded our baseline investigation. We had collected enough information and it was time to infiltrate the bridge; the primary location for our new mission.
We had gone undetected for months, surely our presence on the bridge would not cause much disruption.
Boy, were we wrong! Upon materializing on the bridge we were immediately distracted by the beautiful creatures that are Jim and Spock. Our defenses down. We hardly registered their primitive phasers being held inches from our faces.
And that's when we met....him.
Bones told us if we uploaded a glittery photo of him he'd ban us from sick bay. Unfortunately he's our craft supply dealer so this is all you get.
They were all quite alarmed by our presence. Despite our efforts to explain our intentions, they did not seem pleased. Spock found our unexplainable existence fascinating. Jim, on the other hand, made every attempt to rid of us.
We can't tell you how many times this guy tried to leave us on lifeless, unlivable planets. I mean, how many times do we have to re-materialize on the bridge for him to get the point? Whatever, he couldn't get rid of us and eventually succumbed to his fate. Moving forward, J would be at his hip all hours of the day. Spock couldn't shake K any easier clinging to him like a koala.
Eventually they would learn how useful we could be to them.
Our relationship with Bones developed quickly. No one could figure out who we were, where we came from, and what we wanted from them.
We thought it was pretty obvious considering we regularly explained it to them. We had a PowerPoint and everything, but whatever.
We made a deal with Bones. We'd allow him to run his silly tests on us, including weekly 3 PM blood draws on Wednesdays. In turn, he would provide us with arts and crafts supplies. This turned into a bargaining tactic.
Good behavior? Elmer's glue for our booming slime business.
Bad behavior? No pens for a week.
Bones held immeasurable power over us. Our respect and loyalty to him baffled many. Spock and Jim were particularly thrown by this and began to develop an interest in us. Our plan was finally beginning to take shape.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ✨💫✨
Hopefully this sheds some light on any questions you found yourself asking from what we previously shared with you.
We know our existence and purpose remains elusive. That's how we want it.
We have much planned for The Collective™️ this week. Stay tuned for more records directly from the vents!
