erm ☝️🪩

enjoyer of Mr "thinking woman's crumpet" Baynton | owner of a developed pre-frontal cortex

[smokedfeesh]

the world's most jealous regency poet‼️(don't test him, he will cry)

[rudjedet]

Controversial Truths About Ancient Egypt Masterpost

The pyramids were built by contemporary workers who received wages and were fed and taken care of during construction

The Dendera “lightbulb” is a representation of the creation myth and has nothing to do with electricity

We didn’t find “““copper wiring””” in the great pyramid either

Hatshepsut wasn’t transgender

The gods didn’t actually have animal heads

Hieroglyphs aren’t mysteriously magical; they’re just a language (seriously we have shopping lists and work rosters and even ancient erotica)

The ancient Egyptian ethnicity wasn’t homogeneous

Noses (and ears, and arms) broke off statues and reliefs for a variety of reasons, none of which are “there is a widespread archaeological conspiracy to hide the Egyptian ethnicity”

[thatlittleegyptologist]

The carvings at Abydos aren’t modern machines but recarvings over old carvings. Sure they look like them but if you can read hieroglyphs and know that Ramesses II will even usurp the carvings of his own father just to be a little shit

[rudjedet]

‘No soot on the ceilings and walls of the Dendera temple!’ is actually because of extensive restoration works and not because Egyptians were in on shit like Baghdad “batteries”

While the Egyptians were fine-ass astronomers they didn’t align any of their enormous and/or important buildings to modern star constellations, because constellations look very different now than they did ~5000 years ago 

The pyramid is the simplest, sturdiest shape with which to build and many different cultures discovered this in their own time. There were never any weird fish humans/aliens involved

[rudjedet]

The sphinx of Gizah is only an approximate 5000 years old; the 10,000 year/rain erosion nonsense is proven hokum

Speaking of that particular sphinx, the Napoleonic expedition is not responsible for its missing nose

Akhenaten was not a “heretic” by contemporary standards

Ramses II appropriated a lot of his predecessors’ buildings/reliefs and isn’t really deserving of the epithet “the Great”

The Battle of Kadesh ended in a stalemate (twice)

[rudjedet]

While they had feline deities throughout their history, Egyptians didn’t actually worship cats themselves. This was a later Greek/Ptolemaeic addition

It was not, in fact, practice to shave off eyebrows after cats died; Herodotus lied about that

Herodotus lied about a lot of things and many misconceptions about ancient Egypt can be traced back to his Greek ass

[rudjedet]

I can’t believe I forgot my favourite Hill to Die On

Seth was not the god of “evil”, and despite his chaos providing a foil to order, he wasn’t completely villified until very late in Egyptian history, when he became associated with despised foreign enemies

[rudjedet]

Hats off to the few of you who’re reblogging this with tags saying you’re going to check my claims later. You make me not entirely despair of this hellhole.

Here are some vetted Egyptological books/sources (that are by and large appropriate for a lay-audience) you can find most, if not all of the above:

Lehner, M., The Complete Pyramids

Wilkinson, R. H., The Complete Temples of Ancient Egypt

Hornung, E., The One and the Many: Conceptions of God in Ancient Egypt

Dunand, F. & Zivie-Coche, C., Gods and Men in Egypt

Kemp, B., Ancient Egypt: Anatomy of a Civilization

Bard, K., An Introduction to the Archaeology of Ancient Egypt

Stevenson Smith, W., The Art and Architecture of Ancient Egypt

Kitchen, K. A., The Life and Times of Ramesses II, King of Egypt

Sweeney, D., Sex and Gender (in Ancient Egypt)

McDowell, A. G., Village Life in Ancient Egypt:  Laundry Lists and Love Songs

Te Velde, H., Seth, God of Confusion 

[rudjedet]

Guys do me a solid and reblog this version instead of continuously asking for sources on the other versions thanks

[chronic-backpain]

Excuse me please post ancient erotica link

[rudjedet]

hey it’s not my fault people keep reblogging the version without it!

[heavensenthousepet]

you learn something new everyday. unless you're a historian. then you learn something old

[dailymatbaynton]

[dailymatbaynton]

[billdecker]

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM | BEHIND THE SCENES WITH MATHEW BAYNTON

[baynton]

Chris and Tim in Spy | 1x06: Codename Portis

[billdecker]

“I’m not a bad man, you just… You make me do bad things.”

[smokedfeesh]

Thanks to @littlealexhorne I now have the visual for poor little bill stuck on a plane for 8 hours

We didn't have time to get his binds off but don't worry he's gonna watch me play animal crossing on my switch lite 🤝

[iodine-coated-cleaver-deactivat]

so uh tagging game

The last fictional character in your photo library, is the person you gonna sit next to in a 8 hour flight!

OHHH EMU?? Not bad

tags(sorry weh): @teto-teto505, @veilofpoe, @loftedlow, @arsonistic-carp-0-2, @pompomme4, @never-end1ng-m1sery, @mxnihil + OPEN TAGS

[littlealexhorne]

hopping on bc this is silly :] i adore these men but that would be an INSUFFERABLE flight omg ..

tagging: @thornethomas @smokedfeesh @televisionbf @littlestalexhorne @fangsup-cobrastyle and whoever else wants to !!

[smokedfeesh]

It's the way in which I haven't saved any photos of fictional characters since @littlealexhorne sent me their bill screenshots, work is crazy omfg.

8 HOUR FLIGHT WITH BILL DONT MIND IF I DO 😝

Tagging: @jxckl @thornethomas @tatikawaissad @rock-n-roll-fantasy @owlsomee

[thornethomas]

guys i'm obsessed with ymata ... ariel conroy i am so very fond of you and your evilness

[littlealexhorne]

crazy how all of my life’s problems can be solved by looking at a png of mathew baynton

[littlealexhorne]

You, Me and the Apocalypse | s1e9 "love you too, mum"

[littlealexhorne]

darling, darling jamie

[thornethomas]

beard thomas impregnate me

[baynton]

Chris Pitt-Goddard in Spy | 1x03: Codename: Grades

[littlealexhorne]

this is my sighing place ‿❀°