Smol'Child

In which I post the weirdness that is my life And maybe reblog cats or something

[smol--child]

Being the friend not on a glp-1 is crazy bc what do you mean we drank some lemonade and now we’re not getting dinner

[smol--child]

Deadpool got Johnny killed bc he was competition for Spider-Man’s attention

[smol--child]

Imagine…Your entire family just got dusted by Thanos. Now two criminals are taking advantage of the chaos the world is in to break into some houses while the police are overrun with missing person cases. You’re home alone, but it’s your house, and you have to defend it. You are Kevin Mccallister.

[smol--child]

If we don’t get this in No Way Home I’m suing

[smol--child]

Cruella 2021 is a good movie you guys are just mean

[smol--child]

Shower curtains are the most ominous things in the world they are the spawning point of demons and home invaders

[smol--child]

If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands

*dead silence*

[smol--child]

Error 404am: Sleep not found

[stephsu]

inspired by this post 

[honeygutz]

I SAW THIS ON TWITTER AND I CANT STOP LAUGHING HAFXHX

I can see the title “I disguised myself as a Minecraft speed runner and nobody knew”

[smol--child]

Has this been done yet?

[smol--child]

What she says: I’m fine

What she means: Selena Gomez guest starred on Suite Life of Zack and Cody as Cody’s Girlfriend in the school play episode and she also guest starred on Hannah Montana as Mikayla, Hannah’s rival and she played Alex Russo on Wizards of Waverly Place and the shows did a crossover episode meaning that they all share an extended universe meaning that within that universe there are at least three people who look and sound exactly like Selena Gomez

[smol--child]

It’s really gonna suck when Disney rolls out the live action Bambi

[smol--child]

Captain America waking up 70 years later to find out S.H.I.E.L.D. is full of Hydra agents:

[smol--child]

So we’re there and we’re like can we go to school please? And they say no. It’s delayed two weeks. And we’re like okaaay.

And we’re like can we see our friends please? And they’re like yeah. Over zoom, but only 40 minutes at a time. And we’re like okaaay.

So then we’re like hey can we have good grades? And they say no. Here take this e-learning system that doesn’t work. Go, fetch! And we’re like okaaay.

And then we go to take AP exams and we’re like can we get good enough scores for college credit? And they’re like no. You’re only doing the essay section under the most stressful circumstances ever. And we’re like okaaay.

And they’re like you’re not gonna have a future are ya? And we’re like nOo, and they’re like SAY IT. And we say we’re not gonna have a future.

And then we’re like, can we please go back to school next year? And they’re like no. In fact, the country is still in a pandemic, and you’re gonna be in quarantine for thirty years!

And we’re like why are you doing this to us, and they’re like because we’re 2020, and life is a fucking nightmare.

[smol--child]

All I’m saying is that Hamilton said the name of the Scottish Play and by the next song his life had started its decent into hell…

[smol--child]