Saxe

A void of milion unsaid things and a struggle to express them

[smolsaxe]

There it is again.

The realisation that I'm nothing but the second choice, second priority. I'm probably even lower then that, like an extra or a stand in that can easily be replaced. It makes me wanna throw up, knowing I'm worth nothing, even to the people I've sacrificed so much for I'm still just an extra that they won't even consider unless they lonely.

[smolsaxe]

Goal - stay alive till 27.

5 years to go.

[smolsaxe]

You told me it takes 19 days to make a habit.

I wonder; will it also take 19 days to break it again

But my heart and mind is weak so it will probably take longer.

Day 5

[smolsaxe]

I feel like a puzzle someone never finished.

Like they were trying to build me but then gave up when they reached that one part with a ocean.

A deep ocean with only one colour to get lost in and instead of completing the puzzle.

They just gave up cuz it wasn't worth their time.

[smolsaxe]

Isn't it funny way people cracks and shatters.

Some looks like they accidently dropped some porcelain- a beautiful accident.

While other people look like a tower falling over by a explosion - a beautiful chaos unfolding.

[smolsaxe]

To whoever this might reach or concern. I'm still alive - and I'm proud of myself, I'm proud of anyone and everyone who have made it this far.