Badu.

riding my wave

[easymoneyyb]

[smoothjazs]

My catholic faith is beautiful. This Lenten season has been nothing but blessed. I’m all about what helps me grow spiritually and I was so excited for this purchase and forever grateful for @blessedisshe__ for providing me the support I’ve needed as a growing Catholic woman. I was able to journal more this Lent and I had the desire to continue after Easter! Embrace the silence. Bask in His spirit. Get out of your comfort zone and enjoy the beauty of riding solo and being alone. I would NEVER advise something I HAVEN’T done. It is beautiful. It gave me strength. #blessedisshe #proverbs31woman #jesusitrustinyou #theyoungcatholic #wheniamweakheisstrong #thecatholicwoman #thecatholicfeminist #faithisgreaterthanfear #lent2019 https://www.instagram.com/p/BwBlON6FdW40rgsG9idYVLMeSgjzRKumTBlPig0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=jt4crcu8vgzb

[smoothjazs]

I think about how often I utter “Jesus, I trust in you,” but my actions sometimes do not show that I trust in Him. And then I thought, what if I ADMITTED that I didn’t trust Him and ask for help to learn HOW to live my life in a way of complete trust. Jesus tells us that the seed which fell on the path or on the rocky ground or among the thorns bore no fruit. Maybe sometimes we are like the path: we hear the Lord’s word but it changes nothing in our lives because we let ourselves be numbed by all the superficial voices competing for our attention. God, may I learn to be more trusting in Your Spirit during the last two weeks of Lent...and always. #blessedisshe #proverbs31woman #theyoungcatholic #thecatholicwoman #wheniamweakheisstrong #jesusitrustinyou https://www.instagram.com/p/Bv8dcgQFHQ49DShuotl7Yiw_labHC_JdbQKqzc0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=i6qqc0g1058d

[smoothjazs]

February has been a heap of emotions. I honestly wasn’t prepared for the lessons that needed to be learned this past month. When I say that I was in a place of discomfort I really mean it.

I don’t wish for the trials of February to touch the month of March. But I pray that days may be a little more brighter on the days ahead.

What I can say is that in the midst of my fasting from social media, I had more time to get things done. It went a little deeper than anticipated but I honestly wouldn’t trade my fasting journey for anything less. 

I am very happy with my work environment. I am able to have a fruitful and genuine conversation about God and about Faith in a way I haven’t been in my adult life (seriously lol!). I couldn’t be more blessed!

Until next update!

[smoothjazs]

Intentional Friendships: Finding Mutual & Meaningful Ones.

Connection becomes our own responsibility. It is not dependent on the person but rather dependent on our own ability to first own ourselves in who we are. Second, to give someone permission to do the same.

So some of you are probably wondering why there’s been weeks in between the topics I have covered so far. I honestly believe that it’s important that we take our time to ponder on these topics because, maybe, the message will resonate to you a little more differently than the first time. Like I have mentioned before: Slow Growth is Good Growth. So I highly encourage you, if you haven’t done so yet, to set an intention and be open to what the Spirit reveals to you in between each episode and to trust the process. Activate what you’re learning as I am too.

Okay, so let’s talk about intentional friendships shall we?

To start I wanna say: Friendship has always felt a little hard for me. It’s the kind of love I’ve always wanted...more than I felt I had maybe. It’s been such a sensitive topic since my elementary school years. I’d have what I thought was a best friend only to be forgotten about when the rest of the girls were around or show up. And at a young age I ever felt liked enough or included.

It’s funny: nowadays it’s a different story altogether. When a friend actually invites me to something I literally go out of my way to thank them for inviting me and for including me and they always look at me funny and say, “well of course, Jaz...of course.” Lol! The thing is they really don’t know how much I longed for things and moments like that.

So after a rough go as a pre-teen I actually opted to go to a different school. And when that didn’t work my parents put me on Independent Studies/Home-school...and that was probably the best decision because High School gave me a glimpse into what friendships looked like and the kind of friendships I needed to look out for. And even then, I experienced drama, friends getting upset at things I might have said or done but not telling me until weeks or months later. Pretending that everything was fine but resenting me behind closed doors.

I might have had better friendships but were they healthy ones? Not always. Then I started getting more involved with Ministry life then the friendships I found there seemed to come without the drama: they felt more mature maybe because practically everyone was starting from scratch. Meaning many of us came together from different walks of life but we were still on the same journey of leaving the old self behind and be the kind of friend we wished to have in terms of Spirituality and Faith. But somewhere in between that spiritual journey or spiritual high while trying to navigate adulthood, finding that meaningful and mutual friendships got hard again.

Outside of ministry or a work environment: Where do we meet new friends as an adult, right? You have to be really intentional and discerning about it. Good friends don’t just land on  your lap, you have to seek them out. * I’ll be sharing some of these tips on this in a little bit*

But if you’re craving deeper friendships

First focus on being a better friend, yourself. The kind of friend that you want. Mirror what you want to feel. Do the deep inner work that’s necessary. Address your weakness head-on. There’s a saying, “you can’t expect others to love you if you don’t love yourself.”

What truly makes 2 people compatible as friends?

I want to explore this one a little bit and share a few different perspectives with you.

I don’t believe connectivity is about 2 people being the same. On the contrary, I believe it’s a result of 2 people simply allowing each other the full expression of themselves. Without judgement on the either part. So connection becomes our own responsibility. It is not dependent on the other person rather dependent on our own ability to first own ourselves in who we are. And second, to give someone else permission to do the same.

With all real things there is this level of vulnerability that’s required. Hopefully this gives you some help if you have been struggling to find a friend of similar interests, similar values, and similar personalities. A friend simply needs to have interest, to have value, and to have a personality that you are open and are willing to support them; different or similar.

So stop chasing sameness. Comfort-ability can live outside of it. If there is a common thread I think it’s just mutual respect. It’s being okay with saying, “Hey...it’s cool. She thinks differently than I do.” or “I love that she doesn’t do things my way.”

And I think that if we took this perspective and approached a friendship in this way, we’d be able to navigate them better when they inevitably change. Friendships change because we as people change. So, again, if we tie our love for that person to those things we’re really just setting ourselves up for a break-up later down the road.

Speaking of break-up’s: we don’t talk enough about heart-break that isn’t romantic. Friend break-up’s can often carry more shame, pain, whiplash, and loneliness than romantic break-ups, am I right? They can carry more emotional stress because the span of a friendship is often years or decades. But to share a perspective with you: break-ups can be a good thing. I’ve really come to learn that regardless of how healthy a friendship is, not all of them are meant to last forever.

This was really difficult for me to accept at first. Despite knowing that I wasn’t fulfilled by some of my friendships, I didn’t want to admit that because they were all that I had at some point in time. I had spent so much time finding them and healing from my childhood and adult experience with friendship. But letting some of them go is something that I’m embracing and I want to encourage you to do the same as well. Because friendships do in fact go stale.

Have you ever hear of that phrase, “people come into you life for a reason, a season or a lifetime”? I came across this quote recently and I really love the notion that everyone who enters your life has some kind of purpose. In a way it allows you to let go of some of the resentment you might have been holding towards someone from your past. So let’s break it down for a second...

Friends That Come Into Your Life For a Reason

tend to stay for a long or short period of time. Depending on what they have to teach us. So whether it’s something about ourselves, the world, or around us, our lives collide because we have something to learn from them and vise versa.

Friends That Come For a Season

is a chapter: high school, college, 20′s, motherhood. For me, I think of the places I’ve visited. Not all the characters in these chapters will reprise their roles in the next book. But some will.

Friends That Last a Lifetime

are the friends that, despite the challenges, we find each other getting through the other side of the chapter in every season we encounter.

And I think it’s important to recognize which friends fall into which category because it then allows us to show up accordingly and in the right way in those friendships. There’s bound to be some friends of yours who will just linger in the background. You could also call these friendships ambivalent friendships: the one where one’s name pops up on your phone or in a conversation and you’re reluctant to respond or talk about. Maybe you see these friends out of convenience or a people-pleasing tendency that you have. Regardless, these are the friendships that drain you and prevent you from going deep with the friends who matter most. The ones who have proven their lifetime quality.

When we de-clutter we also have to allow ourselves time to mourn the loss. Because despite new friends on the horizon, the loss of old ones is hard to find peace with. But we must find comfort and realize that in one season they existed in your life.

So on to the good stuff...

i really want to dig into how to find Mutual & Meaningful Friendships. Those deep friendships that fuel your soul, your cup, no matter the length of time they are in your life. I’m not a surface level type of person. I want to know what lights you up, I want to understand what makes you YOU.

What I started doing was:

1. Make a list of 6 women I would prioritize for 6 months. They are included on my to-do list. As in every week, I will make notes to text them, call them, to make plans, etc. If you want to do the same: identify the qualities you value most in friendships. Make sure that the women you choose are representative to those qualities/character. Because what you focus on will grow.

2. After 3 months, I’ll reflect on those friendships. I will see which ones have grown in depth. At some point, you will come to realize who will play a vital role in your life long-term or a season. This time, I will be able to loosen my grip with ease knowing that they simply aren’t lifetime friends or I’ve just caught them at the wrong season.

3. While prioritizing on these friendships, I will also be working on myself. Meaning, I will try to be the kind of friend I want. A level of care and attention must be shown mutually. I will be focusing on what I am giving more than what I am getting. So pick on the qualities people love and see you. Look for ways to elevate them and refine them. It’s never something to check off but rather it’s something to continually improve on about yourself.

4. Make space for these friendships in my life. Listen, if you are praying for more present and deep friendships, you must be ready and willing to make space for them in your schedule and in your life. Make space to support the person in tough and triumphant times in their life, invest in their healing, give them space to work on their vision and their goals. Pause to check in with them or ask how you can best support them in that season and celebrate their progress. Make space to hang out in person, even.

The point? Make space. But you must also choose to go deeper, not wider, and take a “less is more” perspective or an intentional approach in fostering meaningful friendships.

Remember: Friendships will end and flow. People are constantly walking in and out of our lives. But, I hope that today’s conversation will help you filter out the false friendships and foster deeper connections with the ones in your life that matter most. I would love to hear your thoughts, advice, your tips on intentional friendship. Let me know if you’re going to give the 6 friends/6 month approach a try. And if you do, I encourage you to share this episode with that group of 6 so that the intention is mutual.

Peace, love, and blessings

Jaz!

[olearypoetry]

[smoothjazs]

God has been working on me, refining me, emptying me while restoring me all at the same time, and given me the humility, Grace, and wisdom to put a piece together. What started off as a small bible series for my sisterhood this time last year, has been put on hold only for it bloom and flourish into what has been a long awaited project.

The journey it took for me to have this project done has been nothing short of amazing. Having a much needed break from the world and its noise, 2 weeks worth of restless and sleepless nights, has been a beautiful bliss. God is still at work and I can’t help but feel privileged that God has called me to spread the good news of His purpose for all the Proverbs 31 Women of Grace in the world.

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

via @extramadness

[coerces]

[melisica]

[oldfarmhousefallfeatures]

[forestwonders-deactivated202602]

Rachel Barkman

[grace--upon--grace]

@samphen.

[acadeamic]

02.02.19. muji’s discontinuing my fav pens so obviously i have to buy them in bulk…… also AP macro is really fun this semester !

[reckonable]

[smoothjazs]

Slow growth is Good growth

Today consisted of a personal pep talk. A pep talk to keep pressing on and showing up. Even when it feels like your efforts are going unnoticed or leads us out of our comfort zone for that matter. Today, I’m declaring that slow growth can actually be good growth. Despite our discomfort.

In a message delivered on May 20, 2013 Pope Francis said: “When it comes to living out the gospel message, the best way is by going out of our comfort zone.” He went on to say, “This is dangerous. We lock ourselves in our parish, with our friendships, in our movement, with those who think just like we do. But you know what happens? When the Church is closed off, it gets sick.”

Pope Francis also said: “today’s world needs many witnesses. Not so much teachers, as witnesses. It’s not just about talk. It’s about talking through our actions. Living a coherent life. It’s precisely about a coherent life.” When it comes to living out this message, the Pope said the best way is by going out of our comfort zone. Maybe that means trying something new, or traveling. Maybe you want to conquer fears this year, or make sure you’re not settling for anything less than a magnanimous life. But in the midst of doing all of those things, it may feel as though our process or our efforts may feel slow-paced or inefficient.

Today, it’s all about that: our slow-growth in the midst of discomfort. About being honest in our relationship with the Lord and prayer. How to encourage “healthy vulnerability in our lives. It’s going to be about showing up. Even when it feels like no one is watching. when nobody is listening. or nobody is engaging in your work. I don’t know about you but these feelings are definitely felt on my end from time to time. But as someone who always tries to see the big picture, who tries to find the opportunities in the obstacles, I’m choosing to declare that slow growth can actually be good growth.

It’s okay to go slowly: It’s a good thing. “Slow and steady wins the race,” right? I think it’s fairly common to feel ashamed of disappointed when our realities don’t match up with our expectations. Expectations that we place on ourselves. We grow impatient, we start thinking that we could be, should be, or would be further along than where we are currently standing.

What I want to say is to trust the pace of your journey!

There’s this wild statistic that I heard last year and it’s that 50% of small businesses fail or don’t make it to the 5th year mark in their business. While there can be a multitude of reasons for this, how crazy is that? And that’s the same statistic when it comes to showing up for the Lord. We’re on this all time high for a few year’s time and then eventually feel inadequate when life tears us down. There can be so many possible scenarios of why small businesses don’t make it there or why some of us fall short and quit. But I’m sure that at least one of those scenarios is because of these expectations that we place on ourselves. They become this burden that we carry each day. And I’m sure that many businesses and many of us have thrown in that towel or waved that white flag in the air because we simply felt burnt out or discouraged from the game. Which can feel like one extreme to another sometimes. There’s high high’s and very low low’s.

So this is why I believe slow growth is good growth. Not only because it builds character and it allows you time become the person that you need to be or to gain the skills we need to gain to carry out our ideas and beliefs to begin with. But also because I think it keeps us going. It keeps you from waving that flag after a rollercoaster ride or emotions and experiences.

Hopping on the slow growth chain is not without it’s challenges. Let’s be honest, showing up is hard when you don’t see a return right away.

In my 40 days of silence with God I’m re-learning that it’s not about relying on my strength but to have full trust in Him and his process as he continues to “make everything new!” (Revelations 21:5) The reality is that our growth is all about planting seeds that don’t tend to flourish right away. Sometimes not even weeks, months, or even years later. While that can be frustrating as hell to think about, it’s a good thing. God reminds us in our wavering moments “to not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9) Because this added time, this space, this stillness, is making our growth better. It’s building up our ability to see it through in the best way possible.

Choosing to refine your life takes courage and vulnerability and the risk of failing in front of others. But on the other side of those things is so much goodness, so many results, and so many opportunities that are sometimes even better that what we expected.

Although a call to refinement forces us to live in discomfort sometimes, Faith thrives in discomfort. God designed us to develop habits of obedience and holiness slowly and incrementally because the proves teaches and trains us to live by faith rather than by our often inaccurate perceptions and emotions. The waiting, the slow growth, teaches us to trust more in the truth of what God says rather than the impulses of what we see or how we feel. Remember, it’s not about what you can’t do but more of what God can do.

As Christians, we are slow-grown and fruit-bearing. God’s ways with us may not seem efficient to us. We might even think they are needlessly slow and inefficient. But none of God’s ways are needless and God is not slow; He’s patient. (2 Peter 3:9)

As we grow from discomfort and out of our comfort zone, God wants us to learn patience, too. It’s one of his slow-growing spiritual fruits. We shouldn’t be discouraged with our slow-growth, we should determine to “dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.” (Psalm 37:3) It’s bearing in mind that “what God is doing is something we do not understand, but we will learn to understand” in His time. (John 13:7)

So tonight, my intention for all of us is to examine the forces that shape our expectations. Do not let wrong assumptions fuel your discouragement or disillusionment. Your Christian life is much more like patient, faithful, slow-farming than modern, efficient manufacturing. Let us fill our cup by trusting our divine farmer, our vinedresser. He has very good reasons for maturing us slowly.

Trust the process.

Peace, love, and blessings.

[smoothjazs]

Church yesterday was great. It was everything I needed to hear but I still came out of my father’s house feeling dry, empty, and in dire need for more of God’s wisdom. My time felt short lived. As I pondered on that God immediately told me that all I had to do was Just Show Up. To show up as I am. To show up with the means of formal scripts of prayer. Just as I am.

I devour myself from social media and honestly it’s the one thing that consumes all my time. I love conversation, I love building relationships with people. As we live in a world where people thrive on social media, social access, and technology, it’s hard to give our full undivided attention. Even to the Lord.

For the next 40 days, I will be devoting my time to things and people that are truly important to me. I needed to retreat and surrender for a bit, to devote my time to prayer and meditation, to bask in the presence of our Lord in midst of silence and being alone, to get away from the noise and the distractions of the world.

Who wants to join me?